The Counterfeit Lover (War of Sins Book 3)

I try to put the movie disaster behind me and focus on the next portion of the date. After all, what could go wrong with dinner?’

The restaurant is stunning, the view even more so as we are seated close to the river. The night sky is ablaze in the distance, the city alive still at this late hour.

‘This is beautiful, Raf,’ Noelle praises as she takes her seat, her eyes taking in her surroundings.

‘I’m glad you like it. This time I checked the reviews for the place, and their steak is excellent. In fact,’ I pause as I open the menu, pointing to the spicy steak special they have. “This is the most popular dish and I know how much you like both.’

‘You’re such a dear,’ she gushes.

A secret smile creeps up my face. I’d scoured the menus of at least ten restaurants to make sure I was choosing a place she’d love.

The waiter comes to pick up our order and I invite Noelle to choose whatever else she wants from the menu, after which I place my own order.

‘Can we also have one of your best bottle of Pinot Noir?’

The waiter nods, scribbling down our orders before excusing himself.

‘I have a confession to make,’ I tell her when we’re finally alone.

Her brows go up as she tilts her head to the side.

The light from one of the lamps hits her at such an angle, it’s like she’s bathed in light—a beacon of purity in the darkness of the night. My mouth becomes dry just admiring her like this—especially seeing the necklace resting against her skin and the slight peek of the valley of her breasts.

‘Raf?’ she calls my name and I clear my throat, faking a cough to mask the way her simple presence makes me lose my mind.

I wonder if her impact on me will ever lessen with time because so far, it’s been the opposite. Every time I wake up in the morning with her by my side it’s like I’ve been blessed all over again. There’s a warmth that spreads all over my body as I remember the way she used to soothe and tend to me at the hacienda—how she’d kept me alive simply by existing.

Those memories, no matter how faulty, are always at the back of my mind. She doesn’t remember—might never remember—and though at times that thought hurts, I’d rather she never did if it would protect her mental state.

It will never change what she means to me.

Heaven.

Light.

Mi luz.

‘Right,’ I strain a smile. I have to admit I am the equivalent of a besotted fool. Everything she says or does has the ability to render me speechless, causing my brain to short-circuit until she’s all I can think about. And though that has its time and place, sometimes it happens at the most inopportune moments.

Like now.

When I’m trying to use the logical part of my brain.

‘I spoke with Gianna,’ I start and her brows shoot up. ‘I wanted to get her approval to start the dissolve the conservatorship over you.’

She blinks, taken aback my words.

‘You…’ she swallows hard. ‘What did she say?’

‘She wants to perform a few evaluations which we will then have to submit to court. It’s a bit more bureaucratic than I would have liked, but it shouldn’t take too long.’

‘I’ll do it,’ she nods effusively. ‘I’ll do anything that needs to be done. Raf…’ Tears gather at the corner of her eyes. ‘I can’t express my gratitude in words. That is just…’

‘You don’t have to,’ I reach across the table to take her hand in mine. ‘I don’t want you to feel in any way tied down to me, or feel like I’m holding something over your head. I want you to be free. Truly free. And then, choose me of your own volition.’

‘What did my brother say about this?’

‘Irrelevant. He doesn’t have a say in this. Not anymore. You’re mine, but I want you to be mine because you choose so.’

‘You’re the best man I’ve ever met, Rafaelo Guerra,’ her voices hitches, her eyes filled with unshed tears. ‘I don’t think anyone else would have done that,’ she smiles tightly. ‘Because who would willingly give up control?’

‘Control via coercion is like a ruler drunk on the power of the subjects who abhor him,’ I tell her softly. ‘Control should be earned. Submission should be earned. Only then it’s satisfying. Only then it’s worth having.’

‘You don’t think I’m automatically inferior to you just because I’m a woman? That I need to be subdued because I don’t know my own mind? That,’ she smiles, ‘I need someone to lead so I can follow?’

A chuckle escapes me at her examples—actual scenarios of what occurs in our world and beyond.

‘I happen to have a deep respect for smart women. And I happen to have an even bigger respect for the woman in front of me. There’s nothing inferior about you, Noelle, and I’d appreciate it if you removed that word from your vocabulary,’ I add sternly.

‘It’s why you’re one of the few good ones, Raf. Not everyone thinks quite like you,’ she sighs sadly.

‘I’m not as good as you make me out to be,’ my words are clipped, harsher than intended.

‘You are to me, and that’s all I care about,’ she says as she plays with my fingers, caressing my hand with the soft tips of her nails. ‘I don’t care about anything else, Raf. I told you once, you can do no wrong in my eyes.’

I gaze at her intently, trying to gauge the veracity of her words.

She smiles at me.

‘You see, I’m not like other women either. You’re the only thing of importance for me. The world? It can go to hell for all I care.’

‘I fear I feel the same, pretty girl,’ I admit. ‘And that scares the hell out of me.’

‘Why should it?’ she asks the question as if it’s the most natural thing. ‘Embrace it. I did. When you stop fighting yourself, Raf, when you stop caring about the rest of the world, you’ll see how freeing that can be.’

‘You might be right,’ I nod.

‘I know I’m right,’ she winks at me.

I don’t get to say anything else as the waiter comes with our food. Laying the plates in front of us, he then comes back with the bottle of wine and two glasses.

He pours my glass first before doing the same to Noelle’s.

Her eyes are still on me, desire dripping from her gaze.

We’re both so caught up in each other that the subsequent accident startles us both. While pouring her glass, the waiter’s eyes seem to have strayed to an off-limits area. So did the bottle off the glass, aiming for her neckline instead of the glass.

Noelle reels back, blinking repeatedly as the wine slowly drips between her breasts.

‘I’m so sorry. I’m so, so, sorry,’ the waiter keeps blabbering and a coldness envelops me.

He reaches out for Noelle to help her at the same time I reach for him, pulling him back and bringing him at eye level with me.

‘Don’t,’ just one word, and he stiffens. ‘You don’t look. You don’t touch. You don’t see her. Are we clear?’

His eyes flutter at me in confusion, my words slowly sinking in.

‘I…’

‘You’ll go back inside and ask a waitress to take over our table.’

‘But I…’

‘If you know what’s good for you, you won’t argue, you won’t talk back and you will move.’ He’d better fucking agree. I’m already doing my best to stay in control and not make a spectacle in the middle of the restaurant. The last thing Noelle needs right now is more attention on us.

‘Yes, sir,’ he said, pivoting and heading back to where he came from.

‘I’m so sorry about your dress, pretty girl. Here,’ I take off my coat, getting out of my chair and coming round the table to place it around her shoulder, swaddling her in it so her cleavage is no longer visible.

And there goes strike two. Can we have just one perfect date?

‘You wouldn’t have harmed that boy, would you?’ she narrows her eyes at me.

‘Of course I wouldn’t,’ I smile sweetly as I spew the half-truth.

‘Good,’ she nods. ‘Because from where I was standing it looked like you were about to strangle the guy with your bare hands.’

‘I was just telling him the polite thing to do after he messed up,’ I counter, keeping my defense up.

‘I see.’

‘Ok, fine, I was very close to snapping. But I didn’t,’ I exhale. ‘I’m not going to ruin this evening for you even more.’

‘It’s not ruined,’ she frowns. ‘In fact, come on, dig in, it’s going to go cold.’

Duly chastised, I start eating, every now and then sneaking glances at her and fighting a smile at how lovely she is.

‘Raf, I have one question…’

I whip my head up, waiting for her to speak.

‘The drugs,’ she grimaces. ‘How bad is it?’

‘Bad,’ I admit. ‘Pretty bad. The stuff I was on at the hacienda was highly addictive and it left me close to death when I went into withdrawal. Carlos’ men were able to come up with a recipe similar enough, but it messes with my control even more than the original one.’

‘But you’re better, right? I’ve never seen you take anything, so it can’t be that bad?’ She adds hopefully.

‘It’s a slow process,’ I purse my lips, explaining how the drug affects my nervous system, making it so that if I’m suddenly cut off I could actually die. The only option is to wean myself off it slowly and give my body time to accommodate.

‘What if you had the original recipe?’

‘Maybe it work better? I’m not entirely sure.’

‘Let me help,’ she reaches out, her hand on mine as her features harden with pure determination. ‘Maybe I can remember something if you take me to the lab and I look through the ingredients…’

‘I don’t want you to worry about that,’ I squeeze her hand. ‘I’m already ashamed as it is that I’m incapacitated once a week,’ I release a weary sigh. ‘I don’t want you to…keep seeing me at my worst.’

‘But you forget one thing, Raf,’ she shakes her head at me. ‘I’ve seen you at your very worst and I’m still here. It doesn’t matter what side of yourself you show me. I will always be here. Please don’t shut me out,’ she whispers lightly.

Staring at her, I have to wonder. What the hell did I do right in this life to deserve her? I can only find flaw after flaw when I look at myself, yet she only sees the best in me.

‘Ok,’ I nod softly. She’s right. I need to trust her with everything, not just the good sides of me.

Easier said than done, though.

We chat some more on the subject as I explain to her the intricacies of the drug and what I’d heard from the doctors, as well as what it means for my body and my health. Yet as soon as I have an opening, I change the topic, not wanting to mar our date with such morbid talk.

I have one more chance to end the night well, though. And as we finish the dinner without any other accident, we pay the bill and leave.

Steering her down the riverbank, I keep practicing my lines as we get closer to the firework place.

Since I’d wanted this to be a special occasion, I’d also gotten her a ring—a special one I should have gotten her from the beginning. Maybe it’s a bit late, but I still want to do things properly. That way, people will see the ultimate evidence that she’s taken.

My fingers skim the surface of the ring box, my mind conjuring up the perfect moment when I’ll get on one knee to give her the proposal she never had.

‘Do your feet hurt?’ I suddenly ask, seeing her wobble a little.

She shakes her head.

‘No, I’m just not too used to wearing heels.’

‘You should have worn something more comfortable.’

‘Nope,’ she pops the p, ‘I need to be just a tiny bit taller so I look good at your side.’

I halt.

‘What? You always look good by my side.’

She just shrugs, but there’s a hidden smile playing at her lips as she watches me covertly. There’s love, and there’s her love. And God if it’s not the sweetest thing in the world. It envelops me, touching every sense as it seeps into my very being.

Holding on to my arm, I can tell my stubborn little wife will not abandon her shoes, despite the obvious difficulty she has with them.

A few more steps later, however, and there’s a big pop. Noelle comes to a stop, her huge eyes meeting mine before she glances at her feet…and at the heel currently stuck between two rocks—detached from her shoe.

She blinks twice before giggling.

‘I don’t think this is my day,’ she mentions, making me feel even worse for doing such a poor job. One date. Just one date and I get everything wrong.

Not one to despair, though, I lower myself in front of her, urging her to jump on my back.

‘No, come on, Raf,’ she protests lightly. ‘I’m not a child for you to give me a piggyback ride,’ she jokes, though I can tell she’s not totally put off by the idea.

‘Get on,’ I command her. ‘You’re not going to put a damn mark on those beautiful feet of yours.’

‘So demanding,’ she grumbles playfully as she jumps on my back, wounding her arms around my neck while I secure her legs around my lower back, pulling on the material of her dress so everything is completely covered.

Her breath is in my ear as I move, her body heat transferring to mine, and this is exactly how I always want her—so close I could practically become one with her.

‘You know,’ she whispers, threading one hand through my hair. ‘I used to imagine what my first date would be like for so long,’ I can feel her smile against my neck.

‘What was the perfect date? In your mind?’

‘Talking,’ she simply says.

‘Talking?’ I ask, thoroughly surprised.

‘Yup. Talking, talking and more talking. Maybe holding hands, and maybe a kiss at the end of the night.’

‘I hope I didn’t disappoint too much,’ I grimace just thinking about the day so far. Especially as I think of our very first date when I’d caused her to have a panic attack because of my brutish behavior. Yeah, I don’t think I’ve earned any stars in that department.

‘No,’ she chuckles. ‘Not at all. This was exactly how I wanted it to be. Just…us,’ she sighs melancholically, laying her head on my shoulder. ‘Just us, Raf,’ she whispers, almost as if there’s more to the story.

We walk a while longer, enjoying the night breeze and the way the city flashes in the distance. Even as silence descends, there’s a certain comfort, something that tugs at my heartstrings with happiness, pure joy, and so much more—always more.

‘Here,’ I tell her when we reach the designated spot, placing her down on a bench. ‘Now let me get the last surprise,’ I point to the black box hidden by a tree.

She glances at me in curiosity but simply nods, telling me to go ahead.

Turning my attention to the fireworks, I do as I’d been told, following the instructions to a T to make sure Noelle will get the full experience. And when they’re ready to roll, I hurry back to her side, tugging her up and placing her bare feet on my shoes so she wouldn’t get dirty.

‘So? What has you so secretive?’ she raises a brow.

I tug her into me, my mouth caressing her ear as I whisper.

‘Fireworks. Just watch.’

‘Fireworks?’ she raises her head to look at me in awe. ‘I’ll be damned, Raf, but you went all out for this, didn’t you?’

Heat creeps up my cheeks at her praise.

‘Only the best for you,’ I murmur.

A loud noise alerts me that the fireworks are about to start shooting into the sky. Palming the ring box, I wait, biding my time to make sure I nail the last surprise of the evening.

We both turn our gazes towards the sky, waiting for the magic to happen.

But another bang later, and instead of shooting for the sky, the fireworks shoot…at us.

My reflexes are quick at work, and before I know it, both Noelle and I are on the ground as I blanket her with my body.

‘Raf…’ she trails off as she turns her head, watching how all my hard work ends up in the Hudson, one firework at a time.

There are some sparks in the air, but clearly not the dazzling show I was expecting.

‘Fuck, am I crushing you?’ I ask as I roll over when the last one sinks in the water. ‘You’re not hurt are you?’ My eyes immediately scan her form. Good thing we’d ended up on soft grass instead of the harder stone just a few steps over.

For fuck’s sake…

I groan out loud at my succession of failures.

One thing. Just one thing I’d wanted to do today—impress her and make her happy. Instead… I only managed to make a fool of myself.

‘I’m sorry,’ I say quietly, righting myself in a seating position and helping her do the same.

I push my head down as I wait for her to express her disappointment, but instead, all I’m getting is laughter.

Whipping my head up, I watch in awe how she’s laughing with so much gusto she’s holding on to her midriff, barely able to contain herself.

‘Raf,’ she starts, but stops herself amid another bout of laughter. Before she can express how much she hated the date, I hurry to act, hoping I can still turn this around.

Fishing the ring box out of my pants, I assume the stance, placing all my weight on one knee as I extend my hand towards her, opening the box to reveal a simple ring adorned with a small, almost translucent garnet that I’d had custom made to complement the necklace.

She stops. Her eyes go wide, her mouth opening and closing before she meets my eyes.

‘For…me?’

‘I wanted to take advantage of today to give you the ring I should have gotten you from the beginning—the ring you deserve. I’m sorry this didn’t end up quite as I imagined it,’ I wince. ‘But I’ll do better.’

‘My God, Raf,’ she comes closer, her dress hiked over her thighs as she brings herself in front of me. Plucking the ring from the box, she waves it in front of me.

Afraid of making another faux pas, I grab it, jamming it a little too harshly up her finger.

‘Auch,’ she gasps.

‘Sorry,’ I double-wince.

For fuck’s sake. I’m a fucking mess, aren’t I?

Kill me now.

For a moment, she merely stares at the ring. And I, like the idiot I am, simply wait for her to tell me to my face what an idiot I am. I sigh in disappointment. But one second she’s in front of me, the next she’s launching herself on top of me and tackling me to the ground.

‘You’re so special, Rafaelo Guerra. The most special soul. And I love you more than anything else in the world,’ she says before her lips are on mine, kissing me with an intensity that obliterates me and any other thought I might have had before.

‘Fuck, Noelle, you’re going to kill me. Right here, for everyone to see,’ I breathe harshly.

‘I love the ring. I love you. And I even love the accident-prone dates,’ she whispers. ‘But next time, I get to pick the date.’

A smile creeps up my lips.

‘Is that so? And what will you choose?’

She looks pensive for a moment before her entire face lights up.

‘A club. I want you to take me to a club.’

She continues to talk, explaining how she wants to experience what every twenty-something-year-old does. But I’m too caught up on that one word.

Club.

Where there will be other men. Where other men will be able to see her, leer at her and might even try to brush up against her.

Immediately, I see red.

But one glance at her, and I realize she really wants this. Especially as I remember how her one stunt at a club ended up—at the police station.

‘Fine,’ I sigh. ‘But we do it on my terms, ok?’

She looks taken aback by my easy acquiesce. After all, this insane jealousy I feel at anyone who dares look in her direction is my issue. And I won’t let it affect her happiness.

No, I’ll just have to devise certain…ways to make everything bearable.

And make sure everyone knows she’s off limits.

‘Fine. You pull the strings,’ she says before she burrows deeper into my chest.

A smile pulls at my lips. Well, it could actually turn out to be a wonderful learning opportunity for us, too.

Happy she’s not mad at my abysmal date planning, I take her home, spending the whole night making it up to her in other ways.