SWNOVELS The Devil’s Reward: Chapter 34
She’s my light in the darkness, and no matter what happens, I know I’m always going to be searching for her.
I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be in this bed, with Quinn, holding on to her like I can never let her go. I should be at the hospital, waiting with my friends, my family, for news on Bullet, Rose, and Sage. It’s selfish of me, but I can’t go back. I’ll lose myself if I do. I’ll lose myself to the memories, to the pain, and then I’ll be no good to anyone.
My brothers will understand, but the guilt eats at me. I’m here with a woman, kissing her like my life depends on it, instead of being there. But I can’t leave. My body, my heart, and my mind won’t let me leave this bed. Leave her. Because I need her. I need her with everything inside me.
I don’t care that she looks like Sam. I don’t care that she has her own broken past. I only care that she’s safe, she’s unhurt, and she’s mine. Because that’s what she is. Mine. Had she turned me away tonight, told me to go and calm down, or offered sympathy and nothing more, that would be the end of us before we even got started.
So I’m going to be selfish. I’m going to hold Quinn, taste her, feel her against me, and let her help mend some of the broken pieces inside me. Just for tonight. Then I’ll get back to work on finding our mole. On taking down Dmitri and his men. Tonight, I need Quinn and the light only she can bring.
Her mouth is gentle on mine, like she’s worried she might push me too far. But it’s not far enough. Not enough to soothe the emotions swirling between us, but I don’t want to scare her, or hurt her in any way. So I let her set the pace, let her lead and keep myself under control.
She tastes sweet and pure, her lips almost shy as they move over mine. Her breathy sigh when I tease my tongue over her lower lip tells me she’s enjoying this. Enjoying our kisses. She opens her mouth and I sweep inside, tangling my tongue with hers as I deepen the kiss, one of my hands gripping her head tighter, while the other pulls her against me, letting her feel the heat of my body, and the hardness of my cock against her belly.
She lets out a gasp at the contact, but she doesn’t push me away. Instead, she kisses me back, then relaxes, ceding control to me. It’s heady. It’s powerful. It’s addicting. And I want more.
Carefully, I roll her over, my mouth never leaving hers as I ease on top of her, letting her feel my weight, feel all of me. She freezes for a moment, and I immediately pull away. I look down at her, but I don’t say anything, reading her face. She stares at me, green eyes glittering in the darkness of the room, but I don’t see fear. I see worry, but not fear. “Do you want me to stop, Quinn?” I ask her softly. “Because I will and we can sleep. I don’t want to pressure you.”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve had a man in my bed, Shadow,” she whispers. “Just be patient with me.”
“I have all the patience in the world for you, gorgeous,” I murmur. “We don’t need to do anything more than we’re doing now. But I think I’ll go crazy if I can’t kiss you again.”
Her face is pink, but she smiles softly. “Can’t have that now, can we?” she murmurs, and then she wraps her arms around my back and I don’t waste any time in lowering myself over her, bracing one arm beside her, and taking her mouth again.
This kiss is more passionate, though I don’t know if that’s because of her or me. All I know is that she lines up perfectly with me, and her hands are moving over my back, tracing it, nails lightly skimming, and it’s driving me crazy. It’s an innocent touch, but one that heats a fire under my skin with each stroke.
I bring my hand up to trace along her sides, smoothing over the swell of her hip and down her thigh. Her breath hitches as I move them back up, this time, moving under her shirt to trace along the soft skin there. It’s smooth under my hand, and I love the feel of each curve and dip. My cock throbs in my boxers, and the way she shifts under the attention of my hand doesn’t calm it. It only throws more fuel on the fire.
I don’t rush her, but I smooth my fingers along the outer swell of her breasts, and she twitches slightly under my touch. She gives a soft moan, and I take it as encouragement as I move my hand to cup her right breast, my thumb swirling over her peaked nipple. She moans louder this time, into my mouth, arching into my hand.
I gently tug on the peak, and she yanks her mouth away from mine, her breathing heavy as she stares at me. I watch her as I roll her nipple, teasing her and making her body arch into mine. Her face flushes darker, her eyes glaze over, and lips part as she sucks in her breath. Pleasure covers her face, so I know she’s not frightened. I pull away and she whimpers slightly, a smile pulling at my lips in response. She likes that I’m playing with her, and I want to see just how far she’ll let me go.
“I need this shirt off, gorgeous, so I can taste you,” I murmur to her. She hesitates for only a moment before she nods and lifts up enough so that I can pull it off. Vulnerability shows on her face, and I know this is a big step for her. I throw the shirt aside, and look down at her. I can barely make her out, but there’s enough light for me to know that she’s beautiful.
Her breasts are a good handful, with dark pink nipples that are hard from my attention. Her stomach is soft, with a gentle swell and some faded stretch marks. I have never seen anything more beautiful. So I tell her that. “You’re perfect, Quinn,” I tell her, lowering myself to press a kiss over her heart. She makes a small noise in her throat, but doesn’t push me away. “And I need to taste you.”
“Yes,” she breathes.
I don’t waste any time as I cup one breast and lift it to my mouth, taking the hard peak and sucking on it. Gently at first, until she arches into me, hand gripping the back of my head as I suck and lap at her. “Shadow, please,” she moans softly.
I don’t answer her; instead, I move my head to the other side, taking the other breast and giving it the same treatment. Desire beats in my blood, listening to her soft moans and gasps. I know she’s trying to be quiet, not wanting to wake the little girl sleeping down the hall, but I want to hear it. All of it. And I want to hear her scream. But not tonight.
Tonight is about comfort. Tonight is about exploration. Tonight is about her.
I pull my mouth away and press kisses down her ribs and over her stomach. She squirms under me, but I don’t let her pull away. “I want to taste you, Quinn,” I rasp as I raise my eyes to look at her. Her eyes widen at my obvious implication. “Are you going to let me, gorgeous? Let me taste you, and make you feel so good?”
She swallows hard. Unsure of what to say, and the vulnerability is back in full force, making her lose some of the blush. “Shadow-I…”
“Shhh,” I soothe, pressing a gentle kiss low on her belly, nuzzling her there. “I don’t expect anything else, Quinn. Let me make you feel good. Give you something back for everything you’ve given me tonight. Please?” She swallows hard, licks her lips, and then gives a quick nod of her head. I smile up at her and press another gentle kiss on her hip bone, then I tease her with my tongue. I need her to relax, and I want her to focus on the pleasure of my touch, my mouth on her, and nothing else.
She gives a low moan, tilting her hips toward my mouth, making me smile against her skin. Quinn might be nervous, but her body knows what it wants. Slowly, giving her the chance to change her mind, I work her pants and underwear down her legs, baring her to my gaze. When I pull them away and toss them aside, I look at her and my heart stutters in my chest.
She’s beautiful. Maybe by society’s standards her thighs are a little thick, but I don’t give a damn. She has never looked better. Between her thighs is her perfect pussy, coppery curls carefully trimmed and covering her mound. I look up at her and see Quinn is watching me with a worried expression. I need to stop staring so she doesn’t get too far into her head. “You’re beautiful, Quinn,” I rasp out. “I can’t wait to taste you.”
She blows out a breath, but the tension remains in her body. Well, I’ll have to take care of that, won’t I? I put my hands on her thighs and push them open. I’m glad I left my boxers on, because without that barrier, I probably would lose control. Something I can’t allow to happen. Not this time.
I lay belly down on the bed, lift her legs over my shoulders and I look up at her as her belly quivers. Arousal coats her, the smell of her making my mouth water. So many men complain about eating pussy, the selfish pricks. Me, I think it’s the perfect way to show a woman how much she matters. I love the way a woman will clench her thighs around your head, buck into your mouth, and beg you for more.
That’s what I want from Quinn, and I aim to get it.
“If you want me to stop, you tell me, gorgeous,” I purr at her, kissing the inside of her thigh. She nods, her eyes never leaving me. Her thigh quivers under the touch of my lips and I can tell she’s sensitive. From nerves or arousal, I’m not sure, but I aim to make it the latter.
I move slow, starting only with a swipe of my tongue over her slit, and she gasps, louder than before, her body jerking in response. I move my hand from her thigh to find her clit, brushing my thumb over it lightly, gauging her responsiveness. The moment my thumb circles the bundle of nerves, her eyes widen and her body jerks, but not away. I smile, seeing all I need to see. I pull my thumb away, put both hands under her ass, and lift her to my mouth to get to work.
“Oh my God,” she gasps, loud enough that she slaps a hand over her mouth, trying to stifle the noise. I want to reach up and yank it away so I can hear her, but I know she won’t want that, so I focus my attention on her.
I tease her with my tongue and lips, sucking and working her clit until she’s a writhing mess. Her pussy floods my beard with her arousal, and her hips twist and buck in my hands. When I move away from her clit and thrust my tongue inside her, she cries out, muffled by her hand, while the other reaches down to clench at my hair.
“Shadow, please,” she begs, body arching off the bed as I continue to fuck her with my tongue. “Oh, Shadow. Please. Please. Please.” She pulls on my hair, as if trying to make me stop, but then pulls me closer, pleading.
I move back to her pretty little clit, starting my onslaught all over again, but this time, I move my right hand from her ass and carefully ease two fingers inside her, stretching her, and moan at the feel of her body clenching down. I can feel her getting closer.
This is heaven. Utter perfection, watching my shy little Quinn fall apart in the best of ways. Seeing the flush of her impending orgasm as I move my fingers in and out of her, while I lick and suck at her clit. I feel the tremors start inside her, feel her legs clench on either side of my head, feel her heels dig in. The noises coming from her throat are a mixture of sobs, begging, and cries that I want to hear echo around the room.
I move my fingers faster, harder, chasing her release, and I curl my fingers to reach that spot that sends her flying. I move my mouth from her clit, drinking her down as she cums. Her body bucks wildly, and I have to move my other hand from her ass to hold her down, her cries loud behind her hand. Still, I don’t let up. Just as she starts to come down, I send her right back up.
“Shadow,” she gasps, begging. “Please. No more. I can’t…” She trails off as another orgasm takes her over, and her entire body shudders with it. My cock is throbbing and leaking pre-cum enough to soak the front of my boxers, but I don’t care. I pull my mouth away from her, and slowly pull my fingers out of her still fluttering core, bringing them to my mouth to lick it all off.
When I’m done, I look up at her, my chest heaving, beard soaked, and take her in as she lays there, eyes closed, mouth open as she gasps in air, her body twitching every so often with aftershocks. I gently pull her legs from my shoulders and put them back on the bed, before I settle over her and press gentle kisses to her neck.
“Oh my God,” she whispers finally, turning her head down just enough to look at me. “I don’t know whether to cheer or beg you to do that again,” she says dazedly.
I chuckle. “Gorgeous, I’ll do that as often as you let me, trust me.”
She blushes prettily, and then gives me a kiss. The kiss is slow and easy before she finally pulls away. Knowing she can taste herself does nothing to calm my raging erection, but I order it to forget it. Not that it gets the memo. I roll back to my side of the bed, dragging her with me so she’s on top of me. “Thank you, Shadow,” she suddenly whispers, looking at me.
“Why are you thanking me, gorgeous?” I ask, running my hand down her back, needing to touch her. “I should be the one thanking you.”
“I, uh, I haven’t felt that good in a long time. Or, well, that pretty. I know it’s bad form to talk about a former lover while in bed with your current one, but Bobby never treated me like you just did. He considered it a chore, and he hated chores. He preferred blowjobs to giving anything more than a cursory attempt to get me going.”
Damn, her husband sounds like a real bastard. Well, no, I knew he was, so why am I surprised? The man probably thought foreplay was barely worth his time as long as he got his rocks off. Fucker. “Well, I can promise that any time you want my mouth on this perfect pussy,” I purr at her, slipping my hand down her back, over her ass, and down between her legs to press my finger inside just enough to have her gasping and clenching down, “all you have to do is say the word. I’ll drop what I’m doing for a taste of you.”
She chuckles, then gasps when I pull my finger out and move it back up over her ass, cupping one cheek and loving the weight of it in my hand. “What about you?” she gasps out, distracting me.
“What about me?” I ask, nuzzling into her neck and breathing her in. She swallows hard, and then she’s pulling away, moving down my body and I know instantly what she’s doing. “Quinn,” I tell her, stopping her with a hand on her head when it’s at belly level. “This isn’t a tit for tat. I wanted to give you pleasure. I don’t expect anything in return.”
She takes a deep breath, looking uncertain, but her fingers play with the band of my boxers as she says, “I’m not good at this, so you’re going to have to be patient with me and tell me if I do something you don’t like.”
“Quinn, you don’t—”
“No,” she interrupts. “I want to do this, Shadow, I promise. But, I, uh, I was never good at it, but I want to try for you. I want to take some of the pain away, and I’m not ready for, uh, you know, regular sex. But I can do this. I want to do this. Will you help me?” Her eyes are direct on mine, but I see the nerves just behind the determination.
My balls draw up even tighter to my body, and I know I’ll be fighting not to blow the second those pretty lips touch my cock. I don’t answer her, I just reach up and put my hands over hers and help her pull my boxers down. She pauses when my cock pops free, right in her face, before she continues until my boxers are gone.
Slowly, like she’s afraid she’ll hurt me, she reaches her hand up and wraps it around my length, making me hiss out a breath at the contact. She freezes, and I force myself to grit out, “Gorgeous, your fingers feel so damn good. I’m not going to last.”
She looks at me for a moment, and then moves her hand up and down, the pace torturously slow, but I don’t stop her or make her go faster. It’s her show, and I’m along for the ride. She strokes me for a few minutes, slowly moving faster as she goes, and then adding a twisting move with her hand that has me growling low in my throat, and my stomach clenching. She watches me, and then she stops. I wait, watching her to see what her next move will be.
She licks her lips, looks at me, and then she moves her hair over her shoulder and slowly leans towards the head. My jaw tenses, and I have to grit my teeth to keep from shouting at the sensation of her breath on me. She presses a gentle kiss to the tip, and then her tongue peeks out and she licks it slowly, carefully. I growl, and my hand instinctively goes to her head, laying gently on top, just waiting.
She opens her mouth and takes me inside that hot, wet heat. I have to clench every muscle in my body to keep from spilling into her mouth at the shallow suckle of her lips. Her inexperience is obvious, but when she starts to take more of me into her mouth, I don’t give a damn.
At first she’s slow, careful. Testing her limits, and I let her set the pace. The maddeningly slow pace, but somehow, by some miracle, I don’t lose control. It’s slipping, but I’m still holding as tight as I can. Then, she looks up into my eyes when she starts to bob her head, sucking and twirling her tongue around me. “Fuck, yes, Quinn,” I hiss. “Yes, just like that. Take as much as you can, gorgeous. Suck me down like a good girl.”
Something flashes in her eyes, and she moves a bit faster, lashing at me with her tongue. I groan, the sound rumbling in my chest, and she seems to take it as encouragement as she goes faster, bringing her hand back up to circle around the base of my cock and moving it in time with her mouth.
The pleasure coursing through me is unending and I somehow manage to bite back my shout of pleasure. My release is burning in my balls, and I know I’m not going to last much longer. Not with Quinn looking up at me with those green eyes, with such trust and desire. “Quinn, I’m going to cum,” I warn her harshly, hand urging her head down, gently, with each bob of her head. “If you don’t want to swallow me down, back up and let me come all over those pretty breasts.”
She doesn’t pause, instead, she goes as fast as she can, gagging slightly. I snarl, unable to control the sound, and my release hits me hard and fast. Her eyes widen in surprise, but she swallows me all down as I hiss her name.
When I finally collapse back against the bed, chest heaving, body sated, I let go of her head, and she eases away, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand before she moves up over me. I wrap my arms around her and hold her close.
My emotions were swirling, and now they’re quiet. My mind is silent, and the only thing I can hear is my own rapid breathing and the pounding of my heart.
When I can finally think, the only thing that comes to mind is that this woman is the only one who will ever have a chance of putting me back together.
I don’t know how long we lay here, but when my phone buzzes, I know our little reprieve is over. She moves off me as I roll from the bed and grab my phone from my pants pocket. I quickly open it when I see Viper’s message.
Viper: Bullet, Rose, and Sage are out of surgery. All are critical, but the doctors are hopeful. Sniper’s put me, Hulk, and Crypt outside their rooms to guard them.
Relief hits me like a gut punch and I sink down to the bed. “Thank God,” I whisper.
“Shadow?” Quinn asks, worry clear.
“They’re out of surgery,” I tell her. “The doctors think they’ll be okay, but they have to watch them.”
“Thank God,” Quinn whispers and hugs my back in comfort.
I quickly type back.
Shadow: Thank God, brother. Do you need me back?
Viper: You with Quinn?
Shadow: Yeah, but if we’re looking for that son of a bitch tonight, I want to be there.
Viper: No, Sniper said for everyone to get some sleep. He wants a meeting in the morning though. Stay with Quinn, brother. I’ve told him where you are, and why, and he says to make sure your head’s on straight because come tomorrow, we’re going after this son of a bitch with everything we have.
Shadow: Fucking right. I’ll be at the clubhouse bright and early. Call me if you need me.
I put my phone down, and then turn back to Quinn. She pulls me into her arms and I allow myself to fully calm for the first time since everything happened. I can thank Quinn for that, because without her, I can only imagine where I would be right now. She’s my light in the darkness, and no matter what happens, I know I’m always going to be searching for her.