SWNOVELS Chapter 112
The doubts I had about Jake in the past are dispersed with the strength of the look he's giving me. His pain and heartbreak mirrored in mine, that same longing to have me as I have wanted him.
I think Jake loves me!
My world spins, the realization that everything I've felt, everything I've been so afraid of is right here in his green depths, staring back at me without hesitation.
"Come with me?" he whispers, even though the room is noisy, I hear him loud and clear and nod. His gaze is focused so intently on me, flicking from my eyes to my mouth. His face flickering as he concentrates on my lips as though he's experiencing internal pain. He kisses me again, lightly, sending flutters through me, tingles to every cell. A sweet kiss, not one of passion and misunderstanding but a 'You're mine and I can't believe get to touch you this way' kiss.
He lets go of my face and grabs my hand, interlocking our fingers possessively as he pulls me in the direction of the grand exit. I can't stop myself devouring him with my eyes, my heart's in a frenzy and my blood rushes through my entire body so I can only hear the same words inside my head.
I love him so much it hurts.
A pain so severe I think I may fall right here, my heart giving out under the pressure. His tall, strong body guides me, pulling me out of the room with my spiraling crazy thoughts.
Is this really happening?
My heart's soaring, my chest heavy with uncertainty yet beating fast with anticipation. Someone stops us, I vaguely remember them, business acquaintances, someone important. That irritated wave of disappointment and impatience hits me hard and I stop abruptly as he does.
No, no, no. We have things to work out, things to say. Go away!
He pauses, throwing me an unreadable look, then shakes hands with the suit before him. He tightens his grip on me as though he's afraid I'll run away or leave him. He pulls me into his side, his muscles tense and he tucks my arm under his possessively. He's making it clear that he's aware of me, wanting me to know I'm not far from his mind. Another man intervenes, and Jake gets impatient, he tugs me forward and slides an arm around my waist. Pulling me against his body so my head leans into his shoulder and chest, turning to plant a kiss on my temple. The excitement rises inside, threatening to unravel me as I wait, so hard to stay still and not scream in frustration. Finally, he makes an excuse and moves fast, jerking me with him, then glances down at me as I stumble, pausing to right me on my feet. I can barely function. "I'm sorry... I just need to get you out of here quickly... I need us to be alone. To talk." He rushes his words in a very un-Jake-like manner, his voice is so husky, my inner body almost explodes. He scans around the main hall and seems annoyed, hauling me with him, he heads for a door concealed behind the sweeping staircase. I can barely match his steps with my flowing dress and high shoes. I lift the hem of my skirt to stop myself tripping and catch his eyes on me, a look of sheer lust and longing which makes my stomach tighten.
This is happening!
Checking around he opens the door into a dim abandoned hall and pulls me inside, closing it behind us firmly. He turns me, so I'm pushed against the wall in front of him, sweeping back to me, capturing my mouth, without hesitation, his palms splayed on the wall at each side of my head. This kiss out does the first. Every single longing and insatiable ache being poured into this meeting of our lips and I crumble under the force. His arms come around me, pinning me to him with my back against the wall, breathing heavily. He's just as lost as I am as I slide my fingers around his neck, holding on for dear life, crushing one another with a vehemence so powerful it's terrifying. After a moment he pulls away, leaning against me, our bodies heaving with desire, forehead to forehead, breathing each other in with eyes locked. A flutter of apprehension followed by a frown and it causes my voice to stifle in my throat and mute my words.
Is he regretting this already? Maybe I was wrong about how he feels. About what I saw in his eyes.
"I'm waiting on it, Emma." His voice is low and pained, he seems upset, suddenly so different and my stomach drops. Fear gripping me that he's about to abandon me again and kill what's left of my heart "On what?" I sound meek, scared, and confused by his expression and this quick change in him.
Not again, Jake. Don't leave me again. Please.
"The door to hit me in the face again... Another reason you think we shouldn't be together," he says sardonically and it's only now I notice the flicker of fear in his eye too.
How many times have I done that to him? How long was he waiting for me to let him in?
I shake my head, lifting my fingers to trace his lips softly, the chiseled curve of the perfect mouth. He makes me ache for his kiss again. He catches my hand with his, pressing my palm to his mouth and kisses it lightly, closing his eyes at the touch as a smile tugs my lips.
"I'm not going to do that... Jake. I won't push you away again." I breathe softly. The agony of time apart has chased my fears into the darkest recesses of my mind, nothing can hurt as much as not having Jake in my life. I lost all the things that mattered to me. In the end, I realized he was the only thing I had that was worth losing in the first place. His pupils dilate at my words, sending a surge of power through me. Jake's here with me ... For once we're on the same page and I know by looking at him that we want the same thing.
"I love you... I think I've been in love with you for a very long time ..." He smiles shyly, unaware of the devastating effect those little words and that smile have on my soul. My heart constricts in joy, my tears falling with happiness and I become a mess of emotions melting in his arms instantly.
"I ... I..." I can't get the words out and fall to pieces in a flood of sobs. I've been waiting so long to have him feel this way about me. It's all too much and the dam breaks. He wraps himself around me, burying his face in my hair, his strength and power, holding me where I need to be. I could lose myself completely to him and know I'd always be safe, held like this.
"Don't cry, bambino... Please, Emma... I didn't think telling you I loved you would cause this." He sounds ravaged, his voice torn with emotion too while I cling to him as though I'm adrift in the sea and he's my lifeline. "Say something..."
"I... love ... you." I sniff and sob incoherently, feeling his body relax. He pulls my face from his chest, lifting my chin, kissing me softly on the mouth. Savoring the touch, so gentle and perfect that it sets me off again. Like an erratic overemotional woman on her period, I literally burst into tears, just shy of wailing like a cat.
"Jesus, Emma... If I'd known this was how it would be, I would've brought some tissues and a lot of chocolate." He grins at me, fingers tangling themselves in my hair and I giggle through my tears, leaning against him again. He can always make me laugh, despite everything, despite the sheer deep emotion of what we're doing, what we're saying. Here we are, smiling.
"They're happy tears." I sniff back the waves of emotion, trying to regain some composure. Digging in my purse for tissues and finding nothing to stop the rivulets of mascara pouring down my cheeks. "Should I be crying too then?" He smiles, wiping my cheek with his thumb, doing his best to dry my face by using his jacket sleeve to dab the worst away. He's caging me against the wall with one of his arms, lowering his face to stay close to me.
"I don't think I want to see you cry." I smile up at him feebly through watery eyes, experiencing a rush of warmth as he delivers another soft kiss to my mouth. I could let him do this for an eternity and never tire of it.
"Good. I'm not much of a crier and you're doing a grand enough job for the both of us ... I'm happy, though, you have no idea. I never thought we'd get here. I didn't think this was how you felt about me." He rests his brow against mine, tracing my face with his fingers, breathing so closely. This time I lean up and kiss him, feeling brave enough to do it, in the knowledge that he loves me. It ignites into a more passionate kiss with his hand sliding behind my neck and his tongue searching out the warmth of my mouth. We both groan and sag against each other. Sexual tension igniting with rage and he pulls away, sucking my lower lip slowly and gently. Both of us lock on one another through heavy lids, seeped in lust.
"If we keep doing this then I can promise you I won't be a gentleman for much longer." He warns with the softest voice, his eyes glued to my lips. I'm fascinated by the way his mouth looks so right nestled among designer stubble and that chiseled jaw line. Slightly blushed from kissing.☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐