SWNOVELS Chapter Numb that Pain!
Toni stared at the empty glass in front of her, she was numb, but it wasn’t from the alcohol, one bottle of human whisky was never enough for that, but the words of Colin kept repeating themselves in her head.
Who else knew, Colin hadn't taken details of who contacted him, only knowing the when and where of the accident.
She picks up the almost empty bottle of thirty-year Ballantine’s, maybe she’d buy another, maybe she wouldn’t, she hadn’t decided,
A bit like the information she’d received from the human, she’s adrift and unsure of what to do next, a feeling she’d never had before, always so sure of herself and of what’s next, even when things are unpalatable, she’s able to see a path, but not now.
The look on the barman’s face when she’d asked for a new, unopened, bottle of this whisky had been the one high point of that day.
The panic of having to tell her the price, that at five hundred and fifty it had a hundred and fifty mark up from the standard prices was not making his day, clearly not wanting to annoy her was priceless, she’d growled before paying and now he was keeping his distance, which suited her just fine.
She was allowing herself a single evening to dwell on the information she’d got, it was better, she reasoned, than going on a murderous rampage, the former she may regret for a day, the latter, for the rest of her life.
Laughing out loud to herself at that idea, it’s not like the rest of her life is looking all that long at this point; the loudness of her laugh causes the bar to fall quiet.
An uneasy silence from the rest of the bar patrons fills the room, all trying not to make eye contact, but watching carefully, laughing for no reason isn’t normal behaviour to them, and nor is a werewolf stranger in this mostly human bar
She’d swept in an hour earlier, her face like the angel of death, her command aura surrounding her like a protective cloak of fury, everyone, melting away before her, leaving her standing in front of an uneasy barman.
Regardless of species, the bars in this part of the Neutral zone don’t host innocents, it’s the darker seedier clientele here and they all know the familiar face of someone who doesn’t fear their own death, and more importantly, they know how dangerous a person like that can be so they give her space.
She doesn’t bother looking around, pouring the last of that bottle into her glass, the rest of her life… that was a joke, in a few days she meets James, before heading off for the challenge.
The cold-hearted killer she was pegged as couldn’t face the idea of spending just under two days with the deaths of any others on her conscience.
All because the people she wanted to kill now, and she had a list, would be her choice and not someone else’s command.
“Another bottle.”
She slams her empty glass on the bar making the barman jump before she shoots a dark look at the man who has taken a seat next to her.
He puts his hands up in mock surrender
“There are other seats” she growls warningly
“This is my seat, always was, always will be, you are free to move though.”
His harsh voice gains her attention
The barman delivers another bottle to her and a glass of what smells like Laphroaig to the man sitting by her side.
“These are on me” he nods to the barman
“Sure Boss” he answers scurrying away.
“I don’t need your charity, nor want your company”
She gets up to leave, feeling a hand on her arm, a long low dark snarl leaves her throat, the tension in the bar increasing.
Dropping his hand, he looks over her carefully before he starts to speak
“Sit, humour me but pay for your own damn drink if that’s what you want.
I’m just curious about the female who managed to scare the people who frequent this bar, which is no mean feat, something I should probably thank you for.
Table service and the extra cover it attracts has, in the last hour, never been so lucrative, I think you’ve earned me the cost of that bottle three times over” he smirks at her.
Toni just stares at the man sitting to her right,
“Human, you certainly have balls to be so close to a wolf, that, as you put it, scares your clients, maybe they need to grow a pair, or you need to learn to back off.
Time will tell which is the better option!”
“Ahh like every good man, I carry protection”
He winks at her before placing a vial on the bar.
“All my staff carry these, licensed, of course, knocks you out for a short while, long enough to get silver handcuffs on you and call in the authorities.
No permanent damage.”
She smiles, but it’s a slow predatory smile, leaning towards him she whispers
“You amuse me”
Her voice low makes him move his head closer to her
“The fact that you think you could stab me with that before I broke your neck is amusing!
I could probably even take out one or two of your henchmen as long I kept moving, they are human, with human reflexes after all, the one to the right is already nervous, making him an easy target.”
She sits back smirking, before grabbing the new bottle of whisky, opening it and pouring out another glass.
He takes a long look at her, before grabbing his glass
“Touché impressed you noticed the guards, people rarely do.
But you would also be dead, and that seems so wasteful for one so young.”.
She barks out a harsh laugh as he takes a sip of his drink, rolling it around his mouth and savouring the flavour
“Not if I am already dead, or as good as… maybe a quick death is more favourable to me.”
He looks at her one more time as if re-assessing her.
“Now I am intrigued, what is a she-wolf, one that scares the fuck out of my regulars doing in the seediest part of town?
Alone and suggesting you are looking for a quick death!”
“Drinking”
Toni raises her glass to back up her statement, downing it in one large gulp
“Tsk tsk that’s no way to treat a fine whisky!” he admonishes
“Just you don’t look like you need someone here to do your dirty work, which is why many new faces come here.”
Toni sighs
“I don’t, this happened to be the first bar I saw after I decided I needed to drink.
Usually, these kinds of places offer their patrons privacy…. And space, definitely space”
She pours another shot of whisky downing it quickly.
“Oh, and alcohol”
The irritation in her voice has the barman looking over worried.
“I’ll give you space, but take my business card, in case you need more than just space.”
He places the card in front of her on the bar and walks off
She looks at it, the neutral zone works on favours, and they want her to be in debt to them.
Whether they know who she is or not, they recognise the darkness in her, she knows his type and dealt with them before.
Signalling to the barman she throws five hundred and fifty onto the bar, before grabbing the bottle and leaving the business card there, she’d rather do deals with the Vampire from the other night.
Humans had a way of breaking their word, a vampire’s bond, on the other hand, wouldn’t be broken easily, you just need to be precise on the wording.
She picked this bar mostly as it was close to the border of wolf territory, it took her thirty minutes of jogging to get out of neutral territory, and a further ten to finish the bottle.
She picks up her bag shifting to her wolf, now is the time to forget. Tyra shakes out her fur, then she’s running free, back into no-mans-land.
No Mate
No Humans
No Vampires
No Thought
No Worries
Toni is buried deep, all control is with Tyra
She lets out a long loud howl, announcing her presence to the forest, before she sets off, her brown fur blending with the forest shadows, it’s time to run.
For the next few days, she plans to be nothing but a wolf dismissing all human worries.
Letting Tyra just run, forgetting the pain and betrayal she feels inside, letting her wolf’s instincts take over and do whatever it is she needs to do, to heal.
This had been the best and worst week of her life to date.
So, you are still here, I honestly thought I’d be alone in this by now, after all my life is essentially a quiet one, living alone, interacting without bonding with others is a half-life to a wolf, and yet Tyra, while not happy, is not struggling without the regular fixed bonds.
Have you ever wanted to just forget
To not think
To live but not be wholly present
To live without remorse, without pain, without stress?
That’s what this feels like, to sink so low in Tyra’s consciousness, it’s as close to being a baby in a womb as you can get.
You are there, but there’s no real consciousness, in this mode, your wolf side is concerned with survival mostly, hunt, eat, sleep, rinse and repeat.
Now don’t get me wrong, there are feelings, like the rush of a good hunt, of having faced your own mortality in the face of another beast and won, or the feeling of warm flesh as you tear into it.
I guess, if I am honest, I prefer the taste of prey that has known the hunt, not just a clean kill they didn’t know about, there’s a different taste, and while I don’t know for sure, I guess it’s why Vampires like the pain-filled blood before they give their victim the high, it’s that adrenaline spike, adds a sweetness to the meat or blood.
And no, I see you, yes you blonde bob girl, I know what you want to ask, I AM NOT going to talk about my parents, I mean what the fuck is the point of sinking that low in my wolf’s mind to forget the pain if you are just going to drag me back with questions.
You just have to trust in me, that I’ll tell you when you are… no scrap that, when I am ready and if that’s never, that’s not my problem.
But honestly, I am surprised you all stuck around, especially once you knew what I was and what I am capable of, maybe you aren’t as judgemental as I first thought.
I guess you also feel safe being on Human land, well you have a good point, but no matter, none of you has been that bad and in reality, and even if you were, if you’ve been paying attention, I have a certain reluctance to my job.
So as long as you don’t draw Alpha Vincent’s attention, you are probably safe, none of you are on my shit list.
As Toni left the bar, the owner picked up the phone from his office, watching the monitors as he did.
His eyes dart to the picture on his board, the one with the Neutral zone untouchables pinned to it; it's the same wolf and this one is protected by Vampires.
He looks once more at the scrap of paper he is holding, the money is good, but was it good enough?
He dials the number before him.
“That she-wolf you were asking about, she turned up today”
He listens intently to the answer
“Her hair was different, but it was her, no one scares the fuck out of my bar patrons as that wolf did, I have no doubt it’s who you are looking for.”
Pausing he listens
“Uh-huh, that’s right.
She’s just left the bar, drunk a fair bit but was heading into the wolf territory we border on.
“I’ll expect the payment in my account.”
He stops to listen once more.
“Fair enough, but don’t cross me, I know it’s the wolf you want, I’ve never met anyone like her, and never want to again.
You sell me out and there will be trouble, !”