SWNOVELS The Alpha’s Pen Pal: Chapter 12
“Have your parents said anything?” I asked Nolan as he walked up to me before training. “Have they heard anything?”
“I don’t know if they’ve heard anything, and no, they haven’t said anything to me.” Nolan sighed. “And I am sure my answer will be the same tomorrow,” he added as he bent down to stretch.
I huffed in exasperation. The same answer. The same fucking answer every day since my parents told me Felix and Fiona were trying to adopt Haven. And that was several weeks ago.
I tried to be patient, but patience had never been one of my strong suits. I was more of a “right now” kind of male.
That restlessness inside me stirred again, but I pushed it down, tempering it with my breathing and my stretching.
It had been happening more and more in the weeks since I learned of Haven’s situation with her family. This fierce, feral thing inside of me would rear its ugly head any time I would think about Haven or someone would mention her, and I would have to refocus and recenter myself to push it back into the recesses of my mind.
“Dude, I know you’re anxious and upset and impatient, but you don’t have to growl at me,” Nolan muttered.
“I wasn’t growling.”
“You were literally just growling at me,” he argued.
“I didn’t growl!”
“You totally growled,” Reid chimed in as he joined us, plopping onto the grass and leaning back on his palms. “Oh, look, his eyes are flashing too.”
“Don’t provoke him more, Reid,” Nolan scolded.
“Is it provoking if I’m just pointing out a fact?”
“Reid.” Nolan shook his head at him again, his brows raised and eyes wide in warning.
“Get off your ass and run with me,” I grumbled, taking off to run laps around the field without checking to see if they followed.
I knew they would.
I set a slower pace so they could keep up with me, even though I itched to sprint off some steam. But I also wanted to talk with them, and out of earshot of our parents.
“Did you get them?” Reid murmured, and Nolan glanced behind him to check on our dads.
“Not yet,” I grunted back.
“What’s the holdup?” Nolan asked.
“The card. It’s locked up tight in the safe, and I don’t know the code.”
“Your birthday?” Reid asked.
“No.”
“Maddie’s birthday?” Nolan suggested.
“Tried that one. And Seb’s.”
“Seb’s what?”
I spun around to see my brother running close enough to us to eavesdrop. “Fuck off,” I muttered, then turned back forward.
“No way,” he argued. “I’ll tell Dad you’re trying to buy plane tickets to Colorado unless you buy me one too.”
“How did you—“
“It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what the three of you are trying to buy with the pack’s emergency credit card that is kept in the safe.” He chuckled with a roll of his eyes. “Which I also know the code to, by the way,” he added, looking at his fingernails, like he didn’t just drop a crazy important detail on us.
“Well, then, tell us!” I demanded.
“Take me with you,” he demanded back.
I gritted my teeth and stared him down, but he just stared right back, unaffected by my demeanor.
“He’s growling again,” Reid stage whispered, and Nolan snorted but tried to cover it with his hand.
“Fine,” I hissed out between my teeth. “What’s the code?”
He grinned in triumph. “It’s 59226.”
“Why?” I asked with a furrowed brow.
“Because it spells ‘lycan.’”
I blinked at him a few times. “That’s a terrible code.”
“I know, right?” He laughed.
“No, Seb, we’ve watched Harry Potter way too many times. We’re not watching it again tonight. If you want to watch it, you can have your own movie night in your own room,” Reid said as we rounded the corner nearest our dads.
Sebastian pulled his lips into his mouth and turned his head towards Nolan to hide his cracking facade from our dad’s watchful gaze.
I smiled at my dad as we passed, and he returned it, although it wasn’t his usual smile.
My heart sank, and my stomach tightened, but I clenched my jaw and kept running, albeit a bit faster than before.
“Wes, slow down!” Reid panted from behind me, but I was locked into my rhythm and unable to break my stride to let them keep up with me.
What I wasn’t expecting, however, was the sound of footsteps next to me, matching my pace. I glanced to the side, and there was Sebastian, keeping up with my every step.
“Come on, Wes, I know you can go faster,” he taunted, his eyes glinting with a challenge.
But underneath his challenge, I could also see his understanding, his knowledge that what I needed was a distraction.
I picked up the pace again, and he stayed right by my side.
“Is that all you’ve got?”
I grunted and sped up again, and he did, too, but I could see him struggling.
That thing inside me preened with confidence and gave me an extra boost of energy and speed. Sebastian was faster than we realized, but I had trained harder and longer. He could keep up, but he couldn’t maintain the speed for much longer.
I rushed ahead one last time, giving it everything I had, and Seb fell behind, laughing as the sounds of Reid and Nolan cheering and clapping echoed around our training grounds.
I soared around the last corner and finished the straightaway to our dads, where I lifted my arms in victory and spun around in a celebratory dance as Sebastian came in soon after me.
His cheeks were red, and he huffed and panted. But I had never felt more energized and alive. The edginess under my skin no longer felt foreign but integrated into my soul and the very essence of my being.
“Good race,” Sebastian puffed out between his breaths. “I’ll get you next time,” he added, and I rolled my eyes.
“We’ll see.” I chuckled as I walked to the water jugs.
I filled my cup several times, gulping the cool water down my burning throat. Nolan and Reid followed close behind with Seb, the three of them whispering and chuckling to each other about the impromptu race we’d just had.
I smiled to myself as I listened to their bickering and teasing. They were idiots at times, but I was lucky to have them by my side, lucky they would be the three closest to me as we led the pack with our mates when it was our time.
Their voices softened and then stopped altogether, and a chill ran through my body at the sudden silence and tension in the training yard. That sickening feeling in my stomach returned, and that primal thing within my soul sat up straighter, awake and alert to the approaching threat.
I placed my cup on the table, taking care to not crush it or slam it down. I cracked my neck to the right, shaking off the dread settling on my shoulders and my heart. Then I turned around and met the eyes of our parents.
Fiona was in Felix’s arms, her head resting against his chest and her eyes red-rimmed. He buried his face in her hair, and I could just see the outline of his mouth as he comforted her, although I could not hear what he said. My mom and dad watched them, my mom tucked into my dad’s side and his hand stroking her shoulder. Brad stood to the side, watching his friends.
Dad turned his face to me, his eyes locking with mine. His gaze was serious and pained and told me everything I needed to know.
I didn’t want to ask. I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want them to tell me, to confirm what I suspected was true. Their looks, their actions, their emotions were confirmation enough.
But the words left my mouth before I could stop them, spewing out from between my lips without my control.
“What happened?” I asked, but my words were barely audible, not even loud enough to be called a whisper.
My dad heard, though, or saw my lips moving, or both, and he swallowed and looked down at the ground.
“What happened?!” I asked again, louder this time.
The adults all looked at each other the way adults do when they’re deciding if they should let you in on what they know, and I lost it.
“TELL ME!” I demanded, my hands tensing, my fingers curling.
A twinge of pain shot through my body and out through my fingertips, but I ignored it. I focused on my mom instead, on her watery eyes.
“Wesley, you need to take a deep breath and calm down,” she murmured.
“Just tell me, Mom!” I begged. The pain shot through my body again and caused the veins in my neck to pop as I tried to hold it back. “Please,” I added, my voice cracking.
Dad blew out a breath and then looked me straight in the eyes again.
“The adoption agency denied Felix and Fiona’s application,” he said. “They can’t adopt Haven.”
I blinked and then shook my head. I had to have misheard him.
“No, that doesn’t make sense,” I said. “They are good people, wonderful parents. Anyone can see that. Why would they reject them?”
“It doesn’t have anything to do with them as people,” my mom said, glancing at Felix and Fiona with a smile. “In fact, they approved them to adopt in general if they choose to. But they can’t adopt Haven.”
“But why not?” I asked. That thing inside me bristled and edged closer to the surface. “I don’t understand. What aren’t you telling me?”
“They were denied, because someone else already adopted Haven. Another family.”
“But—“ I furrowed my brow and looked at each of them. “But you said it could take a long time. Months. Or even longer.”
“Usually it does,” Dad said.
“So then, how did this other family adopt her so quickly? How were they able to do what you weren’t?”
“I don’t know, Wes. We did everything we could. We—“
“No, you didn’t fucking do EVERYTHING you could!” I snapped. “You focused too much on doing things the ‘right way,’ on keeping your reputation intact and not cutting corners or doing things under the table or getting your hands dirty. You could have done more!”
I paced from side to side in agitation, my hands running through my hair and tugging at the strands, trying to cause myself pain somewhere else on my body so I could ignore the pain in my soul. I couldn’t explain this intense desire to have her here with us instead of out there with someone else.
Maybe because she was human and younger than me and had already been through so much in her life. Or maybe because I was one of the few friends she had made in her life. Whatever the reason, though, I wanted—needed—her to be with us.
“Who adopted her?” I asked.
“We don’t know. They won’t give us that information or a way for you to contact her. They said the court sealed the file.”
My body stiffened and spasmed, and I stifled a cry at the sharp pain shooting up my spine.
“Boys, come over here,” my mom murmured, waving Reid, Nolan, and Seb over to her and our parents.
My dad started walking towards me with slow, precise steps. “Wes, you need to—“
“No, Dad! This is all your fault! All our fault! She should be here, with us, where she could be safe and happy and healthy, but instead, she is with Goddess knows who! And she probably thinks I abandoned her or didn’t care about her! And I’ll never get to tell her that I tried, that I tried to find a way to help her. Because you’re too worried about what others will think about us going out of our way to help a human girl!”
I held in another cry and bent forward at the waist, my hands clutching my stomach as it threatened to purge its contents.
My dad lunged for me and crouched down next to me, helping me keep my balance as I moved to be on all fours.
“That’s it, Wesley, just let it out,” he muttered. “Don’t try to hold it back. It will make it worse.”
“I hate you,” I spat.
“I know,” he said.
“I hate you! I hate that you failed her.” I gasped as my body twitched and stiffened even more, my bones cracking and reassembling under my skin. “I hate that I failed her,” I croaked out.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his hands gripping my shoulders.
“You wouldn’t have to be sorry if you’d done what you promised!” I yelled.
My spine gave out a resounding crack, and I threw my head back, letting out a pained cry, although it sounded more like a howl.
I groaned and clawed at the ground, barely noticing my elongated nails. Everything was brighter and stronger smelling. My heart raced, and my nose sniffed at the air as one last painful crack shook my whole body, sending a fire over every single nerve ending in me.
And then everything was quiet and loud at the same time. I could hear not only my heartbeat but my dad’s, my mom’s, and everyone else who was staring at me with wide eyes.
I stood up to my full height again, noticing my shredded clothes on the ground. My eyes moved to my hands, now dark gray and covered in fur, with long digits and long, sharp nails.
I heard my dad shift beside me, and his black lycan looked mine in the eye. I blinked at him and then heard his voice come through my head.
“Run with me,“ he said, his first words ever to me through our pack mindlink. “Run off your pain.”
He took off towards the tree line, and my lycan followed after him, letting out a howl towards the sky as he did.
We ran through the trees for most of the day, and even when the sun went down, I stayed in the forest by myself, still in my newly shifted lycan form. I lost track of time while I was running. With the way I was feeling, it seemed as if I would need a lifetime to run off the pain.