Chapter 72
Flair
POV
"Are you prepared for what you might lose if you win?" the old man had asked and I had known, instinctively what he was really asking, even as Charlotte and Grayson had looked at him dumbly, confused by the simple question.
By winning the company, they risked losing us. By winning, Grayson risked losing me. That was what the Grandfather had meant and yet, neither Charlotte nor Grayson had realized the true extent of what the Grandfather was alluding to. I didn't know if it was heartbreaking or if I was being sentimental over nothing. After all, hadn't I known what I was signing up for when I agreed to this marriage? What right did I have to want to change the conditions now?
My mood was downcast. Forced to watch as my ex-husband married the woman he had an affair with behind my back, could hardly be called inspirational. It had felt like a knife was thrust into my chest when they uttered the words 'I do" and the deliberate way Charlotte had looked at me, had been smug and victorious. As though to tell me she had won. She had no idea what I was thinking. Yes, it had hurt to see Johnathon marry someone else and yes, I was filled with nostalgia as I watched them speak the words and the vows but I was also filled with regret.
Regret that I had married a man with such loose morals and ethics. Regret that I had married a man who had not treasured me for the diamond I truly was. Three years spent doting on somebody who did not reciprocate my feelings. Bittersweet memories had entered my mind, of a fresh-faced and eager Flair who had been so excited to marry Johnathon in the past, to this Flair who was no longer confused about what love truly felt like. As I stared at Johnathon, I felt nothing. I felt the hurt and the pain fade, the bitterness leave me. All that was left was regret for the last three years. I was able to finally let go of the past and say goodbye to the man who had no idea of how little he had changed my life in the time we spent together.
Charlotte Deluca could have Johnathon Rourke, I thought satisfied. She could have him and she could keep him. Perhaps they might have a better marriage than we had, I wished her luck. But I suspected that once a cheater, always a cheater. Leapords did not change their spots and Charlotte was not the easygoing type of woman to live with. I glanced out the window of the car as it sped along, feeling emotional.
Grayson's words from earlier still stung. His callousness in making me come here, the cold way he had spoken to me. It hurt. His words had the ability to make it feel like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. My eyes shimmered with unshed tears. As it was Grayson sat beside me, a frown permanently on his face. He wasn't speaking either. It was silent in the limo, the driver glancing over his shoulder occasionally and frowning to himself. "Flair" Grayson spoke, ending the silence as I turned to face him, my expression stony.
He looked concerned. "About earlier" he began.
I interrupted "You mean when you reminded me about the contract and how I agreed to help you, no matter what?" I gave a bitter laugh "I remember Grayson, trust me, I remember."
He looked frustrated "I didn't mean what I said, or the way I said it" he tried apologizing "I think you did Grayson. I think you meant exactly what you said" I told him miserably, as he sat there, stiff as a board "And you're right" I added, seeing the crestfallen look on his face "I should never have forgotten that this was a contract marriage. Thank you for reminding me" I said bitterly.
He exhaled "Flair it's not like that..." he trailed off.
I hunched my shoulders. He touched me and I flinched. "Damnit Flair" he growled and I felt his hands gripping both sides of my face and turned my head to face him "Listen to me" he barked "What I said was mean and callous. I shouldn't have said that to you. Yes we have a contract," he said it softly as I tried not to glare at him "but you're so much more than that. This marriage, it's better than what I thought it could be" he tried to explain while I stared "and I don't want us to be angry at each other. I don't like you angry at me" he said "and I don't like seeing you so upset. I should never have made you go to that ceremony today."
He let go of me, looking out the window moodily. "Yes, you should have" I blurted out, glaring at him "I'm glad I went." He looked shocked. "You're glad?" he stammered "but you begged not to go."
"So I was worried about how I would behave seeing my ex-husband marry that tart," I said icily "but you know what? If I hadn't gone, I would never have realized something important like I did today." His eyes fixated on me "What would that be?" he asked looking a little shell-shocked.
"I realized that I don't have feelings for that ex-husband of mine anymore. I'm not even angry at him anymore" I confessed as Grayson's eyes began to brighten "I just feel regret for the years I spent with a man who never truly loved me for who I was." "But you were upset" he protested thickly, neither of us noticing the limousine had stopped in the driveway.
"I was nostalgic. I remembered how excited I was to get married and how much hope I had for the future" I told him with a shake of my head "so I got a little upset. It's difficult to admit that you were wrong or that what you felt for your ex-husband isn't how you imagined love should feel."
"So you aren't upset about Johnathon's marriage to Charlotte?" Grayson confirmed.
"She can have him," I said bluntly "I've never seen two people more deserving of each other. He's selfish and so is she. She's vain and he cares about appearances. They are a match made in heaven and they don't even know it. The only thing that shocked me about today was that Charlotte agreed to a courthouse wedding" I said blithely, causing Grayson to fling his head back and chuckle out loud.
"I think she's desperate" he confessed "She wants that company badly."
"Grayson" my voice was soft, my expression knowing as I looked at him "You want the company just as badly though, don't you?"
I held my breath. Foolish as it was, part of me wanted him to deny it, to tell me that I was more important. But I had asked the question and while he hesitated, I knew instinctively what his answer was going to be. I could not even be angry with him. "I do," Grayson said in a low voice "It was one of many reasons I chose to be married."
My lips curved into a small smile, even as I fought back the tears. Don't cry, Flair, not now. Later, when you're alone, you can cry.
"Then I'm under the assumption that you want to start on the other condition as well," I said helplessly.
Confusion warred with indecision for a moment before it registered. "Actually" he shifted uncomfortably on his seat "there is every likelihood that you might already be pregnant" he pointed out "We haven't been using protection and we haven't taken note of dates or ovulation periods."
I blushed. He put a hand to the back of his neck looking sheepish. "I was going to address this with you sooner or later," he said apologetically "but when do you think you might find out for certain?"
Oh gods. He was asking that! I blushed a bright red as I floundered for the answer. It was not something I was accustomed to divulging and I wracked my memory, trying to remember when I was due for my menses next.
"I'm due in the next day or so," I said softly.
"Then we wait and see what the result is," he said nonchalantly.
Of course. If I wasn't pregnant, we would just try again. I tried not to feel like a brooding mare but the comparison was still
in the back of my mind as I reached for the door and Grayson promptly beat me to it, scrambling out and offering my hand. I gave him a weak smile and got out, smoothing down my dress.
"You look beautiful by the way" Grayson murmured.
"Thank you," I said automatically, while still thinking about dates in my mind.
Could I be pregnant? I hadn't exhibited any signs or felt anything different the last few days. I glanced down at my flat stomach and sighed, even as Grayson took my hand and led me to the door. Rachel opened it and Roscoe came bounding out, almost knocking me flat on my ass. He wagged his tail enthusiastically.
"He was so good" Rachel enthused as Grayson knelt to pat the dog as well "But he might have eaten one or two of your shoes" she added guiltily as I giggled.
"Thank you," I told her as she reached over and hugged me, Roscoe bounding back indoors "Can you stay for a drink or..?"
She gave me a grin "Actually I'm meeting Timothy for a date, so can I take a raincheck?"
"Absolutely," I said with a laugh, as she began to head back in and grab her stuff "Say hello for me, would you? That is" I said in a lower tone as she came back to the door "if you leave the bed."
"Ssshh" she hissed, swatting at me and laughing, before skipping to the car.
"Good luck" I yelled and then shut the door, turning around to see that Grayson was already on the phone and Roscoe was waiting for me.
"I guess it's just you and me" I sighed, patting him "At least I can hound Rachel for the deets of her date tomorrow" I added with a grin as Roscoe barked and wagged his tail in agreement. "Who knows, maybe I'll have some news for her as well," I thought but it was hardly likely. Didn't you have to be a few days late, before you could discover you were pregnant?