SWNOVELS Chapter Killing Thoughts About Her.
XIMUN
“Mayana,” Ximun repeated, his heart beating in a way that reminded him of the hell he faced when she rejected their bond barely days after they confessed the love they had for each other. “What are you doing here?”
The slightly tall woman adjusted her posture and sat in a way that gave him a full view of her face and neck. “I came back, Ximun. I had to.”
“Mayana, the curse was the reason we had to-”
“I know.” She ran towards him. “I know, Ximun.” She held his cheeks and showed him how desperate she was for that moment to work out. Ximun wondered if he had the same expression earlier and if Aysu saw something similar to what was in Maya na’s eyes. “I am aware that the curse is the reason I destroyed what we shared, but Ximun, I can’t live without you anymore. The more I stay away from you, the worse the pain in my heart becomes and I just can’t… I can’t…”
“It’s okay, Mayana,” Ximun eased her hasty words and hugged her head to his chest. “It is going to be okay.”
“Have you missed me?”
A few seconds passed before he said, “Yes.” Within those few seconds, he closed his eyes and found out that he wished that it was Aysu that was in his arms at that moment. Of course, that was nonsense. He and that insolent girl shared nothing but an unavoidable bond that she wasn’t willing to develop. So, once he pushed that ridiculous desire away, he hugged Mayana closer and with an assuring tone, he said, “I have missed you, the love of my life.” Ximun didn’t find his response convincing.
“Ximun,” the woman squealed into his chest and that was when he discovered that his heart was not beating the way it usually did when he was with Mayana in the past. Ximun quickly ignored that truth and let his hands feel the form of Mayana’s body. The silkiness of her gown made his exploration smooth and as he toured effortlessly, Mayana looked up at him.
“I have missed you so much,” she whispered, her toes tipping.
Ximun noted that she wanted to kiss him. For a second, he considered stepping back since he was apparently married, but he recalled Aysu’s earlier words and that pushed him to damn his thoughts. With haste, Ximun pulled the woman’s lips to his and he eagerly refused to hearken Evalopus’s need to preserve the bond with Aysu they were yet to explore. Ximun had chosen to distract himself and he was going to do that by reviving and deepening the intimacy he shared with Mayana in the past.
So, with his entire human soul in control, his legs led the woman to the bed and he ravished the taste of her lips and neckline without mercy, even after her back hit the bed.
“Ximun,” she breathed at some point, her hands going around his neck to encourage him to do more.
And he did more. In fact, he did more than he usually would. On a good day, he would take his time with the woman he was with. He would make sure that every touch, every graze was enough to imprint unforgettable memories. But at that particular moment, as he pulled at the softness of Mayana’s lips, all his mind kept displaying was the beauty of Aysu he was yet to study. He tried to retain focus but in the midst of that fight, he wondered what could have happened if he had been patient with his caresses the day she demanded to mate with him and if he had been more discreet about mating with her.
Perhaps, she could have been the one in his arms at that moment. And that would have been the best, because the more he thought about her, the more his heart fluttered and yearned for her presence.
Sure, because of the circumstances of their dramatic relationship, he still harboured some dislike for her in a corner of his mind, but in the face of the mate bond that was bound to grow between them, that dislike was nothing.
And Ximun knew that he was willing to get rid of that dislike to fully experience the beauty of a mate bond without having to worry about a curse.
While he processed those thoughts, his lips had already travelled to Mayana’s vulva which was gradually shimmering with juices thanks to the precision and focus with which he pleasured her. And when he finally tuned out his thoughts, he heard her cries for more of what he was doing. In the past, those cries turned him on immensely. But at that moment, the more she begged, the less interested he became in that moment and all he genuinely wished to do was to approach Aysu and mend their faulty relationship before things could get worse.
Ximun did try to fight those growing desires of his as seconds passed, but he could not win. So, he put a stop to what he was doing, stood upright to Mayana’s surprise and he remained still for some seconds.
“Ximun, are you fine?”
A deep exhale left him and he closed his eyes for some seconds. When he opened them, he locked his firm, naturally threatening gaze with Mayana’s and said, “This will be the last time we do this.”
“What?” Clearly, the woman was confident that things were going to go smoothly.
But, life does not always go the way one wishes.
So, Ximun took a few steps backwards and turned his attention to the workspace he set up in the room. “I have found my true mate, Mayana.”
“How is she your true mate? Just because you slept once and probably broke the curse doesn’t mean she is your true mate.” Mayana’s lengthy black hair flipped with force as she got to her feet, her gown carelessly clinging to her body. “What becomes of what we share, Ximun? We… We love each other.”
“I won’t waste your time, Mayana. If I indeed love you, I would not have been thinking about her while I kissed you. But I was.” He faced her. “I was thinking about her, Mayana.”
Her jaws locked and Ximun realised that he wasn’t meant to blankly speak the way he did. But, since it was the truth, he didn’t bother to change or sugarcoat what he said. “Do you wish to be with someone like me, Mayana?” he asked further, his eyes piercing hers in a way that dissolved her anger. “I am now fickle about the love we shared, Mayana. I know it is possible to pretend about my true feelings, but if I try to honour what we shared in the past, things will never be the same. I will always-”
“I don’t care,” she sharply responded, her feet closing the distance between them, her hands reaching for his. “I don’t care because I won’t ever give up on what we have. Ximun, I will show you that our love is worth fighting for. And now that the curse is out of the way, we can attempt loving each other as many times as possible.”
Ximun pulled away from her eager grasp. “You speak about loving each other as though it’s some sort of civil exam that we have to pass. Mayana,” he patted her head for some seconds, “don’t do this to yourself. You know I would never lie to you. It would really be better if we went our separate ways, which we already have. And now that I have a mate, we have to do this.”
“And that mate will become your Queen,” Mayana concluded, her eyes burdened with sad emotions. “I wish I was her.”
“I know my curse must have caused you hell. But now that you can be free from whatever hold my curse might try to have on your life, I want you to find a happy life outside of my existence. Can you do that for me?”
Mayana’s firm gaze was no longer solid. All she could do was stare at the tiled ground. “I guess so,” she grumbled in response to his question. “I was really looking forward to being with you again.”
“I am so sorry.”
She sighed. “It is fine. But can you do me a favour?”
“What is it?”
“Can I remain in the palace for some while? I can’t face my people after this… rejection.”
“Definitely. There’s enough space for you. Let me know if you need anything, okay?”
Ximun could not tell what Mayana was hoping to achieve by staying back, but it gladdened him that that moment didn’t get worse and that his past relationship which meant something back then was out of the way. That meant, he could fully focus on the complexity of his bond with Aysu. Hopefully, the woman comes around so that they can have a proper talk about the fate they now share.
“Can I use your shower?” she asked.
“Sure. Take your time.” Ximun walked to the end of his bed and grabbed his sheathed sword. “I will inform the court maid to arrange a room for you on my way out.”
She hugged her arms to her chest, her action pushing up her full breasts. “Thank you, Ximun. And I am sorry I came on to you without thinking.”
“That’s fine,” he replied and seconds later, he was outside his room, his mind set on using martial arts practice to quench the desires and thoughts of Aysu in his soul.