SWNOVELS The Forbidden Freshman: Chapter 53
Ethan’s skating like a demon this practice, which means Liam must have told him about the library incident. I knew he would, so there was no point asking him not to say anything. When he wrapped his jacket around me, then headed off to the locker room, it was inevitable.
Ethan will want to talk about it, and I’m trying to prep myself for that.
Part of me wants to forget it.
So those girls got a little mouthy. Big deal.
I can brush that off.
Right?
I hunch over against the cold, curling in on myself like a little porcupine.
My phone starts ringing, and I pull it out of the back pocket of my jeans. The jacket falls off my shoulders and I shiver, answering the phone with a “One sec” before taking the time to pull the giant thing on.
It looks ridiculous on me. The shoulders are so wide, they practically come down to my elbows, and my hands have been lost to the length of these sleeves.
I wrestle my digits free and snatch up my phone, pressing it against my ear. “Sorry about that. How’s it going, Ray-Ray?”
“Yeah. Okay.”
I sit up a little straighter. Okay in Ray speak is basically My life is total shit.
“What’s up?”
“I was just calling to check on you.”
My lips twitch. Ray can never just spill. She always has to work her way into things. She’ll hide her angst, cover it with care for me before finally telling me what’s going on.
Curiosity and worry make me rush through my stuff.
“It’s good and bad. Living with Ethan and the guys is pretty cool. I know it’s temporary, so I’m trying to enjoy what I can. I beat Casey’s high score on Devil’s Doorway the other night, so yay.” My cheer is stupidly weak.
I keep my eyes on the rink, watching Ethan speed down the edge before whipping around the back of the goal. Whatever drill he’s doing is giving him a pretty decent workout. He’s flying right now, controlling the puck with these little taps and swooshes. It’s like he was born to do this.
“And the bad stuff?”
I huff. “The girls are still horrible. My mom and I are still… not speaking, and I have no idea how I’m going to pay for next semester, let alone the rest of my degree, which means I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I’m on a ticking clock here.” My voice starts to wobble, tears burning my eyes.
“Aw, Mick, I’m so sorry. I always was a little afraid of your mom, but… I didn’t think she was capable of cutting you off.”
“Yeah, I guess… that’s just what people do. They leave me, Ray-Ray.”
“Not all of them. Not me. I will never abandon you. You are stuck with me for life.”
My smile is weak. “You’re miles away.”
“Physically, but I’m always here. I’m here right now. With you.”
I swallow and nod, appreciating the soft lilt of her voice and forgetting for a moment that she’s got her own struggle that needs to be talked about. Sucking in a breath, I’m about to ask her when she cuts me off with a few more sweet words of comfort.
“And Ethan. I mean, I know I’ve only spoken to him twice on video, but he seems really cool. And from what you’ve told me… the connection you guys have… it sounds like he’s in this for the long haul, sweets. He loves you.”
“Yeah, that’s what he says.” I sigh. “It’s also what my dad used to say. And my mom… when I was little.”
She goes quiet, because how do you argue with that?
But she tries anyway. “Just because your parents suck doesn’t mean everybody does. Ethan is good, and the way he looked at you when I met him that day? How he touched your neck and showed genuine interest in me because I’m your best friend? I don’t know… I just got a good vibe about him.”
“Thanks, Ray,” I whisper, sniffing against my unshed tears and trying to believe every word out of her mouth. I want to. I so desperately want to. Closing my eyes, I take a short breath, then figure it’s her turn. “So… what’s with the okay?”
She doesn’t respond, and I have to probe again.
“Come on. You can’t leave me hanging. You’ve made me feel better, and now it’s my turn to help you. What’s made your day shitty?”
After a soft sniff, her quaking voice comes down the line. “Theo and I had our first fight.”
“Aw, sweetie. How bad was it?”
“Awful. You know how much I hate conflict.”
“I do, but it’s also part of life. Couples fight.”
“He was so mad,” she whispers. “I’ve never seen him like that before. He was yelling, and then he slammed his bottle down, shoved the chair back. It was horrible.”
I bite my lip, wincing when I think about it. Ray did not grow up in a house of shouters. Her mother never raised her voice, and when her dad was alive, he was one of those sweet, quiet types, always had a smile at the ready and a kind word to say.
Theo’s outburst probably scared the crap out of her.
“Have you guys made up yet?”
“Sort of. He drove off in a huff and came back about twenty minutes later. The second he saw me crying, he rushed over and hugged me. He told me he never wants to fight again, and then we… well, you know.”
I grin. “Makeup sex is the only good thing about arguing with your lover.”
“Yeah. I guess.” She sighs. “I should be telling you I’m great. Why do I still feel bad? Am I just being overly sensitive? I’m not used to yelling.”
“My parents used to yell at each other sometimes. Mostly Mom, but…” I shrug, dropping my assurances quickly because hello, my parents got divorced. “What was the fight about?”
“Oh, I got home from work and the kitchen was a mess. It’d been a tough day, and I got a little snippy with him. Asked him how long he’d been home and kind of hinted at the fact that he was sitting there drinking a beer and relaxing when he could have been cleaning up the mess. I’d had a longer day than him, so why should I have to do it, you know? I’m working two jobs now, and it’s—”
“You’re working two jobs?”
“Yeah, I took on two shifts at the grocery store to help with finances. Theo suggested it, and I thought it was a good idea. We want to save up for a trip to Hawaii.”
“Nice,” I murmur, then snort. “So you’re working two jobs and he’s not helping out around the house. Guys can be so frickin’ clueless sometimes.”
“I didn’t think I was expecting too much. I mean, sure, my jobs are probably less demanding than his, but he got home before me. I felt like it was fair that he pitch in too.” She sighs. “But when I said that, he got all annoyed, saying how his job is harder than mine. I don’t even know what I said to make him start yelling, but he did, and then he stormed off before I could say anything back.”
“Dick move, Theo.” I frown, wondering if I should try meeting this guy again. I’ve only had one short conversation with him, back when they first got together. Theo never seems to be around when I’m talking to Rachel. I’m about to suggest we amend this, but she starts talking before I can.
“I suppose this is just teething problems. New situations always have them.”
“Do you regret moving in with him?”
“No. It’s better than living on my own. I guess we just have to figure out what this looks like for us.”
“Maybe if you talk to him when things are all happy and good. Work an angle to make him think that helping you out around the house is his idea. Or go on about how much it would mean to you. You said he’s sweet and caring and loves buying you stuff, right? He obviously cares about you and wants to make you happy. You just need to tell him what your happy looks like.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m not very good at telling people what I want.”
I smile. “I’m pretty sure guys need you to spell it out for them. They’re not always the best at reading a woman’s mind.”
“Is Ethan like that with you? Totally clueless?”
“Uh… actually, no. I feel like he’s great at reading me.”
“You haven’t had any teething problems staying with him?”
I cringe, almost feeling bad for her when I admit, “None. It’s been awesome. The only downer is everything outside of Hockey House, but inside… it’s great. Ethan and I are made for each other. It still makes my head spin when I think about it.” I raise my hand in a wave, smiling when Ethan glances up to check on me. He grins back and skates into another drill. He really is hot on that ice. Damn, it still seems surreal that he’s mine.
“I’m happy for you, Mick. You deserve it.”
I just hope it lasts.
Fear clutches me for a beat, and I have to fight not to say that to Ray. Instead, I clear my throat and direct the conversation back to her. “Let me know how it goes with Theo. I’m sure you can work this out. You love him and he loves you, and this is just a little blip along the road, right? And remember, you don’t have to keep living with him if these blips keep happening. Not all experiments are a success.”
“Oh, but I want this one to be. The idea of rambling around in Mom’s house by myself sucks, plus we’ve already rented it out. I can’t go kicking out brand-new tenants. And… and Theo’s great. I love him. I really do. We just had a bad day.”
“A day that included makeup sex, so it can’t have been all bad.”
She lets out a soft laugh. “True. Thanks, Mick. You always make me feel better.”
“Ditto times infinity.”
I’m not quite ready to end the call, so I launch into a completely inane topic that has nothing to do with guys. Well, real guys anyway. “Hey, have you watched The Night Agent yet?”
She gasps. “Yes! And how hot is he? And so protective of Rose. I seriously would have binged the entire thing in one sitting if I hadn’t had to go to work in the morning.”
“I know. I was obsessed with the show. We ended up watching until like three the other morning. I could barely focus in class the next day, but worth it.” I sing the last two words, then start laughing as she gushes over the twists she didn’t see coming.
We unpack the show in detail, then move on to Citadel, which is another show peppered with hot men and heart-clutching action. I’m so absorbed in our breakdown that I nearly miss the fact that practice has ended and the guys are trailing past me, giving me little waves and smiles as they leave the arena.
Ethan is taking his sweet time showering, so I linger on the phone with Rachel until I see him coming.
“Hey, I better get going. Ethan’s practice is done.” I smile at him as he walks toward me, but then my stomach pinches. Why does he look so nervous?
“Okay.” Rachel’s voice is back to the sweet, cheerful one I’m used to. “Thanks again for making me feel so much better. I seriously love you, bestie.”
“I love you too. Now go have more makeup sex with your man.”
She giggles. “You have a good night too.”
I mumble goodbye, not wanting to tell her that I’m suddenly worried about my night. What is up with that tight look on Ethan’s face?
I slip my phone away as Ethan stops at the bottom of the stands, obviously waiting for me. His jaw clenches, and he looks out over the ice as I gather my stuff and trot down the stairs.
I’m three steps away when he turns to grin up at me. His smile is too tight.
“What’s the matter?” Gripping my bag strap, I stop where I am, afraid to get too close. Not because I think he’ll hurt me, just because I can feel a serious conversation coming, and I freaking hate those.
Shit, Rachel helped me de-stress after the library incident, and now Ethan’s gonna want to unpack it.
“Listen, I’m good. We don’t have to talk about my afternoon. Let’s just—”
“I have to tell you something.” His voice is deep and husky.
And now that pinching fear is taking chunks out of my stomach.
I tense, just waiting for those words to pop out of his mouth. “This isn’t working. I’ll find you another place to live. We can’t be together. I don’t love you anymore.”
I’m so blinded by my panic that I nearly miss what he actually says.
“Wait. What?” I blink and try to hear him past the buzzing in my ears.
He winces and runs a hand over the back of his wet hair. His gaze glimmers with a hint of apology. “Please don’t be mad with me, okay? I just want to help you.”
“What did you do?” I need him to repeat it, to say it again so I can make sure I heard him correctly.
His face wrinkles with confusion, and he finally says it, says the one thing I never thought he would. “I found your dad, and… he wants to see you.”