SWNOVELS Chapter 47
I stare at all the articles about Xavier and me, each of them having captured a slightly different moment of the lead-up to me grabbing Xavier and kissing him. I blush fiercely as I look at all the comments and the outrageous speculative headlines.
Sierra Windsor sabotages Xavier Kingston’s date
Sierra Windsor jealous of more than just her rival’s success
Sierra and Xavier clash at fundraiser— but not the way we expected
“For god’s sake,” I mutter, my heart racing. The way I look at him in these photos leaves very little guesswork, in my opinion, and they still can’t quite get it right. Honestly, at this rate, the headlines should’ve just read Sierra kisses Xavier in a jealous fit. Even Sierra and Xavier reveal their relationship would’ve made more sense than this.
“Kitten?”
I gasp and jump up in surprise when Xavier walks into my office holding a giant bouquet of pale pink Juliet roses — my favorite. It shouldn’t surprise me that he knows such little details about me. He shows his affection in unexpected ways, and I’ve learnt that it often comes in this shape — it’s him proving that he pays attention to every little thing I do or say, and remembering little remarks that anyone else would’ve forgotten.
“These are gorgeous,” I whisper as I take them from him, suddenly feeling incredibly shy. He doesn’t know how meaningful these kinds of things are to me. These are all things I’ve been reading about for years but never got to experience for myself, until him.
“Not quite as gorgeous as you are,” he says, leaning in for a kiss. My eyes flutter closed, and I rise to my tiptoes, deepening our kiss.
Xavier is breathing hard when he pulls back, his forehead dropping to mine. “It’s six,” he whispers. “And I was wondering if you’d have dinner with me? I can wait for you if you’re still busy with work.”
He pulls back to look at me, his expression a little uncertain, and I nod. “Let’s go,” I tell him, oddly nervous. He’s asking me out on a date, isn’t he? We’ve been spending so much time together in the last couple of months, but we haven’t gone out on dates, and I’m oddly excited about it.
Xavier grabs my hand and entwines our fingers as he leads me through my office building, toward his car, and I grin to myself as I squeeze his hand. I hear the whispers around us, but I couldn’t care less.
“Wow,” I whisper to myself when we walk onto the rooftop of The Siren. Everywhere I look, there are planters with Juliet rose bushes and countless candles. There is only one table, and Xavier grins at me as he leads me to it. He pulls out my chair for me, and I sit down hesitantly. “What is all this?”
He reaches for my hand over the table. “There’s something that I wanted to talk to you about.”
His words instantly make me nervous, and I panic inwardly when he pulls out a set of documents. “You know how I’m not great at expressing myself?”
Is he trying to tell me that he took offense to the way I publicly kissed him last night? Is he going to sue me for it? He can’t, can he? He’s the one who said that keeping our marriage a secret wasn’t part of our NDA.
“You look like there’s something crazy going on in your mind,” he says, chuckling lightly as he slides to documents toward me, and I frown when I realize they’re property deeds. “I’ve been meaning to give this to you since the day we got married, but I couldn’t really find the right words, and I was worried that you’d take it the wrong way.”
“What is this?” I ask, my cheeks rosy.
How could he possibly have known I was thinking something crazy? It’s becoming more and more common for him to know what I’m thinking without me even saying anything at all, and each time he seems to read my mind, I just fall deeper in love with him.
“I’ve thought long and hard about how to say this, and which words I’d choose, but now that I’m sitting here with you, I can’t remember a single one of them,” he says, his voice trembling just a touch. Xavier is always confident, and I’m not quite sure what to make of him tonight.
I reach for the documents hesitantly, my heart racing. “You’re giving me every single major acquisition we’ve fought about over the years?” I ask, looking the documents over. “All six of them?” I frown as I read through the documents carefully. Indus, The Renegade, Artemis, Renaissance, Everest and even The Siren. He’s giving me every project that I thought I’d won, only for him to swoop in and steal it away. Each of these I’d designed right down to the last detail, and he copied every single thing I’d wanted.
Xavier nods, his expression unreadable. “You know how I once told you I never stole any projects from you, and you were so mad you bit my arm?”I laugh, unable to help it. He smiles back at me, his gaze filled with adoration. “What I didn’t tell you then is that they were always meant for you. It was never the properties I was after.”
“Then what were you after?”
His gaze roams over my face. “You.”
I bite back a smile as my heart thunders in my chest. “You want me?” I repeat. “What will you give me in return?” I ask nervously, in an attempt to play off his words in case I’m misunderstanding what he’s saying.
He looks into my eyes, nothing but sincerity in them. “Everything.”
“Are you sure?” I ask, my voice breaking as insecurity shines through. “What if my demands are too high?”
“There’s nothing you could ask for that I won’t give you.”
“What if I want your heart?”
I thought my words would surprise him, but he merely smiles, his eyes overflowing with affection. “It’s already yours. My heart has always has been yours, Sierra. I am madly in love with you, and I have been for far longer than you could possibly imagine.” Xavier reaches for my hand and squeezes gently.
“Always?” I repeat, my heart filled with hope.
He glances at the property deeds and smiles. “In order of acquisition, what do these six projects spell?”
I frown as I think back to the last eight years or so, when these properties were acquired. In order of when he stole each of these, it’d be…
The Siren
Indus
Everest
The Renegade
Renaissance
Artemis
“SIERRA,” I whisper in disbelief when I recognize the pattern the first letters form.
My husband looks down, his cheekbones flushed. “When I say always, I truly mean it. It’s always been you for me. I never dared tell you how I feel, especially not when I couldn’t tell you the truth about myself, and my past.”
“You don’t have to tell me,” I tell him, my heart aching. “It was never about knowing everything about you, Xavier. I just didn’t want to feel like an outsider. I wanted to feel closer to you, and I do now.”
He shakes his head. “Dion said something to me a while ago that stuck with me, and he’s right. He told me that if I didn’t tell you the truth, I wasn’t ever really giving you a honest chance to love me, and I’d always fear that you’d leave me when you found out that there were parts of me I’d hidden from you — and it’s true.” Xavier runs a hand through his hair and sighs, his expression sorrowful. “Those properties? I want you to have them regardless of what you think of me when I’m done telling you everything I need to say to you, but that isn’t what I wanted to talk to you about today.”
I nod, my heart beating wildly, nerves rushing down my spine. “I’m listening,” I tell him, my voice soft.
Xavier’s eyes falling closed for a few moments, before he looks at me with pure resignation written all over his face. “The night I came home with blood on my clothes, I’d cut out a man’s tongue, and I’d dismembered several others.”
My stomach turns, and I take a deep breath. “Did they deserve to die?”
His eyes widen, like that isn’t at all the response he was expecting. “Yes,” he says, sounding a little confused.
“Tell me why.”
“It’s a long story,” he tells me, “but it’s one you deserve to hear.”
I nod, and he begins to tell me about his family’s criminal roots, and I listen raptly. “I wanted out,” he admits, “and I wasn’t the only one — Valeria did too. We argued about it often, because she’d actually been gathering the courage to leave, but I didn’t dare disappoint our parents. One particular night our usual argument blew over, and I told her to just leave instead of always talking about it.” He looks away, pure heartbreak in his eyes. “She walked out the door, and I watched her go. That was the same night she disappeared.”
Xavier can barely look at me as he continues to tell me about his past, and eventually the photo he received, and the way he responded to that attempt at blackmail. “I wish I could tell you that was all in the past, and that I’m a better man now, but the truth is, I don’t regret it, and I’d do it all over again if I needed to.” He clasps his hands and slowly raises his eyes. “I understand that this changes everything, Sierra. I thought of keeping this from you for the rest of our lives, but then I realized that it’d just hurt you so much more if you eventually found out we built our love on a bed of lies, and I love you too much to do that to you.”
“You’re right,” I murmur. “It changes everything.”
He looks heartbroken as I rise from my seat, only for his brows to furrow as I walk up to him. He pulls his chair back, his eyes widening when I place my knee between his legs and my hands on his shoulders.
Xavier reaches for me, only to pull his hands back as he looks into my eyes, his expression one I haven’t seen on him before. He looks uncertain, hopeful, and mesmerized — all at once. “Let’s announce our marriage,” I tell him, my voice trembling. “I love you, Xavier. I love every single part of you, including the parts you wish never saw the light of day. Every experience, every regret made you who you are, and I wouldn’t change a thing about you. I love you as you are, Xavier Kingston, and I always will.”