Chapter 23
Do you need, do you need someone?
Are you scared of what’s to come?
If you leave then who will the next one be?
Will he do the same or will he let you see
--
Mari
I awoke in the bedroom of the glassed villa. Headphones and phone on the nightstand. Wearing a big blue shirt and panties.
At least I wasn’t naked anymore.
The second my eyes opened, the pain, the wildfire in my chest returned.
I let it happen. I didn’t fight back as much as I could.
I felt pleasure, not pain.
Memories of what happened slams back into motion, seeing it over and over again.
Experiencing it over and over again. My intense need to relieve the pain, I resume clawing at my thighs.
Drawing blood.
***
Hours turned into days. I lay still on the bed. Never getting out of it.
Kai’ine has tried to get me to talk multiple times. Standing in the doorway, afraid to come too near. Never touching me.
I close my eyes again, welcoming the sleep. Praying that I won’t have another nightmare.
I wish it was that easy.
***
Days turned into weeks. I got up only when I desperately needed to use the restroom.
I started showering several times a day, trying to scrub him off me. I felt dirty all the time. Sleepy. Constant pain. Rarely ever ate. It just came straight up.
Kai’ine was growing desperate. He didn’t know what to do. How to react.
Good.
He should have thought about that before he raped me.
Sometimes I would wake and see him crouched in the doorway, with his head in his hands. Tired. Scared. Grieving.
I figured since I could feel his emotions sometimes, he probably felt mine too.
Good.
I turned my back to him and fell back asleep. The music from my phone constantly playing. I couldn’t stand the silence.
***
‘’Ma’ari,’’ someone whispers. Shaking me awake.
I groan. Why is someone touching me? If frown. I don’t want to be touched. I try and break free from the grasp, but to no success.
I groan again.
‘’Ma’ari!’’ Zuuri calls louder.
I open my eyes immediately. I haven’t seen him in weeks. I was glad to see him. He was the only one I would consider a friend on this planet.
A good one.
‘’What?’’ I croak out. It’s been so long since I’ve talked.
I never responded to Kai’ine.
‘’You are going home,’’ he states seriously.
I look at him warily. Is he tricking me? I slowly sit up in bed, muscles aching.
‘’Home?’’ I whisper, hopefully, as I rub the sleep from my eyes.
He nods quickly.
‘’I cannot see you in this state anymore. Zuki and I are getting you home,’’ he whispers.
I light up immediately.
‘’Do you mean it? For real?’’ a hopeful smile on my face. I couldn’t help it. I was going home!
‘’Yes. I’ve packed your things. It’s in your backpack. We cannot travel with you. We have to hold back Kai’ine. You have to board the ship alone. It is parked right outside. The white one. I have programmed it so that it recognizes your voice. All you have to do is tell the computer your name and the spot where you want to land. It will take three days,’’ he explains quickly.
I’m trying to remember as much as I can.
‘’You can shower and change on the ship. We do not have much time!’’ he shakes me a little.
Before I know it, I’m embracing him tightly. Thankful.
Unbelievably thankful.
‘’Thank you so much, Zuuri,’’ I murmur into his hair.
He hugs me back, before pushing me away quickly.
’’Listen closely to me, Ma’ari. This is how we do it: we will walk downstairs now, out in the garden. You will greet Kai’ine, however way you’d like. He will be so shocked to see you up that I do not even have to explain why you are. Zuki and I will start talking about how happy we are to see you up, this is your cue! You will run to the ship and do not ever look back. He will try and get to you, but we will do our best to hold him back,’’ he explains quickly.
I nod throughout his whole speech. I get it.
‘’The backpack is on the ship, your only assignment is run as fast as you can to get onboard on it,’’ he instructs.
‘’Thank you, Zuuri,’’ I say again, tears in my eyes.
He smiles softly. In an unnatural way, but he's gotten better at it during these last few months.
‘’And for the record, I was never onboard the virus spreading on your planet,’’ he adds.
I place my hand in his as we walk down the stairs. My aching muscles weren’t used to this much strain, after being in bed for weeks.
Now I had hope. As long as I got home, I’ll deal with this trauma then.
My only goal now is to get out of here.
My bare feet pad against the marbled tiles.
I see his silhouette, sitting in one of the chairs in the patio. His ears twitch, as if he can hear me coming. He turns abruptly. Eyes wide when he sees me.
Zuuri motions with his hands that he should stay seated. When we get outside, Zuki greets me with the biggest smile.
‘’You are up!’’ she says cheerfully.
I give her a small smile back, nodding. Zuuri let’s go of my hand and plops down beside his brother.
‘’I got her up,’’ he grins cheekily at Kai’ine.
But Kai’ine can’t keep his eyes from me. Staring at me.
Panic bites me, and I hope he feels it too. Mistaking it from panic from seeing him, and not panic because I’m scared that I won’t reach the ship on time.
‘’How are you feeling?’’ Zuki asks gently.
My body starts shaking slightly, Kai’ine notices.
He want to get up, but Zuuri holds him back by one arm. Shaking his head.
‘’Better,’’ I smile. Lie. I feel worse. If that was even possible.
Zuuri turns to his brother, with a broad smile on his face.
‘’Ma’ari said she wanted to go for another hike, possibly this week?’’
Zuki gives me a slight nod.
My cue.
Kai’ine notices it, of course. He tries to get up once more, but this time the twins launch at him at the same time.
‘’Now!’’ Zuuri yells as my momentary shock dies down before I turn and run with all my might to the white ship.
I don’t think I’ve ever run this fast in my entire life.
Kai’ine roars. Most terrifying sound I’ve ever heard. He screams at his siblings in their mother tongue.
I never turn back.
A blow shakes the entire ground we stand on. I nearly fall on my face but manages to straighten up and get to the ship. It’s open. I run onboard.
Kai’ine’s screams are still too close for comfort. Their hold won’t last long.
‘’Voice recognition needed,’’ the computer states in a feminine voice.
‘’Mari Karlsen!’’ I stutter out, searching for the siblings as I look out the window.
‘’Confirmed,’’ she states. ‘’What is your destination?’’
I scramble my brain to remember my own address.
‘’Norway! Trondheim! City center!’’ I shout out in pieces.
Hopefully it is enough to get this thing started. I’m anxiously staring out the window. Kai’ine is breaking free, never breaking eye contact with me.
I shudder.
‘’Confirmed,’’ She repeats.
The ship rises from the ground. Shaking.
‘’Go as fast as you can, please,’’ I whisper.
‘’Full capacity reached,’’ She states.
We hover in the air for a few seconds before the ship blasts away. So roughly that I fall and roll to the other side of it.
I cry out in victory. All I need to do now is to get home before he reaches me.
I find my backpack in one of the several rooms on the ship. It’s so empty in here. So sterile.
This is a smaller ship than the one I first arrived here in.
I open it hastily, seeing both my phone, headphones, laptop and books were intact. A book I don’t recognize is in there, as well.
A puzzled look crosses my face. I take it out and study it. It’s the first book Kai’ine brought me from the Flint Castle. Ancient Egypt.
I flip the cover open, and a note falls out. I fumble to open it quickly, scared.
‘A book for your journey ahead. Do not forget us. I will not forget you.’
-Z
Tears gather in my eyes. I wish he came with me. Both of the twins.
But all of knew that I had to do this journey on my own.
A feeling of utter desperation hits and I fall to my knees. The air knocked out of my lungs.
Kai’ine.
My fists ball to my sides. He doesn’t have the right to feel that way!
***
I lie in bed. Shaking. Terrified.
No sounds could be heard on the ship. Nothing. Only the stars and galaxies passing me by was the only source of light I used.
Too scared to turn the lights on and find Kai’ine on board. Laughing at my failed attempt to get away from him.
I have never felt so helpless, so small. I was in a universe I knew nothing about. On a spaceship that I didn’t know how to steer. In the middle of wherever in the galaxy.
If this ship broke down, I went down with it.
With shaking hands, I throw the blanket over my head. Trying to hide from the monsters inside my head. Because that was all that it was. Monsters in my head.
My own doubt.
I clench my fingers together. Feeling cold gold press against my fingers. I look down in surprise.
The ring Kai’ine gave me.
I pry it off, ready to throw it away. An aggravated scream leaves my lips.
I can’t throw it away.
I place it back on my middle finger. This will be my sign of victory. The one thing from Ter’ais that will force me to remember what actually happened. That this truly happened.
And it will be my victory.
***
The trip took three days. Just like the computer said. I barely got any sleep. Whenever I did, I saw Kai’ine’s angry face. Telling me that he was on his way.
That I could never escape him.
It terrified me to the bone.
So far, he hadn’t shown up. I took that as a good sign. The ship notifies me that we are ready for landing, and this time I hold on to something, so that I won’t roll around.
The ship lands gracefully on the ground. The door immediately opens.
I could only find the traditional clothes on board, so I wore them with the promise that I would burn it as soon as I got home. I ran out the ship, backpack strapped on.
As soon as I stepped out, it disappeared.
I wasn’t going to worry about that.
I fall to my knees. Breathing in the air I know so well. The smell of the ocean.
We landed on the hiking trail Kai’ine took me from. So many months ago. I wonder how much time has passed here? Tears stream down my eyes as I take in the scenery.
I’m home.
My phone goes off. A thousand different notifications. From friends. Family. ‘Received 7 days ago’ it read.
On earth I have been gone only a week. In truth, I was gone for at least three months.
I lift the phone to my ear, calling the first person that comes to my mind. She picks up after two beeps.
‘’Where the hell have you been!’’ she yells, angry.
I sit there in silence, happy that I can reach her. I can reach anyone I want. A sob leaves my mouth. I sit there, shaking and crying, in the middle of the hiking trail.
‘’Gudrun,’’ I cry out.
‘’Where are you? I’m coming to get you,’’ she says determined.
I tell her my whereabouts and she run to me within ten minutes. She falls to the ground, embracing me. I cry out, both in happiness and sadness at the same time.
I embrace her and hold her tight. Afraid that she might disappear any second.
‘’Oh my,’’ she whispers. On the verge of tears herself.
‘’Where have you been?’’ she asks gently. ‘’What are you wearing?’’ she comments, and I laugh out as I desperately try and wipe my tears.
‘’I have so much to tell you,’’ I hiccup as she helps me to my feet.
We walk hand in hand back to my apartment. Clinging to her as if someone would rip me from her any moment.
Someone like a blue skinned alien with yellow and blue eyes.
‘’You have to promise me to have an open mind. You also need to help me figure out what to tell the police. They’re probably looking for me, if I know my mother correctly,’’ I say, a silent chuckle leaves my mouth.
She nods, listening.
’’I have a lot of evidence to support my case, but the media can never get to it,’’ I say sternly.
‘’You’re scaring me Mari,’’ she mumbles worriedly.
‘’Me too,’’ I whisper. ‘’Me too,’’.
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