Chapter 34 Slipping
Jack
My coffee fueled day was going great, at least until I got a late morning text from Aura’s father’s phone saying that she couldn’t make it tonight. I was disappointed, my wolf was worried, but I didn’t let myself get too worked up about it.
Then, Lenora told me that Aura said she wouldn’t be needing a dress after all when my secretary tried to get her measurements. My wolf panicked. I had thought we had gotten past her shutting me out, like we were finally starting to understand each other, like she was willing to be with me fully when she was finally ready.
My ridiculously high hopes came crashing back to earth. My focus scattered, and nothing went right for the rest of the day.
Lenora could see it. By three-thirty in the afternoon, she had had enough of me and my distracted mind.
“That’s it, boss. Go see her.”
“But—”
“You’re useless like this, Jack. I’ll clear your schedule. The sooner you propose and marry her, the better for you and for Meteor.”
“Propose?”
“She’s not a werewolf, Jack. She’s probably not going to be satisfied by just a bite on her neck and lots of sex.” Lenora’s face was stern. “Although most female werewolves would probably prefer if their mates put in a bit more effort, too, come to think of it.”
I just gaped at her.
She glared at me. “Why are you still standing there? Go! And while you’re at it, find out fae marriage customs before you screw anything else up. You’re better than this! Ugh.”
I decided not to argue with her. She might just have a point. “See you tomorrow then.”
As I walked away, under her breath—although I had no doubt that she knew I would hear—she muttered, “Most eligible bachelor? More like most eligible...”
I shrugged and headed down the elevator. I’d driven myself to work since Paul’s mate had a maternity appointment, so I skipped going home and went straight to her community to find her. Since it wasn’t that late and I knew she worked for her aunt, I decided to try the address I’d gotten off of the packing slip from the most recent delivery of Darrow’s fairy juice.
I parked on the road in front of the driveway leading to what seemed to be just another regular fae home, and strode up to the door, hiding my caution and concerns under a flimsy layer of bravado. All my instincts were screaming about trouble, but I didn’t care about that. I was especially worried that she was getting pressure from the other fae that made her regret giving me a chance. I had to convince her otherwise, whatever it took. It might not be easy, but I needed her to believe that I was worth the trouble.
I knocked, and I began to think no one was there, when I heard movement from behind the door. It opened, revealing a young fae, presumably Lark, from what Aura had told me.
She looked up at me with narrowed eyes, a lock of pink hair falling into her eyes. “What do you want?”
“I was hoping to find Aura Darrow so that I could speak with her.”
“She’s busy right now.”
“I won’t keep her long.”
“Are you that Jack I talked to on the phone?”
“I am.”
“Huh.” She continued to inspect me. Finally she said, “Wait right there,” before closing the door on my face.
A couple minutes passed, and I began to wonder if the little fae had decided to just leave me standing out there, when footsteps sounded around the side of the house a moment before Aura appeared, as jaw-droppingly beautiful as ever. She did not smile at me the way I had come to expect her to, and the bad premonition inside me grew. Maybe the problem was not something someone else had done, this seemed to be something I had done. I wracked my brain, but I couldn’t come up with anything she might be upset with me over. Sure I had screwed up a few times with the meat and the flowers, but I had thought she wasn’t holding my missteps against me.
“What are you doing here?” she asked without preamble, her tones freezing.
I hid my unease and tried to act casual. “I was hoping to talk with you.”
“About what?”
“About why you’re shutting me out again.”
She narrowed her eyes. “We can go a few days without seeing each other. I’m allowed to have time to myself.”
Her words hurt. “I’m not saying you don’t. It just seemed like you wanted to see me, and now suddenly you don’t. I just want to know what changed. I can’t fix problems I don’t know about.”
She exhaled, relaxing slightly from her tense pose, although by no means back to the contented attitude I had grown used to in the past few days. “I needed time to think, okay?”
“Okay.” It wasn’t okay, but what the hell else could I say? It felt like she was slipping away from me again and my wolf was desperate to cling to her harder because of that.
She watched me coldly for another long moment before she sighed. “Fine. If you want to talk, we’ll talk. Let me show you something. Follow me.”
She went inside the house, and I followed her. Lark watched as we went by with a very skeptical look for someone who couldn’t be more than ten.
“I just need to use the computer,” Aura explained to her cousin over her shoulder as she led the way. While there was a different setup, the house had a similar natural appearance to Aura’s parents’, but I couldn’t really focus on it with the growing lump in my chest.
The computer turned out to be a laptop that had to be at least five years outdated if not more, but it turned on well enough. It looked out of place sitting in a chaotic room with a window stuffed full of plants, baskets and dried plants hanging from the ceiling, and gardening instruments piled haphazardly on a filing cabinet, but I supposed that was the base of their business.
She sat down on the swivel computer chair and logged into the computer slowly, clearly not particularly familiar with it, leaving me to loom over her. I chose to kneel beside her at her level on the chair while I watched her navigate to the internet. The web browser had been left already open on a page, and it only took a moment for me to clue into what she was upset about. Trashy websites that picked apart the lives of the rich and famous, and I was just barely enough of both to occasionally get caught up in their nets, mostly since I’d casually dated a moderately famous human actress a few years ago.
It hadn’t bothered me in the past, I’d actually enjoyed the small notoriety, but seeing it through her eyes made me rethink my attitude.
“Aura, it’s not whatever you’re thinking,” I pleaded.
“Really? I want to believe you, but I also don’t want to get played for a fool.” She swivelled in the chair to look at me.
“I swear I’m not playing with you.”
“But how do I know that?” She sighed. “You look just as happy with them as you do with me, and I don’t know what to think,” she said, pointing at a picture of me talking with a trio of beauties—although none of them had anything on Aura.
“I was never happy before you. You’re my mate.”
“You say that. But I don’t feel it the way you do. For you it’s a fact, for me, it’s impressions, it’s trust.You’re asking for a lot of trust. And do mates even always work out? Are they always perfect for each other, perfectly happy?”
I couldn’t lie to her. “No. They don’t. But we’re not like that, Aura. We work well together. You can see it.”
“Do we, though? We’re from different worlds.”
My wolf’s desperation grew as I tried to think of something to say. He longed to mark her and was trying to take control as if his input would make the situation better.
“Your eyes,” she said, looking at me closely.
“What about them?” I asked, although I could guess.
“They’re...flickering. Golden yellow from your normal colour.”
My wolf hadn’t pushed so hard in years, not since around the time I hit puberty, and maybe not even then. I took a deep breath. “My wolf side is panicking.” My voice was admirably calm and factual considering the way my mind was flailing. It wasn’t just my wolf side feeling that desperation.
“And do what?”
Would the truth scare her away? Maybe, but lies wouldn’t be better. “Mark you, mostly, although I just want everything from you, Aura. I’ve been waiting for you for my entire life. And I’ll ignore my instincts and wait as long as you need.”
Her eyes swam with emotions, both good and bad. She wanted to believe me, but she didn’t quite trust me.
And I wanted that trust, desperately. The truth might sway her, although it was difficult to admit and I’d never planned to say otherwise.
I took a deep breath, and fought the embarrassment that welled up inside me.