The Chameleon Shop

Mid-afternoon, Friday 14

Still half expecting to be devoured mid-crossing by that horrid primeval looking monster in the river, Kaylee had finally persuaded the pony to begin walking over the rickety wooden bridge. In reality, the bridge was more solid than it looked at first glance ─ it had to be, for the ox-drawn wagons from the Fire Realm to cross regularly. Even if the safety of the bridge itself was questionable, there was no other option presenting itself, so across they must go.

From the bottom of the mountain it did not seem too much of a hike up that long winding road. This thought lasted until approximately two-thirds the way up where she hit the snowline and a head wind. That icy wind swirled the snow around, biting her nose with needle-sharp teeth. It howled through her eardrums until they ached. The poor pony beneath her shivered as did the monkey tucked down the front of her jade-green cloak. She lowered her hooded-head trying to shelter him from the worst of the blast.

Most of the other guests would already be there but she was considering turning back to save the poor animals and herself from hypothermia. She did not believe it had been Jett’s plan to send his friend up the mountain to become a Popsicle.

Kaylee had not seen the large black-winged horse drop from the sky and land in front of them, but felt it when they were sprayed with a flurry of new fallen snow, which his hooves stirred up. Her pony whinnied a greeting to the Pegasus. His deep-chested reply seemed to perk up the half-frozen pony.

The Pegasus had a big locket about his neck. He moved closer to Kaylee so the locket hung directly in front of her face.

‘Do you have a message for me? Is it in here?’ She picked up the locket and opened it. Sure enough, inside was a note from Opal. Written in gold lettering it read:

Your courage and determination are admirable but I fear you may freeze to death before reaching the castle. Pegasus will fly you to the castle gates. He will not enter, but will wait nearby for your return. Send your cold pony home. With love,

Opal.

Kaylee smiled and looked up to the floating islands in the sky. ‘Thank you!’ She called out and blew a kiss through the snow flurries to Opal, hoping someone would see.

Pegasus knelt on his front leg so she could climb up behind his wings.

The pony caught onto the idea quite quickly, that his services were no longer required. He was more than happy to about-turn and head back down the mountain pass for home.

Pegasus leapt into the air. Kaylee grabbed his mane quickly to avoid sliding off his back as they soared upwards in a big spiral which led to the mountaintop in next to no time.

He would not go through the gates, however; there was far too much evil behind those for him to be willing to risk his magnificent hide. In the air, he felt safe, in the hours between dusk and dawn when the wasps slept. But he would not walk into the lion’s den. A horse’s instinct was too deeply ingrained for that.

Not to worry, Kaylee had the dragon’s key and she assured him she would be fine from here. At least she hoped she would.

She stood in awe of Wilfrey Hobb’s castle gates. Towering black wrought iron bars topped with spikes. At present, in aid of the Masquerade Ball, they were open.

She slid off her pack and opened it to search for the dragon’s key. She dug about and moved things, searched and cursed and began to become seriously worried that she had lost it. Then a thought occurred to her and she looked at the shivering monkey sitting on the snow-covered road. He had his hands behind his back and was looking guilty again.

‘Hand it over you!’

Willy handed it over, smartly.

‘You’re pushing your luck mate! I don’t like you that much.’

He screeched and smiled at her with a disturbing grin and she shook her head at him in frustration.

With her eyes closed, she took the key and waved it around her body, starting at her head, then front and back as Saorsa had told her to. She imagined a beautiful dress like the ones that her music dolls at home wore, from the days of Knights and Princesses. Ball gowns with lace, silk, tiny waists and big hips. She felt a heavy weight drag on her body and opened her eyes, almost not believing what she saw.

The gorgeous dress was a deep-purple satin, just like the ones on the dolls. With such a tight waist she found it difficult now to draw a deep breath. It also had a huge bustle on the back.

‘Guess where you’re going to be hiding?’ she smiled at the monkey.

With his other hand, he pulled out a beautiful purple and black mask, glittering with what looked like diamonds. He handed this to Kaylee and she held it up to her face, feeling rather lovely. Thank God, she still had her red Chucks on though. After all, if she was careful, no one could see them under that dress, could they? And she would hate to try learning to walk in her first heels on a mountaintop covered with a layer of slippery ice and snow. That would just be stupid.

She could see the guests from other parts of the Five Realms. They were making their way along the path lit by many flaming torches, leading to the main doors and the castle foyer. Daylight had all but gone and it was now dark enough that a few stars were visible in the indigo sky.

Part of the path wound closer to the fenced grounds where the hagars were kept. They roamed free in there, prowling up and down the high fence, growling at people and baring their teeth.

When Kaylee happened to walk past, two of the hagars seemed to recognise her scent. They began to get over excited, barking, snarling and foaming at the mouth. They were drawing attention she really didn’t need right now.

Her heart sped up and a nervous sweat broke out on her forehead when from within the bustle Willy surfaced with a handful of bacon rashers.

Sometimes it was useful having a kleptomaniac for a companion.

He extended his little hand from the edge of her skirt and dropped the bacon beside her dress, as near as he could reach to the hagar’s fence. It did a marvellous job of distracting the slobbering, mangy, hairy beasts.

They immediately lost interest in Kaylee and attacked each other, fighting to be first to get to the rashers, which none of them could as they were behind a strong fence. It distracted them until well after Kaylee had made her way into the entrance foyer of the castle and past the stoneys guarding the entry door.

The gargoyles shouted at the hagars to ‘shut up and quiet down before the master hears you!’ As Kaylee passed through the door behind the other guests the guards had given her a look of deep suspicion; but she was a tall girl, of similar height to most of the other women.

She was walking comfortably in her concealed red Chucks and then of course they could not see her face behind that lovely glittery black and purple mask. She glided past without a hitch, very tempted to high-five the first guest she came across, but instead settled for a well-earned sigh of relief.

Candelabra were everywhere and flaming bowls of oil hung on walls, shedding a romantic light. There were mirrors on every wall, suits of armour in most corners, lethal medieval weaponry on display, tapestries, rugs, statues ─ a glut of riches. This place was a stark contrast to the simple existence everyone else in the Five Realms led, royalty or otherwise.

Kaylee came across a tall ice-sculpture of Wilfrey. She felt naughty but could not resist moving one of the candelabrum closer, positioning it between the ice legs where it would melt his crotch over time. Chuckling to herself she followed the line of guests towards the main ball room.

She could hear the music, smell the roast meat and feel the excitement in the air. So mesmerized by it all, she nearly forgot her mission ... to steal a dragon’s egg.

Kaylee had never seen Wilfrey before, but he was not hard to single out from the crowded room of people. She had pictured him in her mind as a dark-haired, greasy looking, smarmy Sales-Rep type of person, who was dressed pompously with more hair-product and makeup on than most women in the room would wear. The guy who laughed louder at his own jokes than anyone present and had to pause and check himself out at every mirror or shiny surface he walked passed.

Actually, he could have been Paul’s evil twin, she noted.

Of course Wilfrey had never set eyes on Kaylee either. So initially, he did not recognise her. In any case, he was too full of his own self-importance, lapping up all the attention from the representatives from the Five Realms to take much notice of an unfamiliar young woman in a purple satin gown.

The Boars-Head Inn owner, Rollo from the Fire Realm, was present. He wore a mask but his thick Scandinavian accent was easily recognisable. Betina was his escort this evening, at Wilfrey’s request, she told Kaylee.

Betina knew it was Kaylee beneath that purple mask, but she kindly did not let the girl’s secret slip. Her thick wavy black locks were elegantly wound up in a silver hair net which sat upon her head like a crown.

Kaylee picked up some savoury item from the buffet table nearby and nibbled at it absentmindedly, while surveying the room out of the corner of her eye. She was near enough to Betina that when Wilfrey approached the lovely gypsy woman, Kaylee could eavesdrop on their conversation. Wilfrey was at present asking Betina ‘did she have any idea who the strange girl was?’

Kaylee nearly choked on her chicken kebab. Never fear though, Betina feigned ignorance of this girl of whom he had spoken. Wilfrey then kissed her hand, lingering way longer than is polite and looked up at her with his seedy goo-goo eyes. When he finally turned and ponced away, she wiped her hand on her skirt in disgust.

The representatives from the Water Realm were there. Even though he was wearing a mask, it was obviously Captain Riordan. They did not call him Pinky for nothing. Through his arm, was the arm of a vivacious and buxom lady-friend. Kaylee kept up her mask to hide from him, but he seemed rather distracted by his lady-friend so she escaped his notice for now.

Kaylee grabbed a goblet of some red liquid from the tray of a servant man wandering about the ballroom and sipped experimentally. ‘Wine, yuck! Why do grown-ups drink that rubbish?’ She put the goblet back down on the tray of the next servant who came along.

The Wind Realm had sent two lovely Elvin people Kaylee had not yet met. Wearing masks was like putting a red nose on an elephant. Those angelic people would stand out in a crowd no matter what mask they wore. She caught their eyes as they passed, but they just smiled at her kindly and carried on their conversation as they towered above the shorter people in the hall. Which was pretty much everyone.

Speaking of shorter people, the Earth Realm’s gnome King, Mossbreath, was there laughing and joking with his partner, a sweet little gnome woman with wavy red hair and a pleasant smile. His purple beard was a lovely accessory for the event. He recognized Kaylee and smiled, eyes creased mischievously.

However King Mossbreath was not one to be anyone’s puppet. He did not go out of his way to do Wilfrey any favours. It was King Mossbreath’s opinion that if the vain twaddle was too much a fool to see an enemy in his ballroom, then the man deserved whatever mayhem the girl brought to him. He winked and played along with it to see how far she could get with her crazy plan ... whatever that may be.

‘Hello, I don’t believe we’ve met. What is your name dear?’ He asked politely as they approached.

Kaylee hoped that the King wasn’t going to blow her cover. ‘Ah, it’s um, Joan?’ She was freaking out; Joan of Arc was the first medieval woman she could think of. Mossbreath could expose her easily, but did not. Perhaps he felt bad for sending her down the garbage chute. Well, and so he should.

’Good evening, Joan,’ he gave Kaylee an exaggerated wink, ‘this is my good friend Rose of Bracken woods.’

Rose put her hand out to Kaylee, ‘Pleased to meet you, Joan. I loooove that gown you have on. Purple really is my favourite colour.’ She beamed an affectionate smile at King Mossbreath and gave his purple beard a friendly scratch under the chin.

‘We hope to see some more of you tonight then.’ He put his arm through Rose’s and they moved on to mingle with the crowd some more. Kaylee let out a relieved sigh.

There was a group of musicians playing in the corner. One had a strange medieval guitar, one a flute and the third a type of drum. The music was a bit naff Kaylee thought, but ok once you got used to it. She boogied a little to herself where she stood, while looking about for the best place to begin the search for the dungeon rooms. Also deciding how best to make her exit with the minimum of notice from everyone, especially their host, Wilfrey the Vain!

The Shaman had told Jett that she would not be coming to the ball. In her words, she told him, ‘She couldn’t stand the idiot and was planning on sending Cherish in her place instead.’

Cherish was dancing with a handsome young gentleman, both in their traditional leather clothes; pale white in colour with tiny shells and beads sewn into the tunic in wonderful geometric designs. The man wore leggings and Cherish had a longish dress, but her lovely brown legs were still showing from the calf down, drawing many an approving stare from the men. She wore white moccasins to match her dress, with tiny silver bells on them. These tinkled wondrously as she danced.

She saw Kaylee but pretended not to recognise her.

When the music stopped, Cherish came over to get a drink from the table where Kaylee stood.

‘Hello, Cherish. I hope Paedro is still doing well?’ Kaylee asked her quietly, though there was much chatter in the room and no one could have overheard their conversation unless they were right in front of her.

‘Yes, my son is doing well now, barely a limp. Thank you for your kind thoughts.’

‘Your son?’ This revelation was a surprise to Kaylee.

‘Yes, he would be about your age now.’

Kaylee looked at the man with her. ‘Is this his ─?’

‘No. No it’s not. His father could not deal with what happened to our son. He went away one evening and we have not seen him in years.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry, that must have been hard on your family,’ Kaylee replied.

‘We fear he may have fallen prey to the stoneys or hagars. This is my cousin, Dante,’ Cherish said, not wanting to dwell on sad days.

‘Hello, Dante,’ their tribe didn’t shake hands so they just nodded to each other respectfully. ‘Well you two have fun tonight. I must be going. Things to see, places to be,’ Eggs to steal she did not say, but was anxious to get the darned thing and get out of here, before she was caught.

As she mingled, observing all the colourful clothes and strange people, Kaylee proceeded to have a sneaky nosey about the castle. She could rule out the need to venture up the large stone staircases, much as curiosity tempted her to do so.

But then again ... the night was young, she was twelve and a bit rebellious. She was about to venture up the stone staircase when a tall, cadaverous looking man stepped out of the shadows.

‘Oh, Hello,’ Kaylee said realising right away that she should never have spoken to him. No one ever spoke to him and now that she had made the effort, the blighter would not shut up.

‘I am Edmund, the Master’s manservant of course. I have been in the Guardian’s employ for forty odd years now. Master Hobbs would be lost without me, yes sir. He couldn’t find his left hand with his right if you laid it out on the bed in front of him ...’

Kaylee was polite to start with saying the occasional ‘Mmm hm’ and ‘Aha’ in the appropriate places of his endless dribble. In her mind, the clock was ticking, ticking and although this was not a Cinderella deal and she did not plan on turning into a pumpkin at midnight or anything, she still wanted to just get the darned egg and get the heck out of that castle.

He was still talking about ‘starching undies’ or some rubbish when she finally ran out of patience, ‘Alrighty then! Cool story bro!’ She fist-bumped the stunned manservant, then toddled off up the staircase as though she lived there.

She went about six steps then glanced back, but he was not following her. Instead he was wandering into the ballroom shaking his head from side to side, confused, and muttering the words cool story bro?

Everyone else seemed otherwise occupied so she carried on up the stone staircase, all the way to the top where pictures of only Wilfrey hung on every wall space. Sheesh, man. Someone has self-esteem issues.

Lighting the way were long handled torches flaming in iron brackets attached to the stone wall. She could see from the doorways of the many, many bedrooms beautiful four-poster beds, lavishly draped with heavy burgundy velvet canopies. Each room had a massive fireplace, many of them with the fire lit in preparation for guests who would stumble into them later on.

One room was a little smaller and filled with wardrobes. She ducked in and opened the door of one with a loud intrusive ‘creak!’ It bulged with men’s clothes and shoes in the fashion of the age.

Over by the wall stood a duchess with rice powder and white wigs on hat stands. Yes siree, a dandy Wilfrey was for certain. No wonder he had no wife. There was no place in his heart for anyone but his own fine self by the looks of things.

Satisfied with her little look around, although she would love to have gone out on the roof to see the stars and two moons, Kaylee knew she was just procrastinating.

Who wouldn’t, she thought.

Not like it was a nice thing to have to go down to a dungeon, dodge a witch and steal a dragon’s egg without being caught by hideous stone gargoyles or their horrid pig-dog pets, was it? All armed with nothing more than an iron key, which possessed powers ─ some of which she was not even aware and a mischievous little spider monkey.

Oh, heck! She’d managed to lose Willy. Where had the little bugger disappeared to now? ‘Oh dear,’ She said. Not much to be done about it right now. Kaylee just hoped she found the dragon’s egg before Willy got up to his usual tricks.

She descended the staircase feeling rather grand in her lovely dress. She passed through the foyer again and into the ballroom. The long rows of tables were bursting with delicious food; roast vegetables, chicken, pork steaks and lamb shanks.

There was a massive fireplace which had a whole side of beef roasting on a spit inside. A servant stood there turning the handle slowly and basting it with some delicious looking red substance, which smelled like Barbeque Sauce.

Her tummy rumbled as she passed pewter dishes filled with corn, breads, gravy jugs and even a large dish with a pheasant nestled in the centre of its own eggs. There was a suckling pig with an apple in its mouth and a huge fish surrounded by Caviar, called a Sturgeon, somebody told her.

An impressive stack of wine glasses was displayed along one side of the room. Numerous wine glasses were stacked in a tall, intricate pyramid shape which was balanced precariously. Each wine glass half full of red wine, very striking.

There was a big space in the middle of the room for ballroom dancing. High above them Kaylee stared in wonder at the arched gothic ceiling. From this several gigantic candelabra were hung with what must have been at least thirty candles each. The wax from these would often drip onto an unsuspecting passerby.

Wilfrey was not a king but that did not stop him from possessing a very grandiose King-like throne. He sat in this at the top of the hall, staring about the room in his patronising way.

Kaylee ducked into the crowd, trying to avoid his attention as much as possible.

Colourful leadlight windows were everywhere. Their arched shapes threw colourful crisscrossed patterns of moonlight across the flagstone floor and walls. Arched doorways led to side rooms, many with more large fireplaces. Castles were obviously rather difficult to keep warm. Now she understood the barren forests of stumps in the Fire Realm down below.

Kaylee’s thoughts turned to her good friend Jett. She hoped he was all right down in the woods, awaiting her safe return. With a bit of luck, all the stoneys were up here for the night.

Forbidden to enter the ballroom, still they were standing guard at all exit and entry points around the castle.

That is going to make things a little tricky, Kaylee thought.

Jett had told her to search for the dungeons and a fire ─ the egg needed somewhere warm to hatch ─ all the while avoiding Wilfrey, the crone, the stoneys and hagars.

‘No pressure, Kaylee,’ she told herself once more.

Kaylee slipped between people dancing, drinking and generally acting the goat and headed directly toward the lower level hallway. She passed a room that appeared to be the kitchen, judging by all the servants rushing round with trays, mixing bowls of batter and kneading dough on enormous floury tables.

From within the kitchen Kaylee heard a rather plump older woman say, ‘Ah, ah! Not for Wilfrey. Do not put any greens on his plate for heaven’s sakes! He’s likely to throw it at you.’

She wore a white apron and had her grey hair tied up tidily in a white cap. She had been scolding a young servant girl. The girl pulled the greens off the plate and tossed them aside to the dogs on the floor.

The dogs did not want them either.

The plump woman noticed Kaylee hovering in the doorway. ‘Can I be helpin’ ya dear? You’re lookin’ a bit lost.’

‘Oh, sorry. I am. Where’s the ah, you know, the ladies?’ she whispered. She had no dratted idea what to call toilets in these times.

The woman looked very puzzled. Then it dawned on her, ‘Oh, you’ll be meaning the gardy-loo then? It’ll be on the corner, first floor up dear. Hold your breath and breathe through your mouth for a time, if ya get my drift.’ She whispered kindly.

‘Thank you, I’m in a bit of a hurry really,’ Kaylee said.

The plump woman’s smile turned to a frown. ‘Oh dear, I hope the pork’s not gone bad. They’ll be droppin’ like flies,’ she muttered and waddled out to the tables presumably to test the pork.

Keeping well out of the way of the guards, was going to be a bit of a mission, Kaylee realized, when she found herself following a pair of them at a discreet distance. The two gargoyles were ambling along the passage like a couple of hired thugs. One stopped and turned aside to a Knight’s suit of armour, ‘What you lookin’ at?’ he snarled at it, then punched it in the face. The pair laughed as it tumbled in pieces to the floor.

They turned the corner where moonlight fell in a slant through the tall narrow slit of a window. It showed the opening of a narrow staircase, spiralling down to a lower level, on the corner. A turret, Kaylee thought they were called. That is what I want, she thought both scared stiff and excited.

She hung back until the stoneys had turned into another passage. Then she tried to negotiate those tiny little steps, where only the narrowest slit of moonlight shone through to light the dark staircase. After immediately tripping on her dress in the dark, she about-turned back up the stairs, grabbed a flaming torch from the wall in the upper level, in order not to break her neck, and headed back down the spooky spiral into the darkness.

At the bottom, everywhere was black except for one room. Noises and horrid smells came from that room. Delightful … must be the place I am after, she guessed. She crept forward, almost rigid with fear and realized that the light she carried would likely give her away.

She dumped the torch in the water that trickled across the floor wetting the hems of her skirts, before she got close to the Crone’s dingy room. Ghastly smells assaulted her senses, triggering a gag reflex. She had to pause and swallow a couple of times, you can’t throw up, nope, just cannot do it!

There were cages of ferrets and other small animals hanging from the roof beams. She had to dodge these and watch where she stepped, trying not to slide off the slimy planks beneath her chucks. Again, she was pleased she did not have heels on.

The Crone stood, hunched over a bubbling cauldron with her back to Kaylee. She had messy long white hair and a ragged dirty dress.

The main fireplace in the room was off to the side, thankfully. Kaylee had to creep closer to see if the egg was there. It had better be, because she had no plan ‘B’ if it were not!

The Crone’s pet crow sat on a shelf in the shadows, unseen by Kaylee. It was near the door and had seen the girl enter. It cawed a loud warning to the Crone.

Kaylee had to think quickly and shut it up before the Crone noticed her. She grabbed a bucket from the floor nearby and slapped it over the bird, adding a goatskin she yanked off the wall. The crow still cawed but the noise was muffled enough to be hidden by the various potions and pots bubbling and gurgling in the dungeon chamber, as well as the crackle and hiss of the fire in the hearth.

Hiding as best she could Kaylee crept toward the fireplace. She was doing well until she spied the shining large rocklike egg sitting in a wrought iron cradle. It was very close to the fire, almost touching the flames. In her keen haste to get the egg, her wide skirt snagged the edge of a broom leaning against the wall. It hit the floor with a loud ‘BANG!’

Kaylee ducked beneath a sturdy bench next to the wall. ‘Fudge nuggets!’ She hissed at herself in frustration and shivered in the dark, expecting to be discovered any moment now.

The Crone looked around with that creepy, white wonky eye, her long fingernails gripping the neck of a dead bird. She was short with a hunched back and shuffled in Kaylee’s direction a little, then paused and looked suspiciously from side to side around the dungeon. ‘Is someone there?’

Kaylee was well hidden but sweating buckets.

Finally, the Crone lost interest and went back to what she had been doing; tossing disgusting things into her bubbling green cauldron.

Kaylee summoned all her courage and crept out from beneath the shelf, more careful of her large skirts this time, over to where the egg sat in a cradle made from metal.

It was pretty dark even in the firelight, but she could just see the golden gleam from the scale-like shell. When she picked it up, it felt like she imagined snakeskin might feel like. However, it was too dark to see the true depth of all its colours yet. Then the scolding heat in her fingertips made it through to her brain.

Smothering her urge to cry out, she quickly slipped it into the special heat-resistant cloth the dragon had placed in her backpack. Unable to zip it completely closed she tucked it back in the bustle. Sucking her burned fingers and with a last check to make sure the Crone was distracted, she snuck out of the dungeon, tip-toeing silently down the hall and up the spiral stairs again only to bump straight into Wilfrey at the top.

‘Oh dear,’ she gasped, clutching her hand to her heart dramatically. ‘I seem to have gotten a little lost, thank heavens you found me,’ she blurted out the big fat lie.