The Curse of Thir

A key factor in being human, as Xylee discovered, was to ignore how you felt and behave in a manner which seemed appropriate, whilst still managing to show emotions that factored in with the correct situations. After this enlightened moment of discloser she found herself dangling half off of Naveens bed, waiting for her to return from another outing with Clanece, they hadn’t gone far due to the restrictions of Xylees necklace but still. Of course Xylee knew she hadn’t gone completely alone with Clanece, a few guards including Jules, so she was certain nothing would happen to her. Fairly certain.

Blood clogged her brain and she gave into the feelings of her discovery for a split second and slipped off. Perhaps she should ask for some medicine to make it go away, maybe Maverick or Seth could help?

’What if they just think I’m sick and twisted? Or delusional? I must be. The whole forgetting everything must be tampering with my insides.’ She nodded at her thoughts. There was no way in Null feelings like this were normal and no way it could form out of nothing and happen so suddenly. Sighing loudly she got up, she was nowhere near her former self and that was the best reason she could think of. Wasn’t she more sure of herself and sure of her standings with the Dreag? Not that she would ever admit it, but being a Dreag demon child was far easier than being a heroine who was slightly less than human.

Her hand hovered over the door knob as she contemplated finding Seth. She twisted the knob and was greeted by two guards she was unfamiliar with.

“Can we help you miss?”

“... oh umm... do you know where Seth is?”

“He should be on break, generally goes to the front gardens I think. You want us to get him?”

“No... I’ll go to him.”

“You want an escort miss?”

“No it’s ok, thank you, I’ll go to him.” Being treated this nicely had an odd feeling to it. The cold in the hallways made her shiver; luckily the tailor had made three new coats for her and such occasions. She chose the olive brown leather coat adorned with a small golden emblem of the Kings. It fit perfectly and trapped her own body heat in keeping her warm.

She made her way down the passage way tiptoeing lightly down the curving stair case and out the front entrance, which was opened up by two very large, surly, looking guardsmen. The iron gate was left open most days so Xylee merely strolled out and into the front gardens. Seth could be seen sitting on one of the few benches in the gardens; he seemed content with staring at the grass and chewing on some particularly dry looking bread.

Xylee cleared her throat as she quietly approached him, as not to scare him. He turned about mid chew and nodded politely in greeting. She sat next to him with a foot of space between them.

“Are you well?”

Seth smiled and nodded in response, but continued to eat the dry bread. They fell silent as Xylee gazed at the grass too.

“Are... you allowed to eat here in the gardens?” Xylee chose the first thought that came to mind to break the silence.

Seth looked quizzically at her and held up his bread.

“Right... silly question.” Silence followed again.

“Am I... acceptable?” Xylee fidgeted with a wooden button.

“I do not follow?” Seth looked at Xylee then back at the grass. She shifted finding the bench chilly.

“Am I likeable... could somebody like me?” Her cheeks flushed with insecurity, she’d never felt that such things were important, but at that moment it seemed necessary to ask such things.

“Do you mean as in personality and beauty?” Xylee nodded at his question.

“I’d think it difficult for anybody who has learnt to know you, not to like you.” She made an attempt to ask another question but lost her nerve and just nodded again.

“Is there a reason you ask absurd questions?”

“No.” Her response quickly flew from her tongue and made Seth arch an eyebrow, but he said nothing.

“... it’s... I.... can I consider you a friend Seth?”

“Of course you can Xylee.”

“...Naveen is my friend too, she said friends speak... of things such as feelings?”

“Occasionally yes. Although not so much amongst male friends, we find more comfort in actions than words.”

“Oh... that sounds easier.”

“At times yes it is, but I cannot guarantee that it always works. The feelings that may have caused you trouble may not disappear unless it is spoken about. Even then it may remain, it is complicated.”

“So certain feelings... may remain... Forever?”

“Possibly.”

His words made Xylee think of feeling the way she did forever, it enhanced the painful beating in her heart and without realizing it she found her hands clasping at her chest as if it would still the beat.

“Are you in pain?”

“...I think so.”

Her fingers crushed the fine leather tightly.

“Does it ever go away?” Looking at Seth she could see that he knew the pain she felt well enough without her even needing to explain.

“With time it lessens. But no, it never goes away.” He continued gazing intently at the grass, finding a memory only he could feel in its wispy green clumps.

“Isn’t there something I can take?”

His laughter wasn’t filled with joy but it was loud enough to echo in the empty garden.

“You are truly innocent Xylee.”

“So that’s a no.” She smiled sadly. “Is there some way I can make it better?”

“Honesty, no matter the cost, to the one that pains you so. Then you will be given the time you require too heal.”

“There’s a price?”

Seth nodded sadly, he smiled at a face that he found behind his eyes.

“It differs. You could lose them with your truth, maybe loose them later to somebody else or death, they may even choose to ignore your truth and this revelation may or may not bring you to a desired outcome. But if you get what you desire, the pain becomes pleasant and you’d do anything to keep it.” He shrugged.

“But I just became friends with her I ca-” She clamped her mouth shut with her hands, but she’d already said what she had not wanted to. “Am I... am I feeling something wrong? Am I... wrong?”

“No Xylee, you aren’t. You are just different. Love is love. It hurts when you least expect it yet it brings you to the most beautiful joy you could ever find.” He stood up and stretched. “I wish you luck on that journey, I hope it brings you more joy than pain.” He tucked the last bit of dry bread into a tiny satchel on his hip. “I have to get back to my duties, remember to speak with her.” With that he left her to contemplate things she had never considered before.