[Book 2] Chapter 89
lan POV
I adjust my collar again, feeling slightly apprehensive as I stare towards the doorway of the flat, an expectant expression on my face. I had taken special care to get ready this morning, wearing a slightly dressier shirt and dark khaki pants with shoes which I knew looked good with my eyes and hair. I felt a bit foolish dressing up just to see Dawn, but then again, I hadn't wanted to see her dressed like a slob either. A smile hovered on my lips as I remembered her diving into my arms yesterday, the way she had felt as she leaned against me and I could feel my chest tightening in response. Even though I had only known her for a few days, Dawn had a way of making my days seem brighter and of making me feel less sorry for myself. I even had the new motorized wheelchair which had been delivered late yesterday and was now charged and ready to go.
The door burst open and I blinked as a haphazard, disheveled Dawn came rushing in, holding the hand of a little girl. She looked frantic. I blinked, taken aback. The little girl was a miniature replica of Dawn. Right down to the hair and the big blue eyes that were staring at me as Dawn put her things down on the couch and turned to me flustered. The little girl was adorable, I thought, as she smiled at me, putting her thumb in her mouth.
"I'm so sorry" Dawn began to apologize, running a hand through her hair "my mother is supposed to watch Faith for me but she's sick and I didn't have anyone else to ask. I understand if you want me to go...." she trailed off uncertainly. Faith waved a chubby little hand at me. "Hi," she chirped.
Unbidden a smile curved on my lips. It was impossible not to instantly feel smitten with this young girl. "Hi Faith," I said softly as she let go of her mother's hand, her thumb from the other hand still in her mouth, and wandered over to me, her eyes shining and fascinated as she patted my legs.
"Faith" Dawn blurted out.
"It's okay," I said gruffly, picking the little girl up as she giggled and sitting her on my lap so she could examine the different buttons and controls for the wheelchair.
"You can stay and Faith. I'm sure you're still capable of working even with her here" I said as Dawn nodded apologetically. Faith touched my cheek while Dawn gave me a wary glance, before slowly entering the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Faith began to look at my hands and then at my watch. She wriggled off me and then went into the kitchen with her mother, helping her carry things back and forth to the table. I wheeled my chair over and Dawn quickly put Faith between us, serving me and her daughter first. Faith giggled and began to bite into the French toast, offering me some, which I was happy to shake my head and refuse.
"I have some," I told her pointing, causing the little girl to giggle some more.
That laugh. It was like music. I had always liked children. They saw things differently to adults and they weren't as biased or judgemental. They had an innocence, a purity, that made them impossible to resist. Their laughter was like music to the ears. "I'm so sorry" Dawn apologized again, as Faith popped a strawberry into her mouth.
"Dawn relax, it's okay," I said, genuinely meaning it.
I would never get angry over a mother needing to care for her child. I might be a bit ornery at times, but I wasn't going to take my anger out on an innocent child. As if understanding what I was thinking about, Faith leaned over and hugged my arm, causing my heart to skip a beat. Children. I had often given thought to having some but after the accident with my college girlfriend, I had been told in no uncertain terms that I was most likely infertile and unable to have any. The news on top of her death had been gutwrenching and I had paid to have that kept confidential, keeping my father unaware of my inability to father children. I had confided in Knox, but he was the only other person to know. He was the only person I would trust with my secret. "This is lan Faith" Dawn told her daughter.
Faith blinked up at me innocently "lan" she said.
Tears threatened to come to the surface. Damn. This little girl had me wrapped around her little finger. The only other child who had me feeling like this was Flair's child Hunter, my nephew and I was fairly certain when Knox's arrived that I would be lost to that child as well. Dawn quietly sipped her coffee while Faith mimicked her with a cup of milk, causing me to smile at the two of them who resembled each other so closely. I struggled to maintain a straight face as I drank my coffee.
"Gods I needed that" Dawn yawned looking tired "Faith had a sleepless night last night and I'm tired" she yawned again.
"Do you need to go home?" I asked, glancing at her in concern.
She shook her head "Nope, I'm here to work, aren't we Faith?"
The little girl nodded and then picked up some of my toast with her fork and proceeded to feed me with it. "Faith helps," she said as I grinned at her.
This girl was going to be a heartbreaker when she was fully grown. No doubt about it.
I finished my coffee and Dawn got up and started the dishes. Faith got out of her chair and ran to a backpack I hadn't noticed before, grabbing something out of it and returning it to me. She sat back on the chair and showed me it. It was a coloring book and a pencil case full of pencils. "Color in?" she asked me eagerly.
It took me a minute to grasp that she wanted me to color in with her. She handed me a pencil and then opened the book to a page, beginning to color in, while I proceeded to do the same, bringing a wide smile to her face. We continued exchanging pencils, with Faith being the one choosing the colors and soon enough I lost track of time, becoming engrossed in the coloring in, while the little girl sat beside me, happily coloring and scribbling away.
I was startled when Dawn cleared her throat "That's a beautiful picture baby" she said to Faith who beamed at her. Faith pointed at me "lan helped" she said as I flushed.
Dawn grinned "lan did a very good job with the coloring, didn't he" she said as I tried not to glare at her.
Faith nodded. Dawn clapped her hands as Faith began to pack away the coloring pencils and put her book back in the backpack. "Right well, we should do some physical therapy exercises or...."
But I was busy looking at Faith. It seemed a shame to stay cooped up inside on such a beautiful day when it was warm and sunny. The little girl was going to be bored senseless. I surprised Dawn when I interrupted her "Why don't we go outside? I'm sure Faith could maybe throw a ball around or smell the flowers. It has to be nicer than being stuck inside."
Dawn's eyes widened. I winked at Faith who was bouncing up and down excitedly. "Well, um, if you're sure," she said a little uncertainly, glancing at her daughter who was practically vibrating with excitement.
"Outside" cheered Faith, bolting for the door.
I chuckled and wheeled myself outside as she ran for the nearby flowers and across the grass, a hasty Dawn closing the door behind us. I sat at the table outside and watched as Faith began to run back and forth with exuberance. "She can be a little much" Dawn laughed, the sun's rays shining brightly down on her hair "but I wouldn't have it any other way."
I could see the love in her eyes as she started at Faith. It made me feel slightly jealous. Faith spread her arms out and began to chase a butterfly, shrieking at the top of her lungs, causing me to wince while Dawn giggled.
"Good god, my poor ears" I heard my father's voice before he came walking over, an indulgent smile on his face "Is that your daughter Dawn?" he asked pleasantly.
"Yes," Dawn said "I'm so sorry but..." she began to hastily apologize, looking stricken.
"She couldn't get a sitter, but I told her it's fine," I said to my father who was already nodding in agreement "Dawn can still do her job perfectly well while watching Faith at the same time."
"She's gorgeous," my father said, joining us at the table "It's lovely to hear such laughter."
Dawn grinned "You say that, but wait until she screams" she teased.
My father chuckled. His dalmation poked his head out and Faith let out a scream that made all of us jump. "Told you" Dawn laughed as the dog came walking out, speeding towards my father who picked him up. Faith was like a speeding rocket as she made a beeline for my father, her eyes fixated on Patches. My father smiled at her with twinkling eyes as she paused in front of him and looked at the dog.
"Hello Faith," he said warmly "Would you like to pat my dog?" he asked and she nodded, her eyes shining brightly.
He gently picked up her hand and placed it on Patches who wriggled on my father's lap and then licked her hand as she patted him, making her giggle hysterically.
"Puppy" Faith giggled "Pretty puppy."
It wasn't so much a puppy as a small dog now, but my father tended to keep treating him like a puppy.
Patches licked her face and she squealed, hugging him as my father chuckled and put the dog down, Patches beginning to explore the grass with Faith in hot pursuit, my father keeping a close eye on the both of them.
"She's always wanted a dog" Dawn's smile was wistful "but we've never had the space or the time for one. Thank you for this" she added, looking at my father and then at me meaningfully.
"Don't mention it, I love children, and so does lan" my father says casually as Dawn eyes me consideringly "I consider myself a fortunate man. I have one grandchild already, one on the way and god willing" he looks at me with a raised brow and a wide smile "I'll have a third one from my last son to complete the circle."
I gritted my teeth and bowed my head, unable to look him in the eye. I should have told him the truth years ago but it was too late now. My father could continue to hope for that grandchild from me, but the reality was that it was never going to happen. Not in a million years, unless a miracle happened and that was something too far from the real of possibilities for me to even contemplate.