SWNOVELS : Chapter 11
“so, you were just . . . stuck?”
Parker’s expression is equal parts horrified and intrigued—his brow furrowed in thought as he leans across the table in the hospital cafeteria.
“Basically,” I confirm. “Honestly, I assumed that part had been mostly exaggerated in the biology textbooks, but it’s pretty much exactly how it sounds.”
Parker’s face screws up like I’ve just told him that I spontaneously lay eggs. “And what the hell did you do during that time? Play checkers?”
“No.” I laugh. “We just went to sleep afterward. I’ll say this for Noah, he really knows how to wear a girl out.”
“How could you possibly go to sleep like that?”
“You know, it’s weirdly comforting? Like that best kind of after-workout sleep.”
“So he gets his rocks off, and then it just . . . swells up like a balloon.”
“That’s one way to put it, I guess.” I smile around a bite of my flatbread. “Had me feeling like a bottle of wine.” Parker cocks an eyebrow in question, and I grin mischievously. “Corked,” I clarify.
He makes a sound of disgust. “You’re heinous.”
“That’s what they tell me,” I laugh.
He shakes his head as he turns his attention to his lunch, stabbing his salad with gusto. “I still can’t believe you had sex with Noah fucking Taylor.”
“At least I’ve given validity to your constant abuse of his name.”
“Hilarious.” I frown as I turn my neck, and Parker cocks his eyebrow at me. “What?”
I shake my head. “Just a little stiff. Maybe I slept wrong.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to say,” Parker scoffs.
I grin, rolling my shoulders to shake out the weird tightness I’ve been feeling this morning. “Oh no. That part was absolutely right.”
He rolls his eyes, pointing his fork at me. “Have you even thought about how weird this is going to make things?”
I make a face as I chew. “Why would it be weird?”
“You went to school two times longer than I did,” he huffs. “You’re supposed to be smart.”
“Wow, thanks.”
“I’m just saying. You already had a weird web of lies going on with this guy, and now on top of that, you’ve thrown sex into the mix. And with an alpha! What happened to you being worried he’d stake some wolfy claim on you?”
“I think maybe I overinflated the issue in my head,” I tell him with a shrug. “Noah seems fine.”
“Uh-huh.” Parker hmphs. “I’m sure the newly unsuppressed alpha is just peachy after knotting his first omega.”
“Can you keep your voice down? You might as well stand up on the table and start shouting about Noah’s dick.”
A body dropping into the chair beside me gives me a start, and I tense until I spot a grinning Priya settling at our table. “Oh, are we talking about Noah’s dick?”
She leans in excitedly as she sets her tray on the table, tucking her dark tresses behind her ear and looking like we have a present she wants to open.
“No,” I assert quickly, shooting Parker a look to let him know this is all his fault. “We weren’t.”
“Oh, come on,” Priya whines. “You can’t rob me of the good stuff. I’ve already missed out on a forever’s worth of stories.”
“We were just saying how silly all the gossip is,” I offer nonchalantly, keeping my attention on my food. “I’ve heard all kinds of nonsense this week.”
Priya nudges me conspiratorially. “About Noah’s dick?”
Honestly, I can’t say that’s a lie. I’ve definitely walked into a couple of rooms to whispers about the possible mechanics of my fake mate’s equipment. But then again, I guess now I can confirm the curiosity is more than valid.
“Among other things,” I mutter.
“Well, I heard that you got a visit down in the ER today from your hubby,” Priya practically sings.
Parker pauses midbite. “Wait, what?”
“It’s not a big deal,” I say flippantly.
“Not what I heard,” Priya tuts. “Jessica from Radiology told me that you guys were making out in the hallway.”
“Seriously,” I huff. “Who the fuck is Jessica from Radiology, and why is she always reporting on me?”
“It’s not just her,” Priya tells me. “They were buzzing about it all the way up in Anesthesiology. My tech mentioned it after an epidural.”
“It’s barely been an hour,” I grumble. “People need better things to do than gossip about Noah and me.”
“Okay,” Parker chimes in. “But why exactly didn’t you start with this when you sat down? Making out with Noah in the hall is pretty noteworthy.”
“We didn’t make out,” I say with a shake of my head. “He just kissed me.”
“And you don’t think that’s weird?”
Priya cocks her head. “Why would that be weird? They’re mated, right?”
“Right,” I say through slightly gritted teeth, narrowing my eyes at Parker. “There’s nothing weird about that.”
Parker matches my expression as he stabs at his salad and shoves a bite into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully as he shrugs. “I just meant he didn’t ever kiss you in the hallway before.”
I know what he means, even if Priya doesn’t—but I can’t exactly tell Parker that Noah was simply playing his part when Priya is sitting right next to us.
“He’s probably just happy he doesn’t have to pretend anymore,” Priya ventures. “Must be nice to have an alpha who can’t keep his hands off you for a whole day.”
I make a face, quickly masking it as Parker meets my eyes with one cocked this is what I’m saying brow. I roll my eyes, looking away from him. It’s not like the kiss meant anything. He was only doing it for—
“And poor Liam,” Priya tuts. “He must be so crushed to find out you’re mated.”
My nose wrinkles. “Wait, what does Liam have to do with anything?”
“Jessica said he looked like a kicked puppy when he was telling her about the kiss.”
“Wait,” I cut in. “Liam told Jessica from Radiology? Why?”
“Mackenzie,” Priya says with a shake of her head. “You gotta know that dude has been half in love with you for like six months.”
“What?” I snort in disbelief. “No he hasn’t.”
“Actually, I’m pretty sure that’s true,” Parker adds. “I’ve seen the guy laugh at your jokes.”
I frown. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“They’re pretty terrible jokes,” Parker says matter-of-factly.
“Oh, fuck off,” I scoff.
“I can’t believe you didn’t know this,” Priya says. “Like, I’m pretty sure everyone from floors two to six knows about it. At least.”
I consider this, scanning back through my interactions with Liam and trying to find any validity to what they’re claiming. I mean, sure, I would consider us good friends, but I can’t think of anything to suggest he’s been quietly pining after me. I cringe, thinking about how awkward that kiss must have been for him. It had been so out of the blue, after all, given that Noah had practically dragged me away from Liam to reach me and right into his—
I pause with my hand suspended halfway between the table and my mouth, the straw in my drink dangling uselessly only inches from my mouth. Is it possible that Noah kissed me because Liam had been there? I mean, he’d seemed a little weird from the moment he happened upon the pair of us, but at the time I had just assumed he’d had a bad run-in and was annoyed he couldn’t give me the lowdown on it.
But that’s silly. Noah doesn’t have any reason to start getting all jealous and territorial. Especially not after one night of admittedly mind-blowing sex. Unless . . . Surely all of those stories about alpha behavior are bullshit, right? There’s no way that Noah would do a one-eighty after one night.
I shake my head, taking an aggressive slurp from my straw as Parker and Priya’s chatter fades back in from where I’d stopped listening.
“I think it’s really cute,” Priya is saying.
I look up at her. “What is?”
“Noah going all soft now that everyone knows you’re mated.”
The more juvenile part of my subconscious snorts; after last night, I’m pretty sure there isn’t anything soft about Noah.
“I think it’s weird,” Parker grumbles.
Priya rolls her eyes. “You’re just jealous. You need a cute boy and a massage, dude.”
“I have a cute boy,” Parker says smugly.
Priya’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh my God, you guys have been holding out so much good gossip. Who is it? How cute are we talking?”
“Do you remember the instructor from that time you went with us to hot yoga?”
“Yeah,” Priya grimaces. “I will not be doing the sweaty yoga ever again, thank you very much. Instructor was definitely yummy though. Wait.” Her mouth drops open. “No. He’s gay?”
“Mhm.” Parker grins. “My massages are well taken care of for the foreseeable future.”
Priya hmphs. “You guys suck. My last date took me to a drive-in porn movie. In 3D! We sat there for forty-five minutes watching stuff splatter against the big screen.”
“Wait,” I say. “Why do I want to try that?”
Parker snorts. “You would.”
“Trust me,” Priya scoffs. “Count yourselves lucky to be off the market.”
Parker and I share another look, and I know that if Priya wasn’t sitting here with us, he’d probably be ranting at me again about the irrationality of my actions lately, but my mind is already delving back down into the spiral that is: Why did Noah kiss me earlier? Had it really been him simply adding another layer to our ruse, or had it been sparked by something else?
I don’t know what confuses me more: Noah’s possible reasons or the fact that I hadn’t even thought twice about it until now.
“I’ve got to run,” Priya tells us, throwing the wrapper for her sandwich onto her tray along with her napkin. “I’ve got an intubation in a half hour.” She points at us both, giving us a stern look. “I expect more hot goss when I see you two again. I’m now officially living vicariously through you.”
To his credit, Parker waits until she’s out of sight to start in on me. “He kissed you?”
“Don’t even start.”
“That didn’t strike you as odd?”
“I told you. He was just playing the part.”
Although, I’m even second-guessing that now. Not that Parker needs to know that.
“I’m just worried about you,” he says with a sigh. “I don’t want you catching feelings for some guy who’s going to jet off to Albuquerque in a few weeks and leave you high and dry.”
I shake my head, making an indignant sound. “That’s not going to happen.”
“Famous last words,” he mutters.
I roll my eyes, grateful when Parker becomes focused on his phone seconds later since it gives me a moment alone with my thoughts. I can see why my friend would be concerned, given that supposedly Noah and I being together is supposed to be some grand, destined thing—but outside of a spectacular night of sex, there’s absolutely nothing that has changed about our original arrangement. Kiss or no kiss. Reading too much into this is just going to give me an unnecessary headache. Best just to pack it away.
I pop the last bite of my flatbread in my mouth, staring at a blank spot on the cafeteria wall as an indeterminable number of seconds tick by. I reach to rub my neck as that same tightness sets off again, a prickling following after that I ignore as my mind wanders.
But why did he kiss me?
The hall where his office is located is decidedly empty this late in the afternoon, and part of me worries that I might have missed him. He would have at least let me know he was leaving, surely. Then again, why would he? Despite my assurances that nothing about our relationship—or rather, our fake relationship—would change after one night . . . For some reason little things like this are a bit blurry to me.
My skin feels a little clammy, like I’m about to break out in a sweat, and I chide myself quietly for being so worked up about something so small. Surely it’s fine that I’m coming to see him. There’s nothing weird about that.
I knock lightly at his office door, hearing his quiet answer only a second after. I turn the knob to crack the door and peek around it, finding Noah bent over his desk and glaring at his laptop.
“Hey,” I greet tentatively. “You busy?”
His expression changes when he looks up at me, his frown turning up to more of a neutral shape and the wrinkle at his brow softening.
“Hey. I’m not busy.”
I grin, nodding toward the screen that seems to be currently offending him as I step inside of his office and close the door behind me. “Could have fooled me.”
“Documenting some procedure notes. I let myself get behind.”
I make a face. “Yikes.”
“Yeah. I’ll be working late, but I should be able to get caught up tonight, at least.”
“There goes our romantic dinner,” I tease.
His eyebrows shoot up. “Did you want to get dinner?”
Oh, Jesus. I forgot who I’m talking to. I make a mental note not to make any more dumb jokes that insinuate there’s something romantic between us.
“No, no. Sorry, I was just being funny.”
“Oh.”
Now he looks mildly disappointed. What the hell?
Things feel awkward all of a sudden, and I can’t wrestle down why. Or rather, I can, I’m just not sure if I should address the fact that he was inside me less than twenty-four hours ago or if we should just keep that sort of talk behind closed doors. I suppose it depends on whether or not I want to do it again. More importantly . . . if he does.
Jesus, I feel flushed just thinking about this. What happened to not letting things get complicated?
“So our little hallway incident apparently sparked some new gossip.”
“Oh.” He looks down at his desk. “Sorry about that.”
“No, that’s what we want, right?”
“Right. Of course.”
I shuffle my weight from one foot to the other, telling myself that I should probably leave it alone but still feeling a little addled by all the questions I’ve rustled up in my head. I clear my throat as I go for casual, turning to make it seem as if I’m very interested in Noah’s diploma hanging on the wall.
“Are you okay?”
I hear his chair creak as he most likely turns it in my direction. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug nonchalantly. “You just seemed like something was bothering you earlier.”
“Ah. Well.” I hear him blow out a rush of air. “Had a run-in with Dennis.”
“The bitter bitch again?”
I catch Noah’s same barely-there grin when I turn my head just enough to look at him from the corner of my eye. “Yes.”
“What did he say?”
“He’s apparently decided to be less overt with his distaste for me. Evidently, now he’s comfortable making dick remarks in front of mutual patients.”
I turn to face him, my mouth falling open. “He didn’t.”
“I doubt the patient picked up on what was going on, but I sure as hell did.”
“Do you want me to kick his ass?”
Noah makes a face. “What?”
“I’m just saying. I feel like I could pull an ‘enraged mate’ card and get away with it.”
His smile widens then, and my stomach does something funny, like a swooping motion.
“It’s fine,” he assures me. “I can handle him.”
“I was just surprised that you came down to my floor again.”
“I . . .” He sighs, scratching the back of his neck. “I guess I can’t lie and say I haven’t been a little off today.”
“Off?”
He gestures between us. “About you and me. I guess I expected . . .” He breathes in just to blow it out. “I guess I needed to make sure we were okay.”
“I told you,” I remind him. “I’m not going to freak out on you. This can be whatever we want it to be.”
“I know,” he says. “I know you did. I just . . . wanted to be sure.”
So, was his entire reason for coming down to see me really only because he was worried I was off somewhere pining for him? What was that kiss about then? It makes my head hurt thinking about it, but I can’t bring myself to say anything.
“I hope I didn’t cause any problems with your friend,” Noah adds, pulling me from my thoughts.
My brow furrows. “My friend?”
“Liam,” he clarifies.
“Oh.” I’m searching his face for any signs of jealousy or alpha nonsense—but his expression remains frustratingly blank. “No, no. He’s really just a friend.”
Or at least, that’s what I thought before today.
“Okay,” Noah says evenly. “I was afraid I had overstepped with . . . you know.”
Ah. So he had been second-guessing it.
“You mean making out in the hallway?”
He flinches. “More or less.”
“You were just playing the part,” I say, mirroring what he texted me earlier.
“Right,” he answers immediately.
“It’s not like you were being jealous or something,” I laugh, passing it off as a joke even though part of me is perking up for his answer. “Right?”
It takes him a second to answer, but only a second. “Of course not.”
I consider it, reasoning that regardless of his reasons—I definitely didn’t hate him kissing me in the hallway.
“I think maybe we’re both probably walking on eggshells,” I admit. “I can tell you’re still worrying about last night changing things, but I think we got through it fine. I mean, you’re not mauling my male coworkers, and I’m not begging you to bite me, so all in all, I’d say it was a successful experiment.”
“I guess that’s . . . true.”
“And we both enjoyed it . . . right?”
I don’t miss the way his throat bobs with a swallow, nor do I miss the way his jaw tenses as if remembering. “I did.”
Okay. So we can work with this. Maybe it wouldn’t be so awkward if we laid out some ground rules to begin with.
“You know,” I start, moving away from where I’m standing to circle his desk, “there’s nothing that says we can’t help each other and also, you know, help each other.”
Noah looks up at me as I approach. “How do you mean?”
“I don’t think it will be the end of the world if we get a little enjoyment out of this relationship—even if it is fake.”
“Enjoyment?”
“I just mean . . . we don’t have to think so much about our little addendum.”
“We don’t,” he parrots, eyes on my mouth.
I press my hands on either side of his desk chair. “We both know what this is, and there’s no risk since we aren’t looking for anything to come out of it.”
“Right,” he murmurs. “Since I’m leaving.”
For some reason the reminder of the expiration date of our little arrangement gives me pause, but only for like a second. I remind myself that’s the best part of the whole thing.
“Exactly,” I tell him. I curl my body to bring my mouth inches from his, reaching to cup his jaw. “So let’s enjoy it until then. No more worrying about how I’m doing, okay?”
“If that’s what you want,” he breathes.
I close the distance, letting my lips brush against his in a lazy kiss that makes his scent bloom around me, making my knees wobble. I have to press my legs together when I pull away, and Noah’s expression says he’d like to do a lot more than just this. It’s a very different look for the normally taciturn Dr. Taylor.
It’s weirdly arousing, being the only person to know this side of him.
“It is,” I assure him. I give him another quick kiss for good measure before I pull away. “If you weren’t working tonight, I’d say that you could show me your place.”
The implication is clear, and thankfully, Noah looks much less wary than he did the last time I propositioned him.
“You want to see my place?”
I have to bite back a smile, my earlier uncertainty currently being washed away by anticipation. “For research purposes, of course. I need to be able to tell people with confidence that you don’t actually sleep upside down in a cave.”
He doesn’t laugh, but I think it’s because he’s looking at me now like he wants to pull me into his lap. Should I tell him I would probably let him?
“I could . . .” His throat bobs. “I could do this tomorrow.”
I do crawl into his lap then, my lips curving against his. “Noah Taylor? Procrastinating? Now I’ve seen it all.”
Turns out Noah’s mouth is an effective method of shutting me up.
Who knew.