The End of the Beginning

After dinner William slipped away to the seawall. He wanted to say some words to his grandparents. He hoped they were both listening. Above was a bright full moon that cast a vibrant bluish glaze across the ocean. The smooth light contrasted well off of his white uniform and beret, overcoming the amber lights of the wall. Something moved to his right, catching his peripheral vision off guard. William swung around and laid eyes on John, who was standing a few feet behind him with two bags of potato chips in his hands.

Once William turned around, John said loudly, “Captain!”

“Jesus, Doc, you scared the crap out of me! What are you doing here?”

“I followed you. You’re not very stealthy,” chuckled John.

“You followed me?” smirked William.

“Yep! Plus, I figured you would come here a lot. It’s very nice, isn’t it?”

“Uh… yeah it is. And you’re right; I do come here a lot. Almost every night.”

“Every night, wow. Well, I don’t blame you. It’s a nice place to talk.”

“Talk?” William said, trying to sound like he did not know what John was saying.

“I may be a nerdy extrovert who is socially awkward at times, but Will, I see things that aren’t just amino acids and vitamin pills. You were talking to them, weren’t you? Your grandparents,” John said as he walked up next to William.

“My grandpar… what? No. I was just enjoying the breeze out here before bed.”

“It’s okay, Will. I talk to those who I have lost too sometimes. It helps, doesn’t it?”

“Wait, how do you know about my grandparents? I’ve never told you about them, have I?”

“No, but I’ve seen your records. I had to get you here, sue me. And, and I, ugh, I,” John coughed and cleared his throat, “I can just tell because, like I said, just like you, I’ve lost someone close as well.” “You have?”

“Oh yeah, many years ago. When I was five, I was on a plane, a small little thing our family friends had that we would take out to fly around for a while. Get some airtime, you know. It was fun. I loved it. On this one particular flight, my sister came. Her name was Maya,” he said fondly, “Maya Morrison. We used to call her M&M. She was so beautiful, Will, so full of life and love. I pushed Maya into coming along, just this once. She was afraid to fly, but I convinced her along with some help from our friends. It was a little Piper. I think it could hold five, six people, I can’t remember. But anyway, we took off. The flight was amazing. My sister had a blast and I had a blast. Everything was good. On the way back to the airport the pilot, his name was Dave, a great flyer, been doing it for years, had a massive heart attack and died right then and there, right in front of us in the back seats. Just a normal guy doing his normal everyday thing. Dead. No one else in the plane was trained to fly like he was. We crashed a few hundred feet from the runway. My sister never made it. I survived with only a few cuts and a broken wrist. She was only eight.” John rested his arms on the handrail and sighed. He did not speak for a few seconds, letting the waves replace his talking. Still, he looked happy.

“Man, she was something. The world would somehow be better if she were around today. A genius, probably.”

William was taken aback by the story. John looked like he had told it a thousand times to a thousand different people, not wavering once in emotion and even having a smile on his blue, moonlit face.

“Oh, my God, Doc. I’m so sorry. I didn’t, I didn’t know. That’s why you’re afraid to fly, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, that’s it right there. That’s still our secret, okay?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ve haven’t had many to tell anyways until now.”

John laughed.

“My God,” said William, still dismayed at the story, feeling sorry for John. But John was not feeling sorry for John. His smile never left.

“Well, I don’t know about God,” he said pointing an index finger into the air, “but I do believe the universe never wastes anything. When I talk to her I know she is all around me still. The warmth that flowed through her is still around us. The energy she gave off still exists. Every particle’s direction that was altered by her touch and waving blonde hair has spread alterations across to others and then others, maybe even to one hitting us right now, just as your grandparents’ alterations might. You never know. She is all still here, just a bit less… orderly, I guess,” John chuckled.

“Trust me, Will, the universe would never waste something as beautiful as a person’s consciousness. When you’re talking out here by yourself, they can hear you, your grandparents, my sister. She still lives somewhere looking out at us and I hope she is happy with what she sees. That’s why I became a doctor in the Air Force, so that I could save people and get rid of my fear of flying all at once. Unfortunately, that last one has not happened yet.” “But you do it,” William said.

“Yes, I do it. I do it because life doesn’t wait for you to stop and think about what you’re going to do next. You just sit tight and explore the new direction, the new plan. I didn’t let it beat me; it helped me, just as still talking to her still helps me. I’ve learned to live with it, my friend, just as you are right now. I don’t shy away from the fear, I embrace it.” “Oh yeah, but I - ”

“Before you discourage yourself or act modest again, thinking you’re not good at controlling your life, I’ll tell you another little secret, Captain. That med bracelet you’re wearing...” William looked down at it on his wrist as John pointed to it, still holding the chip bags.

“It’s fake, a placebo,” smiled John. “All it does is inject water into your skin. Cool, huh?”

“What! This thing has been fake the whole time?!” cried William.

“The whole time,” said John. “And have things not been better?”

“They have...”

“Yep. You have been getting better because of you! All with only your un-medicated mind and will.”

“Did Dr. Frydryck know about this?”

“Nope, just me and now you! Darn. I’m a good doctor. Ha! Could have been a psychiatrist myself.”

“Forgive me, Colonel, but you are one slick son of a bitch. A placebo, really?”

“Yes,” John said, so pleased with himself.

“So, then I really did control all of my emotions.”

“Yes, again.”

“Why are you telling me this now? Shouldn’t you have waited until after tomorrow, after physical starts, when I wasn’t under so much pressure?” John opened one of his chip bags and then offered the other to William but he declined the offer.

“No,” said John, taking a chomp at a chip.

“No? What do you mean no?”

“No,” John said, chewing away, “because this shows you that you can do anything you want with only you doing it. You have the ability to just move on, to take life and explore what you wish. Tomorrow, when you meet your team for the first time and lead, your new life will truly begin separate but equal to the past. And you’re going to kick butt at it. If I could get my skinny, tiny butt through the Yard and lead then you definitely will too, tough guy.” William looked away. All he said softly was, “Thanks, Doc.”

John chomped on his chips, knowing William probably wanted to compliment more but did not know how. That was okay with him.

“What does it involve?” asked William after maybe a minute of silence.

“Ummm, lots of climbing… yeah. Lots and lots of climbing.”