SWNOVELS Chapter 38
“You’ve been suspiciously quiet about Xavier lately,” Raven says as I put on my hairnet ahead of our shift at the soup kitchen Grandma founded.
I can’t help but blush, and Raven instantly begins to giggle. “Tell me everything,” she demands as we begin to prep our ingredients. I glance over at Grandma, who is happily chatting away with a few of the people her charity employs, and my heart warms at the sight of her. She seems to be doing well, considering.
“There isn’t much to tell,” I lie when Raven knocks her shoulder against mine.
“Right,” she says, her tone teasing. “That definitely explains the silk scarf you’re wearing when it’s blazing hot today.”
“Fine.” I don’t know why I even bothered trying to keep anything from Raven at all. “The last couple of weeks have been… unexpected.”
“Is that good or bad?” she asks as she begins to chop the vegetables I’m cleaning.
“I don’t know,” I admit, my tone filled with uncertainty. “We slept together after an argument, and almost every night since. The way he treats me in bed is unreal, but other than that? It’s like nothing has changed.”
I haven’t told her about the way he distanced himself from me after he came home with blood all over his clothes, and I can’t, not until I know why. Things are much better now, and he hasn’t stayed away from home ever since we first slept together, but it still feels like there’s an invisible wall between us, and I don’t know how to get past it. I’m starting to worry he’ll never let me in.
“I don’t feel like I’m getting to know him better, and when I try to ask about his childhood, he seems to shut down and evade my questions. It’s like the only things he wants are my body and our business deal, and I guess… I don’t know. I’m just kind of at a loss. I just… I really want to be closer to him, but I don’t think he wants that.” I look away and grab a new batch of veggies. “Before we got married, we agreed to part ways once our three years are up,” I admit. “So I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that he’s just having fun with me until our time is up.”
Raven chuckles. “Yeah, right,” she says. “There is no way in hell that Xavier Kingston is ever letting you go. That man is playing the longest con I’ve ever witnessed.”
“What are you even talking about?” I mutter.
She throws me an amused look. “Stop focusing on what he says and start paying closer attention to the things he does. Not everyone expresses their affection with words, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. You just need to know where to look.”
I sigh, wishing she’d understand. It isn’t like I’m expecting him to declare his undying love for me. I just want to have long conversations about more than work. It’s clear he’s got secrets, and I understand he isn’t ready to let me in on those, but I want to know more about him than the things I’ve learned throughout the years. I want him to tell me about the things that shaped him, his hopes, his dreams.
“See?” she says, grinning as she tips her head toward the door.
I look up to find Xavier and Ares walking in together, and my heart skips a beat at the sight of my husband in that navy three-piece suit. Our eyes lock, and he smiles as he makes a beeline for me.
“Kitten,” he says, his arm wrapping around my waist. He leans in to kiss me, only for my brother to clear his throat. Xavier tenses and presses a kiss on my cheek instead, and I can’t help but chuckle.
“What are you doing here?” I ask awkwardly, my heart racing.
“I heard Zane and Celeste couldn’t make it tonight, so Ares and I are filling in for them.”
I raise a brow. “I didn’t realize you’d grown close enough to my brothers to know that.”
His expression shutters closed, and he pulls back to put on a hairnet and gloves. “Put me to work, Mrs. Kingston,” he says.
My eyes roam over his face, searching, though what for, I’m not sure. I can’t help but feel like I’m missing something, because that carefully blank expression he’s got on his face is the same one he wears every time I ask him a question that’s even remotely personal. “You can help me cut these carrots for our soup, and then those pieces of chicken breast are next.”
He nods and immediately gets to work, and I frown in surprise when I realize he’s far better with a knife than I am. “Is this okay?” he asks, and I stare at the perfectly cut pieces in shock. Everything is the exact same width, and he cut that up far faster than I ever could have.
“That’s incredible,” I tell him, earning myself a sweet smile. “Where did you learn to cut veggies like that?”
I notice his eyes widening just a fraction, before he pastes on that smile I’ve come to hate — the one he’s always shown the world, but never me. “Maybe I’m just innately talented,” he says, his tone light.
The way he evades questions is so smooth that I wouldn’t have noticed it if he hadn’t been doing it so often. Until we got married, I didn’t realize he’d been doing it for years, every single time I asked him a question he didn’t want to answer. He seems fine talking about work, but everything else appears to be off-limits, and I just don’t understand why. Why does he go to such lengths to shut me out, only to pull me close at night?
We work in silence for a while, the sounds of Ares and Raven’s laughter taunting me. I’ve never been jealous of the happiness they found together, but today I find myself desperately wishing I could have what they have.
“Are you free next Friday?” Xavier asks hesitantly. “It’s my mom’s birthday next week, and we usually have dinner together. I think she’d really like it if you came.”
My eyes shoot to his, and he smiles tightly, almost like he doesn’t really want to ask me, but his mother told him to. “Next Friday?” Her birthday is so soon, and he’s only just mentioning it?
He nods. “It’ll just be our immediate family, but she loves The Siren, so I reserve the whole restaurant for her every year.”
I turn to face my husband, nerves rushing through me. “Do you want me there?”
He looks pained, but after a few moments of silence, he nods. “I think it would be nice if you came.”
It’s not exactly an answer to what should’ve been an easy yes or no question, but I’ll take it. I sigh and rise to my tiptoes to kiss his cheek, catching him off-guard. “Then I’ll be there, Xavier.”