The Falcon Ridge Series Book 1 She's Not For You

MICHAEL

I'm sweating fucking bullets. My hands are clammy and my mouth is dry. I'm dead. This is it. This Alpha is going to rip me apart, I can feel it.

I can hear the voices inside. One's Rivers and one is deep, low, and downright scary. They're arguing about me. I can hear the murder in his voice. My chest hurts and I’m fucking scared. I don't blame him. If I wasn't such a coward, I probably would have done it myself. I'm the worst possible monster the shifter world could ever have. I sentenced my own people to death just to get laid. What kind of sick fuck does that? Me, that's who.

I just hope I'll get the chance to make it right before they kill me. I need to make this right. Not for me. I'm not trying to clear my conscience, but for my people. For Anna and River. I need to save them before it's too late.

As I'm led into the office, I'm met with cold, dark eyes. The guy looks like River, but all Alpha. My wolf instantly fell to his back behind my ribs. I feel his submission and fully agree.

I can feel Alpha Blake’s anger from here. Before this, I couldn’t give two shits about the guy, but now it’s like I drove a knife right into the heart of my own father. It’s got to be the guilt.

"Mr. Dorian." His eyes glare at me.

Anna has my arm in her hand. She gives it a squeeze like she can sense my fear. Letting me know she's right here with me. I relax a little.

"Alpha Blake, I..." I was met with his raised hand, cutting me off.

"Sit." He orders.

I walk over to the chair in front of his desk and Anna takes the chair beside me. Lacing her fingers into mine, giving another squeeze. River is leaning on a table just off to the side.

I lower my head. Not wanting to look at the anger filling the Alphas face. I can feel River’s eyes digging a goddamn crater in my head. I feel the weight of the room on my chest.

We sit in silence for a moment and then Blake speaks. "You're a lucky man. If it wasn't for our Anna here, you'd be in a different room right now awaiting your hearing." He grumbles.

I don’t dare show my eyes. I just nod my head. Anna gives another squeeze.

He leans on his desk. "I don't think I have to tell you how serious this is."

I shake my head no.

"Raise your head, son." He commands.

I slowly raised my head to meet the Alphas powerful gaze. I swallow the growing lump in my throat. My wolf cowers in the corner of my ribs.

"My son says you have information that's useful to us." He leans back in his chair.

I glance at River, who nods his head. I turn back to the Alpha.

"Yes, sir. I believe I do." I stare him straight in the eye.

He waves me to continue.

I clear my throat and sit up straight. "The guy I was in contact with told me that the security unit is paid off. All the way up. He knows me. He knows I have no affiliation with the unit and border and knows how much I hate them.” I glance around the three faces. “Please, I know I have zero credibility here, but you gotta believe me. The guys weren't lying. He was bragging about it."

He leaned forward again, glaring. "You sold your people out to steal my son's woman. Why should I believe you?"

I shake my head. "I know what I did. I'm not going to make excuses for myself. I'll take anything that comes my way. No fighting, no complaints. But, please. I just want to save as many lives as possible. If I can do that before I die..."

Anna squeezes my hand again and glances in my direction.

Blake slowly nods his head. "You'll definitely not get out of this. What you did...but you have confirmed what I've suspected for a long time now."

River's brow furrowed. "Dad?"

He turns to River and nods. "You heard me. I've suspected that some of the Security heads were involved with the Dragons. Along with some on the Council."

River crosses his arms. "Who?"

"Alpha Jacobs, for one." He looks to River.

"Zekes dad? No way." River shakes his head.

Blake reaches in a drawer and pulls out an envelope. "I didn't want to believe it either, but then there were the secret meetings, voting down actions related to the Dragons, the phone calls." He tossed the envelope across the desk toward River. "Then a few weeks ago, I was informed of a meeting. I had a private Intel unit go and stake it out. They came back with these."

River grabs the envelope and pulls out its contents. Three 8x10 photos.

Blake continues. "The first are known Dragons. The second is Alpha Jacobs. The third..."

River's eyes widen. They fill with anger and disbelief. His hands start to shake as he grips the photo.

Anna looks at him. "River? What is it?"

He raises his eyes to Anna, not saying word. His jaw ticks as he flips the photo over to show her.

Her eyes widen. "Zeke." She whispers.

I look at River. "Dude."

River throws the photos across the room. "Damn it!" He yells. He pushes himself off the table and starts to pace with a hand on his hip and the other scrubbing his face. He turns to his father with understandable anger. "Why didn't you fucking tell me?!" He yells, throwing a hand out to the side.

Blake stood. "Son, I had to know if what we learned was true or not. He's your best friend, I didn't want to ruin that with false accusations, but given Mr. Dorian's confession, I know now, that it's true."

River glared at his father. "This whole time, dad?! This whole time, this fucking guy was around Anna! You don't keep shit like that from me! Especially when she is concerned!"

Anna jumped up and stepped in front of River. Placing her hands on his chest. "Baby, it's fine. Nothing happened. What's important is we know now. Okay?"

It's amazing how her touch and voice seemingly soothes him. I watch as River's anger seems to die down. He blows out a breath. "Yeah." He wraps an arm around her neck and kisses her forehead. “Yeah, ok.”

In that moment, I realize how grievous my actions were. I was a fool to try and take Anna from him. I don’t know if it’s like a curtain’s been lifted or someone flicked a damn light on, but suddenly I see River’s feelings for her. Really see them. No one can love her like that. Not even me. In this moment, it’s clear, she’s not for me.

River looks to his dad. "What's the plan?"

Blake sits back down behind his desk and turns to me. "Who's this contact of yours?"

I glance at Anna. "Adrian Collins."

"Adrian?" She lets go of River and takes strides to me. Blake’s anger scared me. Anna’s disappointment crushed me like a bug. "Adrian? Are you out of your mind? Michael."

I look at her with regret all over my face. "I know. I know. Anna, I'm sorry."

River puts his hand on Anna's arm. Turning her to him. "Who's Adrian Collins?"

She wraps her arms around herself. "Ex border. He sold his team out for money. In total, five agents were killed. David was almost one of them." She turned back to me. "Michael, how could you?"

River glares at me. "You really have some scumbag friends, don't you?"

"Hey." I shoot him a look. "Sometimes it's good to have scumbags like Adrian in your back pocket."

River drops his arms, hands turning into fists. He pushes past Anna. "Yeah! Is this one of those times! Is it Mike?!" He yelled as Anna held him back.

"Enough!!" Blake yells, putting a growl behind it. We all flinch as Blake throws out his Alpha tone.

"Mr. Dorian. Can you contact this Adrian again?"

I nod. "Yeah, but I don't see..." Blake cuts me off again.

"We need Intel. Since this is who you chose to enact this plan of yours, it seems like he'd be the person to get things like numbers and who's involved, don't you think?" Blake raises a brow.

I get what he's saying. "You want to interrogate him. Won't his disappearance tip off the Dragons?"

He nods. "It might, but the Dragons are so cocky, one member disappearing might not matter. We have a real chance here. There's also a really good chance Torrent himself will show up. Caledon is a prize he's sure not to lose."

River crossed his arms. "What do we do about the unit?"

Blake shakes his head. "Nothing. We need to act normal. We can't let any of them know that we know. When the times right, we'll nail them. Until then, we need them to continue believing they have the upper hand."

River sighs. "I don't know if I can do that, dad."

"You have to, son. This whole thing won't work if it's found out. Now, I know a few I know I can trust. During this time, until the ball, we'll flush out the moles. At least at the top. The bottom members will be taken care of after. You and Anna must not tip Zeke off." His voice held dire warning.

River nodded. "Okay."

Anna turned to my dad. "Alpha, what about Michael?" She looked at me concerned.

He rubbed his forehead. "He'll have to stay here for the time being. We don't need you ending up dead. But..." He points a finger at me. "Any more problems from you and you'll find yourself in a cell faster than you can blink."

I nod. "No, sir. You'll have no problems from me, I swear. Thank you."

"Don't thank me, thank Anna. I wanted to kill you myself." He raised a brow.

Again, I swallow nervously.

"Now go. All of you. I have some calls to make." He shoos us out.

We leave the office with River in front. I grab his arm and stop him in the hallway. "River, thanks. For, you know...everything."

"I'm doing this for Anna. Don't get too comfy here. Once this is over, you're headed for trial and I'll have a front row seat." He fires a look of death my way and turns, leaving me at the top of the stairs.

Anna came up behind me. She places a hand on my shoulder. "He'll come around...I hope." We exchange looks like we can wish, but it's doubtful I'll ever get a break.

Not like I even deserve one.

****

Anna escorts me back to my room. She tells me dinner is in an hour and that I'm invited to sit with them. Of course, I refuse. The Caledon Pack Murderer wouldn't exactly be a welcomed dinner guest. So, I thank her and tell her I'll take dinner here.

She leaves and now I'm left with my thoughts. Thoughts of my impending doom. Scenarios of what will happen if we fail. It’s a horror show in my brain. I can't believe I let myself get to this point.

Before all this, I was a fairly good border agent. Just patrolling my border. Doing my civic duty. How did I let my insanity take me this far? I couldn't just accept that fate dealt me a bad hand with Anna. Couldn't just move on like any normal person, no.

I had to lose my fucking mind.

Now, I've put hundreds, if not thousands of people in danger. All because I couldn’t believe what was right in front of me.

I walk over to the window of my room three stories up. I open it, lean on the ledge and look down at the ground below. If I didn't want to try and make things right, I'd take care of the monster within me right now. I lower my guilt ridden head and close the window back up, backing away.

I don't know how this will all go down, but I know I'll go down knowing that I at least tried to correct my wrongs.

I'll show Anna that the man she knew, before all this, was still in here somewhere. I'll show her that she can at least be proud of me for however long I have left on this planet.

I laid in bed. I'm scared, I won't lie. Do I want to die? Not really. Do I deserve it? Yes. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't.

My thoughts are broken by a soft knock on the door.

I sit up. "Come in."

Anna opens the door and pokes her head in. "I brought food." She kicks the door open and walks in with tray full of a mouth-watering steak, steamed veggies and a heaping pile of potatoes. As well as a beer. "Hungry?" She smiles.

"Starving." I drool.

She sets the tray down on the small table that's in my room.

She sits and watches me eat. I pop a piece of steak in my mouth and melt. "This is so good." I say with my mouthful and stuff another piece in my mouth.

She giggles. "I'm glad you like it."

"You know..." I say as I swallow my food. "I never thought I'd see the day where you live in a pack house. First the security unit, now Luna...." I shake my head and shove veggies in my mouth.

"I know." She sighs. "It's so surreal. It happened so fast. Some days I still feel like it's a dream or something and I'm going to wake up to my old, horrible life."

I stop eating and look at her in mid chew.

She realizes how her words came out. "Oh, not you. I didn't mean...."

I wave it off. "It's fine. I knew what you meant."

"Michael. I don't know what happened to you. I wish things were different. If things go the way I hope, I want you to know, I'm not giving up on you. Regardless, of how River feels. I need you to know, I don't hate you. I want you to know, that although I'm disappointed, I don't think you're evil. Things look dark right now, but I promise, if things go well, I'll help you find your light." She sat there playing with her fingers on the table.

I swallow. "Thank you, Anna, but we both know, there's no saving me. I'm as evil as they come. I can't take it back. I can't make people forget. I will always be evil. I appreciate the faith, but you're wasting it on me."