The Counterfeit Lover (War of Sins Book 3)

A sob permeates the air, and I belatedly recognize it’s coming from me. Just as I realize that Yuyu doesn’t mean any harm. Not as she wraps her arms around me, holding me tight to her chest.

‘It’s ok,’ she whispers. ‘It’s ok to cry, and it’s ok to suffer, Noelle. It’s ok to let yourself feel.’

‘He’s dead,’ I break down. ‘He’s dead and it’s all my fault, Yuyu. If Raf finds out what I’ve done…’ As that thought arises, I can no longer control myself as I burst into tears, letting everything come to the surface—everything I’ve tried to keep below the surface.

I don’t know how much time passes. Her arms are still wrapped around me as she tries her best to soothe me.

‘Why,’ I lift my head, watching her through damp lashes. ‘Why are you so nice to me?’

Though we’d been close throughout my childhood, everything had changed once I’d refused to marry Sergio and Cisco and Yuyu had vehemently insisted. From my closest allies, they turned into my sworn enemies. And yet…

‘Because I can relate to what you’re going through. And because Cisco and I are not blameless in this entire thing, no matter how much we’d like to think so,’ she adds gently, her hand on my hair as she caresses me lightly.

‘Come,’ she takes my hand, leading me to the couch at the end of the room.

‘Why this elaborate scheme to catch me here?’ I ask once I get my sobs under control. My breathing is still harsh, my body trembling with residual emotion.

‘Because your brother knew you would never listen otherwise.’

‘But why would he…’

‘He’s worried about you. Ever since he realized you got your memories back, he’s been worried about you. But you don’t make it easy, do you?’ she gives me a sad smile. ‘You don’t have to be strong all the time, Noelle. It’s ok to be vulnerable.’

I shake my head.

Those moments of vulnerability are what had killed me on the inside—what had triggered everything.

‘It’s ok to feel,‘ she taps my hand lightly, using physical touch as some kind of tether to keep me with her—to keep me vulnerable.

Realizing the ploy, I break away, snatching my hand from her.

And as coldness seeps into my eyes, so does the realization of what Cisco had tried to do.

Knowing me as he does, he must have realized I’d need him for information on Ortega but would likely never ask for it. So he’d constructed the perfect bait. All so he could dangle in front of me the only thing that has the power to shake me—the past. He’d intuited that I’d be too curious—too weak—not to look at what was right in front of me, thus opening myself up to a world of hurt.

And it was all in an effort to get me to see the error of my ways, I’m sure. He wants me to recognize I need help—that I’m broken. Because Cisco, being Cisco, can’t see beyond his perception of what is right.

He’d been the same in the past. But back then I’d looked up to him. I’d seen him as my role model and took his advice to heart. I’d worshiped the man until he’d taken from me what I most prized.

Now he wants to prove to me that the past can’t stay buried, doesn’t he? Well, he’s going to have quite the surprise.

Despite his perfectly executed plan and the fact that those images did affect me, there was one error in his calculations.

The fact that he no longer knows the me now.

He knew me as the odd little girl who needed guidance to face the world. He knew me as the grief-stricken woman who wanted to die with her lover. And then he knew me as the person I wished I were all along, the one I’d constructed when I’d buried my most painful memories—the blameless, innocent one.

But he never knew the person I became there. The person capable of anything to survive.

Cisco only wants this so he can assuage his guilt—well, not even his. My brother would never be capable of such advanced feelings as guilt.

A sardonic smile pulls at my lips as I realize it’s not even for himself that he’s doing this.

It’s for her. For Yuyu.

He’s trying to make amends for her.

‘No,’ I tell her firmly, moving backward to put some distance between us. ‘The past is in the past. I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not going to work.’

‘Raf has a right to know…’

‘So now you’re doing this for him?’ I raise a brow.

‘You don’t understand, Noelle,’ Yuyu takes a deep breath. ‘Your brother never wanted things to degenerate this badly. But Sergio had our hands tied.’

‘My brother? With his hands tied? As if I believe that,’ I scoff.

‘He kidnapped our son,’ she suddenly confesses. ‘He kidnapped Val when he was just a few months old because Cisco hadn’t married Camilla as he’d promised. And to get Val back…’

I blink, surprised at this new information.

‘Sergio made sure the contract was signed in blood. But for a while we didn’t think he would ask us to honor the contract. You were so young, and he got married to someone else…’ Yuyu takes a deep breath. ‘When his last wife died, he demanded Cisco honor his deal. You were around fifteen at the time. You’d just had those issues at school and we knew we couldn’t do that to you. So Cisco tried to get out of it. He ordered a hit on Sergio. Somehow it failed…’ she shakes her head. ‘That only made matters worse. Sergio was determined to see this through, and he was ready to wage a bloody war if not. He was determined to have you—dead, or alive.’

‘I see,’ I nod, pursing my lips.

While the story does at least give my brother some motivation for what he did, it doesn’t move me as Yuyu undoubtedly thought it would.

‘So let me get this straight. My brother only wants what’s best of me, he feels bad for the past and now wants to dictate the present and the future so he can absolve himself of his sins? It doesn’t work like that Yuyu. And it will certainly not help if he ever dares to tell Rafaelo anything,’ I tell her, my tone absolutely bleak and not leaving any room for interpretation.

‘Noelle…’

‘The moment Raf knows, it’s game over, Yuyu. For me, for him, for everyone.’

‘It doesn’t have to be like that…’

‘No,’ I interrupt. ‘That’s exactly how it will be. And one thing both you and my brother should know about me is that I don’t lose. I never intend to lose this game,’ I add as I stand up, straightening my back and heading for the door.

Yet before I leave, I need to make sure of something.

‘Ortega’s potential locations,’ I turn, making eye contact. ‘Are they real?’

She nods, her face drawn up in worry.

‘They are,’ she confirms, rising to her feet and coming closer to me. ‘Noelle, I know you don’t like me. But know that I do care for you. I see you as my child, my daughter and I love you.’

I swallow painfully, her words touching me despite not wanting to be touched. Yet the mention of a mother figure has a way of doing that, especially when mine had been more an enemy than an ally. For all the grudges I’ve ever held against my brother for what he’s done, I must admit that I’ve also seen Yuyu like that.

Since young I blamed her for my misfortunes, yet I’ve never been able to hate her.

My body acts before my mind can, and I find myself swiveling towards her and putting one foot in front of the other until I’m in front of her—hugging her.

‘Thank you,’ I whisper, my tone echoing the ghost of a farewell. ‘I care for you, too, Yuyu. But I can’t let you, nor Cisco, interfere like that in my life. I’m fine as I am now, and I will continue to be fine.’

‘You know you’ll always have a home with us, don’t you?’

A smile pulls at my lips at the double entendre. She’s telling me I can return home should Raf ever find out—and shun me forever.

Alas, even they don’t know half the things that occurred at the hacienda.

Raf wouldn’t leave me.

He would kill me.

‘Nothing is going to happen, Raf. Look, I’m in bed and ready to go to sleep. Which, by the way, it’s what you should be doing, too, considering you’re the one who banged your head,’ I tell him as I move the phone around to show him I’m already tucked in bed.

He’s been blowing my phone incessantly for the last few hours, insisting to see me because he was missing me. As he wouldn’t take no for an answer, I’d had to hurry back home one way or another.

Since there was no way I would be able to scale up the building, I’d had to quickly improvise and find a way home without alerting the guards to my presence. With the clock ticking—and a few too many missed calls from Raf—I’d bought a new set of clothes, using them to disguise my appearance to get inside the building. It had been slightly more difficult to get inside our apartment, but I’d managed to distract the security at the door long enough for me to sneak inside.

As soon as I’d gotten inside, I’d changed into a pair of pajamas and got into bed, ready to pretend nothing is wrong—even though everything is wrong.

And here I am, forcing a smile at the camera and trying to assure Raf that nothing will happen to me for one night. Yet inside, I’m anything but fine. The discussion with Yuyu is still fresh in my mind, her words echoing in my brain. Despite everything, I can’t help but understand where she and Cisco were coming from when they put the safety of their child above everything.

I would have done the same.

And that brings me again to…Mali.

My little boy who never stood a chance because he had the misfortune to be born to a wretched mother.

The sight of his slight body in that cradle still haunts me—though I always do my best to not think about it.

But it’s becoming harder and harder to do that, especially knowing I may never be able to have another child…

Am I really this cursed?

‘Noelle?’ Raf’s voice shakes me from my thoughts. ‘What’s wrong, pretty girl. I’ve been talking to you and you zoned out.’

‘I’m sleepy,’ I fake a yawn. ‘Why don’t we talk in the morning? I’ll come at the hospital when you get discharged.’

‘Fine… Just… Don’t worry too much, ok? I’m perfectly fine.’

‘I know that,’ I smile, letting my eyes roam all over his face and searing that image in my heart. ‘Nothing will touch you, Raf,’ I promise, the words vague to him, but a vow to me.

No one will ever touch him again.

If I have to become wickedness incarnate, I will do it. I will become what I once was—that dreaded being everyone feared.

All for him.

‘You know it, pretty girl. I won’t let anyone harm us. Sleep now,’ he murmurs, bringing the phone to his lips to send me a virtual kiss.

Despite my sour mood, I can’t help but giggle as I return the kiss.

When I finally get Raf to hang up, I set my alarm for two hours from now and I close my eyes to sleep. I may have a plan to execute, but I’ve never been one for impulsive displays—at least not when it matters the most.

I need to operate at maximum capacity in order to do what I’d set out to, and that means factoring in at least a few hours of rest as well.

Despite the fact that my heart is clamoring with an urgency for immediate results, my head needs to remain in charge so I can remain as objective as possible. I will, after all, venture into an old chapter of my life that I would have preferred to keep closed forever.

For him, I’m willing to do anything. For my Raf.

My everything.

I will protect him to my dying breath.

Before. Now. In the future.

I exist because he does. And so I will continue to exist while he does.

As my alarm inundates my ears, I snap my eyes open, ready for the next step.

While on my little excursion, I’d bought a disposable phone and I’d managed to coax Yuyu into giving me some of her extra potent sleep concoction. I’d only had to act a little distraught and she’d taken pity on me immediately.

Getting out of bed, I head to the kitchen to prepare some coffee—gallons of decaf coffee.

Humming a soft melody to myself, I proceed to add all the concoction Yuyu had given me to the coffee before placing it in the few thermoses we have lying around.

When I’m done, I go to the door, opening it and coming face to face with three of the guards.

‘You guys must be so tired,’ I start with fake concern. ‘Here, I made coffee for everyone. Make sure the people working the entrance and lower floors get some too,’ I add with a smile.

‘Thank you, ma’am, we’ll make sure everyone gets some,’ one of them replies, taking the bottles from me.

A few more murmured thank yous and I close the door, my eyes on the clock as I wait for the coffee to kick in.

In the meantime, I start getting ready for the next phase of the plan.

Taking the disposable cellphone I’d bought, I dial a number from my past.

‘Well, hello,’ I drawl, curious for his reaction.

‘Who’s this?’ A man’s voice immediately comes through, eliciting half a smile from me.

‘Hello, Vasquez. Don’t tell me you don’t recognize my voice anymore.’

‘Noelle?’ he asks in disbelief. ‘It’s really you, isn’t it?’

‘Quite so. Sorry to call you after so long, but it hasn’t been safe for me to do so,’ I lie, not wanting to go into too much detail about what happened.

‘But how… I heard what happened at the hacienda. I thought you’d died… That everyone died.’

‘I was the only one to survive. How could you doubt me, you know nothing kills me,’ I chuckle.

‘That is true. Damn, but it’s good to hear from you. And I’m happy you’re alive…’

‘I need a favor,’ I cut to the chase. ‘Are you still on the East Coast?’

‘Yes,’ he grunts. ‘We’ve relocated to New Jersey. What do you need? I still have a special set I commissioned for you. One I never got the chance to give you,’ he says in an affectionate tone—a hopeful one.

Alas, I can’t dash his hope now. Not when I need his help.

‘I need the regular, but I’m sure the set would suit me too. You know I trust your expertise.’

‘Good. Let me give you the address,’ he suggests before dictating it to me.

I nod along, jotting the details down.

‘I’ll be there in a few hours. Thank you, Alonso,’ I add on a softer tone.

‘Any time, Noelle. Looking forward to seeing you again.’

‘I’ll see you soon.’

Hanging up, I purse my lips as I contemplate how to go about this.

Alonso Vázquez had been one of Sergio’s business associates who specialized in custom weapons. He would supply Sergio with all types of ceremonial weapons and other types of heavy artillery, making the hacienda as heavily armed as the military—if not more.

Over time, Alonso and I had become friends of a sort, and he’d always supply me with whatever I needed. Of course, from the beginning it had been obvious he wanted more. I’d made it clear from the start, however, that I wasn’t interested in anything of that nature and that I wanted to keep things strictly platonic and professional.

He’d taken the rejection in stride, and I’d been surprised he hadn’t turned vindictive or bitter over it—as others would have. Instead, he’d pretended nothing happened and had continued to be on good terms. As a result, I’d been truthful with him that I wasn’t in the market for a lover, then or ever, because my heart and my body already belonged to someone—and would always do so. I’d refrained from telling him who it was, but he’d understood the situation.

But that was then, and if I’ve learned anything in my life is that you should never underestimate a man—especially when he wants to possess a woman. I may need him for a favor this time, but I’m not about to pay that kind of price—or any price. As such, I need to be thoroughly prepared.

Going to my office, I dig through some of my old stuff that I’d recovered from my mother’s place. There is one item that will prove most useful in this type of situation. I may be overreacting, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

As I rummage through my old stuff, I find a small pendant, and opening it, I note it still houses some leftover magic dust—but which should be enough to knock an elephant out. Instead of placing it around my neck, I wrap it around my wrist a few times until it sits tightly around my skin—and ready to be used in case of an emergency.

That done, I start to get ready. I put on a pair of jeans and a comfortable shirt, after which I plait my hair in a braid. I top off the look with some make-up, kohling my eyes and adding a dash of red lipstick—resembling at least a little the Noelle from the past. Otherwise, Alonso might not even recognize me.

A smile plays at my lips at the irony.

Back at the hacienda, no one would catch me dead without my face full of make-up, my hair perfectly arranged in place or dressed in anything other than a glamorous outfit. Everything had been, after all, to craft the perfect image.

That was how people knew me—or knew of me.

One slip and the illusion would shatter.

A while later, I check the peep hole to see the guards out cold. Pleased that it had worked, I grab the car keys and the bag I’d filled with basic necessities and I slowly open the door, being as quiet as I can as I go down the stairs.

I encounter more guards on my way out, all passed out, or on the verge of doing so. Yuyu is famous for her concoction and it really knocks you out, making you lethargic and confused. So even though some are still moving, I walk past them without an issue. Same goes for the guards stationed in the lobby and around the exits.

Heading to the parking lot, I press a button to unlock the car before sliding in the driver’s seat, adjusting everything to fit my height. I may not have a driver’s license, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to drive, which also brings up another bad memory.

It was no coincidence I’d crashed that car months ago.

Pushing those thoughts out of my mind, I start the engine, pulling out of the parking lot and driving towards the exit.

Now I have someone to live for.

There are a few hours left until dawn, and then some more hours until I’m due at the hospital. If I’m fast, then I might finish everything by noon. The only downside of my plan is that I have to check every potential location, thus wasting a big chunk of time. On the other hand, as I’d researched each of them, I’d noted they were all concentrated in one part of the city.

But I’ll worry about that after. First, I need to get my equipment.

My body hums with anticipation as I remember those pieces Alonso would create specifically for me. It’s been too long since I’ve had the pleasure of wearing or using one.

I’m so lost in my mind that I barely see the car heading straight for me. Even as I try to avoid it, the driver pushes it forward, effectively cutting my way as the car stops right in front of me.

Muttering a curse, I take off my seat belt and grab my gun.

‘What the hell is wrong with you?’ I demand as I get out of the car, ready for the worst.

Raf might be right to worry about Ortega coming after me too. But what he doesn’t know is that I can more than handle myself.

‘And there is my dear sister-in-law,’ a lazy drawl makes me freeze.

The car’s door opens to reveal Michele in all his glory. His hand goes to his glasses, removing them from his face so he can pin me with those eerie eyes of his.

‘Michele,’ I grit my teeth. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’

‘Tracking you if that’s not obvious,’ he chuckles, closing the door and coming towards me.

I hold my ground, tipping my chin up as I meet his stare dead on.

‘And why is that? Want to kidnap me again?’ I scoff. ‘Good luck with that.’

‘You see, dear sis, I don’t need to kidnap you again,’ he shrugs.

He’s one step away from me, and as he studies me, his lips tug into a hidden smile.

‘I don’t need to do anything just yet. Everything will align perfectly when the time is right. I just came here to give you a friendly warning. You know, now that your watch dog isn’t around anymore,’ he adds cryptically.

‘What are you talking about?’ I frown.

‘Nothing much,’ he chuckles. ‘Just wanted to remind you of our little chat a while back.’

My brows knit together in confusion, yet a slow echo resounds in my mind.

At some point, the love will leave their eyes.

‘What?’

‘Tik-Tok, Noelle. Tik-Tok. The clock is ticking,’ he winks at me. ‘I know you remember,’ he continues, shocking me with his statement. ‘Just as I know what you remember.’

I swallow hard, anxiety ripping through me. But I can’t let it show.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ I school my features.

‘Really?’ he drawls derisively. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll remind you soon enough.’

My heart beats loudly in my chest.

What does he know?

Lucero is dead, but she could have told him everything before she died. Still, he wouldn’t have any type of evidence. Everything disappeared when the hacienda burned to the ground. There’s absolutely no one who could confirm his information. And Raf would believe me. I know he would.

‘He’ll never believe you,’ I struggle to keep my mask in place. ‘Or you’ve forgotten that I can do no wrong in his eyes?’

‘Hmm,’ he hums, looking at me with amusement in his eyes. ‘I wonder about that.’

‘Go ahead,’ I dare him. ‘Do your worst. He’ll never believe a word that comes out of your mouth.’

‘That so? Should we place another bet? What will it be this time? Will you kill yourself if he doesn’t believe you?’

‘Sure, why not,’ I say confidently. ‘Raf would never doubt me.’

‘Not even when you’re out, gallivanting into the night like thief?’

I shrug.

‘I’m looking out for him,’ I smile.

‘Riiiight,’ he exclaims, rubbing his gloved palms together. ‘I heard about his latest mishap. Poor Raf,’ he says with fake concern. ‘Did he get a boo-boo?’ he asks mockingly.

‘He’s fine,’ I reply dryly. ‘But you already knew that, didn’t you?’

He doesn’t respond to my accusation, merely smiling lazily, regarding me as one would a petulant child. He thinks he’s holding all the cards, doesn’t he?

Well, I might have something on him, too.

‘You know what I think?’ I ask as I take a step forward.

He doesn’t react, so I continue speaking, watching for every little micro-expression.

‘You speak of your wonderful revenge plans; of everything you want to do to Raf and how you want him to suffer. But I have to yet see the evidence of that.’

He narrows his eyes at me.

‘You don’t want him hurt, do you? You think I don’t know what happened with Armand?’ I raise a brow, daring him to lie to me about that.

The moment I’d gotten the full truth about Armand from Raf, years ago, I’d set to find out everything I could about the man. After all, I was, and still am, a woman on a mission. No stone will remain unturned as long as something happens to my beloved. Despite Armand’s death, my inquiries had not been in vain—especially as I’d found out the identity of his killer.

‘Careful, Noelle. Next you’re going to suggest I take shifts at the local dog shelter.’

‘You might as well,’ I shrug. ‘Hasn’t Lovely converted you yet?’

He smiles, a sinister smile that’s telling me to tread very carefully.

‘He has in fact,’ he smirks. ‘That also means you’re not getting him back. His dog-mind already sees me as his master.’

I blink, a little taken aback by that. Does he not realize how much that one line reveals about him?

‘Michele,’ I smile. ‘You don’t fool me. You might have done so before, but not anymore. If you wanted to, you could have killed Raf months ago—the first time he stepped foot in New York City. But you never wanted that—you could never take it that far.’

‘I’m intrigued by this little scenario of yours. So tell me, then, why do you think that is?’ he inquires casually.

‘You still care about your brother. You can’t bring yourself to harm him.’

‘He’s not my brother,’ he states in his bored tone, but there’s a flicker of something in his eyes.

‘If you say so,’ I play his game.

‘Let’s say you’re right and I don’t want to hurt my brother,’ he drawls dangerously. ‘That would mean I don’t want to see him get hurt by others either.’

The implication is clear.

‘Is that a threat?’ I demand sharply.

‘You may interpret it as such,’ he replies, his eyes crinkling with amusement.

He thinks he has me backed into a corner, doesn’t he? Too bad I’m not the only one with something to lose. I see exactly what he’s gunning for.

This isn’t some sort of kindness he’s doing to Raf. No, the truth would simply destroy my husband, and Michele knows that.

He may not be able to bring himself to physically harm him, but he is always up for what he does best—psychological warfare. And in this instance, telling Raf the truth about me would be killing him from the inside out.

Michele would never need to worry about Raf again. Nor about me.

‘You know, brother-in-law,’ I start, mimicking him. ‘You said it yourself. We’re not that much different. We love who we love because they embody everything we are not. They remind us of everything we could have been.’

His entire demeanor suddenly changes as he hears the word love.

‘Love?’ he spits the word as if it’s pure poison. ‘What bullshit are you spouting now, Noelle?’

‘Venezia,’ I simply state.

His cheek twitches. I don’t know if he realizes that the mere mention of her name makes him tense.

‘And you think I love her?’

Just like that, his mask is back on. Sporting an amused smile, he leans against the car as he gives me the same lazy do-over as before—as if I’m miles beneath him.

‘You mean you don’t?’

Two can play the same game, Michele. And I’m not one to back down.

His face erupts into a wide grin.

‘Of course not. I may have fucked her once or twice, but nothing that deep,’ he forces himself to keep the same amused expression, but he doesn’t fool me.

‘Really? That so?’ I flutter my lashes. ‘I know it was you. The man on the motorcycle. You sure care too much about someone you claim you just fucked once or twice.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ he grinds his teeth—the first sign I hit a sire spot.

‘So you really don’t love her?’ I inquire again, my mouth curling up.

‘I can’t stand the bitch,’ he declares, his voice going up a notch just as he puts some space between us.

He’s going on the defensive, and it’s all right there for me to see.

‘Right,’ I nod. ‘Then you’ll have nothing against me playing with her. You know I have unfettered access to her, don’t you?’

He doesn’t answer. His nostrils flare as his eyes glint dangerously.

There it is, that flicker of emotion.

Venezia was wrong—oh, so very wrong. Michele doesn’t not love her. And it’s tearing him on the inside to feel like that.

‘What are you trying to say, Noelle?’ Each word is measured, his tone even and grave.

‘Last we saw each other you were the expert in poisons. You tell me,’ I pause when I realize how rattled he’s becoming. ‘A drop of arsenic. Maybe cyanide. Belladonna,’ I muse out loud.

But before I can add anything more, my back hits the car door—hard enough to knock the wind out of me. His gloved fingers curl around my neck, holding so tight I can’t help but wheeze in an effort to find my breath.

‘I may have underestimated you, Noelle. So you’d harm an innocent just to get what you want?’

‘Why are you so surprised?’ I meet his gaze with mine, showing him he doesn’t scare me. ‘We’re the same.’

‘We’re not,’ his lip twitches. ‘I don’t kill innocents. And neither will you. I find that you’ve laid one finger—just one—on any part of her body, or that you’ve tried to do her harm in any way shape or form, and you will rue the day you were born. Both you and my brother. I will kill you then. I will rip you apart, limb by limb, and I will give you the slowest death humanly possible. You have my vow on that, Noelle.’

In no time he’s off me and going back to his car. Bringing my hand to my neck to massage my skin, I watch his retreating figure and the way I know his presence can only lead to disaster.

‘Why did you come here, Michele?’ I ask one last time.

He stops, offering me only a glimpse of his profile.

‘To get an answer.’

‘And?’ I tilt my head, narrowing my eyes at him.

He smiles.

‘I got everything I needed.’

He doesn’t linger, opening the door to his car and swerving out of the parking lot, leaving me behind blinking in confusion.

He never told me what the question was…