SWNOVELS Chapter 17
“You’re not mad at me, are you?” Grandma asks as I stand on a platform in Raven’s bridal boutique, wearing a stunning dress she designed for me long before my engagement was even announced. It’s far from done, and it’s already the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen.
“I could never be mad at you, Grams,” I tell her as I twirl for her, showing off my dress. I accompanied her to the hospital this morning, and I’ve been trying to keep my heartbreak hidden ever since. I know how much this dress fitting means to her, and I don’t want to ruin it by crying, but all I can think about is that I’m losing her, and this is one of the last monumental memories I’ll get to make with her.
Grandma smiles as her eyes roam over my wedding gown, and for one single moment, my mind involuntarily drifts to Xavier. What would he think if he saw me in this dress? Judging by the way he kissed me, I’d say that he’s at least a little bit attracted to me, but I don’t hold a candle to someone like Valeria. Could he have meant it when he told me he’s mine, and mine only? I’ve never felt more conflicted, more scared of the future.
“Sweetheart,” Grandma says. “Everything is going to be okay. You trust me, don’t you?”
“I do,” I reply cautiously. “But you don’t know him the way I do, Grandma.” Raven looks up from my wedding gown design on her drawing tablet and shoots me a warning look, but I ignore it. “That humble philanthropic persona he portrays at events is all just a sham. He’s ruthless, unyielding, and dare I say it, unscrupulous.”
“Ah,” Grandma says, her eyes twinkling. “A match made in heaven.”
I gape at her, and she laughs, the sound weaker than it used to be. She’s grown so frail, and I’d noticed it, but I’d dismissed it. Even now, despite all the hospital appointments I’ve accompanied her at, I find it hard to believe that my sweet grandmother is sick. I keep waiting for someone to tell me that there’s a cure, or there’s been a misunderstanding and she was misdiagnosed, but it’s all been to no avail.
“Are you calling me unscrupulous? I’m nothing like him!”
“Yeah, right,” Raven mutters as she approaches me with even more pins. She’s in full concentration mode, but clearly not even my wedding gown is enough to make her keep her commentary at bay. I narrow my eyes at her, but she merely smiles the way Grandma does. “God, it’s surreal to see you in this dress. We’ve been working on this design for years,” she murmurs as she messes with the pleats. We decided on a mermaid style dress with a sweetheart necklace, made entirely of silk, with gorgeous hand beading. It looks even more beautiful in person than it did in my imagination, and it’ll be wasted on Xavier.
My heart twists painfully as I look into the mirror. I was supposed to get my own happily ever after, just like in the romance novels I love to read. The story has played out in my head a thousand times — grandma would choose the perfect man for me, just like she’s found perfect partners for each of my brothers. We’d be awkward around each other for a while, but we’d soon find out that we have a lot in common, and that we enjoy spending time together. Of course, there’d be crazy chemistry between us…
Just like that, Xavier hijacks my mind again. Chemistry. At least we have that in spades. I bite down on my lip as I think back to each time we’ve danced together, each time he whispered the word Kitten in my ear. And then there are the two kisses we shared, and the way his body feels against mine. I’m having a hard time seeing the good in this situation, but I suppose the chemistry between us is something to be grateful for. It could certainly have been worse — not that I plan to ever sleep with him.
“He’ll make you happy,” Grandma says, her voice soft, almost like she’s trying to convince herself as much as she’s trying to convince me.
“Why him, Grams? You do realize he only agreed to this marriage because it’s the only way he can grow his company even further, right? This is just a glorified business deal for him. I don’t know what you think you see in him, but I promise you that you’re wrong.”
She leans back in her seat, her expression shrewd. “It isn’t really about what I see in him, it’s about what I see in you — and you, my sweetheart, have never had eyes for anyone but him.”
“W-what?”
“Just how many times have you regaled us all with stories of things he’d done to you, week after week, year after year? We both know you could’ve put a stop to that ridiculous feud of yours easily — it’d have taken but one phone call to Silas. But instead, you grew more lax, left him loopholes and made silly mistakes whenever you wanted to lose to him, to keep the score even.”
“That’s not true,” I say weakly, my cheeks blazing.
“Isn’t it?” Raven says as she fiddles with the buttons on my back.
“Rave!” I whisper-shout, shocked at the way she’s siding with Grandma on this one. Normally she’s completely unresponsive when she’s tailoring a dress, entirely in a world of her own, but today she’s clearly got enough of an attention span to call me out.
Grandma chuckles, and my heart softens. Every time I’ve tried to talk to her about my engagement, she’s just seemed so happy with the thought of me marrying Xavier that I don’t have the heart to tell her the truth — that he’s not at all what he seems. If she keeps smiling like that, I’ll play my part, even if Xavier’s promise of fidelity turns out to be false, as I suspect it is.
My stomach twists at the thought of being his wife, when it’s someone else he wants. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be the love of my husband’s life, the centre of his universe. I’ve always dreamt of being with someone that could break down my walls, someone that’d stay with me no matter what. I won’t be any of those things to Xavier, and having to mourn the loss of my dreams while smiling for my grandmother is proving to be harder than I expected.
“That dress over there,” Grams says, drawing my attention to a beautiful emerald evening gown on a hanger. “Wear that to the annual real estate gala. It’s this month, isn’t it?”
“Oh, I—” I haven’t attended the gala in years now, not since Xavier started to bring Valeria with him.
“He’s going to be your husband, Sierra. There’s no point in avoiding him. If anything, I’d advise that you start attending the same events again. You might as well get used to being around him, because you’ll be seeing a lot of him.”