SWNOVELS Chapter 30
“Where is your husband?” Grandma asks when I walk into her house for our weekly family dinner. “I told you that you’re exempt from attending family events, but I also told you that if you wanted to come tonight anyway, you had to bring Xavier with you.”
A hush falls over the room, and I blush involuntarily as I walk over to my usual seat, my brows rising when I realize there’s an extra seat at the table now. “He’s too busy with work to make it,” I reply, grinning brightly.
Raven leans in, her shoulder brushing against mine. “You never even told him about tonight’s dinner, did you?”
“Nope,” I whisper, before pouring myself a glass of wine. The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind, and though I wouldn’t admit it, I really just needed to come home and be around my siblings for an evening. I’ve never felt quite this confused, and I haven’t really felt like myself since I got married. I blame Xavier, of course. If he hadn’t kept touching me like he truly wanted me, I wouldn’t be second guessing everything I thought I knew.
“I am so sorry I’m late,” I hear a familiar voice call from behind me, and I stare in shock as my husband walks into the room holding a giant bouquet of sunflowers that he hands to Grandma with the sweetest smile on his face.
“Oh, that’s okay, sweetie,” she replies, gently taking his hand. “I’m glad you could make it after all. Sierra said you were too busy with work.”
He looks at me then, our eyes locking. My heart skips a beat when he smirks, before tearing his gaze off me. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. You invited me yourself, after all.” One of our household employees takes the bouquet from him, and my brothers all snicker to themselves as they exchange money, clearly having made bets that I’m not privy to.
Xavier sits down opposite me, and my face heats when I feel his foot against mine. I kick him, and he smirks as he traps my ankle between his. I try my best to break free without letting on what’s going on, and he continues to talk to grandma happily, pretending to be none the wiser.
“So, how has it been?” Raven asks quietly when the starters are served.
I glare at her. “I’m not telling you anything, you traitor.”
She chuckles as she wraps her arm around my shoulder and leans in, her head dropping against mine. “So there is something to tell, then? Spill.” I can hardly hear her voice over all the noise my siblings are making, and for once, I’m grateful for it.
I hesitate for a moment, before telling her everything — the kiss in the library, the way I bit him, and even everything that happened in his office. She smirks as she listens to me, a knowing look in her eyes.
When we got married, I’d been so determined that our marriage would be on paper only, and that we wouldn’t really have anything to do with each other outside of our obligations to our families, but he’s impossible to ignore — impossible to resist. “I don’t know what to make of him, but I do know myself, and I’m not capable of being physically intimate with someone without there being an emotional attachment too.”
She looks at me like she understands, but she couldn’t possibly. “Why do you assume there is no emotional attachment on his part?” she asks.
I smile wryly, acutely aware of the way Xavier is still keeping my ankle trapped, and I try my best not to look at him. “I just know him,” I murmur, unsure how else to explain. I’ve been watching him for years, and other than when I thought he was dating Valeria, he’s never even remotely given me any indication that there was a woman in his life he cared about romantically, and I doubt I’ll be the first.
“Has it ever occurred to you that you only know one side of him, and that maybe, there’s more to him than the parts you’ve gotten to know?” I begin to object, but she smiles at me in that way that shuts me up. “I thought I knew Ares when we got married,” she says, her tone subdued. “But you don’t really know someone until you’ve lived with them, until you’ve seen them at both their best and worst. So far, all you’ve seen of Xavier is what he’s shown you, and maybe that’s only one small piece of the puzzle.”
She looks at me like she knows something I don’t, and I’m tempted to believe her. It’s true that the way he’s been behaving since the wedding has been a little different, and more than once, I’ve felt like I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did.
“Give him a chance, Sierra. Give yourself a chance to be happy. We both know no man has ever come close to knocking down your walls — except for him. Deny it all you want, but there has always been something between you two, so why not take this chance to figure out what that could become? Stop lettings your fears dictate your thoughts and actions.”
Her words still reverberate through my mind as I walk onto Grandma’s patio after dinner, my eyes on the starry sky above me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted a happy marriage of my own — a partner I’d truly connect with, someone that’d be my best friend and my husband. Could I have that with Xavier? The thought of putting my heart on the line terrifies me, and though I’d never admit it, I know he holds the power to destroy me in a way no one else ever could. So far, he hasn’t given me any indication that he wants anything more than my body, and I’m terrified of the way he’s been making me feel each time he touches me. He leaves me wanting more than I think he’s willing to give, and I’m not sure how to handle that.
I startle when someone drapes a suit jacket over my shoulders, and I whirl around, coming face to face with Xavier. He sighs as he reaches for me and gently pushes my hair out of my face.
“What are you doing?” I ask, my eyes roaming over him. Xavier looks incredible in a suit, but he looks even better at the end of the day, with his sleeves rolled up and his tie long gone, his top buttons undone. Raven is right — there are so many parts of him I’ve yet to discover, and I’m scared of what I’ll find.
“Waiting for you to stop running,” he answers, his expression unreadable. “I told you, didn’t I? I’ll wait a million years and a day, if that’s what it takes.”