The Damned Princess

I was spending my weekend ignoring my mate’s calls and messages. I have like hundred text messages from him by now, I read them but I didn’t respond. After what happened yesterday, I don’t know how to talk to him. I told Becky everything and she thinks I should tell him the truth but I don’t agree with her.

I was missing my parents so much. Back home, my father would take care of every little thing about me. My father always says that after my mother I’m the only woman he fell in love with, he only named me Sienna Amore.

Whenever I looked at him and mamma together, I always wished to have a beautiful relationship like theirs someday. It’s been so long since we have talked, I knew papà would be busy at this time so I video called my mother, at least I’ll be able to see her.

She answered the call the second time. ”Ciao piccola mia" (hey my baby) she said in her melodious soft tone. My mother is really beautiful, just by looking at her you can tell she’s a queen. ”Come stai mamma" (how are you mom) I asked her.

"Sto bene, ma cosa c’è di sbagliato in te principessa" (I’m good but what’s wrong with you princess) she asked. Tears filled my eyes, ”Niente, mi mancano solo te e papà" (Nothing, I just miss you and dad). I didn’t want to cry because it’ll worry her and father.

"Ci manchi tanto tesoro, vogliamo davvero venire a conoscerti tre" (we miss you so much darling, we want to come to meet you three) she said softly. I could see the pain on her face, she was heartbroken when she found out that we had to leave Italy.

“Where is papà and how is he?” I asked her. ”È in riunione con tutti gli Alpha" (he’s in a meeting with all the alphas) she answered. ”C’è qualcosa che non mi stai raccontando di Sienna" (there’s something you’re not telling me Sienna) she said.

I smiled remembering how I could never hide anything from her and said “you always knew when I’d hide something from you, mamma”. She laughed ”tu sei la mia bambina Sienna, certo che lo so" (you’re my child Sienna, of course I’d know), ”Ora dimmi cosa ti preoccupa" (now tell me what’s troubling you) she said softly.

“I found my mate, mamma” I whispered. She beamed and tears of joy fell from her eyes ”questa è una buona notizia principessa" (that’s such a good news princess). “He’s a human”, I said and a few tears escaped my eyes. “I’m scared mamma, I wish you were here with me” I sobbed. ”Oh, mio tesoro, non essere triste" (Oh my baby, don’t be sad), ”tutto andrà bene molto presto" (everything will be fine very soon) she said.

“Don’t tell anything to papa yet, I don’t want him to be worried” I told her and she nodded in understanding. “Wait for a second okay and don’t hang up”, I told her and ran downstairs to Li and Becky. We all talked to her, she was crying so much telling us how much she misses us, making us cry with her. Before she hung up, I told her ”Dì a papà che mi manca e dagli il mio amore" (tell dad I miss him and give him my love). She said I love you to us and hung up.

At night I went out for a run, all the emotions were suffocating me. I went to the lake in the middle of the jungle and sat there going through all the texts Jayson has sent me. The last text I got from him was a few hours ago. It said- You can ignore my calls all you want Amore; how will you ignore me when we meet.

He was right, how will I manage to ignore him when we meet. Moon goddess why can’t my life be normal like others. I spent the whole night thinking about him and re-reading all his texts. When it was morning, I ran back home.

“I don’t want to go today guys” I was whining. “Why”, Liam asked. “I don’t know, I think I’ve got the fever” I said and they both laughed. “You know we don’t get fever Enna”, Becky said. “Yeah but other people don’t know that, tell the teachers and V that I’m dying from fever or something” I groaned. “You’ve been sulking around the whole weekend; we’re not leaving you alone here”, Liam said. I just sighed.

V has not stopped annoying me from the very moment she saw me. I have warned her so many times but she wouldn’t listen, if I didn’t love her, I’d beat her to death. When I told her this, she laughed at me like I cracked some jokes. And for some reason, she has been saying the phrase Mamma mia in like every sentence. Liam laughed so loud when he heard it. Becky even explained to her when to use but she won’t stop.

This class was the one with him. I didn’t want to go but I have not seen him for so long and I know that’s the reason why I’ve been so cranky the whole day or weekend. I was sitting at my usual corner seat, with my head down.

I could hear people around me, I could hear their distinct heart beats. I could hear footsteps inside and even the one’s in the hallway. I was hit with his scent when he entered the room, I didn’t look up hoping that he won’t notice me. I could feel him walking in my direction and he sat next to me.

“Hey Amore” he whispered. Even his voice affects me so much, I wanted to talk to him but I decided against it and didn’t even look at him. He placed his hand on the small of my back, my heart skipped a beat and my breathing became heavy.

He started making circles there with his thumb, the warmth of his hand felt so good and soothing. Our teacher came in and greeted so I had to look up because I didn’t want his attention on me. Jay still didn’t remove his hand and I was trying my best to not look at him.

“How long do you think you can keep up with this charade Amore” he whispered. I turned towards him; I was lost for a moment then I said coldly “till you get the message that I don’t want you near me”. Hurt flashed in his eyes for a second but it was gone the moment he blinked, I turned away because tears filled my eyes.

I wanted to tell him that I didn’t mean it but I can’t. He pulled me close making me gasp and said “you pushing me away won’t make me forget what happened”. Before I could say anything else, he got up and left the class, the teacher was calling out his name but he didn’t even respond to him.

Around two in the morning I was wide awake when Liam knocked on my door. I called him in, he looked worried when I asked him what was wrong, he told me “Jayson’s in a bar and is very drunk. He was getting into his car to drive himself home but our guards somehow managed to stop him and took him back inside. They called me to ask what to do”.

I was on my feet in a flash and told him “tell them we’re coming over there and tell them to not let him drive”. He nodded and left, I quickly got dressed and went down where Liam was already waiting for me. “You can go sleep Li; I’ll go alone”, I told him. “No, I’ve already told Becky I’m coming with you”, he said. I didn’t want to argue, so we left quickly.

I found him sitting at the bar, he was smoking and had a drink in his hand. I quickly rushed to him “what the hell are you doing Jay”. He looked like he couldn’t believe I was there “well I could ask you the same thing Amore”, he slurred.

“Come on I’m taking you home” I ordered him and snatched the cigarette out of hand and crushed it with my feet. I called Liam in because he would not listen to me because I killed his cigarette. I didn’t know if I should laugh at him or to slap some sense into him.

We finally put him in his car, I was in the driver seat and Liam was driving his car and the guards were following us. “You hurt me today Amore”, he said. “I don’t know why it hurts when you push me away. Why do you push me away Sienna Amore Castello”?

I didn’t say anything, I was really mad at him right now. He kept on talking about how I hurt him today and how much he misses me. I wanted to cry at that moment and apologize to him for hurting him.

We were finally at his place. Rayn opened the door for us. “Oh god where did you find him, I’ve been calling him for hours”, he said. “He was in some bar”, I told him. We took him to his room and helped him to his bed and he passed out. I looked at Rayn he understood I wanted a moment with him and he left saying “I’ll be downstairs”.

I sat next to him, “I’m sorry love, I never wanted to hurt you. I don’t want to push you away instead, I want to spend the rest of my life with you but it’s not that simple. I’m sorry for hurting you Jay” I whispered and kissed his forehead. I watched him sleep for a few more minutes and then left his room.

Rayn was in the living area and Layla was also with him, he said “thank you for bringing him home Sienna”. I smiled “it’s okay” and added, “I’ll leave now, my brother’s waiting outside for me”. They both said good night and I left. Liam was outside talking to Christafano and Piero, the guards. I thanked them for informing me and asked them to contact me directly next time and not disturb my brother. We left after that.

We were silent for a while; Liam broke it by asking “do you not trust me with your mate’s safety Enna”. “No Li, never think like that, you’re my brother, tu sei la mia famiglia. I just hate it that you and Becky are always dragged into my mess” I told him.

“You’re my little sister Enna and we’re family, so it’s not your mess, we’ll always deal with everything together”, he said. Tears started flowing from my eyes “I’m sorry brother, I just want you and Becky to have a normal life in which you don’t have to spend every moment worrying about me. Where you don’t have to leave your mate alone at night to help me out”.

“I love my mate sorellina (little sister), but that doesn’t mean I love you any less, and Becky loves you as much as I do. Even if our lives were normal, we’d still choose to live with you and our family” he said.

“I never doubted your love for a second Li, you know how much you and Becky mean to me, I just wish we could live without worrying about what might happen” I sighed. “There will be a day Enna, when all four of us, maybe six we might take V and whoever her partner will be with us”, he said making me laugh. “I hope” I wished.