SWNOVELS Chapter 228
Sylvana snaps around at his approach, guiltily, and immediately jumps up to meet him. She's saying something under her breath, fixing his bow tie and jacket hurriedly. His hands go to his hair to calm it down, suggesting she's pointed out that he looks a little less groomed than before, and I can't help but watch the expression on his face, as he does what he's told to, with zero argument. He's completely out of his depth and nothing at all like the Jake Carrero I know and love. His eyes are raking in the faces of the people around the room, as though taking some sort of mental checklist.
My stomach tightens and my hands get clammy again. His behavior is all I need to see to know I'm right about what he has planned. Only one thing could make Jake this scared out of his mind that even his appearance is something he's oblivious of.
Fuck. He's really going to do this, isn't he? He's going to do this, and they all know! It's why They're all here and why she's fussing over his clothes. It's not that I don't want it, it's just so public and so... Oh my God! It hits me suddenly ... Fireworks and a floor show!
His words. His promise. He really is going to do this after all. Tonight. Here!
My insides lurch up in a terrifying need to throw up. I stare down at my cold trembling, clammy hands, and take steady breaths, long, low and calm. Deliberately holding them longer and counting it out.
I won't run. I won't freak. I can do this. I have hurt him so many times and it always ended up hurting me as well. I need to relax and trust him on this, go with the flow just like he would. Don't ruin something so obviously special.
I glance up as he moves to me, catching his eyes instantly, and somehow that small contact changes his demeanor. He grounds me the way he always seems to. Those endless eyes and his handsome face bringing me out of my own head. I seem to be calming him too and he's returning the favor, if we keep looking at one another then maybe I can get through this without turning into a crazy loon who high tails it out of the door in a ridiculously long dress.
I love him, he's all I need. His heart is just as fragile as mine, don't bruise it, Emma.
"Dance with me?" he asks, holding out a trembling hand as he gets to my side. I take one last steadying breath to push it all down as far as I can and try to find my inner bravery. I smile up at him, adoringly, and brace for what is about to happen, resigning to let him take the lead.
You won't fuck this up, Emma.
He moves against me on the dance floor as the orchestra plays a smooth ballad, soft and romantic, and others join us on the floor. His eyes on mine and even though he's smiling I can feel his heart beating at a hundred miles an hour through his chest. Jake is nervous and he's making me even more so. The tension radiating from him is alarming. Even locking eyes is starting to fail, as his inner emotions start to get the better of him, and suddenly I don't want to let him fall apart. I want to calm him down, so he can do this for us.
"I love you." I smile at him and lay my head against his chest trying to soothe him without giving the game away. Hoping that I radiate some needed reassurance that I'm here with him, that I'm not running, and that there is no doubt about my answer. I always knew what my answer would be, from the moment I figured this out. It was never about saying no to him because I know I never would.
"I love you, baby... maybe too much." He smiles at me, and this time as I tilt my face back up to him, I can see it's genuine. I notice a small squaring of his jaw reminding me that he's still coiled up like a spring about to erupt.
I catch sight of the outer patio doors in the grand room being opened by waiting staff and lift my head to look, slightly confused. It's not an overly warm night and it's not nearly warm enough to open every door wide this way.
Jake takes a loud breath slowly, so close to my ear, and I face back up at him, questioningly. He blows it out over the top of my head and avoids my gaze. His body is hitting an all-time tension high and my heart starts hammering again knowing that it's close.
Breathe... Don't freak out.
His eyes are focused on the orchestra and he's so tense he's almost rigid. Our dancing has slowed to a partial halt and the couples around us seem to be moving away as though they've been given some signal that they should do so. I'm not sure that I like the fact we seem to be in the center of the room with a widening gap happening all around us, so very public, among a sea of faces. I just need to keep reminding myself of whose strong arms are around me, that he will always keep me safe. I stare up at that handsome face to ground myself once more.
Jake has a silent trance-like look on his face, the same one as the day we found out I was pregnant and suddenly I don't feel so brave anymore. Even in his arms I'm submerged in the icy coldness of fear engulfing me. He's not with me right now, his head elsewhere and I'm left adrift.
Looking around in a panic I realize people are staring this way, terror is rising inside of me, and hysteria grips hold until it's like I'm almost choking. My body starts to tense with the first signs of an all-out panic attack. I'm starting to freak out, the tension starting in my toes, sliding up my body slowly, in a horrible sickening cold wave that I know is going to black out my mind and devour me. My feet making ready to run far, far, away from something terrifying and I have no control of it.
And then I hear it.
The beautiful words of the singer floating our way across the crowded room. The words that will be ingrained on my brain for a lifetime. It completely stills me, like a calming balm, and somehow, he's already figured out the one thing that would halt my fear, focusing me back to him. His arms come around me gently and with one hand he pulls my chin to face him. I can feel him begin to calm too as our eyes meet once more and he mouths along with the song, swaying me gently to dance once more with me in his embrace.
"Say you love me..."
The woman sings out the song that makes my heart break wide open and, in this moment, I forget about everything else. Every person, every terrifying feeling and anything that isn't him. Emotions flood me and pushes every single fear away, my stomach aching and my heart fills with love.
It's this song, the one that started it all between us, the real relationship, and the beginning of feeling his love for me. The one he sent me across a crowded dance floor in an opulent setting, much like this one, and I suddenly get it.
He's re-enacting that dance floor, wiping out the memory of me running from him, and he's using the same song to ask me the same thing only this time he wants to know if I'll be his forever. He's offering me himself the way he did that night, a chance to clear everything that has happened between us since that dance and start again. To forget about her and hurting me and everything else. To let him love me the way he promised he would.
Jake you're killing me with your ability to sweep me off my feet
right now.
I gaze up at him with complete adoration. Tears filling my eyes while my soul is aching, watching him sing to me with that beautiful husky rock star voice. It seems like hours lost in those green eyes and that face, dampness hitting my skin as he brushes my cheek with his thumb and moves me slightly in his arms. He moves further away again, holding me at arm's length but never breaking eye contact and slides down to one knee mid-song.
I catch the sob in my throat as it hits me deep in my chest and I hold onto his shoulder when the urge to crumble overtakes me, almost turning my body to mush. I steady myself, focusing on the way he's looking at me so intensely. Those emerald eyes which hold me so readily in their strong gaze, grounding me in the way only he can, despite everything around us, bringing my focus to what is happening between us.
I forget about everyone, the faces; the sea of people; even the noise, and I see only him. Always ... only him.
The sounds of fireworks echoing from outside set of a chorus of 'oohs and aahs' from other diners, but I don't turn to look. I'm caught with him in his gaze, he has me captured, and I'm completely mesmerized. All fear and panic and doubt fluttering away on the breeze as though it was never there, locked together, just the two of us. So, when he opens a box, containing the most beautiful delicate ring I've ever seen in my life, my hand flies to my mouth and I let the tears fall freely. No longer ashamed at people seeing my vulnerability or emotions.
"Marry me, Emma? Make me the luckiest guy that ever lived. I'm yours. Always yours and I'll spend a lifetime worshiping and cherishing every single part of you, bambino ... You're my heart, baby." Jake holds the box out toward me. His hands trembling, his gaze is focused on my face as I take deep calming breaths so I can find my voice. Completely overwhelmed with emotion and love for him, with the perfection of what he has done for me.
This cocky CEO who infiltrated my heart every second of every day since the moment I laid eyes on him and here he is, kneeling in front of me in front of everyone in the world who matters to the both of us, asking me to trust him. Giving himself to me fully, not caring about being on his knees before a woman, and wholeheartedly letting me take the lead. Hanging up his Casanova crown rather spectacularly. "Yes, Jake. Yes!" I cry silently and my hand shakes as he slides that cool piece of metal and sparkle onto my finger. He is every bit as overwhelmed as me and the happiness all over his face is radiant. I'm swept up in the arms of the strongest, sexiest man I have ever met and when his mouth comes crushing to mine in a toe-curling assault of love I know I am completely and hopelessly lost to him for an eternity.☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐