Chapter 36 Intentions
Jack
I continued. “And then, Vander and I started Meteor, and I was focused only on my work. I had no time to think of relationships. Then once we got more established, I was still busy, but I had a couple of relationships with human women. But they never knew what I was, and they never lasted long or got very far because it wasn’t fair of me to string them along when I might find my mate any day. At least I hoped I would, especially my wolf. That side of me was always waiting and watching for you, Aura.”
She was watching me quietly and not giving me a real hint of what she was feeling.
My heart pounded at the idea of revealing the truth. I was sure it wouldn’t upset her, but old shame made it hard to get the proper sounds out, to voice the truth. “What you were thinking isn’t true.”
She was staring at me like she would see straight into my soul if she looked hard enough.
“I came close to slipping up more than once, but I never did. I wasn’t with any of them.”
She blinked those blue eyes and I couldn’t pull my gaze away–even though I desperately wanted to—while she considered my words. My heart pounded frantically while I waited. Was it worse to be a womanizer or a just a fraud?
Finally she asked, hesitantly, “Are you trying to tell me you’ve never been with anyone, Jack?”
Shame, that well-remembered feeling of inadequacy, that feeling of not being man enough for some standard, that looming threat of hitting thirty in a few years as a virgin, rushed through me. My throat was dry. “Yeah.”
So busy was I worrying that she caught me completely off guard when she stepped forward and kissed me, wrapping her arms around my neck, her body as close to mine as it could get with our clothing on. My hands automatically found her waist, and slid along her curves, the only ones that could ever be so perfect under my touch. Relief that we must have gotten past all the shit on the internet that was upsetting her filled me and I was almost dizzy with it.
She broke the kiss and looked at me. “Did you really think that would upset me? Why didn’t you just tell me straight out.”
“Well, you were pretty upset.”
“That’s because I was thinking the opposite.”
“I wasn’t planning to tell you at all.” I didn’t want her to think me some lesser male. I rubbed the back of my neck.
“It’s romantic that you waited.” She smiled, before it faded like the sun slipping behind clouds. “I didn’t do the same.”
My wolf whimpered at the her words but I ignored that. “I almost didn’t. And if I’d had the opportunity when I was younger, I probably wouldn’t have had the self-control not to, either.”
She looked off into space for a moment. “At the time, I thought that I’d be with Rex for the rest of my life.” The idea that she might have stayed with that insufferable jackass was a terrible thought. I couldn’t even imagine what I would have done if I’d found my mate and she had been married to her ex. I probably would have had to reject her so I could move on, and my wolf whimpered at even the thought.
“The past is past. As long as I have you now, I don’t care about what’s already done.”
“You do have me now. I’m sorry for not talking to you about what Rex showed me instead of avoiding it. I knew what he was doing but I let him get into my head anyway. It was wrong of me, but...I was worried I was all wrong about you.”
“There aren’t even words for how serious I am about you. There could never be anyone else now that I’ve found you, Aura. Never. I swear. As long as you want me.” I caught her lips with my own, sweeping my tongue into her mouth. She was as wonderfully responsive as ever, and my ears picked up the slightest sounds of her pleasure. My lips wandered down her neck and she moaned and shivered. I wanted to mark her then and there. My wolf begged me to do it.
It wasn’t just my wolf. I wanted all of her, but I had always wanted that. But I also wanted those times to be perfect for her and I didn’t think making out in the forest was the place. I didn’t want to give her any cause to regret being my mate, ever.
So I held myself back, breaking the kiss.
Her breathing was heavy and my eyes flicked to the rapid rise and fall of her breasts and the peek of cleavage I could just see before it ran under the cloth. Beautiful. I tried to regulate my own breathing, as I asked with a half smile, “So, are you still cancelling on me tonight?”
Her smile was self-effacing. “Well, I no longer need to obsessively search for pictures of you on my aunt’s computer this evening. Do you have any idea just how much random stuff is on the internet? I had no idea. Do humans have time for anything other than growing the internet?”
I chuckled slightly. “They do a few other things. But I can try to get some of the pictures of me removed.” Even if I couldn’t get it done through legal channels, it would be easy enough to get the files corrupted by a good witch hacker.
“I truly don’t care now that I know the truth.” She kissed me again, but I broke it as soon as I could force myself to. The feel of her body against mine had me aching to forget my good intentions. In my imagination I could clearly see myself pinning her against a tree and taking things further.
“So what do you want to do?”
“What we’re doing right now is pretty nice.”
Pretty nice was an understatement. “It is. But I already cancelled our reservation.”
“We could just go back to your place.”
That idea sounded both perfect and suggestive considering the tightness of my pants. She hadn’t been in my room yet, but I could clearly picture her there, I had plenty of imagination where Aura was concerned.
Lenora was right that I needed to find out the fae customs and do it right. As soon as possible.