The Gay Nerd Who Stole His Heart

He knocked on his door.

Silence.

He knocked again, a bit stronger this time, and the door widened open.

"How dare you come back after this long-"

"Woah," Jonah stepped forward, placing himself in between Kylan and Kylan's father, "put the baseball bat down."

"Don't you dare give me orders."

"I said put the fucking baseball bat down," his tone was much more intimidating than Kylan's father, and eventually, the baseball bat was lowered.

"I only came to talk, Dad."

"I don't want to speak with you-"

"I just wanted to know about mom," he sighed.

His father suddenly fell into a blank look and stepped aside. They had never had this conversation, rather never really engaged in an actual conversation. Ever since Kylan was old enough to remember, it was always insults and abuse, and he never really spoke properly to his father.

His father always expressed immense hate towards him, but Kylan had always noticed the hurt behind his father's eyes whenever he crossed his mother's portrait and had heard his soft cries often at night, in his room.

Hence why, after long enough, he decided that he wanted to finally sit down and chat with his father, not only for himself but closure for the both of them.

They both sat in the living room, across from one another. His father had a cigarette hanging at the corner of his mouth, and it was the first time in years that he had seen Kylan without insulting him.

Kylan twirled his thumbs, "She was the love of your life?"

"Indeed she was," his father breathed quietly, and it was obvious that his absent eyes staring into space was recollecting memories from his wife.

They had met during an internship. Both had studied in engineering at separate Universities, and it was around the time his mother passed that Emma found herself into his life. She was new at the internship he worked at, and he needed to guide her around. Noticing the gloom under his eyes, she pulled him into a room and closed the door behind one another.

She turned around and widened her arms with a bright apologetic smile on her face, saying, "Whatever happened to you, I'm sorry. Do you need a hug?"

He cried for hours in her arms, sniffing the strawberry shampoo he had used and embracing her frail physique. Ever since then, their bond had been.

"Your mother was frail, with only bones and barely any muscles. But hugging her was similar to hugging a gigantic teddy bear; she was so warm and welcoming that every time I was in her arm, I felt like I was home."

Kylan noticed the pain behind his father's gaze as he inhaled from his cigarette, "She was so caring, so loving. Our fights always ended with her in tears since she was so sensitive, but through the bickering and the arguments, she never made me sleep on the couch since she worried that I would get cold at night. And when I would sleep on the couch against her will, I would always wake up to her on the floor near the couch, without even a blanket."

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"The way I loved her was something I could never feel for anybody else. She was fierce as well, always ready to stand up and confront anybody that angered her. One time, an elderly woman shoved me to the side since my cart was taking up space in a grocery aisle, and your mother was insanely mad, went to the woman, and yelled at her to the point that security needed to escort her out. Escorted from the grocery store."

"She was so embarrassed that she apologized for hours afterward, believing that causing a scene had made me feel uncomfortable in front of everybody. I don't think she realized that it only made me love her even more."

Jonah shuffled in his seat, and when he noticed Kylan's shoulders begin to quiver, he reached and placed an arm around his waist. He tightened himself against him, their thighs touching, and although Kylan felt a bit comfortable, he could feel his emotions begin to rise, and his eyes became teary.

"Her family did not want her to marry me. They did not favor me since I was not exactly an emotional nor open guy. Even so, she loved me, stood by me, and we ended up getting married against their will. She cried after the wedding since none of her family had shown up, not even her own mother. They made amends years later, but it was difficult to watch her hurt that way since she had chosen me over them."

"I asked her to return to her family and break off the marriage. The way she yelled at me that night, I could never forget. I still remember how shaky her voice was and how much her fingers were trembling with the thought of losing me. It was as if I was her oxygen, and she was mine. We never broke it off, and we moved here where we both found steady jobs."

"We wanted to build a family, and that was when you finally began to grow in her womb. Some days we would lay in bed for hours, and she would wait until you either kicked or moved inside her stomach, but the love in her eyes was something that I miss until this day."

"We had a terrible fight the day before you came, and it was because she wanted to go visit her parents for the weekend, but it was near your due day that I didn't want anything to happen to her. I told her no, and the argument snowballed into something bigger than it was. Some words were exchanged that I regret until this day since her water broke moments later. There was something wrong since she was also bleeding, and she passed out."

"I called an ambulance, they came to our home, I followed behind in my vehicle, they brought her in for surgery. There was something wrong with her, some complications with her uterus, but she did not make it through the surgery. But you did."

Kylan had his eyes filled with tears, and Jonah tightened his grip around him.

"I'm not ashamed that you did, but I lost the love of my life. The woman that was there when I got my first job. She was there when I was hospitalized for a cancerous tumor that they removed. We bought this home together. She walked down the aisle for me; we went on vacations together, celebrated our honeymoon together. Her favorite color was green, and her favorite dish was stir fry. Her favorite movie was The Notebook; her favorite novel was A Lesson Before Dying by Ernest Gaines. She was an amazing swimmer and could figure skate. I used to watch her for hours."

"Her favorite song was an old French song named Non, je ne regrette rien by Edith Piaf. She loved the cold and would cuddle underneath a bunch of blankets with the air condition on. She loved to build a snowman every single winter, decorate the house with Christmas lights even though it took hours for her to do. She loved to drive for hours with soft music, even if it was just around the city. She loved to cuddle with her head against my stomach but was a horrible sleeper and would wake up sprawled across the bed."

"She had an intense love for red wine, could drink an entire bottle by herself. She never liked the lights to be on, rather tiny lamps and candles she set around the house. She had a terrible voice but would sing for hours, put on a show for me as if she were auditioning for a singing show. She would randomly make reservations to a restaurant when she noticed I was in a gloomy mood. She loved watching soccer, and during the World Cup, it was basically war to get her attention. She would often talk in her sleep, and when I would tell her, she would apologize."

"Kylan, your mother was my life. I lived for her. I dreamed of growing old with her. She was the reason I wanted to succeed. My entire life revolves around her every second of the day for years."

"Then you took her away from me in a day. And for that," his father shook his head, and it was evident he was trying but couldn't bring himself to forgive him, "I can never forgive you. I know you didn't choose for that to happen, but your birth was the cause of her death."

When Kylan left home, he was not exactly hurting. Rather, that was the closure he needed. Jonah followed him out of the door and slipped his palms into his front pockets, "You alright?"

Kylan nodded his head, "Yea, I needed to hear those things. I guess it is nice to hear that my father was not always like this and that he did have love inside of him."

Jonah shrugged his shoulders, "At least you don't have to come back here ever again."

"You're right," Kylan smiled at his house, and he pictured his father waving goodbye at him, "I hope we meet again, Dad."