The Darkness We Hide

While waiting for the pizza to arrive, Gareth made himself useful, finding plates and napkins, and at Michelle’s request, a bottle of wine that had been a present from someone so long ago she couldn’t remember who’d given it to her.

“So,” Michelle said, sipping her wine, “How did you end up at the bar last night?”

“I actually picked it randomly off my phone,” he said fidgeting with a napkin. “I searched for bars near where I work with good reviews and that one was on the top of the list.”

“Ah,” she replied, making a mental note to tell the owner about this fact the next time she talked to her.

“How do you like living in Seattle?” she asked, intrigued by this man.

“It’s wet,” he answered, a smile on his face. “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen this much rain in my life.”

Michelle laughed, nodding her head. He wasn’t wrong, it rained a lot.

“Seattle does have its perks, despite that,” she said.

With a sigh he covered her hand with his other one.

“Yes it does,” he replied looking at her.

Slowly, he leaned in to kiss her, but before their lips touched the buzzer for her door rang and Gareth left to retrieve the pizza.

When he returned, Michelle tried to get up and help but he motioned her down.

“I’ve got this,” he said, handing her a loaded plate.

“Thanks,” she said gratefully accepting the pizza.

When Gareth had his slice and sat back down, Michelle cleared her throat.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry… about your… about Caroline,” she ventured, not sure if she wanted to reopen the conversation, but needing to say it nonetheless.

“Thank you,” he said, keeping his eyes on his plate.

“I know how it feels to want to get away from memories. It’s actually how I ended up in Seattle too,” Michelle said, taking a bite.

“My parents were killed in a car accident on my sixth birthday,” she explained. “I didn’t have any other family, so I was put into foster care. I never found one that would keep me longer than a year, so I bounced from home to home. After a while I didn’t even bother to unpack my bag, I just didn’t see the point. On my eighteenth birthday I took what little I had, all the money I’d saved from working part-time, and moved out here. I found a job waiting tables in the bar, and I’ve been there ever since.”

Feeling tears well up in her eyes thinking about her parents, she turned her face from him and surreptitiously wiped them away.

“Sorry,” she sniffled, turning back to him slightly confused by her admission. “I don’t usually talk about it.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine how that must have felt,” he said, leaning forward. “It must have been so hard for you.”

“It still is sometimes,” she said, absentmindedly tucking her hair behind her ear. “Not having a mom or dad I can talk to about things.”

“Was that what the party was about last night?,” he asked, sitting forward. “I mean, I saw the cake and everyone buying you drinks. Was it your birthday?”

“Yeah,” she smiled.

“Well, happy birthday,” he cheered, lifting his glass to her.

With a weak smile, she clinked her cup with his. “Thanks.”

“Wow,” Gareth said, finally taking his first bite, “you were right about the jalapeno’s. They add a nice bite to contrast the sweetness in the pineapple.”

“Uh huh,” Michelle nodded, her mouth too full to speak.

When they’d eaten their fill, Gareth pulled her legs onto his lap and began massaging her feet.

“I’ve been wanting to ask you something,” Michelle ventures, sipping at her wine, “but I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Ask away,” he replied, “isn’t that how relationships work, be they friendly or intimate?”

“I guess,” she replied, steeling her nerves. “Your scars. They’re from the war?”

Gareth’s hands frozen on her ankle. Closing his eyes, he heaved a deep sigh.

“Yes,” he replied softly, “I told you about the ambush. Well, it was an IED. It turned our hum-v into a tumbling inferno. I was pinned inside as it caught fire.”

“Oh,” Michelle breathed, feeling ill.

“I was the only one in my squad to make it out,” he continued.

“Oh Gareth,” she sniffed, fighting back tears. “I’m so sorry.”

“My psychiatrist keeps telling me I need to let it out,” he said, gently wiping tears from her cheek. “I have to admit, this is the first time I’ve been able to talk about it without getting angry.”

They sat together the rest of the afternoon into the evening, having a very pleasant conversation, talking mostly nonsense, never really covering any subject too deeply, simply dipping their toes into the waters of each others lives.

Noticing the sky beginning to darken, Michelle wished time would stop for just a while. It had been such a wonderful day, she couldn’t remember when she’d enjoyed spending time in conversation with someone so much.

Taking her plate and cup into the kitchen with his, he washed everything and put them away before returning to sit next to Michelle.

“Well,” Gareth sighed half an hour later, looking at his watch, “I should get going.”

“I wish you could stay longer,” Michelle replied, disappointment in her voice. “This has been nice.”

“Yes, it has,” he replied, rising. “Maybe we could do it again.”

“Hopefully I’ll be able to walk,” Michelle smiled up at him, “and we can actually go out.”

“That would be fun,” Gareth said, reaching down to caress her cheek.

Stopping halfway to the door, Gareth turned, retraced his steps back to Michelle and pulled her into a crushing embrace. His lips on hers were cautiously searching for a response. Eagerly, she returned his kiss, lacing her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Without thought, she wrapped her legs around his waist, gripping him tightly as she gyrated her hips against his, need blooming deep inside of her.

Time lost all meaning as their mouths and bodies moved together, desire thick on the air.

Slowly, Gareth managed to reign in the urge to take Michelle against the wall, and he lowered her to the ground.

“I should leave before this goes too far,” he breathed, panting slightly.

“I wish you could stay,” she replied, curling her fingers under his collar.

“I really wish I could as well,” he said, his voice husky with lust, “but I think, if we’re going to do this right, that we should go slowly.”

Her face fell, knowing that while she wanted to beg him to stay, she couldn’t.

“We should probably trade phone numbers if we are going to see each other again,” he said smiling.

“Yeah,” she sighed, laying her head on his chest. “We definitely should do that.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” Gareth said, caressing her cheek with one last kiss. “If that’s okay?”

“I’ll be waiting,” she breathed, slowly releasing him.

With that he left, leaving Michelle feeling happy and sad at the same time. She spent the rest of the evening replaying the day in her mind, wishing that Gareth could have stayed longer.