The Bonus

Dominic and Lucia stand behind my legs, scared of the jet, and I smile down at them. “Come.” I hold my hand out and Lucia takes it, and to my surprise, Dominic takes the other one.

He’s holding my hand.

I want to jump in the air and scream it out loud, but I won’t… I’ll pretend magical things like this happen to me every day.

“Up the stairs.” I lead them onto the plane and we walk down the aisle. “Sit here.”

“I want to sit next to you.” Lucia beams excitedly.

“Me too,” Dom says softly, almost to himself.

Oh…

“I’ll go get Mom and be back in a moment.” I walk back down the stairs, pick up Grace and bring her onto the plane, and put her into her seat, then move back to the children. “For takeoff, we need to sit in these seats, and then we can move to the couch so that you can both sit beside me, okay?”

They nod.

“You sit here, Lucia, and you here, Dom.” I bend and do the seat belts up on the large cream leather seats. “It opens and closes like this.” I show them. “Mom and I will sit opposite you.” I glance over to Grace to see she has this worried look on her face, and I raise my eyebrow in question.

She smiles and gives a subtle shake of her head.

The stewardess comes out. “Hello, I’m Nala. I’ll be looking after you today,” she says.

“Hello, Nala. This is my partner, Grace, and these are my children, Dominic and Lucia.” I smile proudly.

“Hello.” The kids beam.

“Can I get you any drinks for takeoff, sir?”

“You get drinks and everything,” Lucia whispers, wide-eyed. “What even is this place?”

I chuckle and glance over to see Grace once again looking like she just swallowed a fly.

I take her hand and hold it in mine.

What’s wrong?

“We’ll have two glasses of Moët and two glasses of fizzy drink please?”

“Fizzy drink?” Nala frowns.

“Sprite,” I correct myself.

Grace smiles at me calling it fizzy drink, and I do too. The children bounce in their seats with excitement. This is a special day. Bringing my children and Grace home to New York means a lot to me.

My eyes roam over Gracie’s beautiful face and a sense of calm falls over me, never have I been so under the spell of a woman before. Her calm resolve and inner strength. The way she loves our children, the way she makes me feel. It’s as if all my pent-up feelings for her over the years have boiled over and I no longer have any control over them.

I am irrevocably hers.

There’s not a doubt in my mind now that she is the love of my life. She has always been the love of my life, long before I even realized it.

My aim is to convince her to move to New York so that we are never apart. The more I settle into my new role as a father, the more I realize that I can’t be without them for four days every week.

Nala brings our drinks, and I hold my glass up. The kids smile as they raise theirs to meet mine. “To the Big Apple.”

Mark throws the Uno card down onto the table. We’re playing with the kids…again. We’ve converted Mark into a long-suffering Uno champ too.

I glance over to my beautiful Gracie sitting alone on the other side of the plane, she’s looking out the window with her book in her hand and then I notice something. She’s wearing her diamond tennis bracelet I bought her all those years ago.

She put it back on.

Gracie glances up and catches me staring at her. I wink and she smiles softly.

I feel it all the way to my bones.

I need her, I need us to be officially together, and while we haven’t had sex, she’s going to hold me at arm’s length…she already is.

Tonight, I fix it. Tonight…she’s mine.

Grace

The sun is just beginning to set as the car pulls into the underground parking lot, and the kids stare out the window in awe. Gabriel chats away, happily explaining everything to them, all the while I feel myself spiraling.

The last two times I was in New York were so traumatic for me that somehow it’s triggered a million emotions. I feel unexpectedly angry with him, I feel scared for me, but more than anything, I feel terrified for my children.

What have I done?

If we don’t work out… We’re here already.

The thought of going home with the two children alone is more than I can bear.

Gabriel’s warm hand squeezes mine and I glance up. “Are you okay? You’re very quiet.”

I force a smile. “Just tired.”

He pulls me close and kisses my temple and I ease out of his grip. “Stop,” I whisper.

We’re not telling the children we are together yet…remember?

Ugh, this is so like him to assume control.

He gives me the side eye and I turn to stare out the window. I don’t know what the fuck is going on with me right now, but I need to snap out of it.

And quick.

It was me who said we could try again. I can’t say that I forgive him and then drag things up and throw them in his face forever. The relationship will be doomed before it even begins.

New York is just a place, it’s not a behavior, I remind myself.

I know what I’ve got to do…but realistically, how do you pretend that you aren’t so terrified of being hurt again that you can hardly breathe?

The car pulls to a stop, and as they all climb out, I know I have to make a decision right here and now.

Forget the past and live in the present or end this relationship before it turns toxic.

It’s either or; it can’t be both.

Gabriel leans into the car to help me out. “Let’s go, babe,” he says softly.

My eyes search his, and this is it, the moment I know I have to decide.

Past or present…

He kisses my fingertips and smiles in at me and I melt into his gaze.

I have to try…

Present.

I climb out of the car and the kids grab both my hands. “Are we actually underground now?” Dominic whispers.

“Uh-huh.” I look around nervously. I feel like a little kid again too, everything in New York is in IMAX, even the underground parking lots.

“The elevator is this way,” Gabriel tells us as he walks ahead and pushes the button.

The kids’ eyes widen, and they balk at the door. “What’s this?” Lucia whispers.

Gabriel frowns. “You’ve never been in an elevator before?”

They both shake their heads and I smile at their innocence. Maybe I should be horrified.

“Hop in.” Gabriel smiles. “This will take us up to our house.”

“There’s a house here?” Dominic whispers.

“Yes.”

“On top of the parking lot?” Lucia scrunches up her face in question. “That’s weird.”

Good grief, these children are country bumpkins.

“Isn’t this fun.” I pull them by the hands into the elevator, and Lucia cowers behind me.

Gabriel bends and picks her up. “It’s okay.” He smiles and pushes the button and the doors close. “It’s like a rocket ship.”

As we ride up, Dom squeezes my hand so tight that he nearly cuts off the circulation.

The numbers over the door rise, and with every floor we go up, I feel a little more of my excitement return.

We’re actually doing this.

The doors open to a foyer, on one side it has floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking New York and the other side has big, black double doors.

“Look at New York.” Gabriel walks over to the window with Lucia in his arms, they stare out over the twinkling lights way down below. “Isn’t she beautiful?”

Dom pulls me back by the hand, he’s scared.

“It’s okay, baby.” I smile. I edge us closer to the window. “Look at the lights, isn’t it pretty.”

His little eyes roam over the view, and he frowns. “Well…where is it?”

“Where’s what?” Gabriel asks.

“The big apple.”

Gabriel lets out a deep belly laugh, and it brings with it a tingle to my spine. He has the most beautiful laugh; I don’t hear it often enough.

“There isn’t actually an apple here.” He smiles, his eyes twinkle with delight.

“Well…why do you call it the big apple?” Dominic replies.

“It’s just a nickname.”

Dominic’s eyebrows flick up. “That’s dumb, what has this place got anything to do with apples?”

Gabriel laughs again, and I giggle too. “You do have a fair point.” Gabriel goes to the big black doors and scans his finger and then presses in a code on the PIN pad. The door clicks in release and he pushes it open.

We are hit in the face with the opulent luxury of a huge living room. The furniture is all cream with black trimmings, a gigantic black-and-cream rug is on the floor, and behind it are floor-to-ceiling windows looking over New York.

“Whoa.” Dominic’s and Lucia’s eyes widen as they peer in.

Holy fuck.

Holy fucking fuck.

This penthouse is new. I thought his last one was over-the-top beautiful.

This one is astronomical.

There are big cream floor lamps and a black square coffee table in the center that is adorned with beautiful ornaments. I get a vision of a ball being kicked and smashing everything to smithereens.

Oh hell…those need to be packed away stat.

“Come this way.” He bends down and picks up Dominic too and walks ahead of me. “Out here is our kitchen.” We walk through to a huge cream marble kitchen, what the hell…the island bench must be seven meters long. “And over here is our living room.” He brings us through to another living room, and my eyes widen; this living room is as big as the entire bottom floor of my house. “And this is our garden.” He pushes a button and the glass doors all begin to slide open.

“What the…?” I frown.

There’s a great big yard complete with a swimming pool. A full garden at the top of a skyscraper with grass and everything? Just…what the hell?

I’m flabbergasted.

“A pool?” Dominic yells.

“And it’s heated, you can go for a swim now if you like.”

Lucia’s eyes are the size of saucers as she looks around.

“Down here is the theater room and the gym, my office and a guest bedroom and bathroom,” he says casually as he walks down the corridor. “There’s a bar room.”

“Whoa.” Dominic’s eyes are bulging from his head. “This is…” His eyes flick to me, and I nod. “I know, bubba.”

It really is unbelievable; no wonder Gabriel has been struggling so hard in my tiny ramshackle of a house.

“Let me show you our bedrooms.” Gabriel carries the twins inside and I hobble along behind them. He goes to walk up the grand double staircase and looks back at me limping. “We will catch the elevator upstairs for Mom.”

“There’s an elevator in here?” I squeak.

Gabriel smiles over at me, realizing I’m a country bumpkin too. “Yes.” We get into the elevator and he pushes the button.

“You guys take the stairs if you are on your own, okay?” I get an image of one of them getting stuck in here or squashing the other one or something. The doors open and my eyes widen again, we’re in another living room. Giant-sized with big slouchy couches and cushions everywhere. “I had all this furniture ordered in for you guys, I thought this could be your living room.” He puts the kids down on the floor and opens the television cabinet. “I bought you an Xbox and I got Disney Plus and stuff.”

I smile that his sales pitch contains Xbox and Disney Plus.

“Whoa.” Dominic begins to bounce on the spot.

“And down here are the bedrooms.” He leads us down the grand hallway. “There are six bedrooms, and the end three are ours.” He points down to the end. “On the left is Dominic’s room.” We peer in and see a huge bedroom, it’s blue and beautifully furnished, there are floor-to-ceiling windows and big heavy curtains. “Wow.” We all gasp.

“On the right is Lucia’s room.” We all peer in to see the exact same version of Dominic’s room, only in pinks. “This is incredible,” I whisper.

“And here is Mom’s and my room.” He presents the room as if he’s the best real estate agent in town. “This is all new furniture and stuff for Mom.”

I look around, and my eyes widen…

What the…

The room is cream and coffee colors, beautiful velvet bedding and a big duck shell–blue rug. Crystal lamps and oh… “Gabe,” I whisper. “This is the most beautiful room I’ve ever seen.”

He kisses my temple. “Do you like it?”

“I love it.”

“Oh, and look.” He walks to a door and opens it. “This is your wardrobe.” I walk into a full other room; the entire walls are shelves and racks, and in the middle is a huge marble set of drawers.

It looks like a Kardashian wardrobe.

“I bought you a few things…it’s colder here.”

I look around, and there are designer clothes all hanging with the price tags still on them.

My eyes flick to him in question. “You bought me clothes?”

“Just a few things.” He shrugs. “You can return anything you don’t like.”

“Thanks,” I whisper, distracted.

“This is our bathroom.” He opens another door and I see a sunken circular bath and shower in apricot marble.

My eyes roam around, and I honestly don’t know what to look at first. This is ridiculous wealth, how much did this place cost?

“What do you think?” Gabriel whispers nervously. “Do you like it?”

“It’ll do…I guess.”

He chuckles and pulls me into a hug and kisses my temple. “Thanks for coming, it means a lot.”

“Mom.” Lucia tugs on my shirt.

Gabriel holds me tight, not letting me go.

“Yes?” I smile, unable to take my eyes off my beautiful man.

“I need to poo?”

Gabriel closes his eyes and I giggle; kids have impeccable timing.

The bedroom is dark, lit only by the television as it drones in the background.

After swimming in the pool and then in the hot tub, dinner and showers and the whole damn rigmarole, we are in bed watching Home Alone, the children between us and seemingly settling in for the night.

“Why don’t we get you into your own rooms?” Gabriel suggests.

“No,” Lucia snaps as she snuggles closer into him. “We want to sleep with you tonight, our bedrooms are scary.”

“They’re right next door,” he mutters dryly.

I smile into my pillow. He wants alone time, and the kids are being super clingy because they’re in a new environment.

“We want to sleep with you tonight,” Dominic announces. “The bed is big enough.”

Gabriel rolls his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Great,” he mouths across their heads at me. He puts his arms along the pillow and brushes the backs of his fingers across my face. I smile. A simple act to tell me what he’s wishing we were doing.

Me too.

Dominic snuggles into me and Lucia snuggles into him, and he smiles lovingly over at me. “I love you,” he says softly.

“Love you too,” Lucia says all sleepily.

I glance down to see that Dominic is already asleep, and I smile over at Gabriel, he blows me a kiss good night before he turns off the bedside lamp.

I know it’s not the night he wanted…but it’s pretty perfect anyway.

I wake with a start and look around, disoriented. Darkness, but Gabriel isn’t in bed with the three of us.

I sit up onto my elbow and look around, I grab my phone from the side table.

4:30 a.m.

Where is he?

I sneak out of bed and, using the light on my phone, go in search of him. I pad down the hall and check the bedrooms as I pass. Down the stairs and through the house.

No sign of him…is he even here? Where would he have gone…

Ariana.

Panic sets in, and I begin to look more urgently.

Did she call him? Did he rush to her side? I hobble up the hall to his gym, the only room I haven’t checked, and I burst open the door. To my surprise and utter relief, I find Gabriel running on the treadmill.

“Thank god.” I put my hand over my heart.

He slows the treadmill down, his T-shirt wet with perspiration, his skin covered with a wet shine. His chest is heaving as he struggles for air.

“Hey,” he pants as the treadmill comes to a standstill. “What’s wrong?”

“I thought you weren’t here.”

“Where would I go?”

Before I put my brain-to-mouth filter on, I reply, “To her.”

He frowns as he stares at me. “To who?”

I wrap my dressing gown around me. What the hell did I say that for? “Never mind.”

“No.” His chest is still struggling for air. “What did you mean by that?” He pulls me by the hand down the hall and into the kitchen, sits me up on the large island bench and puts his hands on either side of my legs. “Now, I’m going to ask you again…what did you mean by that?”

“I just…” My eyes well with tears.

Damn it, I don’t want to be this insecure crazy person.

“You mean Ariana?” he pants.

I nod.

“Gracie.” He brushes the hair back from my forehead. “I’m one hundred percent with you.”

My eyes search his.

“I have called to check on her but haven’t seen Ariana since I brought her back to New York. I would never…” He frowns as if shocked by my insecurity. “You think I would go to her?”

“You loved her.”

“I did. But not in the way I love you.” Empathy fills his face, and he cups my cheek in his hand. “Gracie…is this what’s been bothering you today?”

“I just feel like you have unfinished business with her,” I whisper. “And coming back here has just…”

“Just what?”

“I have a bad feeling that something is going to happen to ruin this for us.”

“Sweetheart.” He kisses me softly. “I know this has happened very fast, and yes, it’s true, I was with Ariana. But I came looking for you for a reason…because deep down, I knew you were the woman I was supposed to be with.”

A tear rolls down my cheek.

“I swear on my life, you have nothing to worry about. I’ll never leave you again.”

I screw up my face in tears.

“Gracie,” he whispers as he holds my face in his hands. “I know I’ve given you no reason to trust me. But we need to get past this.”

“I want to believe you… I’m trying so hard, I just…”

“Tell me.” His eyes search mine. “Just tell me how you feel.”

His silhouette blurs as the final wall comes down. “I love you,” I blurt out. “I’ve always loved you. From the first day I met you…it’s always been you.”

He kisses me.

“I left New York because I couldn’t bear to see you and not have you. I was dying a little every day in your office.”

“You have all of me now.” His lips dust mine.

My tears, his sweat…a million regrets.

“I just…” I screw up my face because damn it, now I’ve opened my mouth, I can’t seem to stop it running.

“You just what?”

“We never even went on a first date,” I sob.

His face falls as he realizes I’m right. “Gracie…” he whispers. “Will you go on a date with me?”

I shrug, embarrassed that I had to ask for one, more embarrassed that it matters.

It shouldn’t, I know it’s childish…but somehow, the child in me still believes in fairy tales.

“Not just any date,” he says to sweeten the deal. “The date of all dates. My A game of dates. This date is going to be in the Guinness Book of Records, it’s going to be so fucking good.”

I smile through tears.

“What do you say?” He holds my hands in his.

“I’ll think about it.” I smile bashfully.

He gives me a slow, sexy smile. “And I want to give you something else to think about…before our date.” He lays me back onto the island bench, his hand slides up my bare thighs and he spreads my legs. He dips his head and softly kisses me between my legs through my panties.

Oh…

His dark eyes hold mine as he pulls my panties to the side, and I hold my breath as his tongue slides through the lips of my sex.

My back arches off the counter at his touch.

Fuck…

Arousal flickers in his eyes, and he slides my panties down my legs and throws them over his shoulder. Then, as if losing control, he lifts my knees and holds my legs back.

He spreads me wide with his fingers as his thick tongue licks me deep, right through the middle of my swollen flesh.

I whimper as I squirm. “Get up here,” I whimper. “Gabriel…get up here.”

He really begins to eat me, his head thrashing from side to side, my arousal all over his stubble.

“Fuck me,” I beg. “I need you to fuck me.”

But he’s lost, too far deep into his desire. Teetering on the edge between heaven and ecstasy. He really lets me have it, and I shudder. “I need you to…”

Oh…good fucking lord.

“You’ll wait.” He licks his lips.

“What?” I pant. “I can’t. Please…”

He pulls his erect cock out of his shorts; it’s pulsing and angry, beading on the end, and he swipes it through my creamy flesh.

The anticipation of him being inside of me is too much, I shudder hard and cry out, the orgasm so strong, it sits me up.

With his eyes focused between my legs, he strokes himself once, twice, three times… I watch the moment he ejaculates through the lips of my sex.

Never have I seen something so hot…so ridiculously fucking hot.

He lifts his fingers and slowly slides them through my pulsing body.

Rubbing himself into me, making sure I feel every drop of his semen.

Fucking…hell.

I feel the hot cream of his seed as he smears it through my sex.

He pants as he watches me, the darkness behind his eyes sends a shiver up my spine.

A perspiration sheen is all over his skin, and honestly…I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.

“I wanted you then,” I pant as I pull him down to kiss me. “Why couldn’t we…?”

“I’m waiting for our date,” he whispers in my ear. “I want it to be special. I’m a virgin, you know.”

I giggle as I hold him close. “Virgins don’t know how to do what you just did.”

“You’d be surprised.” I feel him smile into my hair. “Porn is very educational.”

Gabriel walks out of his wardrobe in his dark gray suit with a crisp white shirt and I smile. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I can’t even pretend to act casual about him. I’m fangirling like a pro.

He walks back into his wardrobe and sprays his aftershave on, and I walk in and grab him by the tie. “Seeing you in your suit makes me want to drop to my knees…Mr. Ferrara.”

His eyes hold mine, and he unzips his trousers. “Do it.”

We’ve had the best weekend.

On Saturday morning, we went to the market and wandered around, then we went out for lunch, followed by bike riding around Central Park. Well, the four of them, the kids, Gabriel and Mark, rode a bike, and Gabriel pulled me along in a buggy.

Mark crashed his bike and Gabriel was laughing so hard that he nearly ran us into a lake, it was so fun.

Saturday night we had a dreamy dinner on the terrace and then the kids played in the hot tub while Gabriel and I drank too much red wine while lying on the deck chairs.

Yesterday we had a lazy day, we unpacked our suitcases and did online grocery shopping to get ready for the week.

Seeing everything fresh through the kids’ eyes, seeing the love in his.

I’d forgotten how much I love New York.

This weekend reminded me.

He slams the wardrobe door shut and pushes me down to my knees, in one sharp movement he slides his thick cock down my throat until I gag. He smiles down at me as he tenderly brushes my hair back from my face. “If you’re going to talk the talk.” He drives himself farther down my throat, and I giggle around him. “Behave.”

What must we look like, him in a full power suit, with everything to perfection, and me with wild hair and still in my pajamas.

He grabs my head with two hands and begins to fuck my mouth.

“Suck. My. Cock.”

Monday, 2 p.m.

I sit in the park as the kids play on the playground, Mark is hovering around somewhere but won’t come and sit with me. Gabriel has obviously warned him to keep his distance from me whenever he’s not around.

Jealous prick.

I sip my to-go coffee and smile as I watch Lucia and Dominic talk to a group of kids. I can hear them telling them where we’re from and the kids asking questions back.

My phone rings and the name Gabriel lights up the screen.

“Hello.” I smile.

“Hello, is this Mrs. Cock Sucker?” he breathes, and I can tell he’s smiling.

“This is Miss Cock Sucker.”

“Hmm, well, with a performance like this morning, you won’t be unmarried for long,” he whispers darkly. “My cock tingles every time I think of it…well done.”

I giggle and look around guiltily. “Did you call me at the kids’ playground to discuss my culinary skills, Mr. Ferrara?”

“Absolutely,” he whispers. “What are you wearing?”

“What am I wearing?” I glance up into the hard, cold stare of Gabriel’s mother, she’s standing over me. I glance around for Mark; he’s nowhere to be seen.

Fuck.

“Hang up,” she mouths. “Now.”