The Damned Princess

I collapsed; I couldn’t wrap my head around everything that just happened. I did not even have the strength to wipe the tears running down my face. I didn’t know how long have I been sitting here and crying.

The moon was shining brightly in the sky when I heard my father’s voice calling out my name. When he saw me, he ran towards me pulled me in his arms “my princess, what happened” he asked and wiped tears off my face.

“You were right papa, everything you said was correct” I sobbed. He rocked me back and forth “what happened tell me”. I repeated everything sobbing the whole time, “what did I do papa, how do I make it right” I asked.

“We can only pray that things don’t go like they seem right now”, he said softly. “I’m sorry, I should have listened to you. Please forgive me” I sobbed. He rubbed my back soothingly and whispered, “you don’t have to apologize, Amore, I know you did everything with a pure intent”.

“I’m sorry, please make it right. He’s my life, he fills that huge hole punched in my chest papa. He’s the only hope I had to survive without a mate, please make it right. Make everything how it was before”, I kept crying and repeating all this.

He picked me up in his arms and carried me to my room. He tucked me in like he did when I was little and sat with me, saying sweet things, telling me how much he loves his little princess. His voice helped the sleep take over me.

Time was passing, I don’t how many days it has been since that night. Every day was a reminder of the mistakes I have made. The hole of emptiness was punched back in my chest, I never saw this coming.

He has not returned since that night. I don’t know where he is, I don’t what he is doing, I sent a few men to look out for him but they could not trace him. I still have the hope that maybe when he comes back, he will have his messed-up feeling sorted out and everything will go back to normal.

I was a strong person and even stronger lycan. Now I am just a week mess. I can’t sleep and if I do, I wake up crying because of nightmares. There are moments where my lungs start closing up and I can’t breathe anymore and if I am alone at that time I pass out.

Most of the nights Liam stays in my room because he is too worried for me. I keep telling him to not do this but honestly, I am glad. I feel really scared at nights, I hate the nightmares, I hate panicking and passing out.

It’s worse than not finding my mate. Before I was lonely and empty but I never knew what, I was exactly missing. But now, I don’t have the one person I invested my whole self into. I gave him all the love I had and I don’t think I will ever be able to stop.

One night, Li was setting his bed on the floor of my room, “no brother” I said. He looked at me confused “what no Enna”. “Come sit with me”, he left everything and sat next to me. I continued “first I want to thank you for all you’ve been doing for me in the past few weeks”.

“You don’t have to thank me sorellina” he interrupted. “No let me say it, thank you but I’m fine now and I want you to sleep in your room now, I hate seeing you sleeping on this uncomfortable setting”, I said. He tried to interrupt me again but I did not allow him “I know you’re worried Li but you have to take care of yourself too and I’m fine now”.

He was quiet for a moment like in deep thoughts and then suddenly his eyes lit up, “Enna do you remember when we were little, sometimes you would be afraid to sleep alone”. “Yeah”, I said confused. “You remember I installed something in your room so that you could signal me when you were afraid and needed me” he smiled brightly.

Now I had an equally big smile on my face. When I was little, sometimes I’d get scared at night. Liam’s room was down the hallway and he could not hear my voice if I would call out his name and my parents had a separate wing from ours.

One day he had installed a thread in my room, which when pulled, will ring the wind chime in his room and the noise will wake him up. We never told anybody about this, and the thread was hanging from behind the family portrait above my bed so nobody ever saw it either.

There were multiple times when I used it and my brother would be there for me in a second. When I grew old, I stopped using it and forgot we had something like that. I hugged him tight, “I can never thank you enough for everything you do for me brother”.

He kissed my head and said “you’re my sorellina, you don’t have to thank me. I love you a lot Enna and I’ll always be by your side”. A tear escaped my eye but it was a happy one. I smiled brightly “I love you too brother”. We said good night and he went to his room.

It has been about five months now; he has not come back yet. Father thinks that maybe he will never come now and it will be good for everyone. Nobody knows what will be good for me. My family tries to avoid his name as much as they can, they think someday I’ll forget him and move on.

I don’t think any amount of time will ever be able to erase him from my memories. I still wish that he will come back to me and be my child and complete my small world again. I don’t go out of my room much, I try most of the times to get my food served in my room, which I hardly ever touch.

That night I was lying awake in my bed, like most of the nights. My head playing good old memories and my heart aching for them to be real. I heard a racing heartbeat somewhere near me and the sound of someone breathing but there was no sound of footsteps.

There is only one person who has such light footsteps and the guts to approach my room at this hour of the night. I sat on my bed; my body was shaking. I did not know what to expect, do I call for help or do I talk to him first. It was pitch black, so I still could not see any figure approaching me.

“I know you’re aware of my presence Amore” his voice came from my window, “only you can know when I’m coming no matter how careful I’m”. “Just because I didn’t give birth to you, doesn’t mean I’ll not have that connection with you”, I said in a shaky voice.

He removed the curtains making the moonlight shine in my room. “No Amore, this connection is not of a child and a mother, it’s your heart trying to guide you to mine, trying to make us one” he answered in a soft voice. I did not react; he is still living with this absurd thought in his head.

I don’t want him to vanish again but I can’t fuel this disgusting thought. He sat next to me and grabbed my hand, “you look so weak, I know you’ve not eaten properly since I’ve left and I’m sorry for leaving you like this but I left to do important things”.

“I’ve made all the arrangements for us, I got us a house where nobody will ever be able to bother us and I know for sure you’ll love the place. I know you love me, Amore it’s time you accept it as well and come with me”.

“I don’t want to force you, Amore please don’t make me”, he said this last sentence threateningly making me shiver. I was quiet because I did not know what to say. I wanted to slap some sense into him but I also don’t want to lose him. I had not prayed to the moon goddess in ages but right now I was begging her to make things right.

“Come on Sienna get up, you don’t need to bring anything with you, I’ve got everything arranged”, he said and got up. “I’m not going anywhere Heracles” I finally said, “I’ve already made things clear to you, let this disgusting thought go and come back to us”.

He let out a really low growl, like warning me but I still did not move. He bent down to my level and grabbed my hair, “I told you don’t make me force you” he said slowly. Tears were flowing from my eyes; I did not even have the energy to push him away from me. I did not know my love for him will make me so weak that I won’t be able to fight him.

I could not believe that I turned a precious little boy into a monster. He brought his hand to my face, I flinched. “Please don’t cry my love, I hate to see you upset”, he said and wiped tears off my face. “Why won’t you understand, there’s a reason you didn’t find your mate, we are supposed to be together”, he said sweetly.

I smiled, “you know when I didn’t find my mate for so long my parents suggested that I let a guy who I like mark me. I decided that day, either my mate will mark me or I’ll die without one, what makes you think you can make me change my decision”.

He pulled my hair harder; my hand went to the wall searching for the thread that will end this nightmare for me. “You don’t want to do the mistake of denying me because I’ll mark you Sienna, I’ll make you mine and I’ll make sure you don’t have the idea of any other man in your head”, he said.

“I already made the mistake of bringing a low life like you in my life and making you a royal” I spat. I finally found that thread and pulled on it, I don’t know if it did anything or not because it felt stuck but I kept pulling it until it broke. He growled loudly and dipped his head low to my neck and sniffed me.

I felt so sick at that moment, I wanted to throw up. Somebody kicked my door open; I was hoping it was my brother because no guard can fight this monster. Liam pulled him away from me and threw a punch to his face, I could hear the sound of bones cracking. Heracles had his eyes trained on me.

“You’re still waiting for you mate which is why you reject me, I’ll wait with you Amore, and the day you find him, I’ll tear him apart in front of your eyes and claim you as mine” his voice thundered. My eyes widened, the fear in my eyes worked as fuel for his sick soul. My parents came running in my room.

My father was so angry his lycan took over him which made fear flash in Heracles’ eyes. He pushed my brother back and jumped out of the window, my father jumped after him and my brother followed. My mother ran to me and pulled me in for a hug.

I was sobbing, his words were ringing in my ears. I know I have always said that I accepted that I will never have a mate but deep down, there was this tiny dot of hope that was still shining to find him and now I don’t know if I even want to find my mate because I love Heracles too much to end him and I won’t survive a minute in this world if what he said happens.

Jayson was holding onto me so tight trying to stop me from crying. “My father couldn’t catch him that day. Later he decided that I leave because Heracles might come back and I would be safer among the humans” I continued sobbing.

“The day I was leaving, wife of the beta he killed came to see me, I still remember her words clearly, you created a monster princess and we paid the price for that, the day you’ll pay for your sins is not far, she cursed me and I’m living in fear of that curse every day”.

I cried for so long and Jay did not move once from my side. He held me tight to his chest and kept whispering sweet things to me. “I don’t want anything to happen to you Jayson”, I said. He pulled my head up and looked straight in my eyes, “nothing will ever happen to me Amore, I’ll always be by your side” he said and placed his lips on mine.