The Bastard Queen (Viciously Yours #2)

Destined. We were destined mates. How, when, why….I ran the words over and over again in my mind, trying to get a grasp on my new reality. The fact that I had met and spoke with my father was the farthest thing from my mind at the moment. What was on my mind though, was the fact that I knew who I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. It didn’t freak me out that I technically had an official mate, but it did freak me out that I had one now. In this moment, I was mated and it didn’t matter that Cillian didn’t know yet because to me? We were mated.

And that’s why my heart was currently racing. Because the entire course of my life had once again been flipped on its head. Since I had been young despite everything I had gone through as a child, I knew that I wanted to grow up and have a family. I wanted to do the whole get mated and pop out a few kids shtick but I hadn’t expected it to happen this soon. At almost three thousand years old, I was right in the middle of my prime and the thought of getting mated had been pretty distant to me. So the fact that I was mated now, literally overnight to someone I was sleeping with that also happens to be someone I used to hate? Yeah, that was mind fuck.

Oh! And let’s not forget that I still need to tell him. My feet had been burning a path in the carpet of my tent for the last hour at the thought of telling Cillian. I had a feeling once I told him he was going to want to get mated immediately and that was what was giving me anxiety. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to mate Cillian, it was that I didn’t want to be mated right now. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to live past this war, I didn’t want to do that to him. Sharing a bond that deep only to lose it within a couple of months wasn’t something a lot of people could handle.

Or….I could be wrong, I thought. Twisting my heel into the carpet, I turned right back around and started towards the bed. Maybe Cillian wouldn’t want to get mated right away or maybe he wouldn’t want to get mated at all. He could just want to ignore it until after the war and keep doing what we were doing. The sex was great, I enjoyed being around him and more importantly I trusted him. Cillian turning out to be my destined mate….just felt right. But I couldn’t ignore the fact that I didn’t want to be mated at this point in time.

Groaning, I placed my hands on my head and turned to pace towards the other side of the tent. I could feel a headache starting to form in my right temple as I tried to figure out what the hell I was going to do. Part of me was telling me to roll the dice and tell him while another part of me that I was more comfortable with was telling me to wait. So that was the choice I was facing now: tell him and deal with the eventual argument we were going to have or wait to tell him and possibly make him angry enough to make him walk away from us.

Sighing, I paused mid-way to the bed to look up at the ceiling and shake my head. Who the fuck was I trying to kid? I was going to tell him, I just didn’t want to have to be the one to tell him. There was also the chance that with how stubborn he was he’d think I was only going to mate him so I could transform safely. Buuuttt….Malachy never said we had to be mated in order for Cillian to help me through the transformation...Hmmmm, I do love me a loophole. Maybe all he really needed to do was touch me during the transformation to help me...which meant that I didn’t-

No. Bad, Macha. You already made a decision. Stick with it.

“Son of a bittttchhhhl.” I whined, irritated with myself. “I need chocolate.”

With that said, I closed my eyes as the ground fell away underneath me with my mind on delicious gooey chocolate. Sound met my ears before my feet hit the ground, pots and pans clanging together followed by voices all talking a mile a minute. Eyes opening, I quickly stepped back and out of the way of a man juggling a large pot before starting towards the chocolate cabinet. Everything was going according to plan, everyone was so busy trying to get breakfast together that I hadn’t been noticed. Unfortunately for me though, the cabinet squeaked unreasonably loud as I tried to open it quietly.

All the clatter and chatter of the kitchen ceased as I slowly stood up with a cringe before turning to face them. Staring back at the ten pairs of colored eyes, I gave a hesitant grin and fought the urge to raise my hands like a criminal, “Just looking for some chocolate, didn’t mean to interrupt.”

The silence lasted for around a minute before the tent was suddenly filled with cheers and applause. Gaze flicking around the tent in confusion, I was relieved to see Orlaith walking towards me with a smile. Slipping between the counters, she grabbed a covered tray before coming to a stop just outside what I considered my npersonal space. With a raise of her left hand the cheering stopped and she gave the tray a little jerk towards me.

“We weren’t out on that battlefield with you but we still wanted to mark the first win of the war with something special. Me and my staff heard you watched a lot of T.V. in prison so we made you something you might have seen.” Lifting the cover off the tray, she revealed five little crispy looking chocolate loafs.

Wide eyed, I leaned closer to whisper, “Are those what I think they are?”

“Yup. Chocolate fried twinkies specially made for you.”

Salivating, I reached for the delectable looking pieces of heaven when she suddenly slammed the cover back on the treats. Head snapping up, I stuttered in angry confusion, “Why-no- Give me those, they’re mine.”

Olaith tilted her head to the side a little while giving me an odd look, “Relax, Gremlin. These are for you to enjoy in privacy. I don’t need my staff distracted by sounds of your pleasure over the treats.”

“Right. Thank you everyone. Truly the best gift I could’ve received after a battle.” I murmured, eyes on the covered tray while I slowly took it from Orlaith.

Once it was firmly in my grasp, I shot the amused looking kitchen staff a smile and then hightailed it back to my tent. The second my feet hit the carpet, I was grabbing the jug of water on the desk and carrying my meal to the bed. I could feel the warmth of the fried treats through the metal tray as I balanced it in one hand while climbing onto the bed. Mattress shifting underneath my bare feet, I crossed my ankles and carefully dropped back against the headboard. Wedging the jug against my thigh, I placed the tray on my lap and slapped my hands together in glee.

I had the tray cover inches away from unveiling the fried goodies when the entrance of my tent was pushed open. A large figure cloaked in black with a purple C on his chest had me almost tossing the tray in my haste to stand. Throwing a fur over the top I rushed towards him, slamming the jug down on the desk as I went. But when a smaller figure came tumbling across the floor, I jerked to a stop. Using my right foot, I pushed back on the figure’s shoulder until I could see the young face of a male.

Tilting my head, I studied the boy’s features, “I take it your ‘talk’ didn’t go so well?”

“He wouldn’t stop squirming as we traveled.”

“So you knocked him out?”

“I warned him.”

Snorting, I lightly kicked the boy’s head before looking up at Cillian, “Before or after you gave him that shiner?”

“You have no idea how frustrating it was trying to get him to understand, Cell Bait.” Cillian vented, stalking deeper into the tent. “And he still doesn’t! The little shit had the nerve to say he was going to mate that girl and then tell her everything!”

Giving a low whistle, I kicked the boy’s shoulder, “Forget what I said before, he’s an idiot.”

“I know. He caught Daithí’s attention and he acted like it was no big deal. Like he could fix it.”

Shaking my head, I said, “You did the right thing by pulling him. You think you can handle Mab’s questions?”

He gave me a blank look.

“Right.” I smirked. “Dumb question. You’ve been doing this for forever.”

Sighing, Cillian gave his sleeping brother a look before rubbing at the back of his neck, “I need to tell my father which is not going to be a short conversation. Can you watch him?”

“You sure that’s a good idea? I have even less patience than you do and that’s saying something.”

“It’s fine.” He replied, waving a tired hand. “I couldn’t get through to him but maybe you can. Do whatever it takes, just make sure he still has a pulse or I’ll never hear the end of it from my mother.”

I hummed, looking down at the knocked out boy in interest. That’s a lot of leeway…Hearing the rustle of my tent flap, my head snapped up as anxiety flooded my chest, “You’re coming back right?”

Halfway out of the tent, he turned to look back at me, “Yeah? I mean, you want me to... right?”

“Well, yeah.” I responded, taken off guard by the sudden awkwardness. “I need to tell you something so I just want to make sure because it’s kind of important.”

“You’re not..” He trailed off, silver eyes dropping to my stomach.

Making a face of mild disgust mixed with surprise, I placed a hand to my stomach and snapped, “No. No. Divines, no. We used condoms, remember?”

He nodded, rubbing at his eyes, “Right, sorry. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

“Mmmhh.”

At that he left the tent and I released a heavy breath as all the awkwardness left the room with him. Giving an all over shiver to get rid of the feeling I rarely experienced, I padded over to the jug. Picking it up, I walked over to the still sleeping boy and dumped the entire contents of the jug on his face. The moment the cold water splashed across his face, Baris jerked upright coughing and sputtering.

Light green eyes raced over his new surroundings before they finally landed on me, “Who are you? Where’s my brother?”

“You brother’s dead. And I’m Macha, Your Queen.” I said in a flat tone after a moment’s thought.

“What? What do you mean my brother’s dead? Cillian? Cillian Grymes is dead?” He asked rapidly, getting to his feet with wide eyes.

“Is there another silver haired giant that you’re related to?”

Seeing him flick his eyes across the floor, I took perverse pleasure in watching him panickingly try to contact Cillian. As I had hoped, Cillian ignored him and inadvertently solidified my story of him being dead. A giddiness filled me at the amount of fun that was heading my way as I practically skipped behind the desk.

Light green eyes brimming in tears, he cleared his throat and clenched his undefined jaw, “Who did it? Who killed my brother?”

“Oh. That would be me.” I informed him cheerfully, kicking up my feet on the desk in a relaxed pose. “Yea, I didn’t want to. But you know how war is, things are always changing.”

“Why? He- he’s been loyal to you since before I was born. Why would you kill him?” Baris practically cried, looking at me in disbelief. “What could he have done to deserve death?”

Making him wait, I held a hand out towards the bed and called the covered tray to me. The smooth metal slid against my palm as it flew into my hand before I placed it down in front of me. Uncovering the tray, I plucked a chocolate fried Twinkie from the pile and bit into it with a groan. Holy shit, these are better than sex.

Gobbling down the rest, I licked my finger tips and then glanced up at the glaring boy, “What were you saying?”

“Why did you kill my brother? You evil bitch.” He snarled.

Evil bitch? Don’t laugh, don’t laugh. I raised a brow, “How’d you know my childhood nickname?”

“I’m not fucking playing with you!”

Feeling the air shift, I narrowed my eyes at the audacity of the boy and snapped the tray cover in his direction. The slightly domed metal collided with his hands and molded over them down to his forearms. Frustrated, he tried to yank his hands free only for me to tighten the metal around his hands.

Dropping my feet from the table, I let the side I typically reserved for Mab these days to break free. Feeling absolutely nothing, I continued to tighten the metal until the boy hit his knees with a cry. Pain filled eyes flicked up to mine and caught the empty smile I was shining his way.

Ignoring the way he stilled, I stood and walked around to the front of the desk. Leaning back against the wood, I clasped my hands in front of me, “Cillian was right. You are naive and idiotic. Tell me boy, who do you think you are?”

“The Fae who’s going to kill you.” He spit, tears trailing down his rounded cheeks.

Spotting the hard glint in his eyes, I tsked, “Babes, I might have wielded the sword but you let it swing.”

“What are you talking about?”

Pushing off the desk, I started to circle him, “Baris, your brother took the fall for you. He explained that you were young and naive. That you didn’t know what you were doing. But as any good soldier knows, someone has to pay the price.”

“What- I don’t-”

Dropping into a squat in front of him, I gave his nose a tap with a smile, “You killed your brother. You think drawing attention to yourself, wouldn’t draw attention to your brother? He knew the importance of keeping a low profile and the appearance of unquestionable loyalty to Mab. You risked his position and my entire army. Someone had to be punished. I wouldn’t be a good Queen if I just let that slide, now would I?”

He shook his head, sniffling, “But we’re Grymes.”

“Ahhh. I see now.” I replied, nodding my head. “You thought because of the strength of your family and your connections to two Queens that you were untouchable. Invincible. That whatever you did, didn’t matter because you were protected. But you’re not. Your brother knew that, that’s why he dropped to his knees and didn’t struggle when I cleaved his head from his neck. In a last act of true loyalty.”

Green eyes flooded with water again as his face scrunched up in agony,“What did I do? He tried to tell me, over and over again but I wouldn’t listen. I thought I knew better, that he was being unreasonable and over dramatic. I should’ve listened. I should’ve listened.”

Eyeing his bowed head and curled shoulders, I tilted my head to the side, “It’s not entirely your fault. Your family should have taught you better. Told you how the realm really worked, especially during war. Cillian died so you could live but also because of his failure to get through to you.”

Head springing up, he snapped, “No. That isn’t fair, he tried to tell me but I refused to listen. This isn’t fair! How could you kill him for something I did?”

“Because someone needed to die. Your actions have consequences. It was either he sacrificed himself for you or he took the chance that Mab would figure it out and took his life in the most painful way possible. One way or another, someone was going to die because you couldn’t fall in line.”

Instead of responding, he began to sob with his head hanging as he slammed his metal encased hands repeatedly against the carpeted floor.

Staying slightly, I watched the young boy break down in front of me with no remorse. Sometimes people needed to be broken so that their true self could come to the surface. It worked for me. Although the level of our hardship wasn’t the same, Baris would finally grow up. If the circumstances were different, I would’ve never stripped him of his childhood. But he had more than enough time to be a child. It was time for him to become a soldier before he got us all killed.

Catching a whisper of fabric, I looked up to find Bria standing in the doorway. Her darker green eyes took in her twin and she immediately went to step into the room. I shook my head the tiniest degree with a hard look that she hesitated at before slowly and reluctantly stepping back out of the tent.

Turning my attention back to the sobbing boy, I said, “Your brother’s alive.”

It took a moment for my words to fully sink in but when they did, Baris froze and croaked, “What?”

“Your brother’s alive. He’s talking to your father right now.”

Bloodshot eyes locked on me, “You’re lying.”

“Ask him.”

Waiting, I watched his eyes scan the area before him as he mentally spoke to his father. Fresh tears sprung to his eyes after a minute and then he slumped over in relief. Letting another beat of silence pass, I spoke, “Everything you do has a consequence, Baris. And most of the time, because of the war our realm is facing, it won’t just be you paying for it. You brother may be alive now but because of what you did, he needs to convince Mab of why you left. And whatever he tells her needs to be believed or it will be his head that rolls.”

“You made me believe my brother was dead just to tell me that?” He whispered, taking deep breaths.

I shrugged, “Your family coddles you. Even Cillian, whether he realizes it or not. It was time for you to grow up.”

He blinked, “But he’s alive?”

“He is.”

Sighing heavily, he rocked forward to press his forehead to the floor for a few seconds. Sitting up straight again, he gave me a tired look, “I really fucked everything up, didn’t I?”

“Almost. Lucky for you, your brother knows how to fix things.” Hell, he fixed me. Partially.

“Everything he was telling me was true. I could have been the reason for my family’s heads dangling off Mab’s gates.”

Pulling the metal off his hands, I formed it into a long dagger as I corrected him, “You could have been the reason for thousands of deaths. Not just your family’s.”

The boy raised his bruised hands to his face, looking completely shocked at the enormity of his screw up, “I’m sorry. I never meant to- I just thought-Divines, I’m such a fucking idiot. Cara never loved me.”

Getting to my feet, I stared down at the young man who had curled in on himself out of shame. Feeling a tinge of pity, I told him, “Love doesn’t mean trust and trust doesn’t mean love. Only a lucky few can say they have both.”

He stayed on his knees, staring silently at the floor and asked softly, “How do I make this right?”

“By finally listening and learning from the people around you. Now get up.”

Rising to his feet, the young male refused to meet my eyes as he stood before me.

“While you’re on my base, you will be closely watched by one of your family members at all times. Until I feel that you can be trusted again. You will be coming with me when I tour the Unseelie territories. It’s time for you to be exposed to what a Grymes’ life is really like.”

“Yes, My Queen.” He murmured, eyes still glued to the ground.

And that was fine. I didn’t need him to look at me for this part. Lunging forward, I wrapped one arm under his arm to grab the back of his head while stabbing him under the collar bone with the dagger. He cried out as it pierced through his skin and scraped against his shoulder blade on it’s way out. Dropping my hand from the handle of the dagger, I stepped back and gripped his chin harshly.

Yanking his head up, I peered into his bloodshot eyes coldly and spoke with an iron tone, “Related or not. If you ever disobey a direct order from your Commander and put my soldiers at risk again, I will destroy you. I’m talking one inch out of line, Baris. And I will find this Cara you’re infatuated with and slaughter her in the most heinous way possible. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, My Queen.” He gritted out through the pain.

“I want to make this very clear, Baris. I don’t make empty threats. If you get in my way, in any way, I will mark you as a traitor and burn your little girlfriend to ash. Understood?”

His pain filled eyes searched mine for a second before straightening up against the pain, “Understood, My Queen.”

Keeping my hard expression for another moment, I dropped it to give him a large smile and a slap on the back, “Fantastic! I want to like you, Babes. Don’t fuck this up but no hard feelings, yea? Come on, Bria’s waiting to take you to your mother.”

“Y-yeah. Okay.”

With a hand on his shoulder, I guided him out of the tent and into Bria’s worried arms. She embraced him quickly before stepping back, looking at him and his wound before cuffing him on the back of the head, “You absolute idiot.”

Laughing, I interrupted, “He’ll be fine but I don’t want anyone pulling that dagger from his shoulder until day break in a few hours.”

“Understood. I’m sure my mother would like a turn twisting it.” Bria replied, grabbing her twin by the arm and pulling him away.

I watched them walk a few paces away before calling out, “Where’s Cillian?”

Bria turned slightly to say, “He’s still talking with my father somewhere in the woods.”

“Thank, Babes!” I shouted and then turned to start walking towards the tree line. Bare feet brushing over the prickly grass, I couldn’t stop myself from searching him out instead of waiting for him. I needed to tell him what we were before I convinced myself not to.

——

I love how cold Macha is sometimes lmao. Hopefully, her little talk with Baris straightened is naive ass out. Also, I loved that little awkward exchange between Macha and Cillian. I don’t know it made them a little more real to me, lol.

As always, leave a comment if you enjoyed the chapter or a like.

Happy Thanksgiving, Verbage🦃