The Forbidden Freshman: A College Sports Romance (Nolan U Hockey Book 1)

I watch the big guy walk away and have to bite my lip to stop myself from calling him back.

“I lied! This isn’t my dorm! I have no place to go, Captain Hero!”

But I can’t let myself say it.

He’s too hot and… he laughed at my trash talk. He grinned at me as if I was likable. He stayed with me despite my every attempt to shoo him away, and then he went and lowered his voice to this husky timbre that sent my insides into chaos while telling me that accepting help doesn’t make me weak.

He could make me weak, though.

If the throbbing between my legs and the mass of butterflies in my belly are any indication, he could turn my body, mind, and soul into putty.

It’s good that he’s walking away.

I don’t want to be attracted to some tall hunk of a man.

I’m at Nolan U to study and earn my degree and pursue my dreams. No one else is going to do that for me, and I won’t let myself get distracted by Empire State Buildings. Even if they do smell good and laugh at my lame superhero code names.

“The Jock? Tall Man? Ugh!” I tip my head back in disgust. I could have done so much better than that. My dad introduced me to comic books when I was six, and I was hooked from day one. Sure, I haven’t read any in a while, but still…

My chest seems to cave in, this unwanted pain pinching me as I picture sitting on Dad’s knee while he introduced me to all his favorite characters. He used to read to me every night.

Until he didn’t.

Until the only sound in the house was Mom’s fussing and Megan’s whining… and the clock that ticked above my bookshelf.

I haven’t touched a comic book in years. How am I supposed to read them without him? Who the hell would I talk to about Captain Marvel and Black Widow? Who would I dissect storylines with?

With a short sniff, I turn on my heel, staring up at the five-story dorm and having no idea what it’s even called.

I just needed to get the guy to hand me my bag back.

The way his muscles flexed when he held it away from me…holy hotcakes. I wanted to nibble every inch of his rounded biceps, run my fingers over his hard chest… maybe even my tongue.

He was way too damn sexy, and it’s good that he walked away. It’s good that I don’t know his name.

I nod, trying to convince myself of this, yet I still turn and look over my shoulder, searching the dimly lit street for him.

He’s gone. And now I have to find a place to sleep.

My old dorm is another few blocks away, but it’s unusable right now and probably won’t be fixed for months. Besides, Mom really wants me to join the sorority and… Shit, she’s going to be so let down when I tell her. She was desperate for me to become a Sig Be sister, just like she was. And I thought I could do it—be the good daughter and finally do something right for a change—but they’re asking too much. I can’t go hurting some guy just to score a permanent place in the house. That’s so wrong.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I fight off the burn of irritation and break into a run. Tall Man would not be impressed that I’m careening through campus on my own at this time of night, but what choice do I have?

I need to find a place to crash. At least I’m running, right?

The bag whacks against my leg, growing heavier by the second, but I push on until I’m a puffing mess and slowing to a walk outside the hockey arena.

I won’t be able to get into the building, but maybe I can find a shadowy patch against its looming edge. Someplace I can curl up, unseen, and try to get some sleep.

Exhaustion is tugging at me as I reach the end of the path and skirt the side of the building. I end up near the parking lot. It’s well-lit, so I can see and hear people coming, but if I press my back against the wall, I’ll be hidden in a strip of shadow. Dumping my duffel bag on the ground, I kick it up against the concrete and flop down beside it.

I’m drenched in darkness and feel safe enough. Even if a vanload of sleazoids pulls up, they won’t be able to see me.

Resting my head back against the cold surface of the building, I stare up at the night sky and shake my head.

What the fuck am I going to do?

Sleep here every night from now on?

Shit.

Mom will find out about my performance tonight. She always does, because her soon-to-be stepdaughter, Aimee fucking Walters, tells her everything.

Yep, that’s right. My sorority president is going to be my stepsister, and if that’s not a punch to the face, the fact that my mother is stupidly in love with her smarmy father is like a kick to the balls—if I had them, although I’m sure a kick to the V-jay hurts pretty bad too.

That’s what the engagement announcement felt like, anyway.

Or maybe it’s the fact that since hooking up with Jarrod, my mom has turned herself into someone I don’t even recognize. Who knew that the Walters were the only family on the planet who knew absolutely everything and whatever they say isn’t just opinion, it’s irrefutable law.

“But Jarrod says Nolan U is the only college you should be considering. It’s elite, Mikayla. The best of the bunch. He’s happy to pay for your tuition if you go there.”

“Jarrod believes this is the best choice for you, and so do I.”

“Jarrod knows his stuff, Mikayla. Don’t try to argue with him. You only embarrass yourself… and me.”

“Grrr.” I let out a disgusted huff and dig into my bag for my phone.

Me: Hey, you up?

I only have to wait a minute before I get a response.

Ray: Yep. You okay?

Me: Need to talk.

And my phone starts ringing.

“Hey, bestie,” I murmur.

“Hey, you. What’s up?” Rachel’s sweet voice brings instant comfort, and I pull my knees to my chest, hugging myself and avoiding the question by asking one of my own.

“How’s Cali?”

“It’s good.” I can hear the smile in her voice, and I know she’s either with, or thinking about, her new boyfriend. “Not the same without you, though. Who knew Fontana could be so bland without the presence of Mikayla Hyde?” Her soft laughter hits my ears and I ache for home, especially when her voice quakes. “I did. I knew.”

I sniff. “I miss you.”

“Ditto times infinity.”

The ache blooms and spreads across my entire chest. It’s an effort to keep my voice upbeat. “How’s the new job going?”

I should really ask about Theo. That’s her favorite topic of conversation these days, but I don’t really want to talk about guys or to hear how happy she is with hers.

“Yeah, it’s pretty good. I mean, waitressing isn’t exactly my dream job.”

“It’s a foot into the food industry. You’ll own your little bake shop one day.”

“Yeah,” she sighs. “That’s what Theo keeps telling me. I wish I’d gotten that job at Sweet-a-licious. Can’t believe I lost out to Amber Buchanan.”

“I know, right? You are so much better at cake decorating than her, plus your customer service is far superior. Remember last time we went in and she basically snubbed us until we started incessantly ringing the bell?”

“You started incessantly ringing the bell, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her face go so red.” Rachel starts giggling, and I can’t help laughing along with her.

Tears burn my eyes, but I squeeze them shut and order them to dry out immediately. I will not start crying over the phone. It’ll only make her worry, and I don’t want to do that to her. She already has a propensity to stress about the smallest stuff, and I won’t do anything to trigger her.

“Hey, so did I tell you my mom got that job in Jamaica?”

“Really?” I perk up. “Wow. She must be stoked.”

“Yeah, she’s pumped. She’s wanted to get into international teaching for so long but knew it’d be too much for me. She’s waited all this time for me to graduate, and it’s her turn, you know?”

“When does she leave?”

“About three weeks. They’re fast-tracking her visa to get her down there quicker.”

“Oh, dude. That is so fast.”

“I know. It’s gonna be really weird without her around.”

“Are you staying in the house?”

“She says I can, but I don’t know. I don’t really want to live on my own.”

“You could get a roommate.”

“Yeah, but the only one I’d want to live with is you, and you’re stuck in Colorado for the next four years.”

I wince, remembering how horrible our goodbye was. It’s not like I can afford to fly back… unless my mother or Jarrod pays for it, and I’m already dependent enough on them.

“How’s your mom doing?” She asks it softly, knowing it’s a sensitive topic right now.

“Well, she’s loving Aspen. Living it up in her new mansion with her two little Pekingese and my perfect little sister.”

“I bet Megan’s adjusting well to the move.”

“Ugh.” I stick out my tongue. “Megan adjusts well to everything.”

“I’m just glad you guys didn’t move until the summer. I would have hated graduating without you.”

“I never would have let that happen.” My voice dies off, strangled by the thought that I did let moving miles away from my best friend happen.

I originally wanted to go to UCLA, which would have been about a ninety-minute drive from the place I grew up in. But then Nolan University popped onto my radar when Mom told us we were moving to Aspen. Well, it had always kind of been there, since it’s Mom’s alma mater and she’s often gone on about wishing I could go there but knowing she could never afford to send me. Until she met Jarrod. Turns out they bonded over their shared love of this college, regaling each other with stories of how they both went here.

After that, the inevitable was set in motion. They wouldn’t have given me a dime toward college tuition if I hadn’t agreed to come here. I mean, they never actually put it that bluntly, but I could read between the lines. The look on Mom’s face when she was basically pleading with me to accept Nolan U was too much. She has these lofty dreams for me that will never happen because I’m not her. Yet I still felt compelled to do as she wanted. To not let her down. I hate that I feel this way sometimes. She caught me in a moment of weakness where all I could think about was how badly my dad had let her down over the years and how I couldn’t be another person to do that to her.

So, I agreed and made her smile, and then… Jarrod asked me to sign a stupid contract, like paying for his future stepdaughter’s college tuition was a business transaction. Mom wasn’t bothered by it.

“I’ve signed a prenup. What’s the big deal? It’ll keep you accountable. Jarrod likes things on paper. He’s worked really hard for his money, and he deserves some guarantees. He’s investing in your education. You should be happy about this.”

“But look at these conditions.” I tapped the second page, pointing out the clause about maintaining a minimum 3.5 GPA.

“Oh, sweetie. That’s just a way to encourage you to keep your grades up and not slack off. I’m sure Aimee has the exact same contract.”

I scoffed. “Does hers stipulate that she had to become a Sig Be sister too?”

Mom giggled while passing me a pen. “That’s a privilege, Mikayla.”

“But what if I can’t do it?”

“Of course you can. Aimee’s president this year. You’re in. Don’t you realize how happy I’ll be seeing you two experiencing college together this way? It’ll make your first year so much easier having her there to support you. Now, stop fussing and sign. You’re getting yourself a world-class education for free. It’s a no-brainer.”

She made it sound so easy, yet it’s been anything but.

Frustration builds like a firestorm inside me, and I’m sure Rachel can sense my angst through the phone.

“So… what horrible things are the sorority girls making you do this week?”

I work my jaw to the side and mutter, “Some stupid thing about embarrassing a guy they don’t like.”

“Ew, really? They’re so immature.”

“I know, right?”

“I can’t believe your mom wants you to be one of them.”

“Well, you know Melanie Hyde. I’m pretty sure her life’s mission is to turn me into a mini Megan.”

“A mini her.”

“Megan is her.” I sigh. “Talk about being a black sheep.”

“I happen to love black sheep. They’re my favorite because they stand out from the rest. They’re like the badass sheep. Way cooler than those run-of-the-mill white ones.”

I grin, adjusting my bag while I listen to the world’s nicest person try to make me feel better. Lying down, I rearrange my head until the bag is as close to a comfortable pillow as I can get it.

“I guess I better let you go. Is Theo there?”

“I’m at his place.”

“You staying the night?”

I can picture the blush rising over her cheeks. She only lost her virginity to the guy a few weekends ago, and when she told me about it, she blushed so hard I thought she’d burst a blood vessel in her face.

It was kind of adorable and sounded way better than my first time. I’m happy for her, really I am. I’ve only met Theo over video chat once, but he seems like a nice enough guy, and I did love the way he kept looking at Ray—all loved-up, like she was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.

Rachel deserves that in her life.

She’s always been so quiet and shy. Never had a serious boyfriend in high school but always wanted one. She’s the girl who read romance novels and pined for true love, always crushing on the hot jocks or the sexy bad boys but never scoring one. And then Theo walked into her life about a week after I moved to Aspen and swept her right off her feet.

He’s a few years older than us and would have graduated from high school the year before we started, but I remember his dad cruising the streets in his cop car. He’s a giant of a man, and I wouldn’t say we feared him, but he wasn’t the type you’d wave to as he drove by.

It’s still early days for Rachel and Theo, but she wouldn’t have slept with the guy if she wasn’t feeling it. She told me she loves him and that he said it first, so she has no doubts about their relationship. I didn’t even know it was possible to fall in love so fast, but she tumbled like she was kayaking over a waterfall.

It makes me wonder if I’ll ever feel that strongly about someone.

If I even want it.

Love can be so… unpredictable.

It changes people. I think of how much my mother has changed since getting together with Jarrod, trying to become this perfect girlfriend and slide into this elegant rich world like she wasn’t a single mother struggling to make ends meet.

And then I think about how much I changed when the guy I loved the most walked away from me. The one who was supposed to have my back and watch me grow. The one who was supposed to tell Simon Ekland to take good care of his daughter on prom night. The one who was supposed to attend my graduation ceremony and shout, “Yeah, Mickey Blue!” while raising his hands in the air.

But he wasn’t there.

Because he left us for another woman, and I haven’t seen him since.