The Dying Light (Bloodwitch #1)

‘Charlie, I need to talk to you about something …’

Charlie, who had been sitting alone against a far wall, was busy trying to parcel up his thoughts and feelings and store them somewhere safe and out of sight, deep inside himself. When he heard Vasco’s voice, he forced himself up onto his feet. His legs still a little unsteady, he fixed Vasco with a hard stare. He had known that this would be coming at some point. He was prepared for it. In truth, he was impressed that Vasco had managed to hold himself back from chewing him out for this long.

‘What d’you want? I thought you were on guard duty?’

‘We need to get moving,’ Vasco began, his voice stiff. ‘Do you need –? Are you –?’

Charlie shrugged. ‘You didn’t come over here just to tell me that. Go on, say it.’

Vasco regarded him in silence for a moment before something changed in his face. ‘Fine, I will.’ He drew in a sharp breath. ‘When I realised that you had decided to try to save your family without me, I was so worried about you that I thought I’d lose my mind.’

He said all of this in a clipped, rushed voice that seemed to leave him close to breathless by the time he had managed to get all the words out. He stared at Charlie for a second, wide-eyed, then scowled at the floor. His arms were crossed tightly against his chest, his shoulders taut.

Charlie, who had looked up sharply at the idea that Vasco had been worried about him, did not quite know what to say in response to this. It was not what he had expected at all.

‘The thought of you here, in this place … and knowing that I couldn’t do anything to help you …’ Vasco shook his head, running both hands through his hair, making it stand on end. ’Don’t ever do that to me again, all right?’ he said fiercely, giving Charlie a gentle push below his left shoulder. ‘No more lone wolf adventures – I’m not sure my nerves can take it.’

‘You’re right,’ Charlie admitted, his voice sounding as hollow as he felt. ‘Back then, it would have been better for everyone if you were there – on the roof – and I had just stayed out of it. You would have known what to do. You would have saved them.’

Vasco’s face fell. ‘That’s not what I meant,’ he said quickly. ‘I meant that I –’ His shoulders sagged as he exhaled with a little shake of his head. ‘I just don’t want you to leave me behind. I’d rather be in danger myself, by your side, than have to think about you coping with something like that on your own …’ He looked up into Charlie’s eyes. ‘You’re not alone.’

Charlie, who had found himself only half-listening to what Vasco was saying, forced himself to speak. ‘If you had been there, they might still be alive right now. Dragomir, he – he played me, and I was …’ He paused, breathing deeply, his throat burning as he felt the full weight of the terrible, irrefutable truth of his words in his heart. ‘I was completely useless. I couldn’t do anything to stop him. Now they’re gone – forever. They’re dead, and it’s all my fault …’

‘You killed them, did you?’ At the sound of Seren’s voice, Charlie looked up. She was glaring at him, her hands on her hips and a fierce expression on her face.

‘What did you say?’

‘I asked you if you were the one who killed them.’

‘No,’ Charlie shot back, ‘but I’m responsible. I’m the reason they’re dead. If I had –’

‘You need to stop thinking like that,’ Vasco said, his voice quiet but firm. ‘You’re going to drive yourself out of your mind with those kinds of thoughts. No matter how hard you wish things had been different, you can’t change what happened. You can’t change the past.’

‘You have to keep moving forward,’ Seren added, nodding in agreement.

’Tell me this then, if you two are so smart – how am I supposed to move forward?’ Charlie asked, his voice flat. ‘If I could go back and die in their place, I would.’ The words were out of his mouth before he had a chance to stop them. ‘I wish I were dead. I don’t deserve to be alive. It’s not …’ He felt a hollow smile curl his mouth as he realised how pathetic he sounded. The world had never been fair. ‘I don’t think I can do this anymore … something’s different this time.’ He closed his eyes. ’I can still feel it – him – inside me … under my skin. I feel –’

‘You’re right, it’s not fair,’ Seren said gently, taking his hand in hers as he looked away. ‘You think I don’t know how you feel? If I had the chance to switch places with my sister and trade my freedom for hers, don’t you think I would take it? I think about her every day, you know – every single day. There’s a hole in my heart and it’s tearing me up inside.’

Charlie watched her brush a tear from her eyelashes and squeezed her fingers.

‘But this is the way things are, for now,’ Seren went on, after taking a deep, shuddering breath. ’We have to live with it. We have to keep going. We have to keep trying. What else can we do? Do you think I should give up?’

‘No,’ Charlie said softly, ‘I don’t. I don’t want you to give up. I mean …’ He looked from Seren to Vasco, and over to Alya and Jasmine, only fully processing his new realisation as he spoke the words for the first time. ‘I need you.’

‘Well, we need you too,’ Seren replied immediately, as Vasco kept his eyes fixed on the floor, his cheeks colouring. ’That means you can’t give up either, all right? No matter what happens, we stick together – all of us. We’re here for you, you know … I’ll always be here.’

Charlie nodded. The familiar sensation of guilt was twisting in his stomach again. At some point, what had started out as a secret he felt entitled to keep had swollen to the point where he felt like he was living a lie by refusing to share the truth with them.

He was dying.

There would never be a better time to tell them than this.

But as he looked into Seren’s eyes, he found that the words simply would not come. He could not bring himself to cause her more pain. He forced himself to smile and said nothing, wincing as a searing pain shot through his chest.

‘You didn’t finish what you were saying … before,’ Vasco said, once Seren had gone to re-join the other two girls. He was watching for Charlie’s reaction, a cautious expression on his face. ‘When you were talking about how you were feeling, you said that – that you wished you …’ He trailed off, his shoulders tense. ‘I don’t know what to say. But I can listen. I’m worried about you. I …’ His dark eyes met Charlie’s. ’I care about you. You do know that I don’t want you to die, don’t you?’

‘Oh, right, sure …’ Charlie tried his best to laugh it off, and Vasco lowered his eyes again with a small sigh. ‘It’s nothing. I’m fine. I was just going to say that I feel … I don’t know … ruined, I guess.’

He caught sight of the sombre look on Vasco’s face, his gaze calmly rising to meet Charlie’s, and he smothered a cough before scratching at his forearm.

‘But that’s nothing new,’ Charlie added, shrugging, knowing he should stop talking. ‘I’ll be fine. It’s always … always like this, straight after … I’m fine. I’ll be fine.’

Vasco blinked rapidly, his eyes shining. ‘You don’t always have to be so brave, Charlie.’

‘You –’ Charlie took a step backwards, his eyes narrowing. ‘What would you know about it, anyway? Why can’t you just …’ He let out a deep sigh, finding that he no longer had the energy left to pretend. ‘Just leave me alone, all right?’ He had attempted something sharp-edged, but it came out sounding exactly how he felt – hopeless, exhausted, pathetic.

Vasco’s throat bobbed. ‘If that’s what you want,’ he said, his voice soft and sad.

His stomach twisting at Vasco’s downcast expression, Charlie swallowed. He was about to attempt an apology when Seren, Alya and Jasmine descended upon them. Clearly uncomfortable, Vasco was forced to shuffle closer towards Charlie as the girls joined them, and the five of them grouped together into a tight circle.

‘Everyone, listen up,’ Jasmine said. ‘We’ve made our decision. We’ve got Charlie back, but we’re not done yet.’

‘What d’you mean?’ Vasco asked, his voice sharp. ’Who said you’re the leader here?’

‘The three of us have put together everything we know, as well as the information from the prisoners Charlie helped to escape,’ Alya answered, ‘and we have a plan.’

Vasco closed his eyes and stifled a groan but made no attempt to argue with her.

‘What’s the plan?’ Charlie asked.

‘Sabotage, and an extraction mission,’ Jasmine said. ‘We’re not leaving until we’ve rescued Seren’s sister and destroyed whatever it is that they’ve been working on to hurt the witch covens.’

‘You’re pushing your luck,’ Vasco warned, folding his arms as he cast a dark look at Jasmine. ‘We came here to rescue Charlie. We got him. Now we need to leave. We stay here and we risk everyone getting captured.’ Charlie noticed that Vasco glanced at Alya, who stubbornly avoided his gaze. ‘If they get their hands on any of you, you’re not getting out alive this time.’

‘No one’s asking you to join us,’ Jasmine said at once, as she examined her nails. ‘If you want to leave, you’re free to do so. Honestly, I would feel more confident doing this without the help of a Witchkiller. That way, I wouldn’t feel the need to constantly be watching my back.’

Vasco regarded her with a cool stare. ‘You don’t know where her sister is, or where the weapons are,’ he said, his voice superbly calm. ‘Do you even know what you’re looking for?’

Jasmine dismissed him with a wave of her hand. ‘Whatever it is, we know it’s a weapon,’ she said. ‘We make our way towards the armoury. We destroy whatever we find there.’

‘I should be able to locate Saga if I have Seren close by as a conduit,’ Alya added.

‘We need to get in and get out – as fast as we can,’ Seren said. ‘We’ve done a good job of avoiding Dragomir and his forces so far.’ One by one, she fixed them all with a grim expression. ‘Let’s hope our luck holds out for a little while longer.’

With a shake of his head, Vasco led the way out of the room, his rifle in his hands. Charlie and the others followed, bunched together, moving as quickly and quietly as they could. Their eyes scanned the long corridors in all directions for any sign of movement.

Then, with a horrible sinking feeling, Charlie caught sight of someone coming towards them. Vasco came to a sudden halt, his rifle raised before him.

‘Stop right there!’ he ordered. ‘Get your hands up.’

‘Don’t shoot,’ a hesitant voice answered. A young man in a long white coat strode towards them, his hands raised in front of his chest. ‘I’m unarmed. Please, don’t hurt me.’

‘Max!’ Charlie pulled Vasco back and stepped in front of the rifle, staring at his brother in shock. ‘What’re you doing here?’

Max’s eyes travelled across the faces of the three girls, to Vasco with his rifle, before they settled on Charlie. ‘I thought about what you said.’ There was a determined look on his face. ‘I want to help you.’

Charlie grinned back at him. ‘I knew you’d change your mind.’

‘What are you doing?’ Vasco hissed, as Charlie encouraged Max to join them with a wave of his hand. ‘Don’t you know he’s –?’

‘He’s coming with us,’ Charlie answered, meeting Vasco’s eyes. ‘He’s my brother.’

‘He may be your brother, but he works for the regime,’ Jasmine said, her voice strained.

Alya shifted her weight, looking uncomfortable. ‘He’s been a good friend to me.’

‘He was always kind to me, too,’ Seren added, looking at Charlie. ‘Besides, he’s Charlie’s brother. We can trust him.’

’We can’t trust him,’ Vasco retorted at once, his grip tight on his rifle as he glared at Max.

Max smiled politely back, pushing his glasses up his nose and placing his hands in the pockets of his lab coat. ‘We are not so unalike, are we, Lieutenant Kovalev?’ he said, his voice light. ‘We both live to serve the Great Protector. By the way, he is a Witch Hunter – were you aware of that?’ Max glanced at Jasmine and Seren with a quizzical look. ’Surely, the question you should be asking yourselves is whether you can really trust him?’

‘That’s cute,’ Vasco sneered, as Jasmine and Seren exchanged a look, while Alya began chewing on her fingernails. Vasco turned to Charlie, who felt his heart begin to beat faster. ‘Charlie knows he can trust me,’ Vasco said. ‘Right, Charlie?’

‘We should keep moving,’ Charlie muttered. ‘Get in and get out, right?’

Vasco, whose grip on his rifle had gone slack, was staring at Charlie with wide, bewildered eyes. ‘Charlie, come on …’ he began, his voice a little shaky. ‘Tell me you can see through this? You know what he’s trying to do, don’t you? He’s trying to turn us against each other. You know I’d never –’

Charlie clenched his fists as his teeth ground together. ’You want me to trust you over my own brother?’ he snarled. ’He’s the only family I have left. I don’t even know you.’

At this, all the tension seemed to leave Vasco’s shoulders. He shrugged and looked away, his eyes shuttering. ‘It’s your decision,’ he said, his voice flat and distant. ‘What would I know?’

He resettled his rifle against his chest and continued striding forwards, his features like stone.

‘Come on,’ Jasmine said, after clearing her throat and moving to the front of the group. ‘Charlie’s right, we need to keep moving. We can’t afford any more hold-ups.’

She and Alya followed behind Vasco. After giving Charlie a nod of reassurance, Seren hurried to catch up with them, leaving him alone with his older brother.

‘I’m glad I wasn’t too late,’ Max said, turning to Charlie with a tentative smile.

‘What made you change your mind?’ Charlie asked. His grin had returned.

‘I remembered that I let you walk away once before, a long time ago,’ Max answered. ‘I wasn’t going to let you make the same mistake again.’

Charlie took a deep, steadying breath. ‘I remember. You told me to stay with you that day, and I ignored you. By the time I came back, you were gone.’ His voice was beginning to shake. ‘They – they wouldn’t tell me where you were, only that I would never see you again.’ He forced himself to continue. ‘I ran away from the orphanage that night. I – I thought it would be so easy for me to find you …’

Max was watching him steadily. ‘You didn’t have much luck, I take it?’

‘I wish I had just listened to you. Everything went wrong for me after that.’

Max nodded. ‘I wish you had stayed with me that day too,’ he said, letting out a small sigh. ‘But I suppose we have another chance now. From now on, the two of us stick together.’

Charlie nodded back with enthusiasm. ‘That’s right. We’re brothers. No matter what.’

‘We’re here,’ Jasmine said, as they came to a halt on a corridor lined with wooden doors. ‘Everyone split up – and let us know if you find anything suspicious.’

Nodding to Max as they separated, Charlie went through the door closest to him. Immediately, he had the sense that he was not alone. Squinting through the darkness, he caught sight of a shape hidden among the shadows. He expected to feel fear, but he only felt empty. Steeling himself, he closed the door and switched on the light. At the sight of the person in front of him, he froze.

‘You …’

‘Easy, Carroway.’ Faulkner stepped towards him. ‘I’m not here to hurt you – this time.’

Charlie launched himself forward and slammed Faulkner against the wall. ‘You expect me to believe that?’ he said harshly, one fist balled against the older man’s throat. ‘Do you know what that monster did to me when you handed me over to him? How stupid d’you think I am?’

Faulkner smirked back at him. ‘Well, you tell me,’ he said, spluttering a little, but still managing to maintain his lazy drawl. ‘Don’t think I hadn’t noticed your little fraternal reunion.’

Charlie’s eyes narrowed. ‘My brother has nothing to do with this.’

‘Are you really so sure about that?’ Faulkner coughed as Charlie shoved him back against the wall, his hands clawing at Charlie’s fist, which remained firm against his throat. ‘You can’t trust him, Charlie.’

’Why would I ever trust anything you say?’ Charlie demanded, his teeth gritted.

’Listen to me,’ Faulkner said, his voice urgent, as Charlie eased up a little on the pressure against his windpipe. ‘Those three maniacs still have plans for you. I don’t know what it is, but it’s something big. You’ve made it personal. You should get out of here while you still can.’

Charlie laughed coldly. ‘Thanks for the advice, but next time don’t bother.’

‘This is your last chance, Carroway,’ Faulkner pressed on, righting his shirt and collar, as Charlie let him go and backed away from him. ‘I’ll take you back. You’ll be welcomed back into the fold, I swear it. You could lead the whole gang someday. I always saw you as my successor, you know. You remember how it used to be between the two of us, don’t you? Before you ruined everything.’

’What did you say?’ Charlie whispered. Faulkner’s words had made him go numb.

‘You can have a good life,’ Faulkner continued, holding out his hand. ‘We’ll make the best of this. We could be partners again. Everything can be forgiven.’

Charlie shook his head. ’Everything can be forgiven … can you even hear yourself?’ He stumbled backwards against the closed door, his limbs shaking. ’You abducted me from off the streets when I was six years old. You kept me as your prisoner for seven years, and you –’

‘I saved your life.’ Faulkner shrugged. ‘I took you in out of love. I gave you a home.’

‘You raped me.’ Though Charlie was trembling with fury, his voice remained cold and steady. ’And when you got bored of me, you hired me out to anyone who was willing to pay. And then, when I tried to run away from you, you let anyone who had ever wanted to put their hands on me rape me as well. Then you tied me down and branded me, so that I would never be able to forget the words you said to me. What part of that has anything to do with love?’

‘You survived, didn’t you?’ Faulkner was gazing at him with pride. ‘It was all to make you stronger. I always told you that you were special, didn’t I? You can’t escape what you are.’

Charlie felt something slip inside of him. He felt his clenched fist connect with the side of Faulkner’s face. The next thing he knew, Faulkner was sprawled, bleeding, on the floor.

‘I’m going to have your words stamped on my skin for the rest of my life, you sick, twisted fuck.’ Charlie was breathing hard, as though he had been running flat out. ‘You didn’t want to make me stronger. You wanted to destroy me. You wanted to see me broken into pieces, just so you could be the one to pick up the shards and put me back together.’ Charlie straightened himself up to his full height, staring down at Faulkner, a strange calm stealing its way through him. ‘But I’ll never be like you. I got away, and I’m never going back. I’m free now.’

‘Is that so?’ Faulkner grimaced up at him, one hand to his cheek, his scarred mouth twisted. ‘Fine by me. You’ve made your bed, so you can lie in it. Don’t come crawling back to me when you find yourself with fleas. I never thought you’d be one to lie down beside your enemy – and willingly, at that.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘You figure it out. I’m done. You’ll regret making an enemy of me, Charlie Carroway.’

Glaring at him, Charlie’s eyes followed Faulkner out of the room. He did not trust himself to think too much about what had just passed between them. When Faulkner was gone, Charlie braced himself against the wall, his hands shaking. It was only when his thoughts had stopped racing that he remembered the plan. When he returned to the corridor, Vasco was there.

‘Where have you been?’ he asked, his tone hovering somewhere between cold and concerned.

’What do you care?’ Charlie snapped, making to push past him, only to find himself brought to a halt by the grip of Vasco’s fingers around his upper arm. ‘Get,’ he breathed, ’off me. Now.’

‘I know you don’t want to hear this, but please listen to me,’ Vasco said, easing his hold on Charlie. ‘I know he’s your brother, but I don’t trust him. His work here, it’s –’

‘Back off!’ Charlie warned, wrenching himself free. ’It’s got nothing to do with you.’

A hurt look flickered across Vasco’s face, before his expression darkened. ‘Charlie –’

’I don’t need you, you understand?’ Charlie almost shouted, shoving Vasco away. ‘Why can’t you –’

‘Charlie, it’s all right.’ Max was beside him, one arm around his shoulders. His voice was calm in Charlie’s ear as he stared at Vasco, who had staggered backwards, looking close to inconsolable. ‘Listen to me. Let it go. He’s not worth it.’

‘I know you,’ Vasco said to Max, his voice a low rumble, as Charlie attempted to master himself in his brother’s grip. His head was spinning, and a bitter, acidic taste was rising in his throat at their enforced proximity so soon after his encounter with Faulkner. ’I know what you are. If you even think about hurting him, I’ll –’

‘What will you do? Kill me?’ Max shot back coolly. ‘That’s all you’re good for, isn’t it?’

Before Vasco could reply, they heard a shout. ‘Everyone, over here – we’ve found it!’