The Foiled Plan (War of Sins Book 2)

‘I‘m one hour away. I should be there soon.’

‘Thank you for coming on such short notice, Amo. I really appreciate it.’

‘Does Cisco know?’

‘No. And I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell him. At least not yet. I’ll talk to him soon.’

‘Fine by me,’ he says before he hangs up.

Surveying the packed bag at my feet, I take a deep breath, doing my best to keep my head high and not devolve into a crying mess.

On the inside, I’m already dead. But at least on the outside I can preserve some of my dignity.

Lovely snuggles comfortably in my arms and I hug him tighter, the heat of his body giving me a modicum of control.

Raf still hasn’t come down—likely hasn’t awakened yet.

I’d left him just as he’d fallen asleep again, and if my plan works accordingly, I won’t see him before I leave.

Maybe it’s a coward’s move, but I don’t know how I can face him again after last night. After I became so pathetic I let him use me while he was thinking I was another woman.

Instead, I wrote him a letter.

It wasn’t easy to lay out all my thoughts on paper, but I did my best. After all, I know that if I don’t do this now, it’s only going to get worse.

I’ll hold everything in until I’ll resent him and I’ll resent myself even more.

Like this, we can go our separate ways while on good terms.

I won’t have to live with the perpetual reminder that he’s not over Lucero and he won’t find out that I killed her. He won’t find out anything about the past, and he won’t look at me any differently.

Because if he ever does…

I could stand his second-hand affection. I could even stand his indifference. But his contempt would break me.

It would…annihilate me.

Total annihilation of the heart.

I scoff at the term my brother had used, because ultimately it had become the truth.

What’s worse is that now that I’m starting to remember bits and pieces of the past, I realize that they were all right.

I’m too unstable.

I am insane.

There’s no other explanation, because as it stands, I would kill Lucero again. But this time, it wouldn’t merely be a fire.

No, I would…

I shake myself. I need to get a grip on reality. But how can I when I feel so disconnected to my surroundings? When I feel like I’ve been dumped into the wilderness with no instructions and I’m fair game for everyone to take a stab at me?

Maybe I do belong in a mental facility… They would be able to figure out what’s wrong with me, wouldn’t they? Why I’ve suddenly become this stranger—this sick person that rejoices at others’ misery and doesn’t bat an eye at mass murder.

My hands are stained with blood—so much blood—and I know that when the rest of the memories will return I’ll just spiral further into madness.

He can’t know!

He can never know the extent of what I’ve done. If he finds out that he’d been right all along—that I am a murderer and that I killed his beloved… I don’t think I could bear to see the change in his regard.

He would look at me as I rightly deserve—like the deranged woman that I am—and I could never recover from that.

I can go on knowing he at least holds some affection for me. But to have him hate me?

I’d rather die.

Isn’t that terrifying? The fact that I value his opinion more than my own life.

My throat trembles with unreleased laughter about the irony of the situation.

That’s exactly why I’ve come to this decision.

I can’t be his second best. But I also can’t be his worst enemy. If I were to choose… I’d rather be a pleasant yet distant memory—like I know he’ll always be for me.

Lovely’s soft bark gets me back to the present, and I pat his head lightly, putting his leash on and getting ready to leave.

I drape my bag over my shoulder and go downstairs.

Every step I take leads me further away from him, and my insides burn at the thought.

It’s for the best…

‘Noelle! Noelle!’ His voice rings out in the house.

I’m almost at the entrance when he strides down the stairs, a crazed look on his face.

‘Thank God,’ he exhales in relief as he reaches my side. ‘Thank God, you’re ok.’

‘What are you talking about?’ I frown.

‘I woke up and there was blood and…’ his eyes widen when he sees my bag. ‘Where are you going?’ he demands sharply.

‘Amo is coming to pick me up in a bit,’ I shrug, my gaze bleak.

‘What? Why? Where are you going?’

‘I’m going to stay with him for a while,’ I simply answer.

‘Noelle, this isn’t funny,’ he rasps, his hands on his hips as he stares down at me, unabashed by his own nudity.

I will myself to seem indifferent as I ask.

‘Do you remember what happened last night?’

A guilty look crosses his face, and biting his lip, he gazes down at his feet.

‘I didn’t hurt you, did I?’ he inquires in a soft tone.

I don’t answer. He did hurt me. He hurt me more than if he had physically assaulted me.

He doesn’t take well to my silence, taking one step forward and seeking to pull me into his arms.

I flinch, my entire being rebelling at being close to him again. Without even thinking, I slap his hand aside, backing away.

‘Noelle…’ he whispers, shocked at my reaction.

I swallow hard, and taking a deep breath, I face him.

‘You lied,’ I simply state.

‘If it’s about the drug I can explain. I swear I just didn’t want you to worry…’

‘It’s not the drug,’ I cut him off, though his lack of trust in me hurts, too. I’d pondered about his high state and why he’d taken drugs in the first place. But then I remembered the hacienda and the fact that they pumped him so full of drugs I doubt he can ever be fully free of them. Still, he never once mentioned it. He never once tried to tell me that those drugs might still be an issue.

‘You lied to me, Raf. You told me you were a one woman type of man and you lied,‘ I say pointedly, my voice almost cracking with each word. I’m beginning to see that he’s lied to me about many things.

‘What…’ He regards me with confusion.

‘You’re not a one woman man,’ I add accusatorily, his promise from before still ringing in my ears. I’d believed him then. Against my better judgment and my fears, I put my trust in him.

And he betrayed it.

‘How can you be when there are two currently residing in your heart? You told me you were over her. That she was the past and I was the future. You lied,‘ I emphasize the word, biting back tears as I recall again the events of the previous night.

‘I didn’t lie to you, I swear, pretty girl. Whatever it is you’re thinking, we can talk it out. I promise you there’s no one else but you,’ there’s no trace of deceit in his tone, but I’ve already learned my lesson.

He tries to take another step towards me, but I don’t let him.

‘No. Stay there,’ I put my hand up. ‘Do you know what you called me last night?’ I ask, and for the first time I see realization seep into his face.

He looks guilty. Shocked. Aghast.

‘You called me mi luz, and you told me how much you loved me,‘ I laugh at the irony. ‘But it wasn’t me, was it?’

His cheeks color in shame.

‘It was the drugs. I’m never in my right mind when I take them,’ he tries to explain, but my ears close up. He speaks, yet I’m past listening.

I shake my head at him.

‘You never told me you loved me, Raf. Never. You found ways around it. You told me you cared about me, that you adored me. But never that you loved me,’ I pause, taking a deep breath. ‘And like an idiot, I bought it.’

‘Pretty girl, it’s not like that…’ he frowns.

‘That’s just the thing. It is like that. Do you think of her when you’re with me?’ I ask on a whisper. ‘Do you imagine it’s her when you make love to me?’

‘God, Noelle,’ he threads his fingers through his hair in frustration. ‘I swear to you it’s not like that. I told you what I had with her and what I have with you are two completely different things.’

‘Different,’ I scoff. ‘There are degrees of comparison to different. And it’s clear that you still love her, while you only care for me.’

‘That’s not true,’ he refutes my statement, moving closer. ‘I’ve never felt for her what I feel for you, Noelle. How many times do I have to tell you that?’

I squeeze my eyes shut, his excuses bruising my already broken heart even more.

‘I love you, Raf. I do. But I can’t continue knowing you’re thinking about her when you’re with me.’

‘And I’m telling you I’m not,’ he spits out, exasperated. ‘I’ve never once thought about her when I was with you. Pretty girl, you’re the only one for me, I swear.’

‘You called me her name,’ I gulp down the nausea threatening to overtake me. ‘You called me by her name while you were inside me. Do you think I can ever sleep with you again and not wonder if you’re thinking about her?’

His eyes flicker with emotion, his face pale as he listens to my words.

‘So what if you’ve never had sex with her,’ I give a dry laugh. ‘You could very well imagine it’s her you’re fucking when you come to my bed.’

‘I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. But I promise you it was the drugs. This always happens…’

‘Why? Why does it happen, Raf, if some part of you is not still hung up on her?’ I raise a brow as I dare him to answer.

He’s silent, merely looking properly chastised as he keeps trying to shorten the distance between us.

‘No. Don’t come any closer.’

‘You’re mine, pretty girl, and I’m yours. That’s the only thing that matters.’

I close my eyes, a wave of pain hitting me straight to the chest at his words.

He’s not mine, and I don’t think he’s ever been. And that hurts so damn much.

I inhale sharply, setting my severe gaze on him.

‘I’m yours and you’re mine, but you’ve never told me you loved me,’ I challenge.

‘But I do. You know I do.’

‘Tell me. Tell me you love me.’

‘I…’ he stops, blinking as he realizes his inability to spell out the word love—at least not in the same sentence with me.

This is why I hadn’t wanted a confrontation. Because every little thing he says or does just augments my pain.

‘You’re breaking my heart, Raf,’ I tell him brokenly, bringing my fist to my chest. ‘I gave you all of me. I gave you the love I’ve never shared with another and you. Broke. Me,’ I enunciate each word, banging over my heart.

Already my eyes are swimming in moisture, and I can’t stop my tears from rolling down my cheeks anymore. No matter how much I’d like to look strong, I can’t…

‘I’m so sorry, Noelle. I swear to you I didn’t mean to let you think you weren’t enough, or that I didn’t care. What I feel for you can’t be quantified. It’s so much more than words can encompass…’

I can’t help myself as I burst into laughter. He frowns, regarding me as if I’d sprouted a second head.

‘Yet you can’t even bring yourself to say love, can you?’ I shake my head, still laughing in spite of my heart breaking into even smaller pieces. ‘Why did you lead me on?’ I ask in a low voice. ‘Why did you have to give me hope to just squash it in the end?’

‘I didn’t. I never led you on,’ he counters. ‘You mean the world to me, pretty girl and I’d do anything for you. I swear to God, I’ve never lied about that.’

‘Then tell me,’ I push my chin up, taking a step forward for the first time. ‘Tell me you love me,’ I dare him, though deep down I know the outcome.

I wait.

He waits.

His Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he swallows uncomfortably, his eyes on me as his mouth opens to speak.

But the words never come.

He stares at me yet he’s unable to form the words.

I close my eyes, inhaling deeply.

Then I simply turn, walking out of the house.

‘No, no, pretty girl. Don’t!’ He yells, chasing after me.

This time, he doesn’t care about my request that he keep his distance. He crashes into me, hugging me from behind. His arms come around my waist, his chin on my shoulder as he keeps me to his side. He seeks to fit his cheek to mine, gently brushing his skin against mine.

‘Don’t leave me, please,’ he whispers in a broken voice. ‘Please don’t leave me, pretty girl. I can’t imagine life without you,’ he says raggedly, his breath on my face as he breathes heavily—almost as if he’d run a marathon.

‘Lucero’s death hit me hard, it’s true. But you… Not having you in my life would truly end me. You’re my other half, Noelle,’ he confesses, his lips against my skin.

My heart does a flip in my chest at his words. Yet in spite of his admission, I don’t find myself wavering. Not when the words from last night echo in my mind—they will probably never cease to.

‘You called her your eternal love,’ I barely manage to speak, choking on each syllable that comes out.

‘Noelle…’

‘You can’t even bring yourself to tell me you love me yet you called her your eternal love. I’m sorry, Raf, but I just don’t believe you.’

I push my hands against his arms, getting out of his hold and continuing forward. I keep my head high, simply placing one foot in front of the other.

A small thud startles me, and turning around, it’s to see Raf on his knees, tears coursing down his cheeks.

‘Please don’t leave me,’ he whispers brokenly. ‘I’ll do better. I promise I’ll do better,’ he repeats.

My own tears start falling again.

‘There is no better,’ I walk in front of him, stooping down and brushing my fingers against his cheek. ‘You can’t force feelings, Raf. I love you too much and I know I would be miserable staying with you and knowing you’d never be able to return my feelings.’

‘But I…’

I bring my finger to his lips, shushing him. I don’t want to hear any more platitudes coming from him. Not when they hurt the most.

‘I don’t want to be second best. I don’t want to always wonder if you love her more. It would be torture for both of us and we would end up resenting each other. Let’s end this while the memories are still pleasant.’

He shakes his head at me.

‘I can’t do this, Noelle. I can’t do this without you. Please… I swear to you, pretty girl,’ his voice cracks as more tears accumulate at the corners of his eyes. ‘I’ll do anything… Please, just don’t leave me.’

‘I’ll have the papers for the divorce drawn up and I’ll send them with a lawyer,’ I tell him softly. ‘I’m sorry,’ I whisper, ready to get up.

But he won’t let me.

He’s holding on to my dress, his fists wrapped in the material as he keeps on begging me to reconsider—to not leave him.

I swallow hard, his urgency slowly getting to me.

But I can’t let myself be swayed by pretty words. Not anymore.

Getting him off me, I simply bring my lips to his forehead, stunning him with the gesture.

His hands fall limply by his side as he holds himself immobile.

‘Maybe in another life you would have met me first instead of her. And maybe you would have fallen in love with me first,’ I whisper the words with a sigh.

He’s stunned to the spot as I finally get up.

Without looking back, I pick up Lovely’s leash, tugging him towards me just as I put my bag over my shoulder again. And as I walk away, step by step, I’m leaving crumbles of myself behind.

When I see Amo’s car at the gates, I simply put on a fake smile, assuring him everything is ok.

It’s not.

‘Talk to me, Noelle. What’s going on? Did that bastard do something to you?’ He asks as he spares me a glance.

I shrug, hugging Lovely to my chest as he stares out the window in wonder.

How I wish I could see the world through his eyes…

‘Nothing. I’ve realized we don’t suit each other.’

He frowns.

‘What did he do?’

‘He didn’t do anything,’ I reply, rolling my eyes. ‘Differences of personality and all that,’ I wave my hand dismissively.

Can’t my brother see I don’t want to talk? Can’t he take a clue from my tear-streaked face or the fact that my entire palm is bandaged and in pain?

‘I’ll fucking kill him,’ he mutters.

‘No. You will do nothing of the sort,’ I tell him in a stern voice.

Now he cares?

‘It’s between me and Raf. End of discussion. Now can I get some sleep? I’m a little tired.’

He purses his lips but eventually nods, leaving me alone.

My lids feel heavy, but I know I won’t be able to fall asleep.

If before I had severe issues with insomnia, now I know it will only get worse, the images in my head not likely to let me get a wink of sleep.

I’m patting Lovely’s head absentmindedly as I look out the window.

Out of nowhere, though, something collides with our car, hitting it in a T right on the driver’s side.

Reeling back, I quickly grab the top handle as the car is driven off the road.

‘Amo,’ I call out, worried since he’d been hit directly.

‘I’m fine,’ he groans, trying to get control of the car.

We move haphazardly until we hit a tree, smoke coming out of the hood of the car.

Luckily, though, we are both relatively fine.

‘Wow, that was a close call,’ I breathe out relieved when Amo tells me he’s ok.

‘Lovely is also fine,’ I let him know as I unbuckle my seatbelt, ready to get out.

I barely get to open the door to the car as the smoke makes its way inside, making me cough. Still, the sound of a gun going off is unmistakable, as is my brother’s shape as it sways in the air before hitting the ground right as he’s about to get out of the car.

‘Amo!’ I yell, bolting to go to his side.

One step, though, and I come face to face with the barrel of a gun.

‘Nice seeing you again, sweet sister-in-law,’ Michele drawls, trailing the gun down my face and positioning it under my chin. ‘I think we have a lot to catch up on, wouldn’t you say?’

I feel my way around the dark room, trying to map out my surroundings.

Michele had taken me to a foreign location an hour or so away from the accident site. To my everlasting relief, when he’d forcefully led me to his waiting car, I’d managed to see Amo still moving.

At least he’s not dead.

To say that I’ve been shocked to see Michele still alive had been an understatement. But I’m starting to find out that nothing is out of bounds with him.

It’s been two hours since he left me in this room.

There are no windows, no lights, nothing.

No doubt, he’s trying to intimidate me with the light deprivation. I almost roll my eyes at that, since it’s not going to work on me—not when I’ve had enough training at the hacienda.

I occupy my time by walking around the room, my hands on the walls as I measure the distance—anything to build an image in my head.

A while later, though, he decides to grace me with his presence.

Opening the door, he strides inside confidently, a twisted smile on his face as he regards me.

‘Ah, but that look on your face when you saw me,’ he shakes his head in amusement. ‘Priceless.’

‘Where is my dog?’ is the first thing I ask. Knowing Michele, I’m sure he would stoop so low as to hurt an innocent animal. He’s that vile.

‘Safe. For now.’ His lips pull up in a fucked up grin.

At least he hasn’t killed him. Yet.

‘What do you want with me?’ I raise a brow at him, my expression bored in an effort to show him I’m not falling for his tricks.

‘Just trying to play a little with my brother,’ he chuckles. ‘Nothing more.’

‘Well, you chose the wrong person for that,’ I grumble.

‘I’m sure,’ he laughs. ‘I’m going to have so much fun watching him flounder when he can’t save the love of his life. Maybe this time I’ll switch up the script though. Hmm, let’s see…’ he strokes his jaw pensively.

He’s not taking this seriously, that much is clear.

With faking his death and now suddenly reappearing just to mess with us, it’s quite obvious that what he wants isn’t just clear cut revenge—he could have had that on the roof. No, he wants chaos. He wants to see Raf on the brink of misery.

Not to worry, though, I don’t plan on letting him get away with it.

Raf may not be able to return my love, but that doesn’t mean mine automatically ceases to exist. I’ll love him to my dying breath, maybe even beyond.

‘You chose poorly, Michele,’ I roll my eyes at him.

‘Right,’ he scoffs. ‘Please spare me the speech that you’re not that important to him and blah blah blah,’ he brings his fingers together as he imitates a person talking. ‘I’ve watched that movie and it’s boooooring.’

‘What are you, a child?’ I mumble under my breath.

He doesn’t hear me as he goes on and on about his plan to make Raf suffer.

‘I’m sorry to rain on your parade, Mr. Baddie, but you got the wrong person,’ I give him a strained smile. ‘My husband happens to be in love with another woman.’

He raises a brow, leaning back and regarding me skeptically.

‘How convenient,’ he eventually laughs.

‘It’s true,’ I shrug. ‘So you’re quite wrong about me being the love of his life.’

‘And why should I believe you? You’d say anything to get away now,’ he narrows his eyes at me.

‘Well, imagine my surprise when my husband was fucking me and all of a sudden called me another woman’s name.’

‘Right,’ he mumbles, unconvinced. ‘Let’s say I believe you. Who is that woman?’

‘She’s dead.’

‘Well, isn’t that even more convenient? We’re done with this,’ he snaps as he takes a step towards me.

‘Her name was Lucero. He met her at the hacienda, and she died in a fire.’ I’m not sure why I’m continuing with this. It’s clear he’s not going to believe me.

‘I’m sure she did,’ he laughs. ‘I don’t care about whatever ghosts you’re inventing, Noelle. My brother cares about you, and he will no doubt care even more about what I’m going to do to you.’

My eyes flash at him.

‘What are you talking about?’ I take a step back.

‘Take off your clothes.’

‘What? No!’

‘Take off your clothes, or I will. And I won’t be as gentle,’ he smirks as he lifts up a knife, letting it glint in the dim light coming from the doorway.

My eyes skitter between him and the door, and I do a quick calculation of what would happen if I ran away. He’d catch me and…

‘Off. Now,’ he grits out angrily.