The Beast Within (Book One of the Changes Series)

-Danielle’s POV-

I awoke from my nightmare, unsure of where I could be. It was a crapshoot; I might have woken up in the cell with Porsha or maybe at my Dad’s ranch. Shit, I might even have been an insane asylum.

“Danni, your safe. Open your eyes baby.”

I knew that voice. Was it all an awful dream? It seemed too much to hope for. The man’s voice was most definitely my husband’s. I opened my eyes wide, not knowing what to expect. Would I wake up to a werewolf by my side? To my surprise, I was greeted by the warmth of my husband’s smile and caring eyes. No fur and claws to be seen, just my Nathan.

I couldn’t keep my head from shaking back and forth. “I’m dreaming. You’re not really here,” I frantically stated.

I had to find a way to wake myself up. As my head swiveled around the room, the view just served to confuse me further. My eyes fell over my body; I was now fully clothed. Absently, my hands went to my neck and found the metal ring was gone. Where was I?

I put my attention back on the room. It had a musty smell of earth, letting me know we were most likely underground. It was decorated much like a personal office would be. I had to be dreaming or worse. Why would Nathan be in an underground office?

I had to get out of here, but how does a person get out of a dream? The thought of being trapped in my own mind was too much to deal with. I was ready to jump up and run away from my insanity when I felt a firm hand against my shoulder, weighing me down.

“Whoa, Danni, you need to calm down. You’re not dreaming sweetheart, everything you’ve been through has been real. Please sit so I can explain.”

I shrugged his hand off as I defiantly hopped off the couch, storming towards the office door.

“No, this isn’t real. All of it is in my sick, twisted head! I’m probably rotting away in a facility somewhere.”

I was shocked when I felt his hand on my shoulder again. This time he tightened his grip, stopping me in my tracks.

“I understand why you think all of this is a delusion. Sometimes I wish it was, but unfortunately, it’s your reality.”

Nathan turned me towards his voice, and I looked into the same eyes I stared into when I said my vows. These were the same soft blue eyes I pledged my undying love to. He wasn’t a dream. He had to be real, right?

“Nathan, I’m so confused. If this is real and I’m not crazy. Why? What am I? I just don’t know—”

My instincts took over as I took in a deep whiff. It had to be him. The other scent lingered as well, the smell of the wolf. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. If I wasn’t crazy, what was he? I felt my heartbeat start to race, and from the growing concern on Nathan’s face, I knew he could sense my panic.

“If you’ll give me the chance to explain, I promise it will make perfect sense in time, please.”

It felt like my heart could explode out of my chest as my brain went around in circles.

“We’re not human, are we?”

Nathan hadn’t answered me yet, but the expression on his face spoke volumes. My heart kept its wild beat as the shock of the truth rocked me to my core. If this was my reality, where did I have to run to?

I refused to look him in the eyes, turning back towards the couch that I had fled. There was nothing left to do but hear him out and hope his reasons soothed the hurt I felt. I sat down, feeling as if the couch could swallow me whole with how small I felt. It took all of me to focus on Nathan’s face.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through the process on your own. I wanted to guide you through it, but it’s something we all have to face alone. If we’re told what we truly are before we’re ready, all hell could break loose. Anonymity is one of our biggest safeguards against humans.”

“So, we’re not human?”

“Not exactly. We’re a hybrid, if you will.”

I snapped my head up towards his, feeling the anger vibrate through my bones.

“Hybrid, huh? I would call it something different, like freaks or maybe werewolves. Let’s try monsters on for size!” I yelled, bordering hysterics.

“Yes, we’ve been called all those things and worse, but I would like to think of our kind as a natural evolution of the human race. Almost like our son’s comic books.”

Our children… What about our children?

Involuntary tears flooded my eyes, “Are our kids…? Are they what we are?”

I knew the answer to my question, but my heart held out for a miracle. The look of pride in Nathan’s expression killed any hope I had.

“Of course they are. They’re way too young for the transformation, but they too will go through the process.”

I tried in vain to dam the tears from their continuous downpour.

“When they go through this so-called process, could they become those things that attacked Porsha and me?”

Nathan hung his head in apparent shame, “You weren’t supposed to be in the grotto, I’m not sure how the wires got crossed, but you and Porsha shouldn’t have been there, to begin with. As soon as I realized what had happened, I came for you both, but the damage was done. I’m sorry.”

He looked back up at me.

“So you would be fine, proud even if one of our babies became one of those brainless monsters?!”

“No, of course not.” I sensed the change of temper with his last statement, but he quickly brought his tone back into soothing ranges. “Our people call them the Corrupted. They’re what happens to our kind when we wait too long to go through the change. They turn but never gain the ability to turn back and forth. For reasons unknown, they begin to decompose, fueled only by their ravenous hunger. Luckily their life span is usually no more than a few weeks.”

The memory of the oily beasts made my skin crawl.

“What if the person never went through the change at all? Would they have had a normal life?”

“Most likely, they would suffer from progressively crippling mental illness. Think of what you went through to the tenth power. Would you want that life for our children?”

I remembered before I was bitten and the complete confusion I felt, the lost time, etc. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. I remembered feeling really close to losing my mind.

“Was I in any danger of turning into one of those things?”

“I never would’ve let that happen. You were lucky, though. There was a chance you were supposed to have gone through the change after having the twins, but you went behind my back and started to take medications that could‘ve suppressed your urges.

“Wait, you can take anti-depressants to stop the urges to change?” I interrupted.

I felt a glimmer of hope. My children may not have to suffer through this craziness.

“Danielle, you put yourself in a lot of danger with doing that. Yes, it seemed to inhibit the process, but it could’ve taken you past your maturity. And there would’ve been nothing I could have done to repair the damage.”

I frowned, shaking my head in disagreement, “No, you fed me the same pills for weeks.” By the look he shared, I realized what had happened without him saying a word. “You gave me placebos, didn’t you?”

“I had no choice. I couldn’t afford you sneaking off to another doctor and putting yourself in further danger.”

Everything he was saying so far made sense, but there was one thing that bugged me.

“Why did you wait for so long? You had me believing I was crazy. If you knew what was wrong, why didn’t you bring me here sooner?”

He sighed before answering, “I was waiting for that question, and I hope you accept my answer. I wanted to make sure you were in the proper transitioning stage. If you were too far gone and you were turned—”

“I would’ve been one of the Corrupted.” I interceded.

“Exactly, and like I said, that’s a death sentence. There was also a chance that you weren’t meant to transform, and you were just going through mental issues.”

“I got that being mauled was the ritual I needed to transform, but what if I was just crazy and you tried the ritual on me anyway? What would have happened to me?”

He reached for my hand, taking it into his own, “You most likely would’ve died from your injuries.” I was still confused. Nathan seemed to sense it. “A good indicator that you’re ready for the change is a lapse in the symptoms. Your body muscle fluctuations also helped me pinpoint your situation.”

So that day that Porsha came by and I had woken out of my symptoms, he knew I was ready to be transformed. There were so many questions that I still needed answers to. As long as he was willing, I was going to get as much information as possible.

“Why did I lose time? What did I do in those lost moments?”

Nathan shook his head with a slight smile on his face. “You didn’t lose as much time as you think you did. Well, you did forget what you did in that time, but the moments of you not being yourself would only be for an hour, if even that long.”

It was somewhat comforting that I didn’t lose a whole week as I had first thought, but what did he mean I wasn’t myself for an hour at most? Who was I at that time?

My confusion again wasn’t lost on him.

“Your instincts would take over for that time. The only way anything bad could or would happen in that state is if you or your loved ones were threatened.”

The recollection of the usher in the movie theater came back to me and how he said I acted strangely.

“So the grey werewolf was you?”

Nathan’s brow relaxed some, and a faint trace of a smile came back across his face.

“I prefer lycan to werewolf.”

“How long have you been a werew— lycan?”

“Well, all my life just like you, but the transformation happened when I was fairly young. I believe I was fourteen.”

“You were young. Who helped you through the process? Did your parents put you in foster care because of it? Or were they lycans too? Is that the reason they’re dead? Did they try to eat people; were they…”

“Wow, Honey, slow down for a minute and let my mind catch up with your mouth.”

“I’m sorry.”

His smile widened, “No, please don’t be, I understand. It’s been a while, but I used to be in your shoes. Just slow down a touch so I can keep up,” Nathan chuckled.

I couldn’t look him in the eyes, “Do we eat people?”

“Most of us don’t. The Corrupted, as you witnessed, eat anything that moves. The rest of us are like any other intelligent species. There are bad and good ones. Our biggest cross to bear is learning how to keep our tempers. To answer your question, though, no; we as a whole do not eat people.”

“Why were there people in there with the Corrupted?”

“Well, as you might have already figured, most people are unaware of our existence. Unfortunately, we’re discovered from time to time mostly because our tempers cause us to transform or somehow we’re outed. So we collect the unlucky few and try to reset what they think they saw.”

“You mean you brainwash them?”

Nathan let out a heavy sigh, “Yes. If that doesn’t work, we let the Corrupted feed. I know that isn’t the best solution, but we can’t afford to be discovered and hunted again. I wish there was a better way, and maybe in time we can find one.”

“So Lu Ann and her boss wanted Porsha and me dead?”

Nathan’s brow wrinkled at my accusation.

Did Nathan know who Lu Ann’s boss was? If so, was that person his boss as well?

This seemed like a pretty plush setup not to have some importance linked to you.

“Are you the man I heard over the P.A. right before being attacked in my cell?”

I waited for his reaction.

“No, they wouldn’t let me partake in your transformation because of my intimate connection to you. I wouldn’t have known to come to the grotto if it wasn’t for me breaking the rules and checking on you anyway. That was my first time hearing Porsha was even mixed up in all of this.”

Porsha’s beautiful face flashed in my mind’s eye, quickly replaced by its broken rendition. My heart felt as if it could break into a thousand more pieces.

“Was she one of us?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

She was just one of the people that saw too much. Porsha would still be alive if she was at home instead of at the restaurant with me. Nathan confirmed my thoughts with a shake of his head. The tears started to well up again.

“I killed my best friend, Nathan. I couldn’t save her. Now she’s dead.”

I fell into his chest, crying uncontrollably…

“Danni, Porsha isn’t dead. She’s in critical condition, and I’m not sure if she’ll pull through, but we’re hopeful.”

I felt my heart skip a beat as I lifted my view back on Nathan.

“Oh my God! Can I see her?”

“Yes, as soon as I get through some information you need to know.”

I took a cleansing breath, wiping my face. A rouge thought started a panic deep within me.

“Nathan, you need to keep that man and Lu Ann away from Porsha. She’ll try to hurt her just to spite me. I don’t know who the man is. He disguised his voice, and I only talked to him once, but I know he’s somebody big in all of this. We need to get out of here, right now!”

Nathan looked confused before his expression quickly turned to a look of concern.

“Danni, if you’re talking about the same person I think you’re talking about, he came and left the same day of your transformation.”

“Why did he come at all?”

“I can’t tell you right at this moment, but let’s just say you’re very special.”

I heard Lu Ann’s snide remarks play in my mind. I remember her disapproval of the thought of me being special in any way.

“Is she gone too?”

“No, she’s still stationed here, but the information you just shared about her possible motives gives me definite cause for concern.”

In one swift motion, Nathan got up from the couch and started towards his desk at the far end of the room. I watched as he picked up the telephone. There was a brief silence.

“Yes, may I speak to Master Romulus, please?—This is Nathan Smith. Yes, I’ll hold.”

“What are you doing?” I asked in hush tones.

Nathan put his index finger up, “Yes, this Nathan Smith, sir—Danielle is showing great progress. Thank you for asking.” Nathan looked up from his desk to share a look of reassurance and one of his signature crooked smiles. “I was calling for a reason. I would never question one of your orders, sir, but I question if it originated from you. Danielle was sent into the Grotto with apparent orders to be terminated.”

Nathan went back to blankly staring at his desk while I was stuck waiting to see what would happen. He locked eyes with me once again. “I was told Lu Ann saw the order out.” I felt my head nod up and down in agreement. “I didn’t think you did. I just wanted to keep you abreast of the situation, and I needed orders on how to deal with the matter.”