The Bonus

Gabriel stumbles back as Dominic pushes him. “Get away from her,” he yells.

“Dominic,” I stammer. “Leave it, go inside the house.”

“No.” He stands between Gabriel and me. “Go away,” he demands.

Gabriel’s chest rises and falls as he struggles for air, his eyes are locked on Dominic’s.

“I. Said. Go. Away.” He grabs my hand and tries to pull me into the house. “Mom, come on. Don’t cry.”

The car door opens and Mark climbs out, my eyes flick to him. I didn’t even realize he was in the car. “Hi, Grace.” He smiles.

“Mark.”

Dominic pushes me toward the house.

“It’s fine, Dom, go inside. I know Gabriel. You need to leave us to talk.”

“No. He’s mean.” He stands in between Gabriel and me. “Come inside with me.”

Gabriel and Dominic glare at each other in a standoff.

“Gabriel, now is not the time,” I stammer nervously. “We’ll organize to meet and talk, but…not here and not now. Please?” I whisper, I gesture to the back of Dominic. “Now is not the time.”

“Let’s go,” Mark says.

Gabriel’s furious eyes hold mine, and I wither under his wrath.

“We’ll come back later,” Mark says as he opens the back door of the car for Gabriel.

Without a word, Gabriel turns.

“Don’t come back,” Dominic spits.

Gabriel turns and I can feel the thermonuclear energy about to blow, he is livid.

I grab Dominic and push him behind me. “Don’t be rude,” I warn him. “That’s not how we speak to people, you know that.”

With one last murderous glance, Gabriel gets into the car and we watch on as it slowly pulls away.

I close my eyes in relief…and then in horror. In all of the nightmare situations I could ever have imagined of how this day would go if it ever happened, that was the absolute worst scenario.

Fuck.

I pace back and forth in my kitchen as panic sets in.

Why did he come here? How did he find out?

My name is Lucia Porter.

Oh my god…he knows, of course he knows, the children are the spitting image of him.

Maybe I should pack up the kids and go on the run?

He won’t do anything, he won’t do anything…I try to tell myself.

The problem is, I know him. Better than he knows himself, and I can bet my life on it that he is in shock right now. But when he recovers and gets himself together…

God help me.

The adult thing to do would be to call him and organize to meet.

And then do what?

Beg him not to take them from me.

Gabriel Ferrara is a powerful man; I know exactly what he is capable of.

He’s going to be furious.

Maybe he already has a wife and other children of his own? Maybe he won’t want anything to do with Lucy and Dom. Maybe they are just a blip on his radar.

Then why did he come?

Why did he just show up here unannounced if he didn’t have an agenda?

He knew… The moment I saw him, I could tell that he knew.

I keep seeing the animosity on his face, the sheer disgust at what I’ve done.

And who could blame him?

I’m disgusted in myself that I never told him that he fathered my children, regretted it from the day they were born, but in all honesty, how could I have done it any differently?

How could I have told him that I have not one but two children of his when he already told me that he wanted nothing to do with me? He said that we could never be together and that he only wanted an Italian wife and to have Italian children.

This was never in my plan either…I am the victim here…not him.

He had his fun and left without a care in the world. He’s been living the high life and I had two little babies while nursing a broken heart.

It’s been hard.

My stomach twists in my chest. I’ve purposely never looked him up because I didn’t want to know how wonderful his life was going.

But I have to know what I’m up against here, I enter into Google:

Gabriel Ferrara wife

My heart beats in my chest as I wait for the answer.

Gabriel Ferrara engaged to Ariana Rossi.

I search her name and click on images.

My stomach twists, picture after picture of the most beautiful Italian woman you have ever seen.

Long dark hair, perfect olive complexion, a figure to die for and looking like she’s just stepped off a runway. She’s everything that I’m not.

Not that I care, I hate him.

I’m so infuriated with myself that I wasted all those years working for him while pining for a man who didn’t even know I existed.

What the hell was I thinking?

I hate what he did to me, but damn it, I hate that I’m now the one feeling guilty as if I’ve done something wrong.

He asked me to stay away and I did just that.

Dominic walks out in his Little League uniform and I smile. “You ready to go?”

He nods in an over exaggerated way. “Uh-huh.”

“Lucy,” I call. “We’re leaving, honey.”

“Coming.”

I throw our bag of snacks over my shoulder. I just need to get on with it.

I tap my foot as I wait for Deb to answer her phone. Ring ring, ring ring.

“Pick up.”

The crowd cheers and I pretend to be excited. The very last place I want to be today is at Little League.

I can’t get on with it, I’m freaking the hell out.

You’ve reached Deborah, leave a message.

“Call me urgently,” I whisper into the phone. The crowd all cheers and I push the phone into my ear to try and cancel the noise. “Shit’s gone down, bad shit.” I hang up in a rush. “Where the hell is she?”

Debbie is the only person who knows the whole story.

“Where is she?” I dial her number again.

“What’s wrong?” She answers first ring.

“Thank god.” I stand. “Excuse me.” I squeeze past the other parents who are sitting in the stand. “Excuse me.” I need to get away from everyone so I can talk privately.

“Where are you?” I ask.

“I’m away for the wedding.”

“Oh god, I completely forgot.” I drag my hand through my hair. “Sorry to interrupt.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Gabriel turned up at my house.”

Silence.

“Did you hear me?” I stammer.

“Gabriel who?”

“Gabriel Ferrara,” I snap as my eyes bulge from their sockets. “What other Gabriel is there?”

“Oh…fuck.”

“He knows.”

“He knows?” she whispers in a panic. “How does he know?”

“I don’t know.”

“What happened?”

“We were leaving to go to ballet and I had toast hanging out of my mouth and then he turned up and I knew that he knew and I cried and then Dom went into crazy guard dog protection mode and I thought Gabriel was going to kill him.”

“Oh…Grace. Shit, this is bad. This is really, really bad.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose as I listen. “You think?”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know, he was furious and he left and then⁠—”

“And then what?” She cuts me off.

“I googled him and he’s getting married soon.”

“To who?”

“I don’t know, some beautiful Italian bitch.”

“Good, good riddance. Fuck off, asshole, and leave us alone.”

“Why would he come here when he’s getting married?” I whisper angrily.

Silence.

I can almost hear her brain ticking over.

“I mean…it doesn’t make sense,” I stammer. “Why now?”

“Oh…” She gasps as if having some kind of revelation.

“What?”

“He wants to buy you.”

“What?” I frown.

“He wants to ensure you never talk so that his new wife never finds out about his illegitimate children.”

That idea rolls around in my brain, that doesn’t sound like him. “I don’t know…”

“Think about it, why else would he be coming now? How would he have found out now if he didn’t know all along?”

My eyes widen. “You think he’s known all along?”

“I don’t know, but this is fucking suspicious if you ask me.”

“What if he tries to take them?” I whisper as I begin to panic. “What if he wants custody?”

“He won’t.”

“What if he takes me to court, I don’t have the money he does to pay for fancy lawyers.”

“He won’t,” she says. “Trust me, he’s coming to make sure you never talk.”

“You think?”

“I know.”

Fear fills me. “Deb…”

“It’s okay, Grace. Relax. Panicking is not going to help. You are their mother; he can’t show up here and take them, that’s not how it works. The courts are not going to give custody to an absent workaholic.”

I nod, feeling a little better. “You’re right.”

“He didn’t want to see you again, he told you that point blank. You went to tell him and he refused to see you, you are not in the wrong here.”

“I should have called him and let him know I was pregnant. I knew it back then and I still know it now.”

“He would have made you terminate the pregnancy,” she whispers angrily. “He already told you it was going nowhere and that he wanted nothing more to do with you. You’ve done the right thing, you told everyone that it was a donor sperm pregnancy. You want nothing from him and you could have taken him for millions. Billions, even.”

“You’re right.” I feel a little more empowered. “I’m overreacting, aren’t I?”

“Probably not, but I don’t think it’s the scenario that you think it is.”

I hear someone’s voice in the background on Deb’s phone. “You go back to your wedding. Sorry to bother you.”

“It’s going to be fine, Gracie. I’ll be home Tuesday.”

“Okay.” I hang on the line, not wanting to get off the phone.

“Love you, bye.” She hangs up and the crowd cheers. I turn back to the game as I feel a little of my equilibrium return.

This is all fine…fine, fine, totally fine.

They say that no news is good news, I only wish that were true.

A storm is coming…

I can feel it brewing all the way from New York.

I glance over to Lucy and Dom as they lie on the couch, watching television.

Happily oblivious to their mother’s inner turmoil.

It’s Sunday night, and I don’t know what to do next. I haven’t heard a word from Gabriel since he left here yesterday morning.

Should I call him…?

I glance over at my two precious babies lying top to toe on the couch, a blanket over them, so oblivious to everything. I need to make sure that’s how it stays. They cannot be affected by any of this, I won’t drag them through it.

I’ll call Gabriel tomorrow and ask him to meet. This needs to be amicable between us. He’s getting married soon and he can move on with her and have children of their own and live happily ever after in their penthouse in New York.

But I need to make something absolutely clear with them from the beginning.

These children are mine.

“Come on, guys.” I pack up the school lunches and put them into their bags. “Let’s roll.” Monday mornings are always hectic, but when you haven’t slept for two nights, they are especially chaotic. I bundle everyone’s backpacks onto their backs and we walk out the front door. I stop on the spot.

A black car is sitting in my driveway.

The driver gives me a stifled smile and gets out of the car and stands beside it.

Fuck.

Acting cool as a cucumber, I walk down the front steps and unlock my car. “Jump in the car, guys.”

“Who’s that?” Dom asks.

“My friend. Get in the car.” I open the backseat door and wait as they climb in. I slam the door shut and walk over to the man. “Can I help you?”

“Hello, Miss Porter.” He smiles. “My name is Benson, I’m here…” He seems nervous. “Mr. Ferrara sent me, I have a doctor in the backseat accompanying me.”

I glance down and can’t see into the car through the blacked-out windows. “What are you doing here?”

“Mr. Ferrara has instructed us to carry out paternity tests.” He gives me an awkward smile.

What?

“No.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean no, what else could I possibly mean?”

“Miss Porter, I strongly advise that you go ahead with this.”

“And I strongly advise you to keep out of my business. My children have school today and will not be taking any such tests.”

“Just one moment.” He dials a number on his phone. “Hello.” He turns away from me so that I can’t hear what he’s saying, but I still can. “She said no.” He listens for a moment. “I’m not sure…”

“Is that Gabriel on the phone?” I ask.

He nods.

I walk over and snatch the phone from him. “Listen here, you self-centered son of a bitch.” I sneer. “You stay the hell away from me and my children. If you dare come to my property again without an appointment, I will call the police quicker than you can say the words restraining order.” I hang up the phone and pass it back to him. “Goodbye, Benson.” I get into my car and pull out of the driveway.

Fuck you.