Chapter Entry 40
The next morning, I woke to the sun peeping through the floor-to-ceiling shades. My eyes lingered on the still, naked form before me. Mia’s cool skin felt magnetic against mine. I watched the slight rise and fall of her chest, her angelic face. She looked tranquil, calm, everything I pretended to be.
My fingers moved to graze her cheek lightly. I could feel her stir. Her eyes met mine.
“Good morning,” I muttered.
“Good morning,” she cooed. “How are you feeling?”
I swallowed the visions of Annie down. “I’m fine,” I moaned, rising to avoid the conversation. I grabbed my long black silk robe and draped it over me.
“What did Landon say again last night?” I asked Mia who still lay in bed.
“He said he would come to this location at eight,” she stated again.
“And you will?” I baited.
“I will let him in.”
“Good,” I erred, through the bathroom wall, gazing at myself in the mirror.
I had yet to hear from Ryan, which to be honest, wasn’t sure was a good sign or bad. Since Nadine hijacked the cameras, Shadow wouldn’t be watching my every move anymore. At least for now.
Mia’s body came around the bathroom wall. “What are you doing?” She smiled.
“Oh, my usual routine of staring at myself in the mirror for far too long.” I grinned.
“I would stare too if I looked like you.”
“You are more beautiful than me,” I beamed, pulling her into me. We held one another for a moment. She felt so good, like Annie.
“Allow me to fix us breakfast,” I squeezed her tight, kissing her forehead.
“Fine,” she huffed. I turned to walk out of the room.
“Alex,” she called. I stopped.
“Can I read the other files?”
I cringed, not turning to face her.
“If that would make you feel better than do it,” I muttered, continuing down the stairs.
My heart was in my throat. The more that new the truth, the more reality sunk in.
I made my way around the kitchen, cutting fruit that somehow stayed ripe, also pulling out the cereal and milk. I waited patiently, but Mia didn’t come down. I twiddled my fingers, drumming the counter. I could feel the anxiety surface.
I grabbed one of the vials from the counter and tossed several in my mouth. Screw it. Why stop there. I lurched to the closet, pulling out whatever supplies I could, duct tape, rope, anything. We needed to be prepared to leave at a moment’s notice after tonight. I laid out the ammo and other supplies. I went through the kitchen, pulling out any nonperishables and the last three bottles of acid just in case.
Mia still hadn’t come down. I raced up the stairs and swung open the barn door. She was sitting at the desktop computer and I heard it before I saw it. It was Dr. Marlo and the simulation with Annie. I gulped. Annie was right there. Directly in front of me.
“Turn it off,” I rasped. Mia turned.
“Turn it off,” my voice grew.
“I’m sorry,” Mia hesitated. “That was cruel.”
“Where did you get this?” I seethed.
“Nadine gave it to me when you stormed upstairs yesterday.” Mia looked ashamed.
“And you didn’t think to give it to me before opening it yourself?” I could feel the tremble in my fists.
“I’m sorry,” she muttered. “You were already distraught when I came up and didn’t want to add fuel to the fire.”
“What else is on there?” I berated.
" The training, torture, murders, Nadine. It was like they recorded your every move…”
My eyes widened. The rage at Mia suddenly redirected. I knew they had eyes on me, but to actually see it, to see the eyes in the sky looking down on me as if I was a hamster in a cage.
“This doesn’t define you.” Mia rose from the chair and stepped to me. “This defines you.” She pointed to my head. “And this,” to my heart.
Right now, I didn’t have one of those. My blood boiled. Lucky for me, the pills had control.
“Breakfast is ready downstairs. I’ll be down in a second.” I motioned for her to leave. Mia took the cue and silently headed down the steps.
I ejected the drive and then punched the computer screen, ripping the keyboard from the desk and chucked it across the room. It smashed heavily against the wall. I stood in the empty room, the room Shadow provided. They owned the bed, walls, tv, even the designer clothes in the closet. They owned me. For now.