The Alpha's Mutt

I took in a deep breath, attempting to steel myself against what I was feeling through his touch. I turned around to face him, pulling my arm away as I did so.

“Please do not touch me.” I warned.

“I’m sorry.” He whimpered.

“What do you want?” I snapped.

“I want us to talk.”

“There is nothing to talk about. You made your choice.” I sneered. “Where is Sauda anyway? Should I not have had the pleasure of the Luna’s presence as well?”

“Sauda is gone. I would have never made her Luna.”

“I’m sorry to hear that she left you. Let me guess, she found her own mate.” I retorted, sarcastically.

“No. I had her locked up after I found out about her treachery. She was the one who sent you away. I had never given such an order. It was all a set-up. She and her conspirators had arranged it to get rid of you, so that she could have a chance to be Luna. They have all been banished now.”

Admittedly, I was surprised by this information. I certainly had not expected to hear any of this. But I kept my face blank, not allowing my emotions to betray me.

“That changes nothing. She merely disposed of your problem for you.” I stated.

“That is not true. I swear it.” He pled. “I wanted you. I still want you.”

I scoffed. Refusing to believe his words.

“Please, will you at least let me show you something? Something that may prove to you how much I have missed you.”

I looked into his eyes and could see them sparkling with unshed tears. My heart clenched, painfully, at the sight. I was not ready to forgive, and I would certainly not forget, but there was something about the way that he was staring at me, in that moment, that made me want to believe what he was saying. I wanted his words to be true, but I did not know how to convince myself to ever trust him again.

“Fine…” I sighed, after arguing with myself for a time. “I will give you a chance to show me whatever it is that you want to show me. After that, no more funny business. I am here in a professional capacity, and I expect to be treated as such.”

“Of course. If you still feel that way after this, then I will respect your wishes. I promise.”

“Then lead the way.”

Farris led me out of his office and away from the pack house. He attempted to reach for my hand several times, to which I rebuffed. We were not even close to there. Though, I could not help but admire his persistence.

A moment into the walk, the trail we were taking became quite familiar to me. I could not help but wonder why he would be taking me there. How was my shabby, old cabin supposed to prove that he had been thinking of me or missing me in some way? That place held nothing but pain for me. I did not know how he believed that taking me there was going to woo me in some way.

“Why are you taking me here?” I questioned, as the outline of the old shack began to come into view.

“Shh…” He instructed. “Just wait.”

As we approached, I noticed that the exterior of the cabin had, largely, been repaired. The holes having been patched. The windows and door replaced. It even appeared that the roof had been re-shingled. I wondered why he would go to the trouble to fix these things. Did he expect me to move back into this place?

He approached the door and opened it slowly. A wide smile spreading across his features as he bid me to cross the threshold. I sighed, not excited for this experience. There were a lot of painful memories attempting to emerge from the deep space in my mind that I had filed them away in. I fought them back, refusing to break, I was not delicate any longer. I did not need protecting. I was not some abandoned pup left alone to survive by herself. I am an Alpha with a pack of my own behind me.

“You are Alpha Mysti. You are NOT a mutt.” I repeated, inwardly.

I stepped into the space and gasped in surprise. The interior had been completely redone. It was beautiful, set-up more as a space for a romantic getaway by the pond, rather than a run-down shack for an unwanted pack member. The walls had been painted a soft red and, twinkling, fairy lights had been strung from the dark ceiling in a random, but dramatic pattern. The bed had been replaced with a much nicer looking, larger one draped in whites. Flowers had been placed on nearly every surface, filling it with life. It barely looked like the space that it had before.

“What is this place?” I wondered, speaking to myself more than I was to him.

“Do you like it? I did it for you.” He beamed.

“It’s beautiful. I just…I don’t understand why?”

Why would he do such a thing? I was overcome with emotion. Part of me wanted to laugh and the other part wanted to cry. What was I supposed to do with all of this? How was I supposed to process these things?

“I did it in case I ever found you. In case you came back.” He admitted. “I wanted us to have a special place. Somewhere that you would feel comfortable. Where we could start again.”

“Start again?” I questioned, skeptical, as I turned to face him with an eyebrow cocked.

“Well, I had always been hoping that we…” His words trailed off as he spoke, almost as if he were afraid to voice them out loud.

Afraid to have the last of his hopes rejected.

He sighed in frustration. Obviously unsure of what he should say and what he should keep to himself. He took in a deep breath and released it slowly, before daring to start again…

“I have really missed you, Mystique. You have no idea how hard these past years have been for me.” He shrugged, running his hands through his hair and down his face.

“Then why did you not come looking for me, yourself?” I charged, holding strong in my resolve not to forgive him.

“I did. I followed your scent into the forest until it disappeared. I went on countless searches of the surrounding areas. But as the time went on, my hope diminished.”

It was then that I looked at him. I mean, really, looked at him. I noticed, for the first time, how awful he looked. How unhealthy he had let himself become. He was thinner that I remembered and there were large, dark circles under his eyes. He looked as though he had not had a decent sleep in months. His hair was messy and much longer than I had ever seen him allow it to get before. While his beard was, somewhat, complimentary to him, it was very unlike him to allow it to grow as he had. I had never seen him like this in my life. He was a shell of the Alpha that I had known when I had left this place. I was surprised that I had not noticed this sooner.

“What happened to you?” I questioned, the words spilling out of my mouth before I could stop them.

“You did.” He shrugged. “Losing you was the hardest thing that I have ever gone through.”

“Why?” I pressed, still not understanding this change.

He had been after Sauda when I was sent away. He had set up a date for the two of them earlier in the day on the very night that I was banished. Why had he changed his mind? Was it merely just because she had sent me away? Had that really meant so much to him?

“Do you remember the invitation that I had sent to your room?”

“You mean the bouquet for Sauda?” I sneered, as I recalled the embarrassment of delivering a message from MY mate to another she-wolf.

“Those were not for Sauda.” He admitted, shaking his head in disappointment. “Those were for you. I wanted YOU to be the one to meet me.”

“What?!” I gasped in surprise at his statement.

I was not entirely certain that I believed him. Though there was a part of me, deep within my soul, that wanted it to be true. However, I would never admit it.

“I had wanted to tell you that I wished to give us a try. That I did not care what others had to say. You were and are my mate. Always.”

“This can’t be true…” The shock of this had left me completely overwhelmed.

My whole world had been turned upside down. Everything that had led to my going rogue had all been an elaborate plan to steal my mate. I had run from Farris when, in reality, I should have been fighting for him. My head was spinning, and I had no idea how I should be feeling.

I had spent so long hating him and thinking that he had sent me away in favor of Sauda. It was difficult to realize that it had all been a lie. How could I backtrack on two years of this kind of resentment? Was it even possible?

What about all of the pain from before that even? He had been involved in my treatment as the outcasted mutt. He may not have directly harmed me, but he did nothing to protect me either.

Then there came the other question on whether or not to even believe his words. For all I knew, this could have been a hoax. He could have fallen into depression for many reasons. What if none of this really had anything to do with me?

What if he only wanted me now because of my power? My newfound status?

I needed time to think, and I could not do that with him this close.

“Good night, Alpha Farris.”

Was all that I managed to say before I bolted. I shot out of there and ran away as fast as my legs could carry me. This was all too much. All too real. I needed to focus on one thing at a time. I could not deal with this right now.