The Chameleon Shop

Ricky led Kaylee through more tunnels and bridges heading ever deeper into the base of the mountain. The little gnome was a chunky chap, but moved along at a hearty pace. She discovered as she followed him, that he was quite humorous to talk with.

He told jokes, cackling at his own hilarity and started out in a cheerful mood. However as they got deeper into the cavernous tunnels beneath the mountain, his mood grew more and more serious and the friendly banter ceased.

They were both panting with exertion before long. He had set quite a quick pace, as if the Devil was on his tail or something. The sweat ran in beads down his brow and his breath grew more laboured by the minute.

What is up with him? If Kaylee had not been a little taller than he had, she would have been feeling breathless herself.

Eventually they came to a dead-end where there stood a pair of arched wooden doors with big brass rings in the centre of them for knocking. The left one had a painting of a male-gnome dressed like a motorcycle rider, in black leather clothing and wearing dark sunglasses. The one on the right had another biker-gnome, this one female, dressed in black bikini top, leather pants and dark shades.

It reminded her of the cute signs on the restrooms for boys and girls toilets at home. She grinned at Ricky.

The tubby gnome farted about, sighing and muttering. He put his palm on his chin, head tilted to the side as he strained his memory to solve the puzzle. Finally, he said, ‘Ok, now which one is it again?’

Kaylee was thinking to herself, please don’t ask me, please, please don’t ask me... I HATE riddles!

Ricky seemed rather irritable and impatient. He sat down on a large rock to rest and pulled out some dried herb from his pocket, stuffed this in the chamber of the bowl, then lit his pipe to think. ’Oh, wish I was ‘ome,’ he whined. ‘The missus is makin’ Bundt cake for supper, you know? ‘Ere, Kaylee, you don’t know which door it is? Do you?’

Kaylee shook her head and heard a deep ’Ribbit’ from the ground around her ankles. Two large warty toads she’d not noticed before, sat there in the dark shadows; one at the base of each door.

The toad on the left, in front of the male biker-gnome said, ‘one door leads to ze chamber,’ in a French sounding accent.

Then the other toad added, ‘and ze other one to certain death.’

‘Not much of a choice then, is it?’ Kaylee muttered, annoyed with hands on her hips.

The first toad said, ‘you may ask us which.’

The second toad added, ‘but one of us always lies!’

‘Well that’s just marvellous, that is.’ She sighed loudly and kicked a random rock off in the opposite direction. ‘Oh, darn it! I can never get this one!’ Kaylee frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. She began to pace back and forth in front of the doors.

After an interminable wait, where the silence was deafening Kaylee looked to Ricky for an answer. He just shrugged, answers as lost to him as they were to her. Finally Kaylee snapped, turned to the toad on the left and said, ‘Oh come on! Can’t you just tell me?’

‘Times up! Make your choice now,’ croaked the toad on the left, ‘or ze door will seal shut for eternity!’

’Oh ’eck!’ said Ricky. ‘That could be a problem.’

‘I’ve made my decision,’ Kaylee said, completely out of patience with the toad.

‘Oh yeah?’ Ricky asked clambering off the rock, looking hopeful. ‘What’s that then?’

She bent over and picked up the surprised Toad on the left. ‘I’ve decided you are the most annoying slimy, warty little creature I have ever come across and you’ve now forced me to do something I really didn’t want to do!’

‘Hey?’ cried the toad, long legs dangling as she hoisted him up in the air. ‘What are you doing?’

She pulled the latch on the left door, the one with the male-biker-gnome on it.

‘You cannot be doing zis! Zis is un-acceptable be-aviour!’ The toad cried.

Kaylee pulled open the door with a loud screech from its rusted hinges and tossed the toad in, slamming it shut. She leant against it with her arms crossed defiantly and glared at the shocked Ricky, daring him to object.

‘Ahhhhh! ... Ahhhhhhhh!’ Went the toad’s terrified screams from the depths of the darkness below. Another long ‘ahhhhhh!’ then ... ‘ang on a minute, ha ha, I zink, it might be alright, ha ha.’

BOOM! The ground shook and pebbles, dust and webs tumbled down the walls. Grey smoke clouds wafted up and out from beneath the crack at the bottom of the door.

‘Nope,’ said Kaylee coughing and waving away the smoke. ‘Not that one!’

‘Yes, now I remember,’ Ricky said belatedly, ‘it’s the one on the right.’

‘Oh, do you now? Why do you say that?’ Kaylee said sarcastically.

’I know, because my missus tells me all the time... women are always right!’ He grinned and laughed.

She found she was beginning to like Ricky ... at least then she was.

Kaylee pulled the latch and they entered the door on the right. It led to another tunnel where they walked up and down hills several times before eventually splitting into two tunnels again.

Kaylee sighed loudly again. She was getting a little bit tired of these darn caves. She put her hands on her hips and looked at Ricky, questioning.

‘She will roast you, you know?’ The gnome said, meaning the dragon. ‘You sure you wouldn’t rather join me and the missus for Bundt cake? Must be hungry by now?’ He raised his eyebrow, making one last effort to change her mind.

Her stomach growled traitorously reminding her she had had no breakfast, but no. She had to see the dragon.

The split caves had one going up and one sloping down. Surely, he knew which way the dragon’s cavern was.

‘Do you ever think of anything besides your belly?’ she asked him.

‘Well I must get going home or I will be sleeping on the sofa tonight ...’ He turned to scamper away, very hesitant to linger.

‘But which way is it?’ Kaylee asked, panicking a little.

‘It’s logical innit?’ He called back as he scurried away. ‘The dragons cavern is a long ways beneath us. Hardly gonna want to take the up ramp are you?’

Jett

A ghost drifting through the trees, creeping silent as a shadow, Jett placed each paw with the utmost care as he stalked his prey. It was grazing beneath him, upwind.

His powerful muscles bunched in his thighs, tail still now and he shot from the rock, coming down hard and lightening fast on the unsuspecting young buck beneath. He sank his fangs deep in its neck and held firm until the fallen animal stopped struggling, stopped breathing.

He let go and uttered, ‘Thank you for giving your life, that I might feed mine.’ Then he grasped its neck in his powerful jaws and dragged the limp body through the long grass on a trail, very familiar to him.

He could hear the tiny mewling sounds from inside the mound of earth. It was behind the bush that his mate had used to camouflage the opening. Shoving it aside with his paw, he quietly poked his head in and with his excellent feline eyesight, could see in the dim light his mate, a female of the giant cat breed, called Selene.

She was lying on her side as she smiled up at him. Their three-week-old cubs massaged her and drank greedily lying side-by-side, two short-fat sausages.

Looking at him adoringly, ‘Daddy’s home,’ she whispered.

‘And he’s brought you some supper,’ he whispered back and crawled into the confined space so he could affectionately smooch faces with her.