The Broken and the Dead

Whispered voices woke me before the sun rose. I rubbed my eyes and sat up, my back sore from sleeping in a chair all night. I stood and walked into the kitchen but to my surprise there was only one person in there; Mrs. Franks smiled at me as I walked in and we exchanged good mornings. She asked if I would like some cereal and that it would be no problem since she and Mr. Franks were about to have some, she waved her hand at two empty bowls set on the table. I said that I might have some a bit later and she insisted that I sit down and have some breakfast tea with her and Steve. I found that my feet were made of clay as she continued her conversation with no one.

“I think we should go into town, do some shopping we are definitely running short on some things” she said to the empty place setting.

She laughed as if he had said something funny and I realized that I needed to get some help for her.

“You know Johnny, we were thinking of going to Europe and buying a couple of those unlimited rail passes. Doing the grand tour so to speak.” she said as she sipped her tea.

“Mrs. Franks, if you will excuse me I need to use the restroom.” I said.

“Of course, of course” she said and she waved her hand in the direction of the bathrooms.

I left the room and rushed upstairs to find Mrs. Driscol, I looked in her room but it was empty, I checked our room and found Elaine and Lucy sound asleep. I went towards Janey’s room and knocked softly. She answered it the knock sleepily “come in.” I opened the door and saw that she was wrapped in blankets and she peeked out at me in a very cute way.

“Hey Johnny, sup?” she asked.

“Janey, something is wrong with Mrs. Franks. Please come quick.” I said.

She sat up in bed and put on a sweater pulling it tightly around her.

“What do you mean something is wrong with her?”

I told her what had happened downstairs and she looked very concerned. We hurried down the hall and then descended the stairs. I followed her into the kitchen and there were two empty bowls and two empty cups. Mrs. Franks was gone.

Janey called out loudly for her and we started to search the lodge, back upstairs we went. Everyone came out of their rooms and we hurriedly explained what had happened. The door to the roof top slammed open and Old Man Tucker hurried into the hall,

“Mrs. Franks just walked off into the woods.” he said.

We rushed down the stairs. Kyle and I were the quickest out the back door the others following along.

“Mrs. Franks!” we called.

We looked around, I didn’t see her but OMT finally caught up and he pointed up the hill,

“That way!” he called.

We ran towards the hill and Kyle looked over at me and said

“She’s pretty quick for an old lady.”

I agreed. When we got to the top of the hill Rico had caught up with us, the slope was gentle and we could see her about a hundred yards away, happily talking to herself, her arms swinging as if she were holding an invisible hand. It didn’t take us long and we reached her,

“Boys? What are you doing out here? Want to go to town with us?”

Rico smiled and said “Ma’am, we were thinking that we might take one of the cars, it’s kind of a long walk ain’t it?”

She looked over to no one and said

“What do you think honey?”

She then turned to us with a smile on his face and said

“Alrighty boys, you heard him, off to the cars!”

We started back up the hill and the rest of the group was waiting for us at the crest of the hill. The whole group escorted us back to the lodge while she went on and on about what she and her husband wanted to do in town.

What nobody paid attention to at the time was the behavior of Mrs. Livingston, she was gazing into the woods. Deep into the woods where OMT had hidden the cars.

“Come along dear.”

Her husband said to her as he took her arm and together they walked back towards the lodge. She kept glancing back over her shoulder at the woods but when her husband asked her if something was wrong she just shook her head no.

It was Mrs. Driscol, Janey, Karen, and strangely enough Rico who tended to Mrs. Franks. As the day wore on and most of us were involved with unloading the horse trailer, storing our finds and updating the master inventory. They had first row tickets to Mrs. Franks’ descent into madness. Her reality was so complex that she invented all sorts of details such as how Karen was her niece and was engaged to the handsome Rico. The fact that she was only 13 and he was 26 and that they had only known each other for three days seemed irrelevant. Janey was her maid, which I could tell was a source of hilarity for Mrs. Driscol albeit not so much for Janey. Mrs. Franks had long conversations with her dead husband and on two occasions berated his ghost for flirting with the maid. As little as I had felt for Mr. Franks when he decided to check out, this was growing harder and harder to watch. I noticed that Lucy had started to help with the unloading but she would not make eye contact with crazy Old Man Tucker.

At nearly two the horse trailer was empty and Mrs. Driscol appeared with Kyle, each carrying two huge platters of sandwiches. Most were fried ’bacon flavored’ SPAM, some were egg salad and all were on toast. We ate them sitting on the porch and front steps, all but Janey who was upstairs with Mrs. Franks who had declared that she and her husband were going to take a nap. As I talked to Karen, who I found out liked a lot of the same things that Billy had; things like Magic the Gathering trading cards and a bunch of Japanese anime that Billy had bored me to death about as he made a valiant but vain attempt to explain to me their complicated story lines. I decided I liked Karen though, she wasn’t Billy but she often was more than happy to just sit and not talk, that I appreciated for two reasons; first I needed the quiet and second I was trying to listen in on the Lt. and OMT as they talked to each other as the Staff Sergeant listening in. I decided I didn’t like Marines, even though the sergeant reminded me of a young Morgan Freeman, one of my favorite actors, it was like they had a club and no one else was good enough to join.

By silent agreement and after everyone finished their sandwiches we all just sat there in the afternoon sun, they spoke to each other quietly, some serious conversations but most were just boring crap like the weather and whether they thought we were the last people on Earth or not. I noticed that Darnell was trying to explain his rifle to Mrs. Driscol who was pretending not to have already fired about a 1000 rounds through one just like it. For some reason this made me angry, although I was happy it wasn’t OMT who was making her smile like that. I thought of Billy and suddenly everything seemed to be closing in on me. I looked over at Karen whose bright eyes were focused on me but her words sounded like the teacher from those Charlie Brown holiday cartoon specials.

I watched as OMT shook Lt. Klein’s hand and he started off towards the lodge and the world came roaring back at me as I realized that Karen Morena was shaking me and was practically screaming my name at me “JOHNNY, JOHNNY!” I looked at her like she was the crazy one and when I did I realized that Mrs. Driscol was kneeling in front of me and her hands were on my shoulders. “What?” I asked in a whispered voice. Peeking over Mrs. Driscol’s shoulder Darnell asked “J-Dude, you alright?” I nodded even though I felt my eyeballs were rolling around in their sockets like marbles in a soda bottle. I felt that everyone was looking at me and I looked around at the serious faces and I saw that Old Man Tucker was on the stairs to the lodge had stopped and was looking at me with more concern than he had the right to have. “I’M FINE.”

Mrs. Driscol pulled me into her and hugged me so tightly that I couldn’t breathe. Before I could catch myself I let out that traditional 12 year old lament that every parent knew; in a sing song voice I begged her to cease her demonstrations by saying “Maahhhhhhmmmm!” I froze, Karen M. froze, Darnell froze, everyone froze and Mrs. Driscol pushed me away to arm’s length. She was staring at me; tears had formed in her eyes and were running down her cheeks. She didn’t say anything but I knew I had broken her heart, she wasn’t my mom, I wasn’t Billy, this was all wrong and I knew deep inside that I had crossed a forbidden line. I tore away from her, I wanted to yell, I wanted to curse, I wanted to cry, but all I could do was run. I dropped my rifle and ran up the stairs past OMT and into the lodge.

Once inside I was a blur up the stairs to the 2nd floor and then again up the stairs to the roof. I burst onto the sun porch and was surprised to see Deputy Weir on guard duty, he was wearing those stupid mirrored sunglasses that cops think make them look tough. He had a scoped, bolt action rifle slung over his shoulder and our best binoculars held in both hands. We stared at each other for a second or two but neither said anything, so I broke off our staring contest and ran over to the teak storage bin on the roof where they kept extra cushions for the deck furniture. I yanked open the door and climbed inside, getting myself arranged on the cushions I then slammed the door shut. I peeked out through the slats and saw that Deputy Weir had turned back to scanning the horizon with the binoculars. I apparently didn’t matter to him; good.

I guess I fell asleep for a bit because when I woke up the cop was gone, in his place was Kyle Morena and his sister, they were sitting on a chair just outside my hiding place. I slowly pushed the door open and she looked up at me with an embarrassed smile and asked

“How are you feeling Johnny?”

I felt like crap, I was dizzy and had a head ache but I said

“I’m fine.”

I climbed out of my hiding place and looked over at her brother who apparently had found something really interesting to look at about 3 miles away. Karen said

“Mrs. Driscol wants to know if you will talk to her.”

I looked at Karen with fury in my eyes and snapped

“NO.”

She winced at my anger but didn’t give up,

“Johnny, she isn’t mad, she cares for you and your sisters. You should talk to her.”

I paced about in a small circle on the raised deck for a moment then reiterated

“NO WAY.” then I added in a quieter voice “I am never going to talk to her again.”

Karen sighed, “Johnny.”

I paused and waited for her to continue but she remained silent so I prompted “What?”

Karen looked away and crossed her arms over her chest before she spoke,

“My parents are dead.”

This was crazy,

“SO? So are mine!” I said angrily.

She shook her head,

“You don’t understand Johnny, we are all alone. All of us. And if I had someone to call mommy, well, I would.”

I heard the grief in her voice. I started to speak but she wasn’t done;

“Mrs. Driscol feels empty, like an old jar with nothing in it. I think she wants you to think of her as your mother, she wants to think of you as her son.”

I wanted to slap Karen and I trembled with rage,

“SHE IS NOT MY MOTHER, MY MOTHER IS DEAD.”

This time Karen rose to my challenge and she stood nose to nose with me,

“You Johnny are an idiot. You have a chance for someone to care for you and you are going to walk away from her. You don’t deserve her.”

Karen spun on her heels and stomped away.

I sat down, my breathing was ragged and I wished things were different. That was when I heard Kyle walking over towards me. I thought he was going to yell but he didn’t, instead he said

“Karen was really close to Mom.”

I sat there and looked at him as if he were from another planet, so he went on.

“Johnny, look around, all we have is each other. Just quit being such a jerk.”

He turned and walked back to his post. Jerk.

I went back inside the building and went to our room. I was surprised to find Mrs. Driscol and Lucy playing cards, SNAP I think. I took a deep breath and walked over next to them, they stopped playing and they both looked up at me. I sighed and took a deep breath and then made my impressive speech;

“Can I play?”

Lucy and Mrs. Driscol both grabbed me and hugged me and to my surprise Mrs. Driscol kissed me over and over and Lucy laughed at that.

“ACK!” I said.

She didn’t let go, finally she sat me in her lap and looking me in the eye said

“Johnny, you have been part of my family for a long time, and I don’t think your Mom would mind if we acted like it.”

I whispered that I was sure that Billy felt the same way and she nodded and for a moment I was afraid she was going to cry again.

“I want you both to know…”

She grabbed Lucy and pulled her next to me on Mrs. Driscol’s lap.

“I want you all to know that from now on, if you call me Mom or Ma or Mommy, that will be okay, it will be our little secret that when you say that, you and I are thinking of my best friend, your mother.”

Lucy stretched and kissed her on the cheek, I know it wasn’t manly or whatever, but I just leaned into her, I decided that I liked being hugged by her and Mrs. Driscol deserved being hugged right back. We actually played four more hands of snap before we left the room and went down stairs. No one said anything to us but they all seemed relieved that we had worked things out. Karen walked up to me and asked if things were cool, I nodded and then said

“Karen, about earlier, on the roof I mean, well, I just mean...”

I paused looking for the right word and then found it;

“Thanks.”

Karen smiled and said

“No problem Johnny.”

It wasn’t long after that when Elaine came into the room and said

“Alrighty, if you all are finished being all huggy, there is ANOTHER meeting that is just about to get started downstairs.” S

He sounded irritated and had emphasized the word ’another’ so as to leave no doubt of her opinion on the subject. Never-the-less we all went dutifully downstairs with Elaine yelling into Mrs. Frank’s room to Janey that she would fill her in if anything interesting came up.

To my surprise it was Lt. Klein that was running the show this time.

“Hello everyone, thank you for putting up with yet another ‘family’ meeting.” she said.

Then she gazed casually around the room but I noticed that she grinned a bit at Elaine.

“Folks, we have been talking...”

She began but I knew she meant ’OMT has been lecturing me....’ instead.

“…and we are concerned about the Zs. They are continuing to evolve, becoming more and more dangerous.”

That was when the good Lt. Klein surprised us all,

“We are suggesting that perhaps it is time that we were a bit more aggressive towards them.”

I sat up, now this had potential.

“They are systematic in their searches, only forming large groups when a significant human force is encountered. We feel we might be able to take advantage of this.”

Everyone started talking at once and she had to bang one of those spikey meat hammers to get everyone to listen.

“Everyone will be given a chance to talk, ok?”

After a moment more she began

“Staff Sergeant Barnes and Mr. Tucker have volunteered to go on an extended scouting mission. We need to know if and when the Zs are going to be coming back through here. They also are going to try and make contact with any military, police or civil defense units that are still functioning.”

I had not noticed Lucy leaving Mrs. Driscol’s side but suddenly she was behind where Old Man Tucker was sitting and reaching up she poured an entire bottle of water on his head. Several people broke into laughter but OMT just sat there, humiliated but unresponsive. Lt. Klein then spoke

“It seems we have one ‘no’ vote on the proposed mission, any other opinions?”

Lucy had left the room immediately after her aquatic-assault and Elaine following her saying that she would go find her and talk to her. Things got more specific after that, what vehicle would they take?

“Not one of the MRAPs.” Darnell insisted.

So the Humvee it was. How much food? How much water? How long would they be gone? Would they try to maintain radio silence like they did before? All of this was boring to me so my mind began to wander as I looked around the room. Everyone seemed open to the suggestion more or less as long as they didn’t take too much of the gear. I saw Mrs. Livingston, her dark black skin in contrast to her silver and white hair. She seemed unsettled and nervous like she was running something over in her mind trying to make sense of it. I think her husband too knew something was wrong but when he snaked his arm across her shoulders she grabbed it by the wrist and tossed it aside as if it were stinky cheese or fish bait or something. Grown-ups are strange.

In the late afternoon, just before dinner time I went out on the porch and watched as OMT, Deputy Weir and SSGT. Barnes strung lengths of barbed fence wire in and out of clusters of trees, they put strands down low then about knee high, and finally chest high. Each line crisscrossed many times with the others it was a huge spider web of barbed wire. Anyone or anything coming through there would pay for it in skin. I saw that the hunting blind was opposite the wire trap and it was a good observation spot for it. I tried to imagine what it would be like running through the woods right into that web of barbed wire then having someone shoot at you while you were trying to get yourself unstuck. Kyle showed up and shook me from my day dream, he was pushing a wheel barrow full of dog eared pickets and each had hundreds of 10 penny nails driven through them. Oh right, Kyle Morena, King of the Poop Sticks. They placed the boards with the nails pointing up in places where someone might step or hide. They covered them with leaves and small twigs pretty soon it was impossible to tell where they were and where they were not. As I watched the four of them finish up and start back to the lodge I realized how clever this set up was, they were not trying to kill the enemy with that stuff or even cause serious injury. What they wanted was a warning and they wanted time; time to shoot and kill the enemy; that idea made me smile.

They spoke to Rico, he had the hood up on the Humvee and was working on it, getting it ready for the mission and they all laughed at whatever Rico said in response. I followed them inside, I thought that maybe I would take a watch on the roof, I had not done it yet although I had spent quite a bit of time away from the lodge and didn’t have many opportunities.

Later, after dinner that evening everyone broke up into small groups; some played cards, others had kitchen duty, and others chatted. I sat near the fireplace and watched the Morena’s, Lucy, and Janey play cards while I eavesdropped on OMT and Mrs. Driscol. Their conversation went something like this:

M. Driscol: “Darnell is really nice isn’t he?”

OMT: “Yeah.”

M. Driscol: “He is very intelligent I think.”

OMT: “Seems so”

M. Driscol: “He’s good with the kids too, hard to find someone his age with the patience he has.”

OMT: “Yeah.”

M. Driscol: “Lucy and Johnny have really taken to him.”

OMT: <unrecognizable grunt>

There was a long uncomfortable silence and I could tell Mrs. Driscol was getting angry but I couldn’t figure out why.

M. Driscol: “He wants to meet me later tonight after the kids have gone to sleep.”

I couldn’t believe my ears and I waited for OMT to explode, only he didn’t, he turned and walked away.

M. Driscol: “YOU ARE AN ASS.” she said between gritted teeth.

Suddenly OMT stopped and turned back to her,

“And you are a lovely, intelligent young woman who doesn’t deserve to be alone.”

Once again he started to walk away.

M. Driscol: “Bob and I were getting a divorce.” she said quietly. “Billy didn’t know, we were going to tell him when…”

OMT stopped but he didn’t look back at her, so she continued

M. Driscol: “We haven’t been close for a long time, almost eight years.”

OMT said something but I couldn’t hear what it was, but I do know that he made Mrs. Driscol cry. She said that

“If that is what you want then so be it” or something along those lines.

She turned and stormed upstairs. Now I knew it for sure, grown-ups were crazy.

That night I lay in bed and I could hear Old Man Tucker on the roof, he would remain still for a bit then slowly he would walk to the other corner of the lodge, his footsteps growing quieter until they disappeared altogether. A few minutes later the faint sound of those heavy, slow footsteps would grow until it felt like he was standing right above me. Who knows maybe he was.

I tried to make my head stop spinning; Billy’s mom had been going to get a divorce. That would have devastated Billy. Maybe that is why she didn’t seem so upset when he never showed up again? If Darnell got together with Mrs. Driscol and I call her Mom, do I have to call Darnell dad? Didn’t seem to make much sense Mrs. Driscol was at least a dozen years older than Darnell. Then again, Mr. and Mrs. Livingston would be my grandparents. This made me laugh a bit, I had never known my real grandparents but I never imagined being the only white kid in the family either. Well, that wasn’t true exactly; Lucy and Elaine would be as well.

Suddenly I heard other footsteps, these were in the hall, and I saw Darnell’s lanky, athletic frame walk past my door wearing only boxers and a T-shirt with no sleeves. I heard him tap lightly on the door that Mrs. Driscol had taken that night after Lucy had gone to sleep and she thought I had. I waited and I heard Darnell knock again; I was beginning to wonder if she were going to answer it at all but at that very moment I heard the lock turn and the door made a soft swoosh as she opened it. I heard the lock click back in place as she shut the door a moment later.

Mrs. Driscol liked Old Man Tucker even though he was old and fat and grumpy. He wouldn’t even tell her his full name and wouldn’t call her Amy like she repeatedly asked him to. I thought about him, why he always wanted to do dangerous stuff. Why did he keep putting himself at risk for us? I thought about the Franks’ dog and Lucy, of the day we tried to leave, and the swarm at the camp ground. I remembered when we rescued Janey and things went to hell and Billy died and when he killed my mother. With that memory any good thoughts I had disappeared and suddenly I hoped that tomorrow Mrs. Driscol made Old Man Tucker hurt as much as I was hurting right then.