SWNOVELS The Dark Elf’s Surprise Baby: Chapter 21
“Can we talk?” I ask, swallowing hard. Harper’s eyes are on me and they’re cold, all warmth from them vanished the minute she looked at me.
“I have nothing to say to you,” she says, pulling her daughter close.
I glance down at the little girl and my heart skips a beat. She does have eyes like mine. They’re the same shade of navy blue and they have the same curve of the lashes. My heart is aching.
“Your daughter is very adorable,” I tell her, trying not to break down in front of the little girl. My eyes are watering but I blink them rapidly, trying not to cry. I really fucked everything up last night, didn’t I?
I had another chance with her and I screwed up. I spouted off poisonous words and hurt her, both emotionally and even physically. I can’t believe I did that! I woke up this morning and everything came crashing down on me. Drunk me messed up the only chance that sober me might have had with Harper.
My words were needlessly cruel, designed to provoke and wound. How could I do that to her? How could I treat her so badly? I hate myself for what I did but I need to talk to her, to find out the truth.
“Please,” I ask quietly, holding my hands in front of me. “Can we go somewhere private and talk?”
“No,” Harper says firmly. “Go away, Demethys.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. I notice that Kerym is coming down for breakfast now as well. I don’t care that he’s here. I’ll say it in front of him and Layla if I have to. “I’m so sorry for everything I said and did last night. I was wrong. It was wrong of me to do that to you. Please, Harper,” I plead. “You didn’t deserve a word I said.”
Harper’s eyes narrow at me and she glances down at her daughter before pushing the girl away, towards Layla, and grabbing me by the arm, dragging me away.
She pulls me into Kerym’s office and shuts the door. “What are you doing?” she snaps, crossing her arms and waiting for me to explain myself.
I stare at her for a moment, just taking her in. Gods she’s so beautiful! I was a fool to speak to her the way that I did last night. I’d be lucky if she forgave me but I have to take the chance.
“I’m alive, Harper,” I whisper, stepping up close. “Look at me. I’m alive.” I reach out to touch her but she swats my hand away.
My body stiffens at that. I know I deserved it but I just…I need her in my life again. “Harper, I’m alive. I’m here. Please, come back home with me. I’ll take care of you. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll walk on hot coals if you’ll come back with me,” I tell her.
“I mean it. I’ll swim to the deepest parts of the ocean or climb the highest mountain. I’ll get you the stars from the heavens if you’ll forgive me,” I promise her. “But I need you with me at home. Life without you is awful. You brought so much light and happiness into my home and I missed you every single day you were gone.”
“Why should I go back with you?” Harper asks, forcing out a hollow, empty laugh. “Can you think clearly now? Are you sober enough to realize that all those accusations were baseless? Isn’t it completely obvious? Adelaide is your daughter, or are you still too drunk to realize?”
Her words confirm the suspicions I’ve had all morning. My eyes well up. I’m a bastard. A fool. I accused her of such heinous things and it wasn’t true. She thought I died and fled to protect our child. Of course she did. That’s exactly how the Harper I remember would have acted.
My self-loathing only grows. I throw my arms around her and pull her to me, hugging her tightly. She struggles against my hold but I can’t let go just yet. “Oh gods, Harper. I never should have accused you. You were always so perfect. So amazing.”
She stops moving. “I don’t deserve you. You were all alone giving birth to our beautiful baby, our agelios. You are more amazing than anyone else in the world. She’s so beautiful. I can’t believe how much she looks like you.”
Harper isn’t speaking or moving. “I hate myself for what I did. In my mind, you were always so far above me that it made sense you would leave me for someone better. I never deserved you and I still don’t. I couldn’t cope. Couldn’t go on.”
I take a deep breath. “I let my emotions get the better of me when Kerym told me you had a child. You went missing for years and then show up with a child that by all accounts is human, and I couldn’t think straight. I was devastated.”
Tears roll down my cheeks as I breathe in her delicious, floral scent. “I’m alive, Harper,” I tell her again. “You thought I was dead but I’m not. I’m right here. We can go home now. Together.”
At this though, Harper moves away from me, extracting herself from my arms. She stares at me with a dark look in her eyes. “Do you know the reason why I left?” she asks me. I wait for her to continue.
“I left because one of your servants told me that you were dead! That you died and I would be sold off as if I was just one of the pieces of your property! I had just found out I was pregnant. I was scared! What if they tried to separate me from our child? What if they sold our baby girl into slavery as well? I couldn’t let them do that.”
She reaches out and smacks my shoulder hard, beginning to sob. “You fucking asshole! You loved me but you gave me no protection if something should happen! I was frightened out of my mind!”
She smacks me again, on the other shoulder. “You had no idea how hard it was to do this alone! I hated it! I missed you so much! You don’t have a clue how badly I missed you, you bastard! I couldn’t stop crying for days. For weeks! For months. For two years, I cried for you nearly every single day!”
She takes a shuddering breath and sniffles. “I hated myself for being so weak. For missing you. I hated that I had to be strong for Addie. To raise her by myself as a half-elf in a world that hates half-breed children.”
My heart aches at the thought of her facing the world with our daughter, all alone and trying so hard to be brave, to be strong. I can’t let her go through that any longer. And how dare my staff try to hurt my beloved by telling her I was dead and she would be sold off. I would never let something like that happen, even if I did die.
The rage bubbles up. All this time…all this time lost because someone lied! Because someone thought they could separate us! “I’ll get to the bottom of this,” I vow. “I’ll figure out what happened with my staff. I’ll fire all of them if I have to!”
Harper breathes out slowly, staring at me. “Please, Harper,” I plead. “Come back with me. We can fix things. We can fix this. I was hurt at the time but I’m alright now.”
She continues staring at me, so still and silent that I’m afraid I’ve messed things up beyond repair. “Please?” I ask. She seems to waver, wiping her eyes.
“No,” she shakes her head, finally speaking. “As of now, I have a new lease on life. I’m not the same old shy, timid Harper that you once knew. I learned how to be strong and stand on my own two feet.”
“And you can still be strong but you don’t have to stand on your own anymore,” I argue back.
“Demethys,” she says, sighing. “I had to learn to live my life without you. And I don’t need you anymore. Adelaide doesn’t need you. Why would I bother going back?”
Her words pierce my heart like the arrow that nearly ended my life. It feels as though my heart shatters into a million pieces. I can’t do anything but stare at her as she turns on her heel and walks out of the room, head held high and not bothering to glance back at me.
Gods! I’ve screwed it all up. My hurt and anger and feelings of betrayal got to be too much and I let it boil over into my confrontation with Harper instead of listening to her like she wanted. And now she’s walking out of my life forever.
Is it really over? I can’t let it be over. I can’t live without her. I’ve got to find a way to win her back. But would she even listen? Or have I hurt her too badly?
And is it because of my cruel words or is it the deep hurt that came from thinking I was dead? I pushed her too far and now there’s no coming back. The tears spill from my eyes as I think about how I messed up my only chance.
I didn’t mean to hurt her so much. I was drunk and an emotional wreck at the time and it all came spilling out. Well, I’ve really put my foot in it now. There’s no coming back from the dead this time.