SWNOVELS Chapter 137
Alexi starts pushing into me, quick hard thrusts once he knows my body has accommodated to fit him, and he doesn’t hold back.
He fucks me hard, uncontrolled passion as he pushes his weight down on me and finds my wrist with his own hand, pushing one
arm over my head and holding me taut, so he can control how deep he hits my core. I claw at his shoulder and cling to him with
my free arm, trying to get him as bodily close as I can. I want to taste every inch of him as I lick at his throat, his jawline and
capture his lips for another scorching make-out session. I bite on his lip harshly, holding on for dear life and moaning as he
screws me with a force that has us both panting and gasping for breath. His bed squeaking and creaking under the effort and I
swear it might collapse.
It’s not slow or even adventurous by any means. It’s more of a burning need to quickly be consumed, and as he impales me
harder, bodies getting clammy with exertion and grunts and groans start overtaking the air. My legs are wrapped around his waist
as he pounds me into complete submission, amid pants and pleasure squeals.
I start coming undone equally fast. Missionary position, at it like horny teens who are trying to annihilate one another with brute
forced sex, but it has to be one of the best moments I have ever had in my life. He is hitting the very best spot inside of me over
and over and I can feel the warmth of my body soaking him with the evidence.
Alexi grabs my free flailing hand when I try to hold onto something as waves overtake me, sliding his palms to both of mine and
interlacing our fingers as he pins my hands on the bed on either side of my head. Pushing and thrusting and climbing with me as
he lifts himself up, so we are nose to nose.
‘Cum for me baby. I want you to take me with you.’ He breathes in my face, pulling my eyes to his as we lock on and the gaze
intensifies how good it feels. Having those soulless grey eyes almost overcome with pupils in the darkness of his room,
something sizzling between us as I pant and try to stay with him. I don’t want to look away. I love his eyes, I always have, and
right now, they are the doorway to heaven as he makes me climb higher.
He continues to push me to that high goal of an explosion, not slowing his thrusts or the force of how hard he’s hitting me inside.
It’s beyond crazy good and I swear I may never walk again after this, but it will be so fucking worth it. Alexi is an actual porn star
in the making, and I have never known sex could be this amazing.
I arch, my body meeting his off the bed and crumble in a scream of ecstasy as everything inside of me combusts in one
showering star-strewn moment of an explosive orgasm. It comes so fast I don’t have much of a build-up, and as much as he tries
to keep my face to his, he has to let me go as my limbs spasm and my body convulses around him.
He doesn’t stop, pushing through it so that it drags out and lingers, bringing my pleasure past the point of human capability, and
all I can do is cry out and scream his name as my body soaks around him satisfyingly. He finds his release in my exaggerated
climax, gripping my hands tighter so there is a second of brutal crushing of my little digits, and shudders along with me. Finding
his own orgasm inside of me and igniting a tiny trail of ongoing convulsions between my thighs and up my lower abdomen to
fade out the most mind-blowing thing that has ever happened to me. That was a fifteen plus on the orgasm scale by any
standards.
The last waves of heavy breathing and panting as he slows to a complete stop, before collapsing on top of me and stills us
finally. A clammy pair of bodies in a heap, glistening in the dull light, still intertwined and connected as he catches his breath.
It was fast ... hard ... sexy as hell, and right now my body is tingling from my toes to my scalp in the aftereffects of almost being
torn in two in the best way. My inner thighs are drenched with the evidence of combined pleasure as he slides out of me gently. I
know I should get up and clean myself up before we soil his black bed sheets, yet I literally cannot move. My entire body dies a
death from utter sedation from being so completely satisfied. My legs shaking with it.
Alexi is panting as he lets me go and rolls off me to slump on the bed beside me ... both breathing like we have run a marathon,
facing the ceiling in the darkness as we lie apart and try to regulate our breathing and body heat. I am sweating like a pig, way
too hot even though I am lying naked and my body is zinging all over. There’s isn’t a part of me that is not singing from his
attentions.
‘Holy shit.’ It’s all he mutters in a very satisfied sexy and husky tone before he leans in, kisses me on the temple quickly and then
gets up to slide off the bed, before heading to his bathroom and shuts the door. I guess he has the sense to get cleaned up,
seeing as there must be a hell of a lot if how it felt was anything to go by.
I take a moment to bask in the carefree moments of sated completion. My body feels whole and my mind and heart are still and
content. First time that’s ever happened in my lifetime. My sexual cravings of the last months finally met; my heart and body
playing a crescendo in the aftermath.
Just for a moment. A little carefree, no reality check just yet, second of my calm and guilt free mind.
One tiny pause of happiness.
Before the darkness of a heavy and painful realisation hits me hard like a swift kick in the face, and sense, no longer lust
drugged, comes around to shake me harder than hard. I swallow and focus my eyes on the roof over me as my heart plummets
and nausea begins to swirl at the realisation of what I have just done.
I let Alexi fuck me ... again.
I brought sex to the table, in a relationship that only knows destruction at its hands.
What have I done?
After everything he did, and everything I swore I would never let him do again. I crossed that line to sex and I just opened the
door to his ability to fuck me up all over again. It hits me like a sucker punch in the stomach as my entire happy mood and tingles
give way to crushing self-doubt and the heavy weight of complete panic once more.
Didn’t I learn anything?
Didn’t I tell myself that when it came to sex he changes and turns on me like a caged beast?
I have been down this road before! When I stupidly thought it wouldn’t change anything and it changed EVERYTHING.
My heart is no longer slowing from exertion, but pounding and hammering in my chest as fear and the realisation that he will
destroy me all over again hits me hard. It’s what he does. Only this time I’m not strong enough. I won’t be able to take it twice ...
this time I can’t.
If I thought I loved him before then it’s a pale comparison to how I feel about him now. It’s nothing like last time; it’s more all-
consuming and much deeper than I ever thought it could go. He’s fed it somehow; nurtured and made it grow, all while I was
telling myself I didn’t care about him. He’s swept me off the rug once more and manipulated and manoeuvred me into a place
where he can ruin me all over again. And I walked right into it. Like a complete amateur.
I can’t stay here with him.
Terror grips my throat, catapulting my mind and body in synchronised escape mode and I sit up with the real fear of what I just
started. It hits me at full pelt, my body weakening as sweat creeps down my spine and I look to his bathroom door nervously. The
only bright light in the room is coming from the gap under the door, and I climb off the bed nervously and run for the lounge.
I leave my underwear behind, find my dress on the floor where he left it and pull it over my head in a hurry. Mind in chaos as my
throat dries out and tears sting at my eyes. Heart catapulted into my stomach and I’m only focused on one thing—running!
If I leave he can’t hurt me again. Get out of his reach ... out of his grasp ... out of his city this time. Go further than he will ever
find me.
I can’t and won’t let him mess with my head all over again.
My bracelet catches in my hair as I drag it out of my neckline and I gawp at it in horror, pulling it open instinctively and throw it on
the table as though it has burned me. A symbol of his tools and weapons to get into my heart, and I was stupid not to see it.
He wooed me this time, didn’t force his control on me. He was clever, pulled me close and let me fall all over again.
I need to break ties with him ... now, fast. Before it starts and I’m too weak to run.
He gets inside my mind and I become a willing prisoner so easily. I have no defences once I know he’s inside of me and now he
has all the upper hand. Sex showed him that I still want and need him. It’s all he needed from me.
I drag myself to my room, grabbing shoes and my bag in blind-eyed desperation, furiously trying to gather my wits as I clutch my
things to my chest and head back out as quickly as I can. I start running for the apartment door, refusing to look back or take
anything else. I just need to go and get far away from him, to safety. I can start from scratch again, it doesn’t matter.
He can have his club back. He can take everything as long as I get to go and get to stay sane.
My heart is almost bursting through my chest as my body flushes with cold fear and I yank at the door to get out.
‘Cam? What are you doing?’ His voice hits me like a freight train, and I turn like a deer caught in the headlights to see him
standing at his bedroom door in a pair of boxers, looking at me with an expression that screams complete confusion. He just
looks wounded and stiff and the question in his face breaks me completely. Abhorred that I should have a completely guilty
reaction, thinking I might hurt him.
That’s how screwed up he has made me.
I start to cry properly, not sure why, but it’s what hits me first as I tremble visibly in front of him; All my scars on show.
‘I have to go ... this was a mistake,’ I blurt out, voice strained and all over the place, gasping for air and he just frowns at me
more deeply.
‘What are you talking about? Why do you have to go?’ It’s not exactly the unemotional deadpan that I am expecting, it’s more
that of a hurt child and I know it’s starting already; getting inside my head, working on me to knock me down.
‘We don’t work ... you and I ... this is how it starts. Sex ruins everything and I can’t do it again. I won’t survive you a second
time.’ My hands are shaking as I cling to my shoes and force them against myself so harshly, they start to bruise and hurt my
breasts. Gripping so my knuckles turn white and I can’t keep my eyes on his. Boring into me intensely and I start to falter, my
body turning weak as I get dizzy.
Alexi’s face crumbles, and he loses all hints of Carrero confidence, leaving the look of someone I have never seen before; A face
that seems to show hints of real emotional turmoil and pain. Real upset.—A play at acting like he cares.
‘It’s not like that this time. Just give me a chance to explain.’ He sounds as broken as me and I try to shake it away. I know it’s a
lie, an act, a game to him, but yet, my heart breaks in two and I weep pathetically, showing him all my vulnerabilities and playing
right into his hands.
Stupid, stupid girl. I am falling into the rabbit’s hole once more, and he will chew me up and spit me out.
‘Don’t! This is what you do!’ I whimper back at him, clawing at my hair near my temple, prodding myself in the head with a finger
manically, looking crazy, messed up on so many levels. I’m scared of him for what he has the potential to do to me. That silver
tongue and insane ability he possesses to overpower my soul.
‘You get inside my head and fuck me up ... you make me think one thing and then rip me apart with another. You push me to
desperate levels where the only option I see to get out is a bad one.’ I clutch at my hair and make grabbing motions over the side
of my head, like I am trying to pull out my own brain as I try to reel in the control. Eyes blurry with the tears falling down my face
and I can feel my knees giving way under my own weight. Body powerless and at breaking point. It won’t take much for him to
strike me down again; so effortless to break me a second time.
Alexi makes a move towards me, shaking his head solemnly, but I jump back, clutching my bag and shoes harder against me, so
they start to really hurt me a lot with the pressure I am forcing them against me with, a sign of my sheer petrified state.
I’m terrified of him.
He can hurt me in ways no one ever could and this time ... I invited it.
Idiot Camilla. Stupid, fucking idiot.