THE GALAXYMBION ODYSSEY

“Have you been able to contact The Great Rendezvous, sub-commander Colochul? Tell them we stand ready to provide medical and technical assistance.”

“No reply, Princess. I keep broadcasting your offer. The last message we received from them was some squashed shit about customers spending life in carnal pleasures, wealth acquisition and debauched hedonism. That floating platform of iniquitous dung should piss off into a very nasty black hole.”

“What did you just say?” Sebria asked, still standing next to Balasaniwa. The whole command deck had become silent and frozen with astonishment. Colochul’s lips parted in readiness to restate his dialogue.

“No, don’t repeat it, whatever you do. Balasaniwa, this is your friend and associate; you know him much better than I do. Has he decontaminated his mind in a learning sphere session yet?”

Balasaniwa patted the awkward looking Colochul, nearly knocking him off his seat. “Yes, he went through a course of fifteen treatments. Poor soul, they must have really got to him.”

“What strength?” Sebria asked. She was beginning to form an understanding of what probably happened.

“One, I think,” Balasaniwa replied. “He was frightened that higher strengths would fry his brain. Colochul, my friend?”

“One, indeed,” Colochul admitted, head bowed. “I was afraid that two thousand orbits on Earth had destroyed my cerebral structure and anything stronger would cause side effects. You don’t know what it was like to live amongst such creatures for so long. All my senses were under a continual daily barrage of mindless fucking stupidity. Oops, sorry.”

“So I see, Colochul,” Sebria said quietly. “Learning spheres are safe up to full strength, even following long-term exposure to barbaric primitives. Colochul, please urgently return to a Learning Sphere Suite and regain your cerebral normality at strength seven or higher, at least five sweeps. Then rest for two perchrons before returning to your station.”

“Of, course, Princess. Thank you for your understanding. And thank you, friend Balasaniwa, for visiting me personally to see how I am readjusting to normal life with normal people.” The embarrassed sub-commander left a little sheepishly, and in a hurry to correct his errant Ledaran influences.

“Well,” Balasaniwa stated, “it seems my visit was ideally timed. Colochul suffered on that world more than me or his two confederates; it would be a pity to see him persecuted by human silliness. Please look after him and make sure he recovers fully; be lenient in view of his experiences.”

“Of course, Time Commander. But I seriously and respectfully ask that Colochul is transferred to Kulnidaro’s crew roster. He knows you as a friend; that familiarity should help him recover and take his long-term psychological welfare more seriously. I would like to transfer his duty protocols to your command as soon as possible, since he is obviously not yet ready to serve in unfamiliar territory.”

“You are probably correct, Princess Sebria. It was my mistake to assign him to Omnipotence, and I stand enlightened. You may consider his reassignment immediate; I will collect him on my way to my A9 transport, and have my personnel officer complete the transfer procedure. I must say that Omnipotence is an extremely well organised and impressive starship; a credit to you and your crew, to Caldia and The Galaxymbion. Princess Sebria, your crew have discharged their responsibilities with distinction during this crisis.”

“Thank you for your praise, recognition and kindness toward myself, my cruiser and my crew, Time Commander.”

“My commendations for them, for your leadership, and for Omnipotence’s vital role in this disaster, are entirely justified. And thank you for relieving Kulnidaro of its little problem. I am glad it was not too inconvenient for you to return those students to Talara, and your assistance with that was a considerable weight off my mind. Well, now I must return to complete the final act of The Solution. I will see you all on the other side.”

“Success and ascendance to you, Kulnidaro and your valiant crew. Return to us safely, Balasaniwa of Crenzala.”

“Of course. And you have a good journey home.”

The elderly commander and statesman left the command deck as Sebria turned to her Captain. “Let me know when Balasaniwa’s Aldebaran 9 has safely re-docked with Kulnidaro. Krissmin, my old friend, care to take over the sub-commander’s data station?”

“Well,” Krissmin stated, a playful smile hinting at honourable mischief, “if your Highness insists and does not mind a sub-commander with only three centuries of experience.”

“I do insist, and I do not mind. Captain Kalana, you may take us home at your discretion. Don’t forget to drop our young Kolda-rian off at his home planet if he wishes. I will be in recreation if needed.”

“So,” Captain Kalana observed as Sebria left, “we can be back at Kolda-ra in a few revs, sub-commander Vorn.”

“No need for that, Captain. I think I will stick around for a while and it has been ages since I last saw Caldia; has it changed much?”

“Not really. It is still the marvellously warm paradise Kolda-ra always wanted to be.”

“Very funny. You have never been to Iloa; a sub-tropical wonderland, dear Captain. We have water and trees; can you imagine such miracles on that dry dustbowl you call home?”

“That was almost amusing, ice-world creature. There is plenty of water on Caldia, just no accursed ice or swampy vegetation causing mists. Caldian air is remarkably clean and pure without all that moisture, and it is possible to be comfortable without temperature controlled clothing. We don’t have to endure so many insects either.”

“The only way to be comfortable on Caldia is without any clothing, standing in a refrigerated storage room.”

“Krissmin Vorn, you wound me. The only way to be comfortable on Kolda-ra is to move it nearer to its star.”

Everyone laughed, including Krissmin.

Outside in the void of space Balasaniwa’s Aldebaran 9 floated gracefully to its waiting mothership. That vessel’s final mission was especially dangerous and unpredictable. Only commanders of most senior rank knew the details of Kulnidaro’s Final Plan which, even if successful, could mean certain destruction for the experimental time ship. If that mission failed, destruction was assured. On his station’s monitor Krissmin could see the remaining armada departing to their respective registry planets. At last the A9 docked. “Balasaniwa is back on board Kulnidaro, Captain. Shall I inform the Princess?”

“No, friend Krissmin. This is not urgent information, and I have something I need to discuss with her. Why not resume your command while I am absent?”

“How much time will you be gone for? What if I blow up the ship through carelessness and senility?”

Captain Kalana halted in mid-stride and looked round at his Kolda-rian friend. “About twenty or thirty lapses to answer your first question. To your second I can point out that even if you do who’s going to report you?” They both laughed.

Krissmin turned his attention back to the view-screen, where Kulnidaro could be seen suspended in space, long and sleek. Held within its central ring The Cube hung incongruously.

First Navigant Prime Tarsindri watched Krissmin take the chair that so long ago had been his. “You seem reluctant to occupy your old place, Captain.”

“I am not Captain any more, ancient friend. Nor am I that younger, more impetuous person you once knew.” He sat at last after delaying for several pulses.

“There, now all is as it should be. Do you remember dear Krissmin Vorn, your remarkable solution to the famous Elvakay incident? If not, then I do.”

“Don’t you say a word, lady Tarsindri! It was bad enough back then being treated like some luminary by an entire Arcturus full of young Caldian idealists. That is why I left after a tour of duty lasting forty-seven cycles. To make matters worse, when I returned home my own people named a protocol in my honour.”

“It was well deserved, old friend. I remember everything so clearly, as if it was only a few revs ago.”

“Say one more word about Elvakay and I will have you removed from your command!”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“I would dare, lady Tarsindri.”

The First Navigant Prime scowled at him heavily. “Spoilsport.”

“Emeritus Captain,” the comm officer interrupted. “Kulnidaro is signalling preparations to depart. Shall I confirm?”

“Yes. Wish them good weather; my regards to Balasaniwa and his intrepid crew. Tarsindri, now is your chance to keep out of mischief. As soon as Kulnidaro has embarked, you may plot but do not implement our homeward course.”

“Yes, Captain. Even at maximum speed it will take us two revs to reach Caldia. That is a long time to go without a story.”

“I have told you once already, lady Tarsindri. This is your final warning; no ‘Captain’, no story. Understood?”

“If you say so,” Tarsindri huffed exaggeratedly.

“Time Commander Balasaniwa advises they are ready to depart. He wishes us safe homeward journey.”

“Acknowledged. Hold our own departure, all personnel to transition stations. Do not implement until Kulnidaro has sparkled out. I want to watch that process just one more time.”

“As you wish, Captain.”

“Tarsindri!”

“Well, what am I supposed to call you?”

“Just Krissmin, or old Vorn, or friend. Any of those is fine.”

“You were an incorrigible rascal back then. You are worse now.”

“Kulnidaro is scaling up, radiation filters are at maximum. Get ready, everyone,” the comm officer announced. “There she goes.”

For a few pulses nothing seemed to happen, then abruptly space around Kulnidaro rippled and flared with blue and orange swirls of energy. A single burst of violent incandescence pierced the universe in all directions and as suddenly as it had flamed into existence so it was no more. Where the Temporal Cruiser had been was just calm, empty space again.

“Like an aroused predator with no claws, yet eyes of fire and mind behind them raging with desire; It prances and devours fortune and soliloquy, untamed yet not of hatred born; The Slayer of Time springs forth into the cold, armed only with its majesty; What kind of cocktail does it consume? None, except its subtle destiny.”

“Ancient poetry, father Krissmin?” Tarsindri smiled. “You old romantic. Have you been to Equillan recently?”

“Not ancient poetry, dear woman. Contemporary, Kolda-rian, mine.”

“I’ll send a transcript of that to Kulnidaro, then.”

“You will do no such thing! Attend to your duties and stop being troublesome or I will strand you on Elvakay as in the old days.”

“Return to Elvakay protocols?”

“Exactly, you mischievous strumpet. Now stop talking and set a new course for the destination I am now feeding into your flight control station. Much as I don’t want Sebria to be late for supper we have new orders from her and Captain Kalana.”

“Okay, it’s our turn to sparkle out. New course setting verified by Princess Sebria. Here we go.” Omnipotence gathered momentum in a wide arc and straightened along a specific axis. “Let’s hope this journey is a little less eventful and is followed soon after by our return homeward. Ultralight in five, four, three, two, one. Maximum velocity in ten pulses.”