Chapter 18 Needed
Carrie
My head was dizzy as I lay in Jason’s bed, revelling in the pleasant lethargic afterglow. In all fairness Asshole Dane had known what he had been doing in bed, but he had never been anywhere near this good. Jason only had to exist to be more satisfying than that one. Maybe he might have had an unfair advantage since he was my mate, but I was pretty sure, all things being equal, he would still be superior in every way.
I regretted every minute I had spent on that waste-of-time alpha all the more. I felt sorry for Heidi, since she was the poor person fate had stuck with him. That flash of light that had sabotaged my challenge had been about the best thing that could have happened to me.
It almost made me believe that there was something to this whole fate thing.
Jason moved from where he lay, and I looked over to see what he was doing. He wore a self-satisfied smile , and as much as I wanted to challenge his cockiness, I also kind of liked it.
Ah, I was so conflicted.
“Don’t look too pleased with yourself,” I said, poking my finger into his very masculine, very pleasing chest.
“And why shouldn’t I?”
I couldn’t think of a good answer, so I just raised my eyebrows at him.
“If you’re telling me you weren’t pleased, I don’t believe you. No one is that good of an actress.”
“Wait, are you saying I can’t act?” I asked. I put my hand over my heart as if I’d been mortally insulted.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
I faked upset. “I can’t believe you’d say that to your mate.”
“You’re going to have a lot of surprises with me then, if you’re that easily shocked.” He laughed and grabbed my hand by the wrist. He began tracing patterns into my palm, and I watched silently as he did it and the tingles of contact ran through my body. Was everything he did sensual?
Probably.
“I regret the time we wasted,” he commented, looking up from my hand to my eyes to maintain steady contact.
“It’s been about a week.”
“The way I figure it, I could have had you about three dozen times since then if we had just gotten along from the beginning,” he said, his tone teasingly serious.
“You’re saying more than four times a day?” I asked, pointing out his exaggeration.
“What? Do you think we could fit in more? As much as I’d like to stay in bed all day every day with you, the pack does need me sometimes.”
I just laughed at his absurdity until he grew solemn.
“The pack will need you, too. If you’re willing. I’m not going to try to force you into the traditional luna roll. It’s unlikely that our pack will have any major standing in our lifetimes, but the plan is that in the future, it’ll grant safety and support to a lot of people who haven’t had it easy.”
His sudden seriousness drew me in, and I hung on his words. The idea of being a luna—something that had once filled me with pleasure and purpose—now left a sour taste lingering in my mouth and anxiety curling in my stomach.
But, if I didn’t step up, I was letting my mistake with Asshole Dane ruin something I apparently had truly been destined for. I wasn’t just some placeholder, I was the true mate of a burgeoning alpha, and I could already see the power he would be able to wield once the pack grew in number and structure. Deep down I knew I could be a great asset to these people. They needed me, in a way Greenwoods never would have.
“I’ll do it. I’m willing to be luna.”
My wolf was thrilled at my words. She hadn’t quite trusted us humans to keep things together, although the marking had soothed her, and this was further confirmation that we were not going to fight the natural pull between us.
He moved closer and kissed me, possessing my mouth thoroughly. I melted into him, and we explored each other’s bodies again.
When we were both finally, temporarily sated, we emerged from the bedroom and tried to find something to eat. I dug around the cupboards and found them just as bare as when he had been confining me here against my will. I opened the fridge. “Your eating habits are incredibly unhealthy,” I complained.
He shrugged. “I’m a werewolf.”
“That doesn’t make you invincible.”
He grinned. He was only wearing boxers, and while I appreciated the visible expanse of his skin, I also enjoyed his satisfaction and amusement. It leaked through the bond as much as I could read it on his face. He was so easy on the eyes.
With those glorious hands and arms, he pulled out a package of noodles and a aluminum can of some horrid meat.
“Could you be a more stereotypical bachelor?” I asked him.
“Yes, I’m sure I could,” he said blithely. “I keep my place cleaner than the stereotype.”
Well, he had me there, since I had exploited that trait to annoy him. He threw the questionable meat which I could only guess was ham into a frying pan while he boiled water. My wolf thought it looked promising. I did not. Meat was best when it was still in recognizable pieces.
“I’m buying some groceries after work tomorrow.”
He smiled. “If you want. I don’t usually cook, I usually eat with the pack.”
“I don’t cook much either. Does the pack eat better than you do at least?”
He raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong with this?”
“Well, my wolf likes it.” I was being charitable, but it was also true. Of course, my wolf would eat anything if I let her. If only I could shift into my wolf and let her handle eating.
“So fussy,” he said, but his tone was light. “Is Greenwoods a wealthy pack?”
“Definitely midrange. It isn’t anywhere near the top five. Overall, pretty normal,” I said. My dislike of his unhealthy eating habits had more to do with my involvement in helping plan everything from employment to healthy menu choices over the last few years.
A part of me wanted to tell him everything, but I was still afraid of his reaction. I would tell him, but just not quite yet.
Once the nutritionally deficient food masquerading as supper was finished cooking, we both took our plates to the table. I wasn’t going to waste it because I was sure a new pack would be on a tight budget, and also I didn’t want to ruin the first meal we sat down together to eat. It was strange that this was going to be how we would start our lives together, but it seemed fitting. Things might be hard, but I was becoming excited for the challenge.
There were a lot of details I would need to look into soon, but I had an optimistic feeling that we could do this together.
“You feel happy,” he commented.
“Yes. I do.” I hadn’t felt truly happy in a while, so it was a nice change. And I could narrow down the moment I began feeling satisfied with my life again to the moment he showed up at my apartment.
Could I really only be happy if I were in a relationship with a male? No, it wasn’t entirely that. I had been content when I had been a scout, although I’d been longing for him. It was connection I had been missing. Even after Asshole Dane had thrown me away, I still had my friends and family and pack. I had been furious, but my true misery hadn’t really begun until I had been tossed out as a rogue.
But I had all that back now, but better, my true mate and a new pack that really needed me.
“I’m glad,” he said. “I didn’t think there was a single female out there who would want to deal with this mess willingly.”
There were a few females in the pack already, but he referred to sharing the responsibility of it.
“I can help.” I could, and I would need to, because with something like this problems were always coming.