SWNOVELS Chapter Reward or Punishment?
As my heart quit beating, blackness engulfed my senses. Time slowed and then finally stopped. For an indeterminate period of time, there was a simple nothingness around me.
And then the silence was broken by laughter.
Soft, quiet little laughter that gently seemed to pull me towards it at first. As the feeling of moving in the nothingness towards the laughter increased, the sound got louder and more manically. After a bit, it no longer sounded soft and gentle, but instead came across as being wild and menacing.
Abruptly, the dark nothingness disappeared and I was surrounded by a ring of light. Floating in the center of this light was what I could only describe as a medieval style jester. It was a guy, of indeterminate age – I couldn’t really say if he looked old or young honestly – in a set of rainbow patchwork coveralls. His wrists and ankles were covered in deep purple ruffles and he had one of the fool’s hats with a dozen bells hanging from it around his face.
“HIYA!” He flipped twice in midair and the sound of bells jingling echoed in the nothingness around us.
Suddenly he disappeared from where he was floating and appeared directly in front of me and grabbed my hand and pumped it up and down enthusiastically.
“IT WENT BOOM!” He exclaimed all at once and then flipped in the air again while laughing like a madman. “POW! ZOOM! BANG!”
“IT WAS PRETTY!” He flipped. He disappeared from thin air, and then he reappeared off to the side, where he flipped and did a midair summerset all at once. Bells tinkled and jingled all around and he laughed that crazy laughter once again.
“Who… What?” I was lost. I was dead, and yet I was here before this…
What the hell was I standing in front of any way?!
Was this an angel? God?
“WHOZAWHATZA TO YOU TOO!” The Flipping Fool, as I’m going to refer to it, for now, disappeared and reappeared in front of me and just suddenly kissed me square on the lips!
“I LIKES YOU!” It told me as it disappeared and fireworks burst all around us.
He, it, something liked me? Just what the hell was going on here?!
“Uhm… That’s good, I guess.”
“IT IS! IT IS GOOD, ISN’T IT!” The Flipping Fool floated up and down five or ten feet in the air in agreement. “GUESS WHAT! GUESS! GUESS!” He was enthusiastically shouting and spinning as he floated up and down in thin air.
“Umm…” This damn fool was hard to follow. Even while dead, just trying to keep up with it was making me dizzy. “What?”
“O…” He just suddenly stopped floating and crashed down with a loud ring of bells and flopped as if he’d hit a floor which I couldn’t see or feel.
“That’s just mean!” He pouted at me and pooched his lower lip out where it quivered. It almost looked as if The Flipping Fool was going to cry.
“Wha?” What the heck did I do?!
“You guessed it.” He was definitely pouting.
“Guessed what?” I was lost.
“EXACTLY!” He flew up and down and stomped his feet a few times on nothing. “You really are a meanie-weenie, aren’t you?”
And then all at once he burst out in laughter and spun around with fireworks flying out of his ass while the sound of bells tinkling rung like temple gongs all around us. “AND THAT’S WHY I LUVS YOU!!”
“Since ya’s done guessed what, then I suppose all that’s left is the reward!” He disappeared and reappeared in front of me and kissed me again on the lips.
“Reward?” What the hell was going on!
“Uh huh! I just wanted to watch all the pretty lights go round and round on the car thingies, and listen to the pretty wooo woooo woooo they make, but you made it better! It went boom! And bing! And zing! And colors went WHOOSH! It was PURTY!” He disappeared and reappeared several times , blinking left and right around me.
“And besides, it’ll be fun to steal you from that old stuffy-duffy of your peoples! He’s so dull and boring and stupid. Just one place for good people and then a stupid old lake of fire for the bad? BORE BORE BORING!!” The Flipping Fool bent over and flames shot from his ass towards the sky as a loud farting sound echoed in the nothingness.
“NANNER NANNER! STUPID OLE GODDY GOD CAN’T STOP ME!” He spun. He twirled. He disappeared. Fireworks erupted all around. He reappeared and kissed me once more.
This time, when his lips moved away from mine, the nothingness and everything in it disappeared. Pain flooded my body and I found myself being held in two gigantic hands.
“Zifwa ka Boota!”, came to my ears and hurt them. A sudden ringing pain stuck my ass and I cried out.
The sound I made was weak and feeble – it was a baby’s pitiful cry.
I had been reborn!