The Call Of Thalassa

“Of all the words of mice and men,

the saddest are,

‘It might have been’.”

-Kurt Vonnegut

It’s a strange feeling –to be in a place full of ghostly memories. To stand in a room and recognize every corner. You are familiar with it –it used to be your safe haven. Your home. Images dance through your eyes, reminding you of a reality that used to be and now, it is lost forever. Of people that used to occupy these halls, offering you small smiles and glances full of admiration.

You have many memories in these walls –filled with both immeasurable happiness and sadness. You remember everything –the sound of laughter, the gentle patting on the back, the tight hugs, and the loving advice. The gatherings in the great hall as melodious music filled it. The way everything glittered golden under the morning’s soft rays. Your father’s proud gaze. Your mother’s gentle words. Your brother’s support and silly jokes.

And yet, things changed, shattering your heart in the process. Things used to be simpler back when you were still innocent -full of dreams and ambitions. Growing up made you realize how harsh this world is -your fall to reality was painful, to say the least. Your smile became cold, your eyes told the truth your mouth refused to acknowledge. You were...left out –you didn’t matter as much as your brother did. The brother you loved dearly –the one you would die for, he just let you go. Fate had set different paths for you and where he was meant to go, you couldn’t follow.

You loved him greatly –you didn’t want to be separated from him. He made you feel safe –he was your partner in crime. He knew you better than you knew your own self. He read your emotions like a book, comforting you, and being there for you when you needed him the most. It hurt you deeply –it felt like a knife in your heart to see him put distance between you. You understood his reasons. Still, that didn’t make it any better.

Then, the whispers began –the comparisons of a rising King to his ordinary brother. The comments were cruel; they brought tears to your eyes. You couldn’t understand them. Why were they comparing you? Why did they hate you? What have you done wrong? You had spent hours in your chambers, preferring the echoing silence and unbearable isolation rather than the criticizing glances and judgmental words. Your tears dropped as the sobs clogged your neck. Yet, nobody was there to see them. Nobody was there to notice.

The distance grew –the chasm became bigger. He had other responsibilities –a city to take care of, a kingdom to rule. He couldn’t spend time with you –he didn’t have much time to spare anyway. You didn’t hold any grudge against him, you understood. You were proud of him, of the man he became. And yet, the tightness in your chest wouldn’t go away. The feeling that you tried to deny was more prominent than ever. You didn’t want to accept it –you didn’t want to let yourself acknowledge it. Yet, your mind whispered it, filling your thoughts with darkness.

...He betrayed you...

...He gave up on you...

...You weren’t important...

...You weren’t enough to keep him by your side...

You clenched your jaw. Your hands turned into tight fists until your knuckles turned white. You knew he would need you –he would need someone he could trust. Who else would that be rather than his own brother? He let you down, but you still got his back. No matter how much his distance hurt you, he was still your brother. No matter how much you wanted to scream at him and cry, you loved him dearly. You started pushing yourself to your limits –training to become excellent in the art of war. You would become your King’s most loyal general –one that his enemies would tremble at the mere sight.

And you brilliantly achieved that –you became a force to be reckoned with. And you were proud of your success -you were content that you were good at something. And yet, not many were impressed. The whispers never ceased. The comments were only fueled. You still weren’t good enough. No matter how much effort and time you spent trying to gain their acceptance. No matter how much you supported your King. No matter how many times you defended your city. Nothing appeased them. Because in their eyes, you would never be good enough.

Anger –blazing hot anger reigned over your whole being. You didn’t know what else to do. You didn’t know what was wrong with you. Why did they hate you so much? You withdrew yourself, spending more and more time alone. You didn’t like it. The loneliness was eating you away, making your heart break even more. You hid in the shadows watching them from a distance -they were happy. They were so carefree -they were laughing so loudly. You couldn’t stand it. You never had a reason to laugh like that. You didn’t have a place among them.

Did they not see your suffering?

Perhaps, they didn’t care enough.

It made your blood boil. It pushed you to try harder and harder, only for them to react the same. You run away –finding peace in empty fields, away from prying eyes. You shouted unspeakable curses. You screamed the unfairness done to you until your neck was hurting. You growled in anger. You hissed in helplessness. You sobbed in hopelessness.

When would this torture end?

Why would nobody love you? Why could nobody be proud of you? Why did nobody want to be around you –what have you ever done to them? Had you done anything to offend them? Could you apologize? Were you meant for a life of loneliness and suffering?

They loved your brother. They showed it whenever the chance was given. They bowed respectfully whenever he entered a room. They were glancing at him with eyes full of admiration. They were hanging from his lips, waiting patiently to hear every word he would say. Your brother was a King –Atlantis’ future. You were just another prince -nothing special. It wouldn’t be hard for them to forget you.

You felt...useless. You had no purpose in your life. Your family ignored you –they had other matters to attend. It’s okay. You have learned to keep a straight face, even when your heart is breaking. You straightened your back, not even glancing at the people surrounding you. You had no friends –you didn’t need any fake ones. People didn’t like you –they just wanted to find more things to comment about you. You held your cold mask on –your shield to their hurtful actions.

You didn’t know how much longer you could go on.

How much longer until you give up?

How much longer till you completely break?

Your soul knew as well as your heart that you couldn’t go on for too long.

And then, there she was –your personal miracle. You hadn’t expected that your prayers would be answered. You were convinced that you would never find peace, no matter how much you craved for it. She brought such joy and warmth in your life, making you feel safe and alive again. The comments, the people, the King –nobody mattered. Only her.

Sethelious clenched his fists at the memory of her. Of the woman he fell madly in love with –the one that still held his heart. He was seated on the throne of Atlantis, wearing the crown that was meant for his brother. The room was completely destroyed –he had tarnished it long ago. The only thing remaining was the eerily silence and deep darkness as the new King sat alone.

Yet, he couldn’t forget her. He could still see her, swimming elegantly through this very room. He could still feel the softness of her strands as he ran his fingers through them. Hear the sound of her giggles as they chased one another. Admire the way her blue eyes sparkled in joy. He could still feel her smooth skin under his rough fingertips.

She was it for him.

There was no one else.

There could never be anyone else.

When he found his mate, his sanity snapped. He couldn’t accept the fact that Aziza wasn’t his destined one. He couldn’t imagine a life without her by his side. How was he supposed to love a woman, when another held his heart? And how was he to accept that she wasn’t his? That she would love another? That she would lay with someone that wasn’t him? That he wouldn’t be the father of her children?

He didn’t know when he killed the poor girl. His thoughts were filled with so much darkness, he didn’t have any conscience of his actions. He could still remember her haunting eyes widening in shock –her amber orbs holding a look of betrayal. He could still smell the scent of her blood as she drew her last breath. He could still feel his heart shattering into millions of pieces as the girl he was destined for died in his arms.

No, she didn’t die.

He killed her.

He murdered her in cold blood, no matter how much he denied it. He had ripped her heart out, watching as the light faded from her eyes. His whole body was shaking in refusal –his eyes wild as he stared at the dying girl in front of him. He didn’t even know her name –he never found out. Yet, the pain of her loss accompanied him through all his life, making him succumb to his madness.

Sometimes he wondered how would a future by her side be? How would things turn out? Would he be happier? Perhaps, he would have a family right now –a loving mate and a bunch of kids. He always wanted a team of them. Was he a fool in love? Had he sacrificed everything for a love that was never meant to be? He refused to accept that. Thalassa may have chosen her as his mate, but his heart had chosen another.

The mission had left him hopeless –with a shattered heart and a mind full of insecurity. He had done as his brother had commanded –it was time for him to return back home. He couldn’t wait to see her again, wrap his arms around her petite form, and never let her go. He wanted to hear her soothing voice whispering sweet nothings in his ears as she caressed his dark locks until he fell asleep.

He certainly didn’t expect to find her in his brother’s embrace. His heart stopped when he leaned down and kissed her lips. He could still remember his ear’s ringing and his breathing stop at the sight of them. But what broke him, even more, was the gaze she gave him after –one of utter love and devotion. One that was meant for him. But no matter how long they had been close, she had never looked at him like that. Because simply, she never loved him as much as he did her.

He had never felt so betrayed- so vulnerable and desperate. He felt cheated on –that his own brother had taken a knife and plunged it deep into his chest, laughing down at him as he let his last breath. He had sacrificed so many things for him -he had tolerated everything that was thrown his way. And yet, he had reached his breaking point -he wouldn’t accept that. Sethelious loved her so deeply; he couldn’t bear the thought of spending a lifetime with someone else, even if they were meant for him. And there she was –the love of his life, in the arms of his own brother.

That’s when his last thread of sanity snapped.

He had taken the throne of Atlantis.

He had taken the admiration of their parents.

He had taken the devotion of their people.

And now, he had taken the love of his life.

He didn’t care anymore. Revenge was the only thing he could think of. He wanted to hurt his brother –he wanted to make him feel the despair he was forced to feel his whole life. He didn’t care that he was betraying him –that he was endangering the city he grew up with. He wanted to destroy their happiness as they had destroyed his. And he achieved it greatly –he was currently sitting on a throne that did not belong to him. He had killed those who wronged him –he could still hear their screams. They were like music to his ears -a form of salvation. He had broken the chains they had put upon him -their values, their laws, their beliefs, their remarks. He had finally escaped from their mental prison, destroying any ties connecting him to them.

He was finally free.

And nobody could stop him.

He played by his own rules.

He had murdered his own brother –the one he once loved so much, the one he would die for. The person that meant so much to him–his closest friend. The King he had sworn loyalty to –the one he was supposed to protect. Sethelious had driven his trident in his chest, watching as Neptune smiled –yes, fucking smiled at him! The name of the woman they both loved fell from his lips. He was beyond furious –his body trembling in wrath at his brother’s last words. How dare he? How fucking dare he? Killing him didn’t bring him the satisfaction he expected –he wanted to bring him back from the dead, just to kill him again!

If anyone asked him, he would tell them the truth; he didn’t regret it. He didn’t regret murdering his own brother. His actions had hurt him more than anything. His behavior had destroyed his life. Neptune had distinguished any chances he could ever have in happiness. He had snatched the small flicker of light that had appeared in his life, taking it for himself.

He didn’t regret killing his beloved either. Her death shattered his already damaged heart, taking with her any emotion of kindness and compassion he ever had. He became a beast -emotionless, unfeeling, uncaring. But powerful -oh, so powerful. He preferred to have her memory unspoiled -to remember her as the girl he loved and died tragically. He couldn’t bear to imagine her by his brother’s side -smiling at him, loving him, carrying his children.

No, he didn’t regret killing her -no matter how much it hurt him.

The only thing he regretted was not following after her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

End of chapter 46!!

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