The Christmas List: A Novel

Next year I’m putting up lights, Kier thought as he pulled into his driveway, then quickly thought, No, I’ll hire someone to do it.

He parked in the driveway next to the nurse’s car. As he walked in he found her in the kitchen sitting by the telephone, writing in Sara’s chart.

“How is she?”

The nurse quickly looked up. From her expression he could tell that something wasn’t right. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I was just going to call you. She took a turn maybe a half hour ago.”

“A turn?”

“I think it’s time, Mr. Kier.”

Kier’s chest constricted. “Where’s my son?”

“He was here with his fiancée, but Sara made them go up to Juliet’s parents in Ogden.”

“Have you called him?”

“I tried just a minute ago, but he didn’t answer.”

Kier pulled out his cell phone and dialed Jimmy’s number but it went right to voice mail. “Do you have a number for Juliet?”

“I might.” She walked over to the refrigerator and ran her finger down a list of names and numbers. “Here it is.”

Kier looked at the number and dialed. A young female voice answered. “Hello?”

“Juliet, this is James, Jimmy’s father. Is Jimmy with you?”

“He’s talking to my dad. Is something wrong?”

“I need to talk to him right away.”

“I’ll get him.” He heard her say, “It’s your father.”

Jimmy’s voice was cautious. “Hello?”

“You need to come home. Right away.”

“We’re on our way.”

Kier turned to the nurse. “Have you heard from her sister?”

“Ms. Beth is still out of town. Would you like me to call?”

“Please.”

Kier walked down the hallway to Sara’s room. He could hear the quiet hiss of the oxygen apparatus. He gently opened the door and looked inside. Sara’s eyes were closed. He went in and sat in the chair next to her and took her hand.

“Hey, beautiful.”

She smiled at the sound of his voice though she didn’t open her eyes. She said weakly, “Hi.”

“Merry Christmas.” He kissed her cheek.

“I didn’t get you anything,” she said.

“Not even coal?”

“You’re not a bad boy.”

“You gave me everything I wanted.”

She opened her eyes and looked into his.

Kier ran the back of his hand gently over her cheek. “You never stopped believing in me, did you?”

“I never stopped loving you.”

He rubbed her hand. “How are you feeling?”

She didn’t answer but closed her eyes again and swallowed. Tears ran down her cheeks. Kier couldn’t hold back his own.

“I’m sorry I can’t stop this,” she said. “I’m so sorry.”

He took a tissue from the nightstand and wiped the tears from her face. “I’m just sorry I wasted all that time.” They were both silent for a moment. He took her hand and gently ran his fingers down hers. “Are you afraid?”

“A little.”

“Just think of all the people who will be waiting for you. It will be like a Who concert. They’ll have to take tickets.”

Her laugh erupted into a cough.

“. . . me, on the other hand.”

“I’ll be waiting,” she said.

“I doubt they’ll let you in where I’m going.”

“Remember how I used to sneak into your room without your dad knowing?”

Kier smiled in recollection. “How could I forget that?” He gently ran his finger over her lips. “With you there, it wouldn’t be hell.”

“Without you, it wouldn’t be heaven.”

He lay his head on her shoulder and she kissed the top of his head. For nearly twenty minutes they sat until the silence was broken by the doorbell. A moment later the nurse entered. She had a bemused expression on her face. “Mr. Kier?”

“Yes?” he said without looking up.

“There’s a delivery . . .”

“Tell them I’ll be right out.”

She left.

“A delivery?” Sara asked.

“Remember what you said at your mother’s funeral?”

“I said a lot of things.”

“Yes. You said, ‘It’s a shame that people give flowers too late.’ I’ll be right back.” He walked outside the room and a moment later he came back in carrying a large bouquet of daisies. He set them on the nightstand next to her.

“I love daisies.”

“I know.”

“They’re beautiful.”

“I’m glad you approve, because I got you a few of them.” He turned toward the door and said, “Bring them in.”

A man walked in with a cart of flowers; he was followed by another, then still another. Sara’s smile broadened. “What did you do?”

“I think I bought up every daisy in the city. Probably the state. A thousand should be enough.”

“You bought me a thousand daisies?”

“Yes.”

“You’re crazy.” Her delighted smile belied her words.

He smiled at her. “I’ve been called worse.”

She kept smiling as the men came and went, filling the room with flowers. “I don’t think the room will hold them all.”

“We’ll see.”

“How did you get someone to do this on Christmas Eve?”

“Money’s good for some things.”

“They’ll be nice at my funeral.”

Kier’s smile fell. “Don’t say that. Please.”

The flowers covered nearly every available surface in the room. Sara held his hand as tightly as she could.

“What do you need from me?” Kier asked.

“Take care of our boy.”

“I will. I promise.”

“He’s a good boy.”

“I know. You did a good job with him. I’ll take good care of him. Not as good as you did, but I’ll do my best. I’ll get myself a little bracelet that says WWSD?”

“WWSD?”

“What Would Sara Do?”

She smiled. “No, please don’t do that.”

“I might. It’s a good reminder for a lot of things.” He pressed his cheek against hers. “I love you.”

“I know. That’s all I really wanted for Christmas.”