SWNOVELS The Billionaire’s Big Bold Weakness: Chapter 7
‘Jax, what is this?’ I ask, gaping at the mansion sprawled out in front of us. The entire front of the place is lit up. Strategically placed lights in the landscaped yard light it up too. The grounds are incredible, with acres of green grass and massive trees. The house looks more like a palace than a home. The mansion is a Gothic revival, with actual parapets shooting skyward and ornate decoration. There are windows everywhere. It’s absolutely gorgeous.
It sits on the edge of a neighborhood in Nashville, not far from Vanderbilt University. Every other house in the area is just as big and beautiful. Radnor Lake is a five-minute walk from here.
‘You wanted to know where I live now,’ he murmurs, running a hand down my arm as the driver pulls to a stop outside the front doors.
I go from gaping at the house to gaping at Jax. I think I’ve spent most of the last two hours staring at him in shock. After he bought me tacos, he took me to an airstrip where we boarded a private plane. Our flight lasted a little less than an hour. We touched down in Nashville thirty minutes ago, but I feel like I’m still in the air, floating along on cloud nine.
I knew he was a billionaire, but I don’t think I realized until just now exactly what that means for him. And I guess for me too now that we’re finally together. Luxury like this is foreign to me. Jax and Cyrus have always spoiled me, but this is on an entirely different level.
‘You live in Nashville now? Since when? How? Why?‘
‘Because the woman I love will be spending the next two years in Nashville,’ he says, reaching for my hand as the driver jogs around to open the car door for us. ‘Come on. Let me show you the place, and then you can ask me as many questions as you want to ask me.’
I huff quietly because I kind of want answers now, but I can tell by the stubborn glint in his eye that he’s not going to give me what I want yet. He wants to do this his way because he’s a bossy pants man. And I love him anyway. He loves me anyway.
‘You love me,’ I whisper, awe coursing through me all over again.
‘From the moment I met you, rabbit.’ He pulls me out of the limo, keeping me close to his side.
I gawk at the house while he speaks quietly with the driver. The mansion truly is beautiful. And big enough to house an entire army. Jeez. How many rooms does this place have? It definitely has more than one bathroom.
‘Come on,’ Jax murmurs, slipping his hand into mine again. He leads me up the wide stairs. The porch wraps all the way around the front of the house, with thick, ornate columns spaced every few feet.
The door is big enough for both of us to fit through it at the same time, with room to spare. My mouth pops open again as soon as we’re over the threshold. I instantly fall in love with the house. The floors are gorgeous hardwood that shine as brightly in the chandelier light as the bar where I work shines in the sunlight. The ceilings are high enough to require a ladder to reach them. A staircase winds its way upward.
A living room sits off to the right. Plush furniture and thick rugs give it a cozy, inviting feel. The warm colors and soft lighting make it feel more like a home and less like a mansion. It’s definitely a man’s house though. The television is ginormous.
‘It’s so beautiful,’ I whisper to Jax, feeling a little dazed.
‘It’s the one house Concord owned that I didn’t hate on sight,’ he admits. ‘It’s ostentatious, but it feels like a home. Everything else was cold and impersonal.’
‘Did he live here?’
‘Never stepped foot inside.’
‘Oh.’
‘I want you to live here with me, rabbit,’ he whispers, turning me to face him. His mocha eyes meet mine, his expression deadly serious. He looks so handsome in his suit, so grave. ‘I want this place to be your home.’
‘You want me to move in with you?’
He nods, his gaze flitting across my face. ‘If you hate this place, I’ll find us something else. But I want you with me. Leaving you last night was hard as hell. I didn’t sleep at all.’
‘I didn’t sleep well either,’ I confess.
He gives me a tiny smile.
‘You’ve been planning this for a while?’
He nods.
‘For me?’
He nods again.
‘How long?’ I ask, genuinely curious.
‘Since the second I agreed to step in as CEO of the company,’ he says, his gritty voice whisper quiet. ‘I knew then that I could afford to give you all the things you deserve. The night I tried to kiss you, I planned to tell you how I felt about you.’
‘I guess I messed that up, huh?’
‘No,’ he says, tugging me into his arms. ‘I’m not saying I like that you ran from me, but I shouldn’t have come to you the way I did. You deserved for me to be sober. After you ran, I promised myself that I’d get everything together first, and then I’d make you fall in love with me.’
‘I was already in love with you.’
‘Lucky me,’ he whispers, pressing a lingering kiss to my lips. Before I can wrap myself around him, he breaks it. ‘Come on. Let me show you the place.’
I slip my hand into his, letting him lead me from room to room. The kitchen is ridiculously huge. It instantly becomes my favorite place in the house. I could cook enough for an army in there and still have room. There are two stoves. And I’m pretty sure the pantry is bigger than my bedroom.
Every time we move to a new room, I find something else to love. Like the reading nook tucked away in the corner of the library. Or the giant whirlpool tub in the master bathroom. Or the massive four poster bed that dominates the master bedroom. Or the little room that lets off to the right of the bedroom.
‘I was thinking this could be the nursery,’ Jax murmurs, wrapping his arms around me from behind as I stand in the doorway of the little room. There’s nothing in it, but it would make a great nursery. He nuzzles his face into my throat, planting sweet little kisses all up and down the sensitive skin beneath my ear. ‘We’ll be able to keep the babies close.’
‘You say that like we’re already expecting one,’ I say, smiling. Every time he brings up babies, my stomach flutters. I never thought I could have this with him. When he told me that he never wanted to mess up a kid’s life, my heart broke into tiny pieces. They’re finally stitching themselves back together, and it’s like I’m living in one of my dreams. Only in this one, I know exactly what his body feels like pressed to mine, and how gritty his voice gets when he’s turned on. I know what he tastes like and how soft his lips feel against mine.
I don’t have to pinch myself to know this is reality. In my dreams, I never knew how he tasted or exactly what it felt like to have his arms around me. This is a full sensory experience, unmistakably real.
‘We will be soon.’ He nips my throat. ‘As soon as you agree to marry me, I plan to strip you down and make love to you, rabbit.’
‘Jax,’ I gasp, spinning around to face him. My heart slams against my ribcage. My hands shake. ‘What? Are you serious?’
A brilliant smile overtakes his face, little hints of mischief dancing in his eyes.
I gasp again, bringing my hands to my mouth when he immediately drops to his knees in front of me, reaching into his pocket.
‘Oh my god,’ I whisper, stunned.
‘Marry me, rabbit,’ he says, pulling a ring out of his pocket.
Seeing it brings tears to my eyes. It’s my mom’s ring. Diamonds surround the pear cut sapphire on a delicate platinum band. My mom always said my dad liked the way the sapphire matched her eyes. I don’t know how Jax knew I always dreamed of wearing it on my finger someday.
‘Jax,’ I whisper, tears spilling down my cheeks.
‘I went to see your mom this morning to ask her permission,’ he says, reaching for my hand. ‘She went with me to the cemetery to talk to your dad.’
I sob his name this time.
‘Don’t know if he’d approve of me for you, but I do know no one will ever love you more than I do, Jessa. No one will ever protect you like I will, or worship you like I do. You’re the best thing in my life, the only thing I want. I’d give up every single bit of this and still die happy if I had you. Marry me.’
‘Yes,’ I sob, throwing myself into his arms right there on the floor.
‘Fuck,’ he whispers, clutching me to his chest. He buries his face in my hair, exhaling a shaky breath. ‘You’re marrying me.’
‘I am,’ I whisper.
He exhales another shaking breath. His entire body is trembling beneath mine, making it clear he wants this as badly as I do. I’ve always been so damn afraid to hope, thinking someone like him could never want someone like me, that he could never love me as much as I do him. But he does. Somehow, he’s really mine.
He composes himself long enough to slip my mom’s ring on my finger. Emotion flares bright as the sun in his eyes. He lifts my hand to his lips, pressing them to my ring and then to the back of my hand. I’ve never seen him look as happy as he does right now, as satisfied as he does. It practically blazes in his eyes, that rich mocha color and the golden flecks scattered throughout turning darker.
‘Jax,’ I whimper as a blast of heat hits me. One minute, I’m crying happy tears. The next, my entire body is aching. And it hurts. God, it hurts everywhere. I squirm around, trying to relieve the ache, but it only makes it worse. It’s as if seeing that look in his eyes brought four long years of need racing to the surface all at once.
‘Fuck,’ he curses, letting me know that he feels it too. He wraps his arms around me and rises to his feet. If moving me is hard, he doesn’t show it. He makes it seem effortless, as if he doesn’t notice my extra weight at all. His grip is possessive, his rough hands holding me like he’s afraid I may turn to smoke and disappear.
I won’t. There’s nothing in the world that could take me from him now. He had my heart long ago. He’s had my trust since I met him. Now I’m his completely, every cell in me branded with his name. I’m clinging to him with both hands. Forever.
He thrusts one hand into my hair, gripping it tight. He uses it to pull my head back. It feels so good I moan out loud. Another bolt of white-hot desire rips through me. His mocha eyes meet mine, and then his lips are on mine.
His kiss is full of possession, of ownership. It’s hard and dark and deep. He growls against my lips, licking into my mouth as if he intends to taste every single part of me. It’s as if having my ring on his finger has set free his obsession, given it a safe place to grow. I feel it in the way he runs his hand over my ass, and in the way he bites my lip.
This is the beast that looks at me like I’m dinner, the man who’s been as desperate for me as I have been for him. He doesn’t simply kiss me this time. He consumes me, leaves me gasping for breath and trembling for more at the same time.
He backs me up step by step, stopping between each one to kiss me again. Little rumbles start in his chest, vibrating against my lips. His touch grows harder, more demanding. I run my hands all over him, trying to touch him everywhere at the same time.
He helps me work his suit jacket off. We leave it in a heap on the floor.
His tie follows, yanked free and discarded where we stand.
‘Slow, baby,’ he croons when I try to get his buttons undone with uncoordinated, needy fingers. He grabs my hands, stilling them. Before I can protest, he squeezes them and then releases them to work through his buttons himself. Unlike me, he’s able to get them undone quickly.
My legs tremble as the silky white fabric parts, revealing tantalizing peeks of his golden skin. I knew Jax was ripped. I was not prepared for the reality of it. His upper body is sculpted from rock hard muscle, his golden skin flawless. His upper body is littered with tattoos I’ve never seen before now.
The large tattoo along his ribcage catches my eye. A small white rabbit sits in a field of grass, staring up at the wolf standing over it. The wolf seems…protector more than predator. It only takes one look for me to know it’s me and him. Us.
‘Jax,’ I whisper in awe, tracing my fingers over it. ‘When did you get this?’
‘A while ago,’ he mutters.
‘When?’
‘Three years ago.’ His eyes meet mine, a quiet vulnerability in them that makes my heart race and flutter at the same time. He’s worried what I’ll think. ‘The first time I was deployed after meeting you.’
I stare at him, shocked. If ever I needed proof that he’s always felt the same way about me…it’s standing in front of me. The full weight of his love settles over me like a warm blanket. From day one, he’s been right there with me. I was just too blind, too afraid to see it.
‘It’s beautiful,’ I whisper, holding his gaze, letting him see how much I love it.
His relieved smile fills my heart with warmth.
‘I have to show you something,’ I murmur, taking a step back when he reaches for me again. I grab the hem of my dress, which makes his nostrils flare and his eyes heat. I take a quick breath, fighting back the instinct to keep myself covered.
My body is far from perfect. My thighs are thick. My belly isn’t flat. I have stretch marks. Part of me wants to hide those flaws from him. I think that’s the part of me conditioned by society to feel as if I should hide my body, as if it’s something to feel shame over. That’s the part that says a man who looks like him could never find beauty in someone who looks like me.
The rest of me rebels against the side, refusing to let the opinions of others have a place here. I may never be what society says I should be, but I will never be less than beautiful to Jax. To him, I’m perfect exactly the way I am.
‘Fucking hell,’ he breathes, palming his erection through his pants when I rip the dress off over my head in one quick move, knocking my glasses askew.
I push them back into place.
His eyes run all over my body, not missing anything. The heat coming from him grows more intense, his gaze turning predatory, feral.
I hook a finger into the side of my panties and pull them down slightly to show him what I wanted him to see.
‘I got it when you were deployed the first time,’ I whisper, standing still as his gaze settles on the small tattoo on my hip. It’s an anchor with a rope wrapped around it. A trident is looped through the bottom points of the anchor. It’s part of the SEALs symbol, no bigger than a couple of inches. ‘I wanted to keep a piece of you with me.’
‘Jesus,’ he whispers.
‘It probably sounds silly, but I liked to think that, so long as I had that little piece of you with me, you would always have to come home safely,’ I murmur. ‘Nothing could hurt you because part of you was here with me.’ I have one for Cyrus too, something to keep a piece of him safe. But it’s this one that I’ve always kept hidden away, guarding it closely. Gwen is the only one who knew about it until now.
‘Come here,’ Jax says, holding out a hand to me.
I unhook my finger from the waistband of my panties and hold it out to him. He reels me in, not stopping until we’re chest to chest. Feeling his naked skin against mine is heaven. The inferno inside me blazes brighter, burns hotter.
Jax walks me backward toward the bed with his hands on my hips, and then helps me lay back. My legs dangle over the side. He helps me pull them up onto the bed, laying me out in the center of it. I squeeze them together, shivering at the way he stands over me, staring down at me and palming his cock through his pants.
He stares at my body while he finishes undressing. I watch him just as shamelessly, eager to see all of him. He’s cut from marble head to toe, miles of golden skin over sinew and bulky muscle. There’s not an ounce of fat on him. When his pants hit the floor, I gulp. Even with his boxers on, his erection is massive, as physically intimidating as the rest of him.
I want to feel him inside me so badly though. More than I want to breathe.
He pulls his boxers down and his erection springs free.
I whimper, squeezing my legs together again as another bolt of lust rips through me. He is…Lord, he’s beautiful everywhere. His erection juts from a thatch of dark curls, so hard it looks painful. He’s thicker than my wrist, the head red and glistening with moisture. Deep purple veins run down the length of his shaft. His balls hang heavy beneath.
My mouth waters at the sight of him. I want to taste him. I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to take him into my mouth.
‘You thinking about tasting me, rabbit?’ he asks, reading me like a book when I lick my lips. He wraps one big fist around his shaft, stroking it up and down. He’s rough with himself which only seems to turn me on even more.
‘Yes,’ I whisper.
He crawls onto the bed with me, moving up close to my head.
‘Raise up,’ he murmurs, and then helps me sit up halfway. He places two pillows beneath my head, lifting me up a little in the bed. ‘You ever had anyone in your mouth before, Jessa?’
Jealousy glitters in his eyes and vibrates in his tone. I think he hates the thought of anyone touching me. Every time he asks me a question like that, he gets possessive.
‘Never,’ I say, lifting my gaze to his. ‘I’ve never touched anyone else and no one else has ever touched me. I’m just yours.’
‘Fuck,’ he rumbles, his eyes falling closed. ‘I love knowing I’m your only. The thought of anyone else touching you pisses me off.’ His eyes flash open, settling on me. There’s something hard in them, a dangerous vibe that should probably scare me but only makes me tremble in want. ‘I won’t share you. Not ever.’
‘Good. I don’t want to be shared.’ I narrow my eyes at him. ‘I won’t share either. No one else gets to touch you.’
His lips curve into a wicked grin. ‘I like you getting all territorial. It’s sexy as hell. But you don’t have anything to worry about, baby. The thought of anyone but you touching me makes my dick shrivel. He’s been hard for you and you alone since the day I met you.’
He wraps his fist around his erection again, stroking. ‘This is what you do to me, Jessa. Every day since I met you, you’ve gotten him hard enough to pound steel. I’ve been jerking my cock to fantasies of you for years.’
‘I think about you too,’ I confess on a whisper, my cheeks heating. ‘When I…touch myself. I’m always thinking about you.’
‘Yeah? You think about sucking my cock, rabbit?’
I nod.
‘You think about me eating that pretty cunt?’
I nod again, not sure I can speak. My heart pounds so hard I’m surprised he doesn’t hear it.
‘Then I’m about to make a few of your fantasies come true,’ he says. ‘As soon as I give you what you want, I’m eating that cunt until I’m satisfied.’
‘Jax,’ I moan. He’s always been blunt and to the point, but until yesterday, he never said filthy things to me. I love it so much. It’s hot as hell.
‘Open up,’ he says, running his thumb over my bottom lip before he pushes downward, making me open my mouth for him. As soon as I do, he pushes his thumb into it and then growls. ‘I already know this mouth is going to ruin me.’
Then we’re on the same page because his is already ruining me.
He moves closer to me, his cock in his hand.
I whimper when he runs the head of it over my lips. I dart my tongue out, eager to taste the moisture beading on the broad head. He growls as soon as I touch my tongue to him. Another bead of moisture spills from the slit. He’s salty and sweet at the same time, tangy.
I lick all over the head of his cock, which makes him growl my name.
He slowly presses into my mouth, feeding me his cock little by little. Having him control this is way better than I imagined it would be. His eyes are locked onto the sight of him disappearing between my lips. Mine are locked on his face and the intense look of pleasure there. He’s hot all the time, but right now, he’s some level of sexy I didn’t even know existed. His face is as carved as the rest of him, sharp planes and angles. Pleasure is stamped into every single one of them, making him look lethal.
‘Fucking hell, Jessa,’ he groans, his voice gritty, needy. He rocks his hips in shallow plunges. He’s not even halfway in, but my lips are already stretched wide around him, my mouth full of him. He’s burning hot, silky smooth, and rock hard at the same time.
I moan around his shaft, which has him sucking in a deep breath and letting it out in a strangled curse. He’s fighting hard to go slowly, but his self-control is beginning to fray. I see threads snipping loose right before my eyes. When I flick my tongue against the underside of his shaft, his eyes darken and a thread snaps. Another snaps when I tilt my head forward to take more of him. The rest of them go when I maneuver around to touch his balls.
‘Jessa,’ he growls. His grip on my face tightens. He plunges forward, forcing more of his cock into my mouth. It hits the back of my throat this time, making me gag. His eyes blaze hotter when he feels it. He backs off and then plunges forward again.
‘Your brother ever finds out how much I like you gagging on my cock, he’ll kill me,’ he mutters. It doesn’t stop him from doing it again and then again. Doesn’t stop me from loving it either. Cyrus never has to know. This is just between me and Jax.
He holds me still beneath him, thrusting in and out of my mouth. Grunts and curses fall from his lips. I have to squeeze my legs together, trying to ease the ache between them, to get friction where I need it most. It’s useless. I’m so wet and getting more so by the second.
I roll his balls between my fingers, being careful. He seems to like that because he growls my name again and threatens to spank me. I haven’t been spanked since I was a little girl. He makes me want it though. Feeling his rough hand against my bare ass sounds like heaven to me.
‘No more,’ he gasps, slipping out of my mouth.
I whine in protest, already wanting him back.
He moves like a blur, his body coming down over mine, pressing me into the mattress. I cry out, shocked at just how good it feels to have him pressed against me, holding me down with his weight. He seems to like it too. He growls my name and then takes my lips in a scorching kiss.
I cling to him, trying to get him even closer, to absorb him through osmosis so we’re one and the same, never separate. He bites my bottom lip and then breaks away to kiss a hot trail down my throat. He nips and bites me. The sting of his teeth in my skin has me clawing down his back in pleasure.
Somehow, he manages to get my bra undone in record speed. One flick of his wrist, and the front clasp is open, my breasts spilling free. He sets to work on them, moving from one to the other and then back. He’s worshipful and wicked at the same time, muttering about how much he loves them and then raking my nipple through his teeth. He smacks my right breast, sinks his teeth into the left to mark it.
I’m a puddle of mindless pleasure beneath him, completely lost to the sensations buffeting my body. They’re intense, powerful gusts of wind blowing through me in a way that keeps the pleasure building higher and higher.
‘You’re so beautiful, rabbit,’ he whispers, kissing a trail down my body. He nuzzles his face against my belly and then dips his tongue into my belly button.
I whimper when he tugs the waistband of my panties down to press his lips to the tattoo on my hip.
‘I love knowing you have a reminder of me tattooed on you,’ he says, lifting his head to look at me. He lost his glasses somewhere along the way. His mocha eyes are even more piercing without them. ‘Did you put it right next to your pussy because you knew it belonged to me, rabbit?’
‘I…’ My cheeks heat. When I chose where to put it, that wasn’t my first thought. But I can’t even lie and say I didn’t find it a little thrilling to have a reminder of him hidden away so close to where I’ve always wanted him to be.
His lips curve into another wicked smile. ‘It’ll be our little secret,’ he promises, dipping his head to kiss the tattoo again. His tongue swirls around my hipbone, scattering my thoughts all over the place. ‘No one ever has to know you touched your pretty pussy at night and pretended it was me.’
God. His mouth is going to wreck me before he even touches me there.
He plays with the band of my panties, sliding it down in increments to kiss along the top of my mound. Feeling his lips and breath on me is making me crazy. I squirm beneath him, trying to relieve the ache, but it’s a useless attempt.
‘You smell like heaven, Jessa.’ He presses his nose to my center, inhaling deeply.
I cry out, shocked and turned on. And then I cry out again when his tongue touches the seam of my panties. They’re soaked through. I know they are because I can feel how wet my thighs are.
He makes a sound I’ve never heard before now. It’s half deadly growl, half desperate sob. It’s so full of desire, of need, that my own ratchets up in response.
‘You really do taste like peaches,’ he growls, sounding mad about it. He jerks my panties down my thighs, not so controlled now. His movements are rough, jerky, like he’s as close to the edge as I am. ‘I’m going to have you on your back so I can get in this little thing every second of the day.’
I lift my hips, helping him yank my panties off.
As soon as they’re gone, he wedges his body between my legs. ‘Spread your legs. Let me see it,’ he demands, all bossy and hot and greedy.
My face heats. No one has ever looked at me down there. But I do what he says, slowly spreading my legs wider for him. He keeps his eyes locked on my center like he’s staring at the holy grail. That look is back on his face. The one that say’s he’s starving and I’m going to be dinner. It makes my womb clench, more moisture flooding between my thighs.
He uses two fingers to part my folds and then growls a string of curses. ‘All this time,’ he mumbles, speaking so quietly I’m not sure if I’m meant to hear him. ‘All this time, it was right fucking there for the taking.’
His comment makes me feel bold, brave. ‘It’s been waiting for you to claim it, Jax,’ I whisper.
His eyes meet mine, need stamped like a brand into every line of his face. Triumph flares in his eyes and then the gentle giant I know falls away, leaving behind the beast I’ve only caught glimpses of before now. And he is…Lord, he’s gorgeous.
‘Jax!’ I scream, shocked when he buries his entire face in my center with a growl that I feel all the way to my soul. He’s savage in his claiming, desperation driving him beyond gentleness to pure possession, to an obsessive need to claim me and make me submit. He holds me open to his ravaging mouth, devouring me alive.
His lips and tongue are everywhere, touching every part of me. Filthy sounds fill the room like a carnal song. His curses, the sound of his name, the wet sound of his tongue sliding through my folds, and the suction of his lips around my clit build to a crescendo.
When it crests, it pulls me under. I cry out his name as the orgasm slams into me like a wall, knocking me breathless. My body pulls taut and then every part of me starts to shake as wave after wave of pleasure toss me around.
Jax holds me down, still eating me. His growls grow louder, more triumphant. I lose sight of him, the world going momentarily black as the pleasure overwhelms me. Last night was incredible. This is some level of heavenly torture I never want to leave, never knew existed.
‘Good girl,’ he croons, pressing a kiss to my pussy when I finally slump against the bed.
I drag air into my starving lungs in greedy gulps. Tears leak from the corners of my eyes. My heart races, thundering like a million hooves striking the ground all at once.
Jax crawls up my body, kissing my belly, my sternum, and then my cheek. His mouth meets mine in a tender kiss that sends another aftershock through me. I taste myself on his lips and shiver, another little quake rippling through me.
‘I’m mad as hell it took me four years to eat you,’ he whispers, hitching my right leg up over his hip to open me up to him. His erection bumps my clit, sending me catapulting upward. It’s so sensitive, but somehow still manages to feel incredible at the same time. ‘That juicy cunt of yours is the best thing I’ve ever tasted.’
‘Jax,’ I whisper, turning my head to avoid his gaze as my cheeks heat. I can’t help it. I’ve been hiding from him for so long, it’s become instinct to not let him too close or let him see too much. Getting used to the fact that I don’t have to do that anymore is going to take a little while. Luckily, we have that now. We have the rest of our lives.
‘Don’t hide from me, Jessa,’ he says, touching his forehead to mine. ‘You don’t have to do that anymore, baby. If something I say turns you on, you tell me. If you need to get off, you come find me. I’m going to know every inch of your body and you’re going to know mine. Don’t hide from me.’
‘I like the way I taste on your lips,’ I blurt. ‘I like the dirty things you say to me. And I really like the way it feels when you’re…doing that to me.’
‘Doing what, rabbit? Say it.’
‘E-eating me.’
‘Nah, baby. Give me the words.’
‘I like the way it feels when you’re eating my pussy,’ I whisper.
‘Fuck yeah,’ he growls, rocking his hips so his erection nudges my clit again. His lips touch mine in a brief kiss. ‘There is no shame in this bed. No embarrassment. You say whatever the hell you want to say, ask me for whatever you want.’
‘Okay.’ I pause, wetting my lips with the tip of my tongue. ‘Jax? Please make love to me.’
‘Say that again.’
‘Make love to me. Please.’
‘Fuck,’ he whispers, touching his forehead to mine again. He rests it there for a moment as if he’s feeling a little overwhelmed too. ‘Dreamed about you saying that every damn day. Kiss me, rabbit.’
I eagerly tilt my face up, touching my lips to his. He lets me take the lead this time, lets me explore. I kiss him without reservation, learning him like he’s been learning me. He rocks his hips, gliding back and forth through my folds, bumping my clit over and over again.
Only when I’m shaking beneath him does he finally line himself up at my entrance. I’m not sure how you’re supposed to feel in a moment like this, but a whole welter of emotions funnels through me. Trepidation, excitement, joy, desire, and awe. They’re tangled into a thick knot.
‘Hold on to me,’ Jax says, running his nose along the side of mine. ‘Bite me, claw me, whatever you need. It’s going to hurt like hell, but then it’ll feel better, all right?’
I think he’s more worried about the pain than I am. I mean, I’m a little nervous about it. I’m not a masochist. But mostly, I’m ready for him to claim me in this final way, to make me his in the way we’ve both wanted for so damn long. It’s taken four years to get us here. I don’t want to waste a single second more without belonging to him in every way possible.
He pushes into me. My body resists him for a long moment. Just when I start to think he’s too big and is never going to get inside, the head of his cock finally slips in, stretching me. It feels…strange. Good.
‘You okay, rabbit?’ he asks, gasping.
‘Yes.’
He exhales a curse and then presses forward again.
My nails lock down on his shoulders as the stretch starts to burn and ache.
‘Shh, Jessa,’ he whispers, pressing his lips to mine. He groans. ‘Knowing you’re in pain while I’m in heaven is killing me. I hate it.’
‘I’m okay,’ I say, forcing myself to relax my grip. ‘Just…do it fast. No. Do it slow.’ I’m not sure which is better, but Lord, he’s barely in me and I already feel like he’s splitting me in half. I want to get to the good part now. This part isn’t much fun.
‘You ready?’
‘Don’t warn me!’
He lets out an agonized chuckle. ‘I love you, rabbit.’
‘Jax!’ I cry out as he thrusts forward, ripping through my hymen. I’m not sure if it’s just my imagination or if I really do feel it split in half, but it hurts like hell. Even though I don’t mean to do it, I bite him, sinking my teeth into the curve where his neck meets his shoulder.
He roars, but I don’t think it’s from pain.
‘Yes,’ he growls, fighting to stay still even though he’s rocking his hips in little pulses like he can’t control himself. ‘Mark me, Jessa. Make sure everyone knows I’m yours. You’re so tight. Jesus, baby. I’m never leaving this pussy.’
‘Jax,’ I say…moan…cry. I don’t know. Pain still flows through me, but so does awe and bliss and a million other things I didn’t expect. Like how much I love hearing him say that he wants everyone to know I’m his, or how peaceful I feel with his weight pressing me into the bed while he’s inside me. Or how damn happy I am.
‘I know, rabbit,’ he whispers, chasing my lips with his own. He kisses me reverently, gently, sipping at my lips like I’m his favorite drink. His tongue touches mine, drawing it out to play. He drags my bottom lip through his teeth, and then thrusts his tongue into my mouth like he’s fucking me with it.
Pleasure sweeps in, pushing pain out. Little by little, my body relaxes beneath his. The burn turns to a dull ache and then to a deeper pleasure. I squirm beneath him, gasping as the pleasure starts to build again.
‘There you are,’ he whispers against my lips. He stays right there, kissing me over and over as he starts to move on top of me, inside of me. He rocks his hips forward, impaling me on his length. And then he slides back, only to push forward again. He circles his hips, grinding against me. Just when I get used to one motion, he changes it, does something else, finds some other part of me I didn’t know existed.
I run my hands all over his back and ass, trying to pull him closer. I don’t ever want him to stop what he’s doing to me, don’t ever want to lose the feel of his weight on top of me. I’m stretched and full and perfect. Tears well in my eyes, threatening to spill.
Jax sees them, kisses them away.
‘I love you,’ he whispers. ‘God, Jessa. I never knew it could be this good.’
‘Me either.’ I cling to him, trying to absorb him into me again so he’s a permanent, unalterable part of me. ‘You’re so big, Jax. God. I feel you everywhere.’
‘Jessa,’ he says, a warning in his voice.
One I don’t heed.
‘I love feeling you on top of me,’ I whisper, tipping my head back against the pillow to moan as he yanks my leg up higher around his hip, managing to go deeper. ‘I love having you inside me. You feel so damn good, Jax.’
He growls wordlessly and goes a little harder, a little deeper. I writhe beneath him, moaning his name over and over. I say it louder, letting it burst from my lips. For so long, I’ve whispered it into the dark. Being able to say it freely, to moan for him and knows he hears me…I can’t stop doing it.
‘Fuck,’ he curses when I shout it, and then he really starts to move.
He pounds into me, fucking me hard enough to send me inching up the bed. He catches my nipple in his mouth, biting it as he slams into me again and again. His balls smack against my bottom with every thrust, rebounding off my skin with a smacking sound.
He shifts slightly. His cock drags against my g-spot.
I cry out in stunned pleasure.
‘Told you it’d feel better when I was hitting it with my cock,’ he growls around my breast. He hits that magical spot over and over, homed in on it with frightening accuracy.
An orgasm instantly begins to build inside me.
‘Next time, I’ll fuck you from behind,’ he says, leaving a fresh trail of marks across my breasts. They’re little red love bites I love seeing so damn much. ‘See how loud I can make you scream when I’m playing with your little asshole while hitting that spot.’
‘Jax!’ I cry out, my stomach clenching hard at the thought of him seeing me back there, touching me back there. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to like the thought of it so much…but I do. I want this man everywhere. I already know I won’t stop him, no matter what he does to me. He’s going to wreck me, leave me addicted. I’m going to let it happen. Beg for it.
I’m begging now, chanting his name over and over as he claims me so thoroughly nothing will ever work him out of my system again. When I’m thirty or sixty or ninety, I’ll think about this moment and love him just as wildly, just as passionately.
He sits back on his heels, pulling me up until my bottom is in his lap, my legs splayed wide around his hips. He wraps his hands around my waist, holding me still as he fucks into me again and again. The bed taps against the wall, the steady thump joining the chorus of sounds already overtaking the room.
His hand comes down on my pussy in a loud smack. It shocks me. Makes me shout as the sting instantly turns to pleasure. His eyes light up. He does it again and again, smacking my clit until I’m screaming the walls down around us and clawing his thighs.
My inner muscles clamp down on him as my orgasm rips through me. I cry out in bliss, thrashing beneath him as it undoes me down to the tiniest atom, filling all those spaces with ecstasy. Blood rushes in my ears in a torrent of sound. Stars burst behind my eyelids in whirling showers of bright color.
Jax yanks my ass higher into his lap, pounding into me without rhythm.
‘Jessa!’ he roars, his entire body going taut.
I sob his name when I feel him coming in me in thick pulses that coat me in warmth from the inside out. He comes again and again, filling me so full it splashes out around us. Even then, he doesn’t let me go, doesn’t stop.
I peel my eyes open. As soon as my gaze lands on him, a powerful aftershock tears through me. His upper lip is curled in a soundless snarl, his cheeks flushed. He looks fiercely beautiful, as if he’s caught in a net of pleasure so intense in borders on pain. I memorize him in this moment, knowing I’ll play this memory back a million times over the years, just to see it again.
‘Jax, I love you,’ I whisper.
‘Jessa. Jesus, Jessa.’ He falls forward, catching himself on his forearms before he lands against me. He presses me down into the bed again, wrapping himself around me. His body shakes as he pulls air into his lungs in panting inhales. He presses his face against my throat. ‘God, rabbit. I’m never letting you go.’
He couldn’t get rid of me now even if he tried. I don’t care what anyone says, he’s mine and I’m keeping him. I wrap my arms around his sweaty body, clinging to him.
‘I love you,’ he whispers, pressing reverent, adoring kisses against my throat. ‘I love you.’
I know he does. I feel it everywhere. It’s my own personal sun beating down on my face, filling me with warmth, with comfort. It’s him and it’s me and it’s us, all tangled up together with four years of history and an entire future of love waiting for us.