SWNOVELS Chapter 48: Fight
I scoff, moving to stand behind the couch and crossing my arms over my chest in an attempt to use my limbs as a barrier between us.
"Talk about what? How I was raped? Or how you lied to my face about it?"
Heloix crouches and holds out his arms for me, but I remain put, rejecting his hold. He seems genuinely upset, but I can't bring myself to care, too upset about his trickery to feel bad for him.
"Addie, I thought it would be better if you didn't know." He explains, running his hand through his curls.
"Everybody knows, Heloix!" I shout, flinging out my right arm and gesturing to the world that sits outside the wing. "How did you think I wouldn't find out when everybody knows?"
He opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off, stepping around the couch towards his body. "And instead of telling me yourself, you lied and waited until I found out from a fucking note."
I watch through narrowed eyes as he stands back up and steps away from the door, his mouth set into a stern frown as he approaches me. I back away from him, moving to my original position behind the couch.
"You're a shit mate," I state, the words intended to hurt.
Heloix visibly deflates at my declaration, shoulders hunching forward in defeat.
"No, I'm not." He argues, voice losing its soft touch as it shifts into something hard and unfamiliar.
I back up another step, putting some extra distance between us.
"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you the truth. I wanted to spare you the pain of knowing." He murmurs. "The image is burned into my head, and I didn't want it burned into yours as well."
Heloix moves forward abruptly and wraps his arms around me, forcing my frozen body into his chest.
I remain still under his touch, reminding myself that actions speak louder than words. If he really cared for me he wouldn't have lied, and would have told me the truth before I had to find out this way.
Grabbing onto his arms that sit around my waist, I yank at them in an attempt to avoid his touch. He adjusts his hold to my arms so there is some space between us, but it isn't enough for me. I don't want him to touch me. I don't want anybody to touch me.
"You're not sorry you didn't tell me. You're just sorry you got caught." I snap, eyes narrowing as I glare at him. "You still deny that I am your mate."
A deep growl reverberates from his chest, eyes flickering before settling on the darkness of his Beast. His claws dig into my forearms, the sharp nails jabbing painfully into the skin.
"My human, stop." He grumbles.
Smacking his hands away, I turn to walk into our bedroom, needing some distance. Large hands clamp down on my shoulders, fingers wrapping around the muscle as Heloix forcibly spins me back around to face him.
"Do not walk away from me."
"You don't get to tell me what to do." I snap, jerking out of his hold for what feels like the tenth time. "You don't get to refuse to claim me and then turn around and make demands of me in the same breath."
Heloix stares at me incredulously for a moment before breaking out into a loud laugh. I glare up at him, annoyed by his reaction to my words, my aggravation growing as he shakes his head in amusement.
"And you don't get to demand that I claim you." He deadpans, eyes cold as he spits the words at me.
My body tenses at his statement.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I snap.
Despite my anger, I find myself needy for reassurance that he still wants me after the harsh words I shared. Heloix steps away from me as I move towards him, the reaction furthering my anxiety that I have pushed him too far. My goal of spreading the news that I'm his mate was to anger him, but now that I've had some time to digest, I realize that it might not have been the best idea.
In fact, with a heavy heart, I realize just how stupid of an idea it was. I shouldn't have put my needs above that of the humans. There is a plan for a reason. My jaw clenches shut as I dwell over my actions, fearful that Heloix will turn me away.
He probably thinks I'm too temperamental to be his mate now.
"You want to claim me," I repeat, my voice sounding weak even to my ears.
"Do I?"
Heloix takes another step back, his heel colliding with the front door. Angrily, I move towards him again, not enjoying this little power trip he's on.
"I have an entire kingdom to care for, and you put it all at risk just to hurt me." Heloix snaps, crossing his arms over his chest. "If you want to express your anger, then stab me in the hand with a fucking fork or destroy the objects I treasure. That's a reaction I can handle."
Heloix continues before I can say anything.
"I'm sorry that me bending over backward for you isn't enough. Putting both myself and my entire fucking kingdom at risk so you can feel better about yourself. All so you can beg for my cock guilt-free."
He shakes his head in disbelief.
My eyes begin to wetten as he speaks, blood running cold as he refuses to meet my gaze. Of all the ways I intended this conversation to go, this was the last thing I could have planned for. Heloix has never spoken to me in such a way, his demeanor often calm and comforting.
I take another step towards him, breath audibly shaky as it falls from my lips. Heloix doesn't move away from me again, which I take as a good sign. Tentatively I slide my foot forward another inch, freezing as his head drops down and his eyes lock in on mine.
His face softens as he spots my tears, a regretful sigh falling from his lips as he quickly closes the distance between us. His arms wrap around my body before he ducks down and tucks his head into my neck.
With my arms pinned to my sides, he lifts me into the air, holding me tightly against him. My face is smooshed almost painfully against his body, but I hardly mind.
He refuses to break eye contact with me as he sets me back down, his pupils blown out as he cranes his neck down to stare at me.
"I'm so sorry Adeline. I shouldn't have kept it from you, and I definitely shouldn't have lied to you when you asked." He murmurs, fingers lightly tracing my jawline. "I'm sorry that you think I'm a shit mate, but I'm doing the best I can. These things take time, and I know it sucks, but people will die if you don't stop rushing me."
I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out, the silence deafening between us. Heloix doesn't seem to mind the quiet, his fingers dropping from my skin as he steps back.
"I hold no anger with you for being mad at me, but I am furious that you've put yours, my kingdom, and my life at risk today for the sole purpose of hurting me."
Gasping, I move forward and grab his hand, realizing just how painful my rejections to him are as he rips it out of my hold and looks away.
"I'm sorry." I plead, not enjoying this angry side of him I'm encountering.
Heloix shakes his head, refusing my apology. In desperation, I try to grab onto his hand once more, knowing he likes to hold it, but he turns before I have the chance and walks into his old bedroom, the door slamming shut behind him.
"There aren't even bedsheets in there." I shout, my voice cracking slightly as the angry tears I've been holding back begin to fall.
The door creaks open and Heloix pops his head out, mouth set into a hard line despite the softness of his eyes.
"I have no intentions of sleeping in this room."
The door slams behind him once more, and I angrily reach up and wipe the tears away. Finally alone, I slump down on the couch and drop my head into my hands, massaging my temples in an attempt to soothe the massive headache forming behind my eyes.
I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but think back to what I thought was my first time with Heloix, feeling foolish for not realizing that something was off by my lack of pain. Small tears bubble up and streak down my cheeks as I remember how happy I was to share myself with him, to give him a piece of me that I thought I still had.
With a shiver, I bring my hands to my mouth and rock forward in the seat as I think about what happened the day I was attacked. I still don't remember anything that happened after the guard hit me in the head, but my skin crawls just thinking about it. And the fact that others walked in and saw.
I glance over at the door Heloix exited through, heart cracking at what he must have felt when he walked in on the guard defiling me.
Another sob falls from my throat as I take it in, my pulse pounding in my head. I squeeze my eyes shut in an attempt to block it out, but it does nothing to relieve the pain.
Rocking back and forth in the seat, I force myself to take a couple of deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. Unfortunately, it does little to help and my heart continues to pound in my chest, the beating deafening in my ears and furthering the pain in my skull.
Glancing at the door once more, I spring to my feet and march over to it, knocking gently on the wood despite my abrupt approach. I know he's angry with me, and I know that I should give him space, but my desperation for his comfort pushes me to seek him out despite it.
Heloix wastes no time ripping open the door, his eyes wide with concern as he looks down at me.
"I was raped." I cry out, melting into him as he pulls me into his chest.
My tears begin falling even faster as he does this, remorse for my actions today coupled with the unbearable news pushing me over the edge. Heloix murmurs quiet assurances onto the top of my head, pressing soft kisses into my hair every couple of seconds in an attempt to calm me down.
His actions only serve to worsen my cries, the wetness dampening his shirt. I pull away to wipe off my face, but he beats me to it, his hands gently cupping my face as his thumbs wipe away the wetness on my cheeks.
"I don't care if you believe it or not, but I'm not going to let anybody, human or Beast, lay a finger on you ever again."