The Fallen Ascending 01 -- Rebirth

The next few years were a time of growth, freedom, and nervousness for me. As I got stronger, I was able to wander farther and explore the limits of the island that I lived on. I could now understand why my parents allowed me so much freedom – the whole isle was surrounded by a massive thirty-meter wall which separated the land from the ocean! Apparently, having two moons could produce some massive variance in the tides on the planet here, and the wall was there to protect the island proper from the ocean.

It also served to protect a young child of wandering off and getting into too much trouble.

My first few years of life, the girls on the island all followed me around and made certain that I wasn’t going to fall and hurt myself or anything, but as I got older they started giving me more freedom and letting me roam and explore on my own. There was a small patch of woods on the north side of the island and I could go there and do my own thing sometimes without anyone being around, but I always had to be careful as the young women had just as much freedom to roam as I did.

And, I was beginning to want to be alone more. One thing I’d discovered about myself before I turned three is that I could feel the energy mother talked about in her lessons with the youngest girls. Apparently, magic is something truly rare for a male to have, and I wasn’t entirely certain how well it might be accepted. I was afraid this was a world where only women use magic, and I didn’t want anyone to catch me using it.

So thus my nervousness. I’d discovered something great and powerful that any person would want to learn to use, and I was too scared to let anyone catch me using it. Every time I could sneak away to the forest, I’d try to find some dark little private corner of it, and then I’d practice my mother’s lessons in private. Breathe in. Breathe out. In some ways, the meditation reminded me of yoga or something similar from Earth, so I tried to incorporate as much of my old knowledge into things as my new knowledge. Mother’s way worked, but I was curious if I could find a way to make it work better.

All without anyone finding out, of course.

By the time I was four, people had gotten used to me wandering off on my own. My father simply assumed I was going out to play soldier or something in the forest and slay imaginary monsters that lurked in the woods, so that’s what I did whenever someone seemed to be around. I felt foolish hacking at a bush with my sword while pretending to slay a dragon or some other horrible beast, but it seemed to be what people expected from a child so I went along with it.

And then, when I was alone, I practiced pulling in the energy of the forest around me and holding it as long as I could before releasing it. Over time, I learned to sense the ground, the air, and even the sunlight as my mother kept trying hard to teach her students to do. By expanding my senses and focusing on the energy around me, I always had ample warning of whenever anyone was approaching. They might be able to sneak up on my elsewhere, but not in the forest.

The forest was becoming my refuge, and I was becoming its master day by day.

By the time I was five, I had taught myself enough to focus the energy around me and to start to manipulate my environment. I could make the trees bloom and produce fruit for me. I could move the earth and shift it to make walls or holes. I learned to channel the energy of the earth to dig myself tunnels where I could burrow into the ground and practice in peace, without having to worry about who might wander along.

I can’t say that my growth was comparable to the girls which mother taught, but I was happy with the way I was progressing. After all, they were all at least twice my age, and I had years to build up my strength and talent. They usually only had five years with Mother. I was going to have a whole lot more than that to take in her lessons and grow at my own pace.

I wasn’t going to be just some overweight fool this time around who killed everyone instead of protecting them. In this life, I planned to watch my weight, grow into a respectable, hardworking person, and I was going to make up for all the death and destruction I’d caused previously. I wanted to be something – someone – respectable this time around, and I really think I was growing as a wizard so I could strive towards my goal.

That is, up until I turned five – that’s when Father decided I was old enough to start learning the true ways of the sword from him!

Suddenly, every day was spent with me being pulled out to the practice field where him and a few of the ‘battle wizards’ practiced, and he tried to teach me to use a sword. Part of me felt like I was wasting my time with a blade, but I still practiced diligently with him every morning. I felt as if I owed it to him.

For all I knew, I’d killed their actual child when I was born. After all, I wasn’t growing in mother’s womb for nine months before she had me. Was I? If they already had conceived a child, what happened to it when The Flipping Fool put me in her instead? Did it die? Was it my fault? Did I have one more death on my head to account for?

I didn’t know, and I could never be certain, so I felt that I owed it to both of them to try my best to live up to their expectations. They called me their child, and I wanted to be the best child possible for them, so thus I diligently tried to learn the sword when father taught it to me.

And, amazingly enough, I was good at it. In fact, I was damn good at it! Father said I was naturally gifted and that if I continued to practice with him, he thought I could become a blademaster by the time I turned thirteen. To be honest, I’m not entirely certain what a blademaster is, but it seemed important to him so I promised I’d try my best.

My important time to sit in, loaf around, and listen to mother’s lectures was greatly reduced. My precious time where I could sneak off and try to work magic on my own in the forest was harder to find now as well. I was learning to become a swordsman, whether I really wanted to be one or not, but at least I was making my parents proud.

The only good thing I can honestly say I’m grateful for, with Father teaching me the sword at the time, is that I met the first love of my life thanks to him.

De’Nara was a beautiful new student at the school and had a sparkling laugh which lit up all around her. She was only twelve but already was showing the signs of a beautiful woman in the making with a set of fine athletic curves, and she was one of those rare girls who spent as much time learning under father as she did under mother. De’Nara was training hard to become what she referred to as a ‘war wizard’, and she was a true inspiration to me.

Every day, she was out there with me, going through the same grueling training which father expected from all his students. He worked her to the point of near exhaustion – harder than the rest of the girls from what I could tell – and yet she never complained. Every day she thanked him for his teachings and then she went to lunch where she was so tired she could barely eat. And, after lunch, she went back out to mother’s side of the field and spent her whole evening working just as hard to try and master magic itself.

It seemed to me that both my parents expected more from her, and demanded more from her than they did everyone else. If I would’ve been in her shoes, I would’ve exploded, but she never did. She was also one of Father’s favorites and a lot of times in the evening he would take her out to the picnic area around the side of the building and give her extracurricular lessons in pleasing a man.

Compared to the training hell that she endured every day, my own hardships were nothing. Just seeing her handle everything and never once complain gave me a lot of strength and resolve to push myself even harder. She was a beautiful girl of peerless strength and spirit, and she treated me as a friend and an equal even though I was less than half her age.

She completely stole my heart. It may sound foolish since there was absolutely no way for there to be any real intimacy between us, but it’s the truth. De’Nara was my first love in this new world, and foolish or not, she’ll always have a special place in my heart.

Whenever I got a chance, I started spending as much time as possible with her. I sat by her side during meals. I often walked beside her whenever I had free time, and even though I may have been adding to her burden, she became just about the only girl whom I ever bathed with or groped anymore. I spent as much time as possible with her, and whenever I had a question about magic, I asked her in a roundabout way about the problem. I claimed that it was to help her ‘with her own studies’, but honestly, it was with my own growth.

If it wasn’t for her, I don’t know if I could have held out and continued with the grueling regime which I set to my own training. But, since she was there and an inspiration for me, I endured!

Early mornings were mealtime, followed by intense training and physical endurance exercises with father, De’Nara, and a few of the other girls who rotated in and out of the training schedule. Only De’Nara was there every morning with us. After training with father, we had lunch, which neither of us had the energy to eat. A lot of times we just sat and softly chewed some soupy bread and sprawled out under the sun somewhere to rest.

After lunch, De’Nara went off to study with mother and I had ‘general lessons’ which I had to endure. Sometimes father would teach me, sometimes one of the other girls would come and teach. I had to learn to read and write several languages, and speak several of them. I endured lessons of ranks, houses, lands, and politics. I had to learn etiquette, dancing, taxes, and even the laws of many different places.

My afternoons were spent in the endless boring study of the things which a young noble of the world was supposed to know – and we’re not even noble! My parents just happen to be teachers at their own little island academy. But, I was still expected to learn so that I wouldn’t embarrass them whenever I went out in the world.

At least, that’s what they claim. I honestly don’t think anything could embarrass mother. If I got caught making love to a goat, she’d simply smile and say something like ‘Men will be men, and that man is my son – is there a problem?’ And, if there was, I think she’d simply melt someone into goo and then the problem would go away…

All I can say is Mother is simply Mother. She’s unique in this world.

Father on the other hand probably wouldn’t be very embarrassed either. If anything, he’d be pouty that I didn’t invite him to join in. He really is a creepy perverted geezer!

But, he’s still my father and I have to love him. If anyone has a problem with that, I’ll just have to figure out how to turn them into goo like Mother does and make the problem go away…

After ‘general studies’, it was time for supper which I always eat with De’Nara. She was completely exhausted usually, but she always forced down a meal in the evenings no matter what. I think some of the other girls would’ve given her some trouble by picking on her since they were jealous of all the attention she was receiving from mother and father, but they didn’t dare do anything while I was around. After all, a young child like me, I might tattle anytime on them, and no one wanted to face my parent’s wrath on the island.

After supper, we’d often try and find a spot out of the way somewhere to just sit and relax together and watch the sun set and the two moons come up. Some evenings father would catch her and De’Nara would have extra ‘chores’ to finish before she could take a bath or shower, and other days we could just relax for a while.

After the sun changed the sky red, and the first moon rose, we went to the bathing area and helped wash each other clean. She scrubbed me just as much as I scrubbed her, and day by day, De’Nara wiggled herself deeper into my heart. I’m afraid she probably thought of me as either a nuisance, or perhaps a little brother, but she never complained – and I’ll always be eternally grateful for the kindness she showed me during that time.

And after our baths, we went our separate ways. Once I was up in the privacy of my own room, there’s where I stayed up late every night and practiced my magic as much as possible. Often it was passed midnight before I collapsed into a dreamless sleep of exhaustion on the bed. I was learning to shape stone, to heat metals, produce flame and water, and over time, I even learned to shape iron and steel with my magics.

Those five years with De’Nara went by in the blink of an eye, and my heart broke when it was time for her to graduate on leave us. She’ll always be my first love, and there’ll always be a special place in my heart for her.