The Bastard Queen (Viciously Yours #2)

Blood splashed across the front of my tunic causing me to cover the Choco Blast in my hand, “If you get blood on my chocolate, I swear to Divines. I will shove my sword down your throat.”

The man in the yellow tunic gurgled back a reply as he coughed out more blood.

“Well, you don’t have to be a jackass about it.”

Sinking to his knees, he raised a hand out to me.

“Uh, no. I don’t share my snacks.” I informed him, arching a brow.

Leaning back on my bed, I watched with mild disinterest as the short man choked on his own blood at my feet. Fitzgerald ‘Grumpy’ Ó Maoilriain was the last deal I had that could give us an advantage in the war. Wellll...technically there was one more deal I could call in, but I’d rather not see her unless I absolutely had to.

Stubby little hands fisted in the carpet under him as he gave another wet gurgle.

Sighing, I took a bite out of the chocolatey treat, “You know, I thought I would enjoy this more but I guess you’re just not the right man. And now I have to get a new carpet. ”

A sausage-like middle finger was shoved in my direction.

Rolling my eyes at the gesture, I counted to three and right on cue the little guy gave a dramatic gasp before flopping face down into the carpet. Reaching out with a foot, I shoved him onto his back and waited.

“How long does this go on for?”

Sliding my eyes over to look at Dani, I murmured, “For as long as he keeps refusing to fulfill his side of the deal.”

“And what did you do for him again?”

“If I remember correctly, I gave him the money he needed to save his mine right before I went to prison. So technically, I’m a co-owner.”

“That’s why he hates you.” She said, eyeing the small male. “We should’ve brought the others to get him.”

“Dwarves are greedy.” I yawned, looking down at the man before glancing up at Dani. “And what? I’m not enough back up for you?”

“Macha. We had to kidnap him from his home and kill five of his guards to get him here.”

I scoffed, “What’s this we? I did all the work while you nagged me about how we shouldn’t be doing this. I even carried the little shit.”

“Because this is Grumpy Ó Maoilriain!”

“Yea, half owner of the Mac’Ha Mines.” I said, giving Grumpy another kick.

Her pink hair flew as she gestured wildly at the groaning male, “No, that’s his day job. At night, he’s the biggest smuggler this side of Tir Na Nog.”

Huh. Brows in my hair line, I look back and forth between her and Grumpy. “You’re talking about him, right?”

“Yes.”

My eyes glanced over the Dwarf’s large nose, bushy brows and the puffy bags beneath his eyes. Eyes that were now starting to slowly blink open as I motioned between him and Dani, “Grumpy Ó Maoilriain?”

She flashed sharpened teeth, “Do you see another bloody Dwarf in here that I don’t?”

Fighting back a laugh, I looked down at Grumpy in time to see his little butt poking up in the air. With a smirk, I whispered to Dani, “Five gold pieces says he runs.”

“...Six.”

Stilling for a moment, he waited until he was balanced before turning around to look at us. Coal colored eyes looked us over slowly as he raised his gray hands in a placating manner, “Alright, alright.”

Taking a bite of my neglected Choco Blast, I used it to point at him, “Why’d you panic when you saw me, Grumpy? We could’ve done this at your place but you called the guards. That’s kind of fucked up.”

His body tensed at my voice, “I didn’t recognize you. It’s been a long time.”

“So you’re saying that I’ve aged?”

Dani made a tsking sound.

A bead of sweat slid down the side of his gray face seconds before he pulled a small dagger from his boot. After chucking it at me with a screamed ‘Die’, he charged for the tent entrance as fast as his flat feet could carry him.

Raising a hand, I stopped the dagger mid-flight from connecting with my knee and ripped a chain from around my waist. In one fluid motion, I snapped the chain forward and around his waist right as he stepped outside. He released a grunt when I yanked on the chain and grabbed onto the sides of the tent flap.

“Help! Help! She’s trying to kill me!”

Rolling my eyes at his dramatics, I placed my treat on the plate with the others and yanked on the chain with both hands. His feet left the carpet as he was pulled parallel to the floor with his grubby little hands gripping the blue fabric. The guards stationed outside my tent leaned in to look at him and then at me with questions all over their faces.

“Oh please, you gotta help me! I’m just a poor innocent Dwarf! I don’t deserve this.” He yelled out loud enough for the whole camp to hear.

Winding the chain around one forearm, I gave another harsh tug that had him flipping head over heels back to me. Tumbling to a stop on his ass in the middle of the tent, I called the chain back to wrap around my waist, “You done?”

Panting, he swiped a hand over his damp forehead, “Ye-yeah.”

“Good. Because that was just sad.”

Pointed teeth clicked in my direction, “You’re a bitch.”

“The very first one, Babes.” I mused, flicking my hair over my shoulders.

Dani walked over and peeked out of the tent before calling over her shoulder, “Dougal’s walking this way.”

Divines, of course he is. “Let’s get to the point before you die again for the tenth time, Grumpy. Why are you refusing to hold up your end of the deal?”

Fixing his yellow tunic, he held his big nose up in the air, “I will not work with a mass murder and Dwarf killer.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked, squinting at him in confusion.

Shaking his bald gray head, he stood back up to his four foot five height and pointed a stubby finger in my direction, “You will not corrupt me demon! In the power of the Divines I repel you!”

Tilting my head, I looked over at Dani with the same mirrored ‘What the fuck’ expression. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I sighed, “First of all, I’m very obviously Unseelie Fae. And secondly, you’re mixing religions which I’m pretty sure you can’t do.”

The Dwarf huffed and puffed before sliding another dagger free of his boot while screaming, “I will exact vengeance for my brethren!” Right before he charged me.

Watching him in just...complete disbelief at the size of his balls, I waited until he was within reach. That was when I lifted a single leg and kicked him right in the head, sending him flying back and slamming into Dougals legs, who had just walked in. Surprised, Dougal reacted without thinking and gave the Dwarf a hard kick that sent him rolling back to me.

Laughing, I called any metal left on the Dwarf to land in my open palm. Two more daggers, three ninja stars and a nasty pair of spiked brass knuckles weighed my hand down. Whistling, I dropped them all on the bed and looked over the brass knuckles, “I don’t remember you having these in the movies.”

“Do I look like a fucking Seelie Dwarf to you? I should eat you just for saying that!”

I snorted, “To ride this ride the male height requirement is over six three. You’re about two and a half feet short, Babes. You don’t even reach the female requirement.”

“You wish you were so lucky.” He spit out as he preened.

“What the hell is going on in here?”

Looking away from the cocky little shit, I laughed as I took in Dougal’s exasperated expression, “I honestly don’t know anymore.”

“Well, how about you start with why the most wanted smuggler in Tir Na Nog is in your tent?”

“Oh, yea.” Releasing another yawn, I picked up my Choco Blast again. “So, me and Dani went to go collect on the last deal that could help us. Fitzgerald,-”

“It’s Grumpy, you fairy.”

“-here. Is the Faekind on the other end of that deal but now, he won’t fulfill his side of it.”

“Macha, that still doesn’t tell me why he’s here. In your tent, in this secret camp.” Dougal stressed.

Pausing, I blinked heavily and thought over what I just said before exhaling on a chuckle, “No, I guess it doesn’t.”

Walking further into the tent, he went to stand by Dani to ask her, “When was the last time she slept?”

She opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again, “IIIII…Don’t actually know.”

“Last night, babes. A full healthy nine hours.” I replied with an innocent look when two sets of eyes looked over at me. And they still had the audacity to look unconvinced. Waving a dismissive hand, I looked back at the Dwarf trying to quietly make his way out of the tent, “Where do you think you’re going?”

At my question, he straightened from his hunched position and spun back around, “Nowhere.”

“Mmmmhhh. Why don’t you explain what you were screaming about earlier?”

His face took on an overly judgmental expression, “I heard alllll about you. How you’re a mass murderer and a Dwarf killer.”

I gave a slow blink, “That’s it? That’s what you’ve heard? Out of everything I’ve done, that’s what I’m remembered for? Divines, what a let down.”

“Ahh ha!” He shouted. “You don’t even deny it!”

“Because it’s half true.” I responded with a roll of my eyes, “I’ve committed...I want to sayyyy...about a cool ten massacres. And I mean come on, who hasn’t killed a Dwarf? You guys are assholes.”

“See! I will not hold up my end of the deal with someone like you!”

Furrowing my brows, I snapped, “Excuse me? You’re the one who did a deal with someone like me.”

“I was desperate! And now you want to take everything I have!” He snarled, stomping his little booted foot.

“Who the fuck said that? I only asked you to use the mine, that I’m part owner of by the way, to supply us with the Fae metal we need to make weapons for the war.” I said, throwing my hands in the air.

He paused, “Is that what you said?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” Grumpy’s coal colored eyes glanced around the room, “So, you don’t want my smuggling empire?”

“No. I don’t smuggle things into Tir Na Nog, I proudly travel here with whatever the fuck I want. That’d be useless to me.”

He pushed his chest out, “Not all Faekind can travel, you know. It’s actually a pretty lucrative business that many enemies have tried to kill me for.”

“I’m sure your Goblin guards are a huge help with that considering I killed five of them.”

“You what?”

Finishing off my Choco Blast, I spoke around the chocolate, “Look, can we get back on track? There’s no sense in dwelling in the past.”

“Fine.” He grunted, crossing his arms over his chest. “That’s all you want then? For my mine to supply you with the metal you need?”

“Our mine, you named it after me. And for the duration of the war, yes. After that we can talk about a better deal for the both of us. Agreed?”

Grumpy wiggled his big nose, “Will I choke to death again if I don’t?”

“That would be a yes, Babes.” I confirmed while playing with a piece of braided hair.

“Then I agree to your terms, you purple haired harlot.”

My entire body stilled as I snapped my head towards him, “What. Did you just say?”

“You heard me, Grape Head.”

“Excuse me?” I snapped, jumping to my feet. “My hair is blue, you colorblind Pixie. Royal blue.”

Dark bushy brows pulled together on his scowling face, “Pixie! Pixie! Come over here and say that to my face!”

“I would but I don’t feel like literally stooping to your level.”

He raised his small fists, “Imma turn your eyes even purpler!”

“Call my Fae color purple again and I’ll drop kick your ass into the stars!”

Dougal stepped between us when I took a step closer to Grumpy, “No. No fighting the Dwarf.”

“Fuck you, Purple Giant! I’d like to see you try!” Grumpy roared.

Baring my pointed teeth, I shoved past Dougal and pulled a sword from over my shoulder, “I don’t care if you’re four five, I’m going to whoop your ass like you’re seven two!”

“What the fuck is going on in here?”

Flicking my eyes to the side, I trailed them up a pair of muscular black leather clad legs and a black tunic covered chest to meet silver eyes. Sighing, I threw my arms in the air, “And here we fucking go.”

——

Lmaoooo. Like the title of the chapter that was a lot of chaotic energy in one tent.

Sorry I haven’t been that consistent lately, my fall semester just started so I was getting into the swing of things. I got my schedule down though and I might start updating twice a week. We’ll see how that goes, though.

As always, feel free to like or comment your thoughts. Big thanks to everyone who’s read my little book up to this point! I appreciate every one of you!!🤎🤎

Smooches, Verbabge💋