The Bonus

Six months later.

I print the letter out and carefully fold it, with my heart in my throat, I slide it into the envelope.

Today’s the day.

I’ve bought a house on the lake in Greenville and am moving out of state.

It’s my last week working at Ferrara Media.

My last week with him.

I’m about to resign; I’ll only have to work the four days until Christmas. I have the Christmas party, which I’ve decided that I’m going to look shit hot at. Then I’ve already booked my owed four weeks’ vacation leave for January and that will count toward my one month’s notice that I must give.

I’m trying to make this as seamless as possible, and in a perfect world, everything will run smoothly, but I know Gabriel is going to make my life a living hell once I tell him. I’ve already trained Greg to cover my position while I’m away, and I’m hoping that he will get to keep my job in the new year. And yes, it’s true, I know what you’re thinking, and to answer your question, yes.

Yes, I did. I trained up Greg, do you really think I’m going to hand over Gabriel to another female PA to watch him get dressed every morning?

I’m moving on…not stupid.

Right, this is it.

I let out a deep breath and knock on the door.

“Come in,” his deep voice calls.

I push the door open and there he stands, wearing white briefs, his suit and shirt in his hand. I could just cry. I would give anything to see him get dressed at the end of my bed, even just once.

Focus.

“Good morning, Gracie,” he says as he takes his suit pants from the hanger. “You look lovely today.”

So do you.

“Morning.” I smile, my heart is racing, and I just know this isn’t going to go down well.

“Before I forget, can you drop down to Tiffany’s and pick up a gift for me today?”

Huh?

Actually…good…a reminder of why I’m doing this, thank you, universe, I needed this.

Hit me straight in the face with it.

“Sure thing, what am I getting?” I ask.

He pulls his shirt around his shoulders. “I don’t know. Earrings, necklace…some bullshit.”

I roll my eyes and take out my notepad. “Umm…what are we talking? Gold, silver…platinum?”

He twists his lips. “Gold.”

“What’s the budget?”

“I don’t know, you pick.”

I exhale as I write it down. “Diamonds?”

“Fuck no.” He fakes a shiver as if disgusted.

I glance up. “Why fuck no?”

“I’ll only ever buy a diamond for someone I love.”

“You should probably buy yourself a few, then,” I mutter, deadpan.

He smirks as he buttons up his shirt. “I am the diamond.”

No shit, Sherlock. A diamond python. Looks pretty…but if left unattended, will suffocate you to death.

“Okay…if you say so.” I roll my eyes.

Thump, thump, thump goes my heart. I can’t wait until the end of our meeting; I need to tell him now. I pull out the envelope and hold it out to him. “I’ve got something for you.”

He turns and his eyes fall to the envelope and then rise to meet mine.

“What’s this?”

I swallow the lump in my throat. “It’s my resignation.”

His face falls. “What?”

“I….”

“No.”

“Gabriel…I’m not asking for your permission. I am leaving.”

He snatches the envelope from my hand and tears it in half and then throws it in the wastepaper basket. “You will do no such thing.”

Here we go.

He marches to the door and opens it in a rush. “Go back to your desk and get to work.”

“No.”

“Do. As. I. Say,” he growls.

“No.”

“Do not tell me no!” He’s about to go into cardiac arrest. “You work for me, not the other way around.”

“You’re in your underpants, you know?” I gesture down at his body. “The whole office could walk in and see you.”

“I fucking know that,” he screams, but he must realize that I’m right, and he slams the door shut again. He marches over to his suit as it lies on the chair.

“And where do you think you’re going to work, hey?” He picks up his pants, and being so angry, he struggles to put them on. “Do you think you are going to work with a competitor? Because I call fucking bullshit.”

“I’m taking some time off for me.” I cross my arms as I watch his tantrum unfold.

He flicks his pants angrily in front of him. “You can’t afford to take time off.”

“Yes, I can.”

“Well, you can get this harebrained idea out of your head right fucking now, Grace,” he yells. He pulls his pants up so fast that his leg gets caught and he nearly falls over. “Fuck off,” he cries in frustration.

I roll my lips to hide my smile.

“Get out,” he screams, the veins in his forehead are bulging and he’s going red.

I let out a deep exhale. “There is no need to be this dramatic, Gabriel.”

“I tore up your letter, it doesn’t count. Take the day off and come to your senses.”

“That’s not happening, I’ve already emailed my resignation to HR and will be finishing up on the twenty-second of December.”

“What?” he explodes. “That’s four days away.”

“I know.”

“Get out,” he screams as he loses all control.

“Fine.” I walk out and he slams the door behind me, it echoes through the whole of New York.

Jeez.

I sit for a moment.

Bang.

I jump when I hear something hit the back of his door; I think it was his pen holder.

Ugh…he’s always so over the top.

Bzzzzz.

I push the button to answer my intercom. “Yes, Mr. Ferrara.”

“Get to work!”

I smirk. Man…I need caffeine, it’s way too early for all this drama.

I make my way to the kitchen, and I hear the elevator ding.

Gabriel comes flying out of the office like a hornet.

“There is a gas leak on this floor, go away,” he yells to Geoffrey.

“What?” poor Geoffrey stammers, wide eyed. “Should I call someone?”

“I already have. Work from level two today,” he barks. “Tell everyone else from this floor to work from there too, put a note in the elevator.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose…seriously?

This is going to be the day from hell.

I walk back out into the office with my cup of coffee.

“We need to work from level two today,” Geoffrey tells me. “There’s a gas leak.”

“Oh, okay.” I act oblivious. “I’ll grab my things.”

Gabriel narrows his eyes and points to his office. “A word, Miss Porter.” He sneers.

Geoffrey looks between us in confusion.

“It’s okay, Geoffrey, you go on without me. Mr. Ferrara has been sniffing too much gas, he’s having a meltdown.”

Geoffrey’s eyes widen as he looks between us. “Oh no. Should I call an ambulance?”

“Go to level two, Geoffrey!” Gabriel screams.

Geoffrey scrambles to get his things and half runs to the elevator.

I sit down and open my computer. Gabriel paces back and forth in front of my desk, his hands are on his hips, and his eyes are crazy.

“Fine, twenty percent pay raise, that’s it,” he snaps.

I stay silent.

He continues to pace. “Hardball, hey…twenty five percent and that’s it.”

I begin to type as I act uninterested. “No thanks.”

“What do you mean, no thanks?” he barks.

“It’s not about the money.”

“Everything is about money,” he fires back.

I roll my eyes and go back to my computer.

“Fifty percent pay raise and that’s totally fucking it.”

I keep typing. “No.”

“Double your wage and do not talk to me again. This is daylight robbery,” he screams. “You are trying to fuck me up the ass, and I won’t have it.”

I was expecting a tantrum, but this is over the top. I shake my head in disgust. “Can you even hear yourself right now? The last thing I want to do is fuck you up the ass.”

He puts his hands on his hips and begins to pace again, his mind is racing.

I continue to pretend to type, and I do have to admit, him groveling is doing wonders for my confidence.

“Fine, don’t go to Tiffany’s today, it doesn’t matter. I won’t get her the gift.”

Huh?

I look up from my computer. Does he know?

“Why would you say that?”

“That’s it, isn’t it?” he says.

“We are not having this conversation, Gabriel,” I snap.

“Yes. We. Fucking. Are.”

“I’m leaving because I’ve bought myself a house.”

He takes a step back, completely shocked. “You bought a house?”

I nod. “In Greenville.”

“Where’s that?”

“Maine.”

“Why the fuck would you buy a house in Maine?” He screws up his face in horror.

“Because…it’s time.”

“For what?” he bellows. “To turn fucking Amish?”

“I want a family home with a garden and a dog, maybe even a family. Renting a tiny apartment in New York is never going to get me there.”

He blinks as he processes my words.

“I need to get out of New York, Gabriel.”

“New York is your home.”

“New York is your home. I’ve been here for seven years and I…” I shrug, not wanting to elaborate on my loneliness. “I haven’t met anyone and it’s time for me to pull up my big-girl panties and move on.”

He pauses for a moment as if processing my words.

“You’re leaving me?” he whispers.

“I have to.”

His eyes search mine.

“I’m sorry.”

His jaw clenches, and then without another word he marches back into his office and slams the door, it echoes as the walls shake.

Hot tears burn my eyes.

You were supposed to beg me to stay.

It’s 6 p.m. and everyone has cleared out for the day. Gabriel hasn’t left his office all day, not even for lunch.

I’ve been hoping to have a quick word on his way out, but there’s still no sign of him.

The office is deathly silent, and I quietly knock on his door.

“Yes,” he calls.

I open it and peep in. “I’m going to head off soon.”

He doesn’t look up from his computer. “Okay.”

I wait for him to look up at me…he doesn’t.

“Close the door on your way out,” he replies flatly as he picks up a pen and starts signing some documents.

Great, now the tantrum is over, he’s going to give me the silent treatment. “Are you not talking to me?” I ask.

“I have nothing to say.” He keeps writing.

“Gabriel…”

He lets out an over exaggerated sigh as he glances up. “What is it?”

“I don’t want this to end badly.”

“It’s already ended. You can finish now. No need to come back and work this week, I’ve signed the last of your leave documents. You are free to go.”

I get a lump in my throat as I stare at him…that’s it?

He really doesn’t care.

He keeps his head down as he writes, seemingly totally unaffected.

I will not cry in front of this selfish bastard, it’s all about him…it’s always been about him.

I quietly close his office door and walk to my desk. I take my bag from the drawer and, with one long last look around the office, I feel my heart break.

Maybe he’s right, maybe I am doing the wrong thing. Who’s to say I’m going to like Greenville, anyway?

No.

This is what he wants. If I give up on my dream now, I’m only cheating myself.

No pain, no gain.

The thing about being a glutton for punishment is this…

Nothing.

Turns out that I’m a total ho for gluttony punishment and there is no excuse for my needy behavior. After tossing and turning all night, there’s only one thing I know.

I am not a quitter.

Just as I said I would, I will work until the end of the week and then I’m going to the Christmas party looking shit hot and then I’m walking out on my terms. He cannot finish me up on a whim.

Who the fuck does he think he is, anyway?

Right on 8:20 a.m., I knock on his door.

“Yes,” he barks.

I smirk, he’s annoyed that I came back. Well…prepare to be angered, fucker. I open the door in a rush and step back as my eyes widen in horror.

He’s making coffee in his briefs. Black, sexy Calvin Klein ones.

Lingerie for men.

He turns toward me, giving me a full frontal. “What are you doing here?”

I open my mouth to say something, but no words come out.

“Ahhh.” My eyes bulge from their sockets. “What are you doing…?” I put my hands up toward his body. I’m flabbergasted as my eyes drop to the bulge in his briefs. “Doing that,” I gasp.

“I’m making fucking coffee, what does it look like?”

Something snaps in my brain. “It looks like you’re being a poser, that’s what it looks like. This isn’t a Calvin Klein runway show, you know.”

“Nobody has a gun to your head to look.” He angrily tips the coffee into his cup. “I think you like what you see, that’s what I think.”

“Oh…you think that!” I yell, horrified that he’s onto me. “I think you’re…hideous.”

“Hideous?” he screams back, infuriated. “You’re hideous.”

Something about my boss standing there in his underpants, yelling that I’m hideous, tickles my fancy and I burst out laughing.

“Nothing is funny about this,” he fumes. “Look away while I dress.”

“Oh please, I’ve seen it all now,” I scoff. “Stop acting frigid, we both know you’re not.” I sit down and open his computer.

“Apparently I’m too hideous to look at,” he mutters as he disappears into his closet.

I smirk as I open his calendar.

Not really.

I take one long last look in the mirror.

This is it.

My last time at Ferrara Media, the Christmas party at the office.

Most people stayed back straight from work, but I wanted to duck home and shower, try to pull a miracle together and make myself irresistible.

I’m wearing a red wrap dress, and I feel as self-conscious as all hell.

I never wear red; I have red hair and that’s enough. Well, it’s not really red, it’s a deep auburn, but you get the gist. It’s out and full, my makeup a little sexier than usual.

The dress has a vee neck that shows a peek of cleavage and a tie around the waist, it feels happy and Christmassy. I wanted to wear something different, he’s never seen me in something like this before, so I wanted it to be wow…not sure if it actually is, but that’s the plan.

I am waxed, fake tanned and moisturized to within an inch of my life, who knew it takes so much work to look hot. I really need to step up my self-care routine when I get on the dating scene in Greenville.

I smile to myself, the dating scene in Greenville.

That’s the first time I’ve let myself consider the possibilities of dating in my new life.

Apart from the leaving Gabriel part, I’m really beginning to get excited. I’ve been saving for years, and with the cost of the house being cheaper than I thought, I have enough money to buy myself new furniture and do up the house exactly how I want it.

I even booked myself a trip to Hawaii, all by myself.

Who even am I?

Right, I collect my coat and bag, let’s do this.

“Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms rings out as the band on stage does their thing.

The ground floor of Ferrara Media has been transformed into a magical wonderland. The Christmas decorations are over the top and waiters are walking around with silver trays of eggnog and champagne.

People are wearing bright dresses and Christmas outfits; laughter rings out as people chatter and the mood is jovial and jolly. I’m glad I wore my red dress now; I feel better knowing that everyone else is dressed up too.

It was the last day of work today, and everyone is pumped for the holidays and celebrating together.

I walk in, and feeling self-conscious, I flag down the first waiter I see. “I’ll have one of those, please.”

He smiles as I take a glass of champagne. “Thank you.” I smile.

I wonder could I take two?

No, don’t be an animal.

“Grace,” I hear someone call. I turn to see Geoffrey and some of the others from our floor.

“Hi.” I make my way over.

“Wow, you look gorgeous.” Geoffrey smiles as he looks me up and down. “Like, really, really good.”

“She does, doesn’t she,” says Paul.

“Who knew you were so hot, Porter.”

I smile as I take a sip of my champagne.

Awkward…

Fuck it.

Don’t tell me this dress is going to bait the wrong one. I try to act casual as I look around. “Where is everyone?”

And by everyone, I mean your boss.

“The girls are at the cocktail bar and accounting is dancing. Marlene from level three flashed her tits on stage.”

I giggle as I scan the room, and then I stop still as my eyes meet Gabriel’s.

He’s wearing a dark gray suit, white shirt, Santa hat and my heart on the bottom of his shoe. He gives me a slow, sexy smile and raises his glass.

I smile and raise my glass right back.

He goes back to talking to the people he’s standing with, and I watch him, waiting for him to glance back over at me.

He doesn’t.

My heart free-falls from my chest at his totally unaffected demeanor, it’s not going to happen…is it?

I don’t know who I was kidding.

“Tell us about your new house.” Geoffrey smiles excitedly. “I can’t believe you’re actually doing this.”

“Me neither,” chimes in Paul.

I smile, grateful to the people who actually do give a crap about what I’m doing.

I drain my glass. I need to forget about my asshole boss and just enjoy the night.

It’s 11:30 p.m. and Gabriel left hours ago, he didn’t even say goodbye.

Wow.

More than wow, fucking wow.

What a prick!

I’m going to get going, my eyes linger on the elevator and I just…I want to see my office one last time. I don’t know why, but I do. I take the elevator to the top floor and make my way to my desk.

I look out over the view, it’s so different at night up here, the lights of New York light up the entire skyline.

Unlike the busy and bustling daytime.

It’s peaceful.

Serene.

I sit at my desk and look around.

So, this is what closure feels like. The end of one era and the beginning of another. I swivel on my chair, feeling proud of myself.

I did it, I made a plan and stuck to it. Did exactly what I needed to do.

I’m moving on.

I sit for a long time as I process everything that has happened over the last seven years, the dressing calendar sessions, the fights and tantrums. The sarcastic snark. The laughter, the crush.

Oh…the crush. I crushed hard, but in my defense, I am only human.

I walk to his office and open the door; it’s darkened, lit only by a lamp and his bathroom light. I look over his desk and smile sadly. It’s hard to believe I’ll never see him sitting here again. I run my hand over his desk, the back of his chair, over the keyboard that houses his fingers all day.

His presence is so strong in here, I can almost feel him.

“Couldn’t even say goodbye,” I mutter to myself as I cross my arms and look out over the view.

“Goodbye,” a deep voice says.

I spin to see Gabriel sitting in the darkened corner of the room.

He has an amber drink in his hand, his elbows resting on his thighs as he watches me.

“Gabriel,” I gasp, “I…didn’t see you.”

He stands and puts his drink down; his eyes are dark and dangerous and he walks over to me and stands so that his face is an inch away from mine.

The air leaves my lungs as I feel the heat from his body.

“I didn’t give you your Christmas bonus yet,” he murmurs.

I swallow the lump in my throat.

He raises his hand and rubs the back of his fingers over my breast as his eyes follow.

What the hell is happening right now?

“I…”

He puts his finger over my lips. “Don’t. Say. Anything.”

He puts his two hands around my waist and walks me back to his desk and then pushes me down onto it.

Thump. Thump. Thump…goes my poor weak heart.

He puts his hand on my chest and pushes me back so that I am lying down.

I stare at him, unsure what the hell is going on right now.

His large hands glide up my thighs and he slides my panties down my legs and takes them off.

Lifting them to his nose, he inhales deeply.

Goose bumps scatter all over.

Dear god.

He pushes my legs apart and his eyes linger on my sex. “Hmm.” He lets out an aroused purr as he parts the lips on my sex with his fingers. I can hardly breathe.

What the actual…

With his dark eyes locked on mine, he bends and licks me.

Deep and intimate.

“You taste fucking good.”